You
TW: mentions of blood and self harm.
im also lowkey dragging TanaCon.
yep
you heard me right.
I flew the door to our spot at the side of the school open as Connor followed behind me, gripping his left hand. The light from the hallway faded away as the door shut. To our surprise, no one else was here. I wasn't complaining, though.
Voices of other students could still be heard from the other side. Panting, I turned back to Connor.
"Well that fucking sucked." I stated, staring at his hand and kicking at the ground.
"Yea no shit!" He breathed sharply as he held his hand close to his chest.
I rubbed my shoulder, which ached from hitting the floor. "What happened to your hand? I mean, I know it got stepped on but why is it bleeding a little?"
Connor kept his eyes on his hand. "I don't fucking know..."
"You know what? It's probably a corsage pin that fell while people were literally stampeding each other."
"..Maybe." He shrugged.
Biting my lip, I glanced at the door before looking back at him. "Look, Con, just stay here and I'll get something or-"
"The nurse isn't here, Y/N!"
"Shit, Right! Okay then.. My locker's nearby, there's probably something in there that could help..."
Connor cocked an eyebrow. "What the-"
"Just stay here!" I quickly said before rushing inside.
Alrighty then, operation 'get to locker before Connor bleeds the fuck out' starts now.
"Excuse me, I'm- I'm sorry I just need to get to my.." I said as I tried to make my way past everyone.
"Look, there's Y/N."
"Ooh, the Y/N?"
"Damn, she looks good."
"Isn't she the one in the video?"
That video. That fucking video!
My hand slammed against the locker once I reached it. After unlocking it, I immediately swung it open and scanned the inside. I remembered that I kept an old school rally t-shirt in there. I never used it once, even for that stupid rally, so I kept in in there for "emergencies" or whatever.
After digging through a considerable amount of books, and thinking about how I need to get a damn shelf, I felt a slightly rough piece of white cloth and I yanked it out. My plan was to get to the bathroom and wet a part of the clothing item to clean Connor's cut.
"What the heck is that?" Someone ask behind me.
Gripping the rough white shirt, I turned to face a girl with short black hair in a long dress that tickled her toes through her sandals. "It's a white shirt."
"Well yea, I can see that...."
I rolled my eyes. "Then why'd you ask what it was?"
She said nothing in return. "Look," I sighed as they looked back up at me. "I'm sorry, a friend and I are just having a rough night."
I would've asked the same question if I was in her position.
The girl shrugged. "Understandable." Was what she last said before finding her own group.
I nodded and raced to the bathroom, praying that no one would be there.
Surprise surprise, some girls were there.
Awesome.
Don't pay attention to me, don't pay attention to me, don't look at me please, I continuously thought as I rinsed the corner of the shirt in the sink. I could literally feel their stares and it sent embarrassed shivers up my spine.
It seemed like once I exited the bathroom the whole school was in the hallway. Kicking the door to our usual spot open, I gripped the partly wet shirt and as Connor eyed me.
"'Bout time.." He muttered as I walked over. A cigarette dangled from his other hand.
"Do you wanna go in there and see how crowded that damn hallway is? It's literally TanaCon!" I exclaimed.
"You know," he began, "You're kinda cute when you're angry."
"Well I must be absolutely gorgeous then!"
Connor's eyes widened. "Let's just get this over with. Where'd you get the shirt?"
"It was in my locker." I explained as I knelt down beside him. "Can I um, see your hand?"
He held out his hand that now had traces of dried blood. I used the soaked part of the shirt to clean the mess around the cut and the cut itself before ripping a long strip of the shirt's dry end off.
"Fucking corsage pins," Connor slightly shook his head, letting out a puff of smoke. "Good thing I didn't wear one."
"Yea," I said as I concentrated and started to wrap the part of the ripped off fabric around his hand. "It's also a good thing it didn't cut any deeper."
Sighing deeply, he leaned his head back so it was touching the brick wall. Connor stared into the dark sky, something probably lingering around in his mind.
"Would that really be a bad thing?" He quietly said, his eyes lowering.
My eyes widened, remembering past scars that painted some parts of his arms. Some were even familiar. It was so obvious he didn't want us to talk about it.
I just hope he knows he can tell me anything, like I can with him.
My voice shook slightly as I finished wrapping his hand. "I'm sorry."
He glanced back at me with a confused expression. "Why the fuck are you sorry?"
"You know my luck with this type of shit! Something is bad bound to happen if it has to do with me. I always drag you into this stuff and you always have every right to say 'no' but you're now here with a messed up hand.
Connor's gaze turned sympathetic.
"Y/N-"
I gulped. "This night was supposed to go at least somewhat well. I guess this is literally gonna keep on happening to my problematic ass."
As he scooted closer, he held his wrapped up hand near his chest, where his now wrinkled and slightly lopsided tie rested. "You know what? I agree that this night could've gone better."
I listened and looked up so I met his eyes. His understanding face seemed to glisten.
"And fuck, maybe this type of shit is gonna keep happening, but here's the thing, Y/N, this whole entire situation isn't your fault. It's not your fault the blackout happened. It's not your fault a lot of us got hurt."
Fiddling with a loose part of my outfit, I sighed. "I know it's not my fault and all that I guess, but who knows? This might keep happening and I'm gonna keep dragging you into this.."
My voice trailed off as Connor's boomed.
"Y'know, to be honest Y/N, I don't fucking mind if you keep on 'dragging me into stuff like this' because I'M WITH YOU!"
Nothing else came from me. Connor then allowed me to lean on his shoulder, my hand still around his. I could hear our steady breaths despite the ruckus inside the building.
"Connor, I'm still sorry..."
As he pulled on and loosened his tie, he finally said. "It's alright, let's just have our prom night right here."
Letting myself smile, I whispered, "I guess I'm okay with that."
I knew he was smirking as he looked down at me. "You guess?"
"I know."
There was a soft breeze that calmly washed over us. Would it stay like this or will it rain? Will it just be us here or is someone gonna find out about this place and barge in?
Will I ever stop feeling guilty about this?
No matter what, these thoughts never seemed to go away. But somehow, for some reason, they didn't bother me this time. I couldn't ignore them, but they didn't get to me.
"Why are you so good to me, Connor?" I asked as I chuckled.
"Because I fucking love you."
Connor and I just sat there, blocking out the noises from the inside of the school and staring up into the infinite sky. We felt like we could watch it forever.
Everything was peaceful, nice, beautiful even.
Yea, that's the right word.
Everything was beautiful.
Absolutely beautiful.
A/N: this feels so rushed im sorry-
i might be taking another hiatus but i'll probably say something on my profile
so.. hope you enjoyed this one :)