"Hi."
Emma's suspicious eyes flick to her mother's, who seems to be melting by the second. She then darts toward her father, who is nervously glancing at everyone around the room. She catches a glimpse of Regina, who is smiling down upon the little boy with the kindest of smiles. Finally, Emma's eyes fall to the curious little boy again.
"Hi," Emma cheerfully replies, unsure what else to say to a small child. She's never really been around kids before.
The little boy leans in even further, stealing all the air within her lungs. She wants to pull away, but some force beyond her control is keeping her rooted. "I'm Henry," he announces as his little head tilts to the side, full of curiosity.
Emma's heart stops and she swears she can hear time tick by without her organ ever making a move.
"Why is this little boy named after my father?" Regina questions, catching Emma's full attention. The blonde quickly snaps her head to the right and assesses Regina through wide eyes. "Snow please tell me you didn't have a child and name him after my father," Regina sarcastically inquires with her lips pursed out.
"I didn't..." the words die on her tongue as dark green eyes drift toward her daughter.
"Your father's name was Henry?" Emma breathlessly questions in utter shock.
"Yes," Regina confirms as she stares deep into Emma's eyes. "That's probably why I always loved the name so much when we were younger," she rambles off carelessly before her mind fills in the blank. "Emma?" Regina's voice is thick with emotions as her eyes flick back and forth between the little boy and Emma.
"I'm your son," Henry declares through a wide cheeky smile that Emma knows is her signature grin.
Emma doesn't say a word as she inspects every detail of the small boy. She doesn't need anymore confirmation because she can already feel an invisible tether forming between their two hearts. A warm thick ribbon is swarming around her heart and filling that gaping hole that she has been walking around with since she placed her baby in someone else's arms.
She doesn't need a DNA test to know this little boy is hers, her son. She already feels that bond between mother and son that could never be taken away. She examines those eyes that are identical to her mother's. His thick brown hair that resembles his father's and that smile, god that smile that is all her.
Henry leans forward and taps her nose lightly as his eyes bore into her. "You have freckles just like me," he proudly states, awakening her from her foggy haze.
"Emma?" Regina repeats, but the blonde has her mind focused on something far more important.
Emma's eyes sweep passed her son and land firmly upon her mother. She glares at the woman with enough force that would make anyone physically shrink before her.
"How do you have my son?" She drawls slowly in such a cold tone, everyone in the room wishes the floor would just open up and swallow them whole.
"It's okay," Henry responds before Snow has the chance to even open her mouth. "Grandma and grandpa have been taking very good care of me," he confirms and smiles that adoring grin. "Same with grandpa Rumple and grandma Belle..." he pauses for a moment as his mind thinks about something he considers important. "Grandma Belle doesn't like when I call her grandma though, so I stick to Belle."
Emma offers her son a small, weak smile before her eyes wander back toward her mother. She squirms in her seat slightly because Regina is burning a hole right through her temple right now, but she has other matters to attend to first.
"How do you have my son?" She repeats, her voice dripping with disdain as her eyes narrow.
"August informed us you were pregnant. Let's say Rumple worked his magic, no pun intended, and was able to procure your child. August brought him here to Storybrooke, before he disappeared again and we have been raising Henry until you came home."
The only thing hammering in Emma's mind is to pull her son into her arms and carry him far far away from this crazy town. She still cannot wrap her head around fairytale characters, a curse and her destiny. A destiny in which she was suppose to give up her son just to have him in her arms once again.
"Henry, how old are you?" Regina softly mumbles as her eyes study every detail of the little boy's face. Emma swallows thickly and turns to Regina with sorrowful eyes.
"I'm eight," he happily replies as his head falls to the side to inspect the brunette. "You're the Evil Queen, right?"
Regina's eyes double in size as she leans back, completely thrown off by the little boy's inquisitive question. "I-I suppose I am," Regina responds without confidence to hold any meaning.
"I thought you looked familiar. You look...different in my book, but kind of the same, you know?"
"Book? What book?" Emma quickly asks before the little boy becomes distracted with something else.
"It's my book that has every fairytale story that actually happened written out. I can show you!" He energetically offers sending sparks of excitement to sparkle in his eyes.
"Uh...sure..." Emma stutters not really sure how to tread through these waters. Bringing up the Evil Queen and showing Regina pictures and stories of her past can't really be a positive note for anyone in this room.
Henry hardly waits for Emma to accept the offer before his little legs are dashing through the basement and charging up the stairs. That awful thick tension instantly builds the second Henry is out of sight. The tension is palpable and not one of these adults can think of anything intelligent to say, but Regina is first to break through the silence.
The brunette doesn't care if her enemy's are in the room as she turns to face Emma. The blonde can barely make eye contact knowing what's to come. She swore she didn't want to start a family with Neal because she wanted to be with Regina, now she has to explain something that's been eating away at her for far too long.
"Emma," Regina gently whispers and the tone in her voice shreds Emma's heart. "When I asked you to move to New York..." her breath catches in her throat and Emma can hear the struggle as she forced out the words.
"I-I...I couldn't leave Neal because of Henry. I told you it was because we were planning to start a family and we were, but mostly I felt guilty. Neal wanted to keep Henry so desperately, but I knew we couldn't. It wouldn't have been fair to Henry if we did keep him." Thick tears rapidly build and cling to her tired eyes. She runs her fingers through her tangled locks, painfully, to drown out the pain jabbing in her heart. "Fuck, Regina. Neal and I were living in the bug. We didn't have a dime to our name and we were stealing cars left and right. How could we possible keep Henry? We couldn't. So, I did what I needed to. When you came to the garage that night. I wanted to leave with you, but a part of me, felt like I needed to stay for Neal...for Henry. I needed to somehow make everything right and I thought starting a family with Neal would fill the hole in my heart when I gave Henry up for adoption." Emma sighs heavily and allows her head to fall back to keep the tears from rolling down her face. "But I couldn't do it. I couldn't create a family with Neal when I was so madly in love with you."
Emma waits anxiously for Regina to respond. The woman is just staring at Emma, completely at a loss for words and the blonde has never in her life wanted to run faster than she does right now. All of that is swept away the moment they hear rushed footsteps tramping down the stairs once again.
Henry comes barreling into view with a thick brown leather book pressed securely against his chest as if the damn thing was his most prized possession. He jumps in front of both women, startling Emma and Regina as he places the book in Emma's lap.
Her long pale fingers glide effortlessly across the cover, tracing over the gold lettering that swirls and immediately draws her in.
"Once upon a time..."
~~~~~~~~~
Chicago: Eight years ago
"Come on Emma, one last push," Neal encourages as he grips Emma's hand tighter and smiles lovingly for support.
Emma shakes her sweaty locks that are clinging to her face as her head presses further down into the pillow. Her face is glistening in sweat, highlighting her beet red cheeks as she pants desperately for air.
"I can't. I just can't Neal," she cries as her tears finally leak out the corners of her eyes and pour down the side of her face, disappearing somewhere in her hair.
"Yes you can," he vows and presses his lips to her temple.
"Okay, Emma on the count of three you are going to push and keep pushing until your baby is all the way out," the doctor strictly informs her as he lowers his head to prepare for the newborn. "One," Emma gasps frantically. "Two," her insides quake with uncertainty that this baby will never make it out. "Three."
Emma bites down and screams with every ounce of energy she has left while she pushes. Her legs wobble uncontrollably as her hand tightens around Neal's, crushing every bone in the process. She wails as tears tumble into the oblivion and she mentally screams for the pain to be over.
"Keep going," the doctor commands as an abnormal amount of pain slices between her shaky legs.
Emma screams even louder, the sound bouncing off the walls, but she doesn't even notice as she keeps praying for this moment to be over. Then, her body slumps back as a weight is alleviated from her throbbing core.
The wonderful sound of a newborn cries fill the air and everything around Emma stops. The doctors and nurses working diligently beside her vanish and all that's left is that beautiful baby. She vaguely recalls the doctor announcing its a boy. She refused to learn the sex of the baby because she knew deep in her heart that she couldn't keep him and that would only make things so much harder in the end.
Her tear soaked eyes follow the newborn from one set of arms to another. The baby is wrapped tightly in a soft blue blanket and handed off to another set of arms. She's lost. She has always been lost in life, but this particular moment outweighs every single time she has felt lost. She swallows against the soreness from screaming her head off and stares at the baby she created.
He's so beautiful, how could I ever abandon him? He's so helpless, how could I ever think it would be okay to raise him in a car? He deserves so much more. He deserves the world. He's deserves a home, a crib, food, diapers, warm clothes, blankets and toys. So many toys.
"Emma," Neal coos as he bounces their newborn in his arms. "He's so beautiful. Look how adorable he is. He has your nose and chin." Her boyfriend is absolutely enthralled with their son to even notice the torture ripping through her chest right now. "Here baby, I know you're dying to hold him." Neal leans over the bed and offers the small child to his girlfriend, but she's not reaching out to accept her baby boy. "Emma," Neal says with an edge in his voice to wake her from her horrid thoughts.
"I-" Emma viciously whips her head back and forth. "I-I can't. No," she strains to say as hot thick tears burn a path down her rosy cheeks.
"What do you mean you can't?" Neal inquires, baffled by his girlfriend's tone. "Are you in too much pain? Is something wrong?" He softly whispers as he continues to rock his son.
"No," she croaks out as her voice cracks painfully in her tender throat. "We can't keep him. He deserves so much better," she cries out and finally allows all her tears to pour down her face without any hesitation.
"Emma, what the hell are you talking about?"
"I love him so much...more than anything," her bottom lip quivers violently as she does her best to explain. "He deserves everything in life and we don't have anything to offer him."
"Baby none of that matters. We are going to be a family now. You, me..." he hesitates unsure of their son's name yet. "...and our beautiful baby boy. That's what matters. We are not going to ditch him like our parents did to us. He's ours."
"No Neal, that's not fair to him. We live in a tiny Beetle. There's barely room for us. Fuck, we don't even have a car seat for him. We can't afford one. Or diapers or formula." Emma's bloodshot eyes fall closed, squeezing out a few more tears in the process. "We can't Neal. We have to let him go. He deserves his best chance at life and it certainly isn't with us."
"Please Emma," Neal finally is starting to face reality as Emma watches his eyes fill with tears. "Please don't do this. We love him, that's all that matters. Maybe if you just hold him," he suggest hoping to persuade his heartbroken girlfriend.
"No, no. I can't. I'll never be able to do the right thing if I hold him," she cries in such agony, her boyfriend breaks and begins to weep against their newborn.
Neal refused to let his son out of his arms until social services came the very next day to take their baby away. He held his baby boy, he fed him and changed his diaper, trying to absorb as much as he could possibly take of his first born. All while Emma cried and cried to the point of exhaustion.
"I'm here for baby boy Swan," a lady in her mid thirties announces as she sweeps into the room.
Emma nods but keeps her lips sealed to lock away her heavy sobs. The woman dutifully hands over the adoption papers to Emma since Neal is pacing frantically with his son across the room.
Emma's heart plummets to her gut with a heavy thunk. She winces as the woman kindly hands over a pen for Emma to sign away her baby...her heart. The black ink, warning of the closed adoption, blurs in front of her, making the read impossible. She grits her teeth and with a trembling hand, scribbles what is suppose to be her name at the bottom of every sheet.
"Excuse me sir," the woman softly speaks for the baby's sake. "I need you to sign."
Neal nods and lifts his son closer to his lips. He presses a loving kiss to the baby's tiny forehead and cries even harder. Emma can't hear, but she watches her boyfriend's lips move, whispering something to their son. Neal slowly walks over and offers the baby to Emma, one last time, despite how many times she rejected her son in the last twenty-four hours.
Something in her mind clicks and she reaches for her son. Emma brings her beautiful baby close to her chest and examines every detail of his face.
Emma begins softly humming the sweetest lullaby she's ever known. One she used to sing to Regina when they were just babies themselves. She lightly sweeps her finger against his dimple chin and across his smooth cheeks. She memorizes his button nose and thin lips that are all her. Her finger lightly follows the dip above his upper lip as her heart swells with love. She runs her finger down his nose and traces his dark eyebrows. She lightly grazes his thin black hair before she cups the back of his head.
"I love you...Henry," she mutters against his head. She lingers and allows her warm tears to fall against his little round head. Emma peers up at the woman whose eyes are glistening with unshed tears as she watches the heartbreaking moment between mother and son. "Umm, can you tell his new parents his name is Henry?"
The lady swallows creating an audible gulp as she nods. "I think they will happily keep his name. They are a very easy going couple who are just eager to have a baby."
Emma nods and presses her lips to her son once last time. She inhales sharply, memorizing his scent and finally hands him over to the lady. Inevitably tearing apart her heart and soul.
Neal wraps his arms around Emma and holds her close as they both cry, their tears mixing as one. "We will have our chance, Emma. We will stop being such reckless fools and we will clean up our acts. We will get steady jobs and a nice home and we will build a family once again. We will fix all of this for Henry," Neal vows while Emma continues to sob against his chest.
The lady slowly exits the room with Henry tucked securely in her arms. Once she reaches the doorway, she glances back and offers one more gaze upon the baby boy, prompting Emma to whisper her final goodbyes.
"Goodbye Henry."