▀▄▀▄▀▄ thirty five ▄▀▄▀▄▀
it had been approximately six months since yoongi started having feelings for jimin.
and he couldn't really take keeping it a secret anymore. he had to at least tell jimin if there was even a sliver of a chance that jimin felt the same.
it was currently nine o'clock at night, and jimin was out on a friendly date with jeongguk. they were still just friends, and jimin was sure it wouldn't evolve to more. he kept saying that he didn't have the same feelings as before.
he told yoongi that jeongguk realized why he kept cheating on people.
jimin told him it was because jeongguk never really understood the consequences or had the right priorities. and when jimin "broke his heart" by leaving so abruptly, or the look on his face jeongguk caused himself, it made him realize he had to stop.
that made yoongi laugh. why was jeongguk playing the victim? why did it take him two heartbreaks from the same person man to realize what he was doing was wrong?
jeongguk was probably still the same, luring jimin back in a different way by saying he just wanted to be friends and that he was better.
but he trusted jimin. jimin seemed positive that he no longer had feelings for jeongguk, so he believed him.
he trusted jimin. not jeongguk. and he knew how easily manipulated jimin was. that was his problem.
jimin said they were only getting dinner, so he should be back soon.
yoongi was laying on his bed, luna and dauby on both sides of him. dauby was purring, and luna was sprawled out on her back as yoongi rubbed her stomach. yoongi was watching netflix on his tv.
jimin had gotten him into a few shoes, so he would watch them alone in memory of the younger.
he yawned. he was beginning to feel a bit tired. but he wanted to wait for jimin.
he had to tell him today that he loved him.
suddenly, he heard his back door open. it must be jimin coming home.
he waited a little bit for jimin to join him in their shared bed (they cuddled a lot) but he never came.
he stood up. he would just meet him in the kitchen instead.
he quietly made his way to the kitchen, letting out another yawn.
he paused. he heard something.
it sounded like a small thud.
and a noise he knew all too well.
he continued, and the sight before him was enough to break him.
jimin was seated on yoongis counter, his fingers curled into the back of jeon jeongguks hair as the younger kissed him. jeongguks hands were placed on jimins thighs, bringing him closer.
the kiss wasn't as lustful as yoongi was used to with jimin.
jimin wasn't letting out noises of pleasure. yoongi was at least a little thankful for that.
but he couldn't watch anymore. he turned around, and he was gone as soon as he had appeared.
he returned back to his room, turning off his television and stripping down to his boxers, putting on pajama pants afterwards. he turned all of his lights and got into his bed.
he wanted to be asleep before jimin joined him.
meanwhile..
jimin suddenly pulled back from jeongguk. their kiss had been slow and careful; something he wasn't used to with jeongguk.
"we shouldn't be doing this right now," jimin whispered.
"i-i know, but why?" jeongguk asked. he backed up a bit.
"because i just don't trust you, not yet," jimin said.
"i'm sorry," jeongguk sighed.
jimin didn't know this, but you do now. jeongguk really did change. it didn't take much. just the pure look of sadness that he saw on jimin was enough.
jeongguk swore to himself he would never cheat on anyone ever again. after he realized what he was missing the second jimin was gone, he made that promise.
even if he wanted to, he wouldn't. he would at least make sure he was single if he wanted to get with someone.
even if it was just as asshole-y to leave someone for somebody else, it was a step forward. he hoped, to himself, that he'd be able to be loyal to one person and one person only.
that's what he wanted, if he was honest. and he truly wanted jimin back, but he understood that he couldn't trust him. especially after the last two and a half years.
"but maybe we can just take it slow?" jeongguk stepped forward. he entertained their fingers.
"i'll have to think about it, jeongguk. but we have to stay friends for now, or maybe forever. not until i know i can trust you again," jimin advised.
"do you think you'll ever be able to trust me again?" jeongguk asked. "it would mean so much."
jimin thought jeongguk didn't deserve his trust. but he was a nice person.
"maybe, jeongguk. but for now i can't be with someone i can't trust." jimin whispered.
"you're looking to be with somebody?" jeongguk asked. jimin nodded.
"i love being in a relationship, i'll be honest. but i want it to be real."
there was nothing jeongguk wanted more than to promise to jimin that what they would have again would be real. he wanted jimin to believe him when he told him he'd changed.
he did, really. jimin was constantly on his mind. he tried to think about somebody else, but he couldn't. he'd had sex with a couple guys to resort back to his old self because he wasn't used to loving jimin and only him, but he couldn't. he stopped what they were doing halfway through because he'd imagined the look on jimins face the day he left.
he tried to be himself and mess around with random people, but he couldn't. it felt as if he was cheating on the boyfriend he didn't have, and it started to hurt.
he knew that this was no excuse and he shouldn't be forgiven for what he did, but he knew how forgiving jimin was.
but he would never use that to his advantage.
he came to a quick decision. he would do things at jimins pace, even if it didn't end up where he wanted it to.
"we can take this- whatever you want this to be- at your pace," jeongguk said. jimin smiled.
"i really can't promise i'll be able to trust you again, jeongguk. i think i have feelings for somebody else," jimin whispered.
jeongguks smile fell.
"but i'll be honest, it'll take me a while to lose even all the subconscious feelings i have for you. so don't lose hope. a small part of me wants to be with you, but the rest of me doesn't want to listen to that part," jimin explained.
"okay. i'll try to win you back, jimin. but i won't hurt you in the process. if i realize there's no hope for us, i'll stop trying," jeongguk said.
jimin nodded.
"i just want you to be happy, 'min," jeongguk said.
did jimin believe him?
"thank you," jimin gave him a small smile.
"can we meet up again? and hang out? i promise i won't kiss you again," jeongguk laughed.
jimin did the same.
"it's okay, jeongguk. i didn't really mind. we can make plans another time," jimin said. jeongguk nodded.
he stepped back and grabbed his phone. he was getting ready to leave.
"wait, jeongguk," jimin grabbed his hand.
jeongguk looked at him.
"can you just kiss me, one last time?"
jimin couldn't help himself. the sane part of him was over jeongguk. but the subconscious part still missed his kisses.
but jeongguk swore to himself he wouldn't take advantage of jimin. or anyone, ever again.
he stepped forward, his hands covering jimins ears lightly. he kissed the top of his head.
"night, jimin," he mumbled, and then he was gone.
jimin sighed, sliding off the counter. he turned off all the lights on his way to yoongis room.
when he got there, he kicked off his shoes and stripped down to his boxers. he slipped on a pair of basketball shorts.
he slid under the blankets next to yoongi, who was still awake. he could tell by his breathing.
"yoongi," he said softly.
jimin felt panicked. was he going to have to force himself to trust jeongguk again just so he didn't hurt his feelings?
yoongi hummed in response.
"i want a hug," jimin mumbled. yoongi sighed. he turned around anyway, bringing jimin into his arms. his motherly instincts would always kick in with jimin.
jimin sighed.
"are you okay?" yoongi asked softly.
"i am now," he mumbled. he wrapped his arms around yoongi.
"what happened, beautiful?"
what did jimin even have to be upset about? he looked like he was enjoying himself as he kissed jeongguk.
"can i tell you tomorrow? i'm really sleepy," jimin said. he sounded drowsy already.
"okay," yoongi said, and jimin quickly dozed off.
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