"I hate the feeling of helplessness. I can't stand it."
(six months later)
The next few months, Tamara made it her mission to fully invest in herself. The first thing she wanted to do was to try and make peace with her parents.
And make it clear marriage wasn't her thing.
Her mind was a complete whirlwind of thoughts. She obviously wouldn't be disowned.
But there was always going to be a but. She'd seen too many of her parents friends pay off their own kids and ask them to never speak with them again.
Even if it did come to that, she'd collected all the legal documents that belonged to her.
She'd have enough to get a decent place downtown.
Standing outside her father's study. Pacing up and down. How would she even start it.
"Oh hi Dad, I'm just here to tell you your expectations of me are way too high. Why on earth are they still that high? I was literally involved in a club shoot out. Lower them, k thnx bye."
Or maybe..
"Hello father. I'd just like to say that I do not have any intentions of fulfilling the dreams you and mom have planned out for despite the fact you have sacrificed and worked hard to ensure me and Zeke can be successful."
Perhaps even..
"I do not want to be forced to marry anybody regardless if he has that has comfy income and high status!"
This was all absurd.
"You're doing that thing again." Regina said, passing by with a basket full of neatly folded clothes.
"Am not!"
"You are." Lola said.
"Maybe I just need a walk. Visit some friends. Drink some tea." She thought to herself.
First stop.
She hadn't seen Curtis in so long, so she decided to drop by and give him a gift.
Walking through the city to his apartment, she couldn't contain the excitement she had to see her old friend.
To tell him how everything at home had been going, she literally sped up the stairs and knocked on the door hurriedly.
"Okay, okay!" She heard him call out.
He looked through the locks.
"Tamara? Is that you? Why are you knocking like you're a damn police officer?"
"Guess?"
"I need confirmation." He stated.
"Ugh...okay. It's me."
"Which is?"
"Tamara Blake."
She peeked out from the flowers and gave a huge toothy smile.
Curtis rolled his eyes and opened the door.
"Are those for me?"
"Well, I only picked the sunflowers because I wasn't sure which one you liked. If you're not a flower type of guy, I got this Roy Ayers vinyl since you like him so much." She said, walking past him and placing it on the countertop.
"I like all flowers." He said, closing the door behind him and grabbing the vinyl. "How'd you know these were my favourites?"
"I listen whenever you speak to me? I guess."
She remembered that he said his mother always had sunflowers in the living room. It'd stuck in his head for life.
He pulled her in for a long hug, and she rested her head on his shoulder.
"You smell good!" She grinned as she pulled away and rested her hands on his arms. "Not that you don't smell good most of the time. Because you do."
"Yeah I started using that aftershave you bought me last time." He chuckled.
There was another knock at the door.
"Were you expecting someone?"
Curtis slowly approached the door.
"Who's the lucky girl? Or guy?" She asked, fiddling with the flowers.
He opened the door to a tall man in a tailored suit.
"Russo?" Curtis said, sounding surprised.
"Long time no see, eh Curtis?"
Curtis stared at him.
"You're not gonna invite me in?"
"Sorry man, my heads been everywhere at the moment."
"Really?" Billy said, puzzled. "That doesn't seem like you."
Curtis stepped aside to invite Billy indoors, and he immediately noticed the young woman who was placing the sunflowers in a vase.
"I didn't know you had company, Curtis." Billy smiled.
"Oh no I was just dropping something off. I'm on my way."
"No it's alright, Tamara. This is Billy Russo. He served with me."
"Don't forget Frank." Billy said, wistfully.
Curtis and Tamara's eyes met for a moment and then turned back to Billy.
"Who would?"
"Just came by to see you man, hadn't seen you in so long since we visited his headstone. And when you caught up with me at work."
"You know you're always welcome here."
Tamara quickly glanced at her phone and leaned against the pillar in the kitchen.
"Why don't we go to our old spot?" He asked. "Your friend can come if she wants." He said, gesturing towards her.
"Please tell me it isn't some random dive bar." She said, raising a brow as she headed towards them.
"Have you ever been to one?" Curtis asked, cocking his head. "Tamara here has been in more life and death situations than us combined. And we're both lieutenants of war."
"Is that shade Curtis?"
"More like an observation."
She rolled her eyes.
"Come on! I don't wanna go to a bar for a long time. Why don't we stay here? I can make us Bloody Marys!"
Curtis had an uneasy look on his face, Billy caught on.
"Why are you making that face?"
"The last time she tried to make something in the kitchen, they had to evacuate the block."
Billy sidled up to Tamara as she looked for some ingredients.
"Tamara, I promise you, come to the bar and I'll make sure I'll keep my eye on you. We'll leave if it gets too rowdy. Okay? Curtis told me what happened the last time you went a club."
She froze.
"You promise?"
Looking at the both of them, and they nodded. With some form of genuine in their eyes.
She let out a shaky breath and gave a strained smile.
"I'm good." She headed over to grab her coat. "I'll see you guys later, it was nice meeting you, Billy."
Curtis wouldn't stop her. He knew it would take her a long time to get used to crowds again after that.
•••
"That's her."
"A-are you sure?"
Without any warning, she immediately slammed the picture onto his face and began to scrape it against his skin.
"I'm 100% sure, Martin!" She screeched, with her eyes widened. "Are you sure?! After seeing the obvious evidence? ARE YOU SURE?!"
The other men surrounding her held their breath.
The sky was becoming orange tinted, and the clouds were a dark grey as the three headed into the town. The three girls piled into Angela's car.
She'd called up the two again. Those two would always take her mind off whenever she was stressing. And she wasn't keen on heading home just yet.
It was a relief they were headed to a pretty empty diner.
"I'm gonna head to the bathroom." Tamara said, as the three had already ordered their drinks and food.
"Knock yourself out." Angela said, sipping the shake through a straw. "These diners are much nicer than bars anyways."
Tamara obviously wasn't going to use the sketchy toilets. She was just going to check her make up and go on her phone.
It was as gross as she thought it would be but she was only there just to check her reflection. After inspecting her eyelashes for a moment or two, she noticed she wasn't alone.
There was a shuffle coming from one of the stalls, but the person soon came out. It was a slim older woman.
She was quite tanned, and had a long jet black ponytail that reached her hip. But there was something quite unsettling about her.
Heading over to the sink and running her hands underneath the taps. There was steam coming from the sink but it was like she didn't even flinch.
Tamara looked at her carefully in the corner of her eye as she reapplied some lip gloss.
"Now, aren't you a gorgeous looking girl!" She grinned at Tamara, showing all her teeth. Which was slightly unnerving.
"I uh, thank you."
"I can see why my son picked you." She said.
"I don't understand? W-who's your son?" Tamara questioned, in a cautious tone. It was strange. The way she was looking at her was creepy too. As if she was looking right into her soul.
Her hand reached out to Tamara's and slid onto her wrists, clamping around them.
"Yes my son, Tamara. And I think you know what happened to my son. That's why I wanted to come get you myself."
As she said this, her voice was becoming more and more uneasy. Her nails were beginning to dig into Tamara's skin.
"You're hurting me." Tamara said firmly and pulled away. "What the fuck is your problem lady? Weirdo."
She quickly walked away but there was two towering men blocking the entrance of restroom.
Her eyes widened in realisation.
She quickly whipped her head around to her.
"It's you. You've been tracking me down all these weeks.."
She raised a brow.
"I might've overestimated you. If it took you this long to figure it out."
She kept on rambling, Tamara began to step back but bumped into one of the muscular men behind her.
He immediately with the other man restrained her.
"Let me go!" She screamed.
Angela and Pam had their eyes glued to the small flat screen.
"Did she leave?"
"That's not like her."
"You sure?" Pam asked. "I love her and all, but ever since Lola's gone she became a bit odd. And not seven stages of grief odd. Especially with that thing they had. So out of the blue."
"That doesn't change anything Pam. I know she hasn't talked to us in a while but that's how some people cope. By withdrawing. I'm happy she's becoming close with us again."