Chapter 5
"What are you, Valentine?"
**
I look around and find myself standing in darkness. The boy wearing the black hoodie walks slowly towards me, he is taunting me. The shadow that his hoodie casts over his eyes only shows his smug smirk. Evil surrounds him, it echoes off every step he takes.
His ruff voice speaks low, "you always look at something and see its outside. But I can see the pain you have on the inside."
His evil laugh splits through the thick silence. Everywhere I look it's black. The floor, the walls, even the ceiling is black. I'm not nervous, my heart isn't beating fast. I don't even feel my heart beat at all. The boy begins to laugh once again, while he stops only a foot away from me. I am still blind, I can't see anything under his hoodie except his evil smirk.
"When you look at a unicorn you look for its horn, but what is a unicorn without its horn? What is a dragon without its fire? What is a dog without its bark? What is a rose without its pedals? What is a twin without its other half?"
He smiles showing his sharp teeth. He lifts his hoodie back with a satisfied smile. He has piercing gray eyes and solid black hair. The darkness outlines his chiseled jawline. He tilts his head and examines me.
"What are you, Valentine?"
I gasp sitting up, covered in a puddle of my own sweat. The moonlight shines through my slightly open curtains.
What are you, Valentine?
His words echo in my head, nonstop. His deep voice slides through the silence of my room. My door is cracked to let the darkness come deeper into my room. I close my eyes and let out a sigh of relief. I plop back down on my pillow. Afraid of opening my eyes, afraid that I'll be back in the darkness with that guy. It felt so real, could it have been?
My throat feels so dry I can barely swallow. I push the covers off me and make my way down stairs. Grabbing a cup, I pour water into it. I sit at the table and look out the small window above the sink.
What is a twin without its other half?
I don't know. I can't even sleep without having a bad dream. As soon as I got through J's funeral I came straight home and went to bed. I didn't even bother changing out of my dress. I look down at the wrinkled black dress. I scoff and drink down the rest of the water. I slam it on the table and walk off. I go and run the shower hoping to wash away the bad dream. I want to be strong, but how when on the inside I feel like I'm slowly cracking. I turn on music and hop into the shower. I let the water run over my face and down my body. I soak up everything I can, but no matter how hard I try the dreams don't leave. I lather up soap and wash my hair and body. I step out of the shower and dry off my body. I pause the music and slip on a white tank top with pink shorts.
I turn back to my phone and see a text message.
Unknown number
We are sorry. Don't run away from us, we can help. We know your pain.
I stare at the text message. I know who it's from, but how did they get my number? I huff and delete the message. I walk into my room and throw my phone on my pillow followed by my towel. I sit on the end of my bed lost in thought, replaying the dream in my head. I grab my phone and check the time, 3:45. I have two more hours of sleep until I have to wake up for school. Today I am going to be strong, I'm going to be the girl people fear. I'm going to be V.
I slip on a black jacket over my white tank top and change out my pink shirt for black jeans. Then pulling on my combat boots that lace up and pull my damp hair into a messy ponytail. I zip up the zipper on my jacket and glance at my appearance one more time before giving myself a approving nod.
I grab my car keys and walk out of the house. I made sure to leave a note on the table for mom saying I left early for school and she will have to have Marie babysit Shawn. Shawn still isn't able to go to school because he just got out of a short term coma. I shake off the bad thoughts and put on my mischievous smirk. I'm going to bring back my pranks.
I open the garage door and walk over to grab black spray paint. Oh how this going to be fun! I sling the bag of spray paints in the back seat of my car and drive to school.
I pull up and go to the front door. Slipping out a bobby-pin and sticking it into the lock on the door. With a little wiggling every other way it eventually clicks into place. Usually it would take more, but this lock is simple.
I open the door and make sure it slams behind me. I flick on the five switches, every light comes on after the other, lighting the hallway up like the forth of July. Noticing the camera from the farthest from me, I unzip my bag and pull out a can of paint. I salute the camera with my hand holding the paint can and begin to cover the lens in black paint.
It doesn't mater if they seen my appearances, I actually want them to know I did it, and I want to see the look on their faces. Val was the one who would always prank me, now I'm doing it for her. She would get a good laugh out of this. I spray paint the other two camera in the hallway, but not before saluting them.
I walk over to the lockers and smile. They are so clean painted with a nice beige color. Time to ruin it!
I let my hand move and write each letter with a fancy curve to the letters. I step back and admire my work. A smile spreads across my face.
I'm back losers!
-V
Right beside my words I drew a hand holding up piece sign. I have always had the hand of a artist, now I can show it. Grabbing the gray paint I switching my technique, outline places on the hand and words, giving it a more 3D look.
The sun slowly begins to fill the hallway through uncovered windows. I hastily clean up empty paint cans and throw them into the trash cans at the end of the hall. I sling the empty duffel bag on top of a set of lockers, and stepping into the bathroom and look at my reflection. Under the makeup I applied in the car sits dark circles and puffy cheeks.
What if you could look in a mirror and see the persons inside appearance instead of their outside?
I shake my head and punch the mirror, anger controlling my mind. Cracks split across the mirror like spiderwebs, the shattering noise piercing the silence.
Looking at my bloody fists makes the pain real, I grind my teeth while examine the forming bruises. My anger rises even more from able to feel such pain, I look up and punch the rest of the mirror.
Placing both busted hands on the sink in front of me, I realize I'm suddenly out of breath. I look up and see five of me in the cracked mirror. And I swear one of them is Val. They all are, I look at her a huge smile and crinkled eyes. That used to be us, when we were happy and care free.
What have I become?
I scream, I scream until my lungs burn begging for air. Why can't I just be normal, not have the grief, not lose everyone I care for? Is that to much to ask for? Yes.
I stop screaming and look back in the mirror. My eyes widen at the sight of the guy from my dreams standing behind me. He smiles his gray eyes look at mine in the mirror, spinning around I find him no where behind me.
I look back in the cracked mirror and find a broken me.
His words suddenly come to mind. What is a twin without its other half? I close my eyes and inhale deeply. I have to be strong, for Val and J. I hear the doors open in the hall, the sound of someone yelp and I smile. I walk over to the bathroom lights and flick them off. I walk into a stall and lock it, standing on top of the toilet.
And now I wait for the others reactions.
**
Once kids began to crowd outside the lockers I exited the bathroom. And everyone turn to look at me. I smirk and see the playful spark in all their eyes, they want more.
I then catch a pair of brown eyes in the crowd. Phoenix frowns at me and shakes his head. My smile fades, and suddenly I don't feel strong. I feel broken again, I feel sad. He turns and walks off, that's when I notice the Axel and Shepherd shaking their heads and following him. They are all disappointed in me. They never wanted to be bad guys, but they wanted to be my friend. And I just let them down.
The bell rings and people begin to head to class. People pat me on the back and greet me with 'Welcome backs' and 'good to see you again'. But my eyes never leave the three retreating backs in front of me. I should feel happy and glad I destroyed school property. Then it's like realization just slapped me in the face. Why would someone be proud of that? Why am I putting on a show?
Because you don't know what else to do.
And for once I agree with my head, or maybe that was my heart? I feel empty and the only way I made myself feel whole was by changing me. I wanted to be different, I wanted to look different.
So when my sister died I dyed my hair blonde, erasing it's natural jet black strands that were straight as a board. Now it is a caramel and has gained some wave to it. My eyes are still their same stormy blue eyes with a hint of gold.
I tried to change my look so I didn't look like my twin. But when I looked in the mirror I see a girl with black hair and happy blue eyes, I see Val. And I see me, the broken me.
I feel a hand on my shoulder, and spin around in surprise to see the hall is empty except for me and the principal.
And now it's time to deal with the consequences of wanting to be different.
Mr. Harvey glares at me and points down the hall towards his office. I always told myself to hold my head high when I got in trouble, but now I can't stop myself from letting my head hang low.
Once I'm in Mr Harvey's office I sit on a leather chair with wooden armrests in front of his desk. He sits at his desk and hands me a form.
"Since you decide to bust out your old spray paints you can tell your mom about it. Your suspended from school for a week. Now sign this saying you won't be back until next Monday."
Only a week, huh? I was expecting two weeks. Oh well. I pick up the pin and right my name neatly.
"Ms. Walker right your name correctly."
I look down at my writing.
V Walker is written in my curvy curse handwriting. I shrug my shoulders and sit the pen on his desk. I will never go by my real name again. Because when someone says it it sounds like Val.
"That is my name, and I'm not changing it." I stand and walk out of Mr. Harvey's office and out the school doors. I hop in my car and drive back home. What does this day still have in store for me?
Because my gut tells me this is the calm before the storm. My gut tells me I shouldn't do this. I am pushing the people away that I care for. I'm alone.
I pull up into my driveway to see another unfamiliar car sitting in it. Apparently I never left for work and my car is here now. So why is there now three cars? I look in my side mirror and the question runs through my head again. My makeup as worn and my dark circles begin to show with my puffy cheeks.
What is a twin without its other half?
Then the answers comes to my mind. What is a unicorn without its horn? What is a dragon without its fire? What is a dog without its bark? What is a rose without its pedals? What is a twin without its other half? Their all one thing, just one single word.
Their all broken.
**
A/N
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. If you did leave a vote and comment. Give me your opinions and thoughts about this book so far. I really thank you all for reading and remember, keep it simple!
-Emz