*Dylan's POV*
Me and Johnnie are laying in bed talking until my phone vibrates
"sorry" I say
"no go ahead you can look" he smiles
I look down at my phone it's Brendan texting me
Brendan>>Dylan: hey you busy?
"it's Brendan and he's asking if I'm busy. Am I busy?" I ask Johnnie
He doesn't smile at the sound of his name "no not at all" he says
"is that sarcastic?" I ask
"no" he says, again I can't tell if he's lying to me.
I text Brendan back
Dylan>>Brendan: no not now. Why?
Brendan>>Dylan: I was wondering if you want to come to my house and hang with me and some friends
Dylan>>Brendan: is there beer and are the people there bad?
Brendan>>Dylan: the people are alright sometimes they can be rude. But there is gonna be a little beer there
Uh
Dylan>>Brendan: oh sorry I just found out that I'm busy. Maybe we can hang out later?
I lied I'm not busy, I just don't want to go to any parties
Brendan>>Dylan: okay. Yeah we can hang out sometime later
With that I set my phone down on my side table
"are you gonna hang out with that guy?" Johnnie ask
"his name is Brendan and no I'm not" I say
He smiles and kisses my cheek. I get on top of him and I straddle his lap.
"Dylan what are you doing?" Johnnie giggles
"nothing" I set my hands on his chest over his shirt. "I own you" I joke
"you own me?" he ask and smiled up at me
I get close to him and whisper "yes. Your mine"
"that's not true" he whispers back to me as he wraps his arms around my lower back
"babe I will not share you with anyone in this whole world. You are mine" I put my lips on his neck to leave a love bite
His hands trail down my back to my butt "Johnnie we can't do anything" I say
"don't hate me but why are you stopping?" he ask
"I won't hate you by just asking. But we can't do anything okay" I say again
"are you feeling okay?" he ask
"hmm uh" I say
"are you feeling alright. Down there?" he ask
"uh" is all I could say
"Dylan is there something wrong down there? Or something I need to know?" he ask
"uh" I say again
"Dylan do you need help with something?" he ask
"no" I say
"tell me what's going on" he says
"it's embarrassing but I'm-
I cut myself off
"you can tell me anything" he says
"I'm. On my period" I hide my face in his chest
He giggles "not funny. It's embarrassing" I say
He runs my back for comfort
"it's okay Dylan. That's normal for you girls" he says
"I know but I just don't like it" I say
"it's part of life" he says
"but it's a stupid part of life" I say "why can't guys just have them and not us?" I add
He giggles "cause we have a p-
"don't need to say it" I cut him off
He kisses the top of my head "you can look at me now" he says
"no. I don't want to look at anyone after I just talk about that" I say
"I promise you it's fine. Dylan I told you that you can talk to me abut anything and not be embarrassed to" he says
"I still don't want to look at you" I say
"a'm I that bad looking?" he ask
"no your beautiful" I look at him
"I like to look you on your eyes when you talk" he kisses the tip of my nose
I blush "Johnnie when Angelina always watched your videos. I was forced to listen to them or watch them" I say randomly
"you didn't like my videos?" he ask
"I didn't pay attention to any videos. But when I was forced to watch the videos I did thing you were kinda cute-
"kinda? Dylan I'm smoking" he jokes
I giggle "and I thought you were gonna be short but when I saw you stand up o the plane you were taller then I expected" I say
He giggles "what did you think of Bryan?" he ask
"we'll on his videos he always said he needed to shave his beard but it look like he had nothing. When I saw him I'm person he had a little stubble of blonde hair" I say
-3 days pass-
Me and Angelina just came back from Walmart. I bought blue hair dye for my hair
(A/N: Liam is hanging out with Kate)
"what did you get?" the guys ask as we walk inside
"nothing" I lie
Me and Angelina walk up to my Washroom in my room. Angelina said she will help me dye my hair blue.
We get my hair bleached blonde. Angelina giggles "you look wired with blonde hair" she says
I look in the mirror at my blonde hair. Eeekkkk my red apple hair is now blonde
"whatever. Just put it in" I say
"oh that's what you said to Johnnie last night" Angelina wiggled hers eyebrows
"I did not say that to him last night and I meant the blue dye" I sys
She giggles. It takes a hour but we finish colouring my hair. It's now dry and a deep sea blue hair color
I like it "Angelina do you like the color?" I ask
"yea I think it's cute" she plays with a piece of my hair.
"thanks for helping" I say
She smiles and walks out. I fix my hair to put it in it's scene style it's always in. I don't add extensions or puff my hair out. I only do side bangs.
Once my hair is in its style I walk out. Hopefully the guys will like my hair and not think its wired cause there use to seeing my red hair. I go down stairs and sit right in between Angelina and Johnnie, Bryan is sitting on the other side of Angelina
"umm" Bryan looks at me
"oh. Do you like it?" I hold a small bottom part of my hair with my fingers
"it's nice" Bryan says
I look over to Johnnie "yea it's nice, it just will take a bit to get use to it" Johnnie smiles
"we'll be truthful if you don't like it I will wear a beanie until it comes out" I say
"no I love it. I promise I really do" he touches my hair and brings it to his nose "smells like blueberries though" he says
I giggle "smell my hair why not" I say
"I want to smell" Angelina comes closer to me. "it does" she smells my hair
"I have a question" Johnnie tells me
I turn back to him "yea?" I ask
"are you off of your thing?" he whispers quietly in my ear
"ya. Why?" I whisper back
"I just really want you" he whispers
"aww Johnnie! Really?" Bryan and Angelina says
"what?" Johnnie ask
"that's nasty" Angelina says
I see johnnie is embarrassed "I don't know what you two are talking about. Johnnie only ask me what we should all do today" I help Johnnie out
"oh. It sounded like he said that he really wanted you" Bryan says
"that's not what he said. You two have dirty minds" I lie "but me and Johnnie are going outside" I grab johnnies hand and on our way out of the house I grab Angelina's car keys.
"thanks for helping me back there" Johnnie look to the ground
"no problem. Don't need to be embarrassed I've said nastier things" I say
"really? Like what?" he ask
"we'll I'm not gonna repeat it" I say
We get in the car. Me in the drivers seat and him in the passenger
"wait why are you in the drivers seat?" Johnnie finally noticed
"cause I'm gonna drive" I say
"no way! Your gonna crash and get us both hurt!" he says
"no I won't" I put the key in the ignition but I don't turn it yet
"I will only let you on one condition" he says
"I will make love to you later" I read his mind
"will okay let's get going" he buckles his seat belt
I giggle and I turn the key. I press the gas and the car goes forward almost hitting the garage door but I press the other pedal
"no pull the swifter first" Johnnie says
I pull the thing and I press the down on the pedal going out of the drive way. I pull the thing again and I drive down the street
"slow down!" Johnnie says
"how do I do that?" I ask
He looks at me and I look at him "look at the road!" Johnnie says
Oh yea. I look back at the road "press he gas pedal lighter" he says
The car goes a bit slower and it keeps stopping then going then stopping "get your foot off of the break" he says
I look over at Johnnie and hes staring out the front window and he's holding the air bag part
I take my foot of the break "Dylan drive steadily" he say
"I am" I say
"no the car is swerving" he says
Actually the car is swerving. I don't know how to control it. We're kinda in the grass and on the road
"Dylan I swear having you drive is really scary" Johnnie says
Luckily we don't live where there are police cause I would've gotten pulled over. If I crash Angelina's car I would get in trouble by her
"just let me turn and go home" I stop the car. And the seat belt catches us so we don't hit the front of the car
"oh my god let me drive us" he says
"no I got it" I turn the car and drive quickly down the road. I don't know how but I park in the drive way
Johnnie quickly gets out and I get out after I pullout the keys "give me the keys" Johnnie holds his hand out
I hand him the keys and he snatches it "I'm not gonna let you drive again. You could've gotten hurt" Johnnie says
"but we didn't" I say
"whatever. You still owe me" he says
"let's go to our room then" I grab his hand.
We get to my room And I shut the door behind me. I turn around and bump into Johnnie. And he brings me into a hug. He kisses my neck and his hands go up my shirt.
"dylan" Johnnie says
"yea?" I ask
"i don't want to do this" he moves his hands to the outside of my shirt
"do what?" I ask
"I can't have. You know make love. To you" he says
"do you not love me anymore?" I back up into the door
"I do love you" he says
"then why can't you?" I ask
"because I would feel bad" he say
"your not giving me enough information?! Why would you feel bad?!" I yell
"I wouldn't enjoy it" he says
Is something going on with him? Does he not love me anymore? Why wouldn't he enjoy it? If he just doesn't want to have intercourse with me right now then why can't he just tell me? Is he cheating on me? Cause if he is then he needs to tell me so I don't get even more heart broken in the future
"okay" is all I say but I really need to say more. For some reason I mad at him. I put my hands on his chest and I push him back since he's stronger then me he only goes back not even a inch
"please don't be mad at me. I just really don't want to anymore" he says
What does he mean by that?
I turn and I walk out and Johnnie follows. "don't follow me!" I yell but of course he doesn't listen to me
We walk down stairs "what's going on?" Angelina ask
"nothing!" I yell
I walk outside and so does Johnnie. "leave me alone!" I yell
I sit down on the grass and so does Johnnie
"why won't you go?" I ask
"cause I love you" he says
He's confusing me very much "Johnnie are you just not feeling it today?" I ask
"yea. I just don't feel like we should do that today. Maybe another day" he says "are you mad at me cause I don't want to do it with you?" he ask
"no I was mad cause you were putting it in a way to make me think that you didn't like me anymore" I say
"I'm sorry" he says
He touches my back "I don't want to be touched" I say
He takes his hand back "sorry" he says again
Now I feel sorry. He was just telling me he's sorry for not wanting to do something and I should respect that. Ugh it's all confusing on what I feeling
"sorry" I tell him and I hold his hand "do you want to hold my hand?" I'm only asking cause I don't want to force him into holding my hand
"kinda" he says
"is that a yes or..." I ask
"it's a kinda" he says
Goodness just let me know. I slowly take my hand back. I love Johnnie but now he's being a diva
"I'm not trying to make you mad. Dylan I do want to hold your hand but I also don't. I'm sorry. Please respect that" he says
"I am respecting you! Johnnie I only pulled my hand away cause I'm not sure what you wanted" I say back
"don't give me attitude" he says
"I'm not!" okay maybe I am a little but "your trying to start more fights aren't you!?" I yell
"no I'm not!" he yells back
Were both standing up at this point yelling back and forth at each other
"don't talk to me like that!" I yell at him
"to bad! I already have" he yells
"why do you have to be so rude?!" I yell
"only because you are!" he yells
I cross my arms "I hate you" I say
"don't say that" he says
"I.. Hate you" I say again
"is that true?" he ask
"yea" I lie
"okay then.. I'm breaking up with you" he says
I uncross my arms "okay" I say
"okay" he copies
What do I do now? our Relationship has Gone Bad
"okay" I say again
Hopefully this 'okay' thing will not become a thing because in the book The Fault In Our Stars does this and it's wired
"stop" he says
"okay" I say again
"stop!" he yells
This is pissing him off
"okay. What are you gonna do about it?" I put my hand out and he slaps it down "don't touch me" I say
He touches my shoulder. I push him back. I'm not gonna push him hard like last time he got really hurt
"if you don't want me not to touch you then don't touch me" he says
Ugh now he's pissing me off "SHUT UP" I scream
"what are you gonna do about it?" he copies me
I jump on him and he falls to the ground. I don't want to hit him "get off of me!" he yells
"no!" I yell back
"get your fat ass off of me!" he yells
I slap him without thinking. I really didn't want to hurt him but I did "GET OFF OF ME DYLAN. I FUCKING HATE YOU TO!!" he screams and pushes me off
"No what's going out out here!" Angelina walks out and helps Johnnie off of the ground
"she slapped me" johnnie says
Angelina gives me hers hand but I slap it away and get up myself "he pushed me" I say
"cause she wouldn't get off of me!" Johnnie yells
"fuck you!" I yell at Johnnie
"we'll fuck you to!" he yells back
Me and Johnnie start yelling at each other. We get in each others faces "Stop!" Angelina pushes us back from each other right after I slap him again "you two use to be in love so what happen to make you hate each other?!" Angelina ask
"she thought I hated her cause I didn't want to have sex with her!" Johnnie yells
Angelina looks at me "you can't always have sex all the time" she tells me
"I know that but he put it in a way to make me think he hates me!" I yell
"I do hate you" Johnnie says
"good cause I hate you to" I say back
"hate is a strong word" Angelina says
"so? It's true I absolutely hate Johnnie" I say
"if you two hate each other then what are you gonna so with Liam? It gonna be hard to have a family of your gonna have a hate relationship" Angelina ask
"it will work" Johnnie says
"I'm sure that will be very hard, I do not want you two fighting in front of Liam or he will end up like-
"Dylan" Johnnie cuts her off
"I'm sorry. But yea" Angelina takes his side
Ugh. Angelina was my friend first. She is suppose to take my side but yet I'm sure she's right. My adoptive mother and dad did fight a lot in front of me and I turned out horrible. But that does not give Johnnie the right to hurt me by saying that
"bitch" I slap Johnnie
"stop hitting me!" he yells "if you weren't a girl I would slap you back!" he says
"you want to hurt me?!" I ask "Every guy that I've dated or is part of my family always has hurt me! Physically, verbally or mentally, sexually and emotionally. Johnnie do whatever you want. Go ahead hurt me. I've been hurt all my life and I know it won't go away. fuck you, fuck me, fuck everything! Nothing matters! Not me I defenetly know that. I'm only a fuck up!" I yell
I step closer to him and I turn my face so he has a clear hit "go ahead hit me!" I yell.
I see him clench his fist "I'm not gonna hit you" he says
"why not? You said you would" I back up to my distance from him
"no stop! Your both acting like kids!" Angelina yells "You two need to stop fighting cause your getting nowhere with that" Angelina is like a mum
Angelina turns and leavs us. I look at Johnnie "I hate you" I mumble
"I hate you to" he says back
Johnnie has really hurt my feelings. He said he would never say certain things to me but he did. He hates me and I hate him so he can go fuck off somewhere.
I feel tears come to my eyes so I turn and walk inside. I walk quickly up to my room and I slam the door shut. I grab my blade out of my washroom. I locked my bedroom door and sat down in my window bench
I look down at my wrist and I cut my skin reopening a scar that was there
________________________💙💜________________________________________