Chapters 21 & 22 are new and have been published today 6/28 message me if you can't see 21.
Down the hall and all the way down the stairs I ran with tears in my eyes. I pushed passed the big doors at the entrance of the orphanage and barged into the heavy rain relishing in it as if it were washing away my worries. I had heard Tom asking where I was going alarmed when I left the room, I know he'll come after me. I made my way beneath a large tree to shield me from the rain and to hide me from Tom. I sat on the wet ground alone, and motionless listening to the harsh rain hit the ground. My mind was clear and I had no worries for a split second as I sat under the tree starring out at the rain. I was the old Roslyn again, before I was a wife or a mom. Before I was tangled up in the dark lord's web. I felt like I was free again and young. I had begun to feel so old with my new duties as a wife and mother. There was no more outings with friends or anything of that nature. No more fun carefree moments, just responsibilities and stress. Sometimes I wish I was the old Roslyn again, and then I think of them. The sweet faces of my babies....and the stoic face of him.
I was soaking wet at this point, it was easy to forget the tears that never stopped falling onto my cheeks. I had been holding all of my feelings in and with this latest annoying installment of my life it all came crashing down. I love my children so much, but there are times when I see girls having fun so young and free, and I envy them. I wonder what I would be doing in the future if this had never happened to me. I wanted to be a model, or a singer, maybe even an actress, but those were all distant dreams now. I feel like I'm not a real person anymore, like I'm not aloud to have hopes or dreams. I just want to be free to be who I am. I want to be happy, is that too much to ask? I want a husband who loves me unconditionally, and I want to raise my kids in a safe home full of love. How did I deal with my emotions before this whole ordeal? I used to sing my heart out, I would've made it big. The ghost of a smile appeared on my lips as I recalled all of the wide open opportunities that I had in the future. Maybe my parents would've had me marry Draco, and him and I would've been able to raise a family later on in life but I still would've been able to achieve my dreams. All I know is that I had a life and it was far from perfect, but all in all I was happy.
No matter how I pictured alternate realities I felt like something was missing; and I couldn't figure it out. I racked my brain for an answer but no matter my thoughts about the future I couldn't make out what I lacked. I couldn't create a happy future without........it finally hit me. I can't even fathom a happy, fulfilled future without my husband, Tom Marvolo Riddle; the darkest wizard of all time. I couldn't understand this conclusion I came up with. He may be the father of my children but I can't remember us growing a strong romantic bond together but the reality of it is... ...I don't know if I could live my life without his constant convictions, judgmental yet humorous attitude, confusing riddles, hilarious wise cracks, his adorable lack of knowledge about love and friendship that makes him me want to show him exactly what they are, his understanding and listening skills, his intelligence, and his alluring personality as a whole. Everything about him draws me in from the good all the way to the bad. I want to explore his darkness like an invitation to paradise. I want him to be mine fully with every fiber of my being. We may be husband and wife but I couldn't feel more romanticly separated from him as I do now. Our undeniable bond is something other than romance, something equally important but even stronger. We may be married but this is truly the first time I've realized my true feelings for him, and how much I truly need Tom in my life for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health till death do us part. I want him and that's all that matters, I don't care if we're living in a box, I am his and he is mine; and I trust him. Money doesn't matter, nothing does except for our relationship with eachother and with our children. I know of his impressive perseverance, and extraordinary determination and I would be a fool to doubt him when I know what he can do. He is the dark lord and no matter how you put it he always comes out ontop.
I know what he's capable of and for that reason I sprung up from my hiding place and ran towards the entrance of the orphanage to see Tom stepping outside. A small smile jumped onto my lips as I happily ran in his direction. He only spotted me as my lips collided with his and our embraces intertwined. "I'm sorry," I muttered just as his lips responded so gently surprising me with his easy reciprocation of my devotion to him. In the pouring rain we kissed, and for the first time I truly accepted him as my husband, and I think I may even be in love with him, and it's irrevocable and beautiful and so very unexplainable.
I didn't notice we had been backing up until I was fully shielded from the rain and inside the orphanage. Roughly my back collided with the cold, hard wall. His body pressed against mine providing warmth and a pair of lips to move in sync with mine. He never questioned my actions but instead reciprocated them right away, and invested just as much feeling as I did. Neither of us made an effort to close the doors as I slowly slipped off his navy blue jacket. My body seemed to have a mind of it's own as I engaged in the first act of intimacy that Tom and I had ever shared. I ran my fingers through his wavy hair as his hands were planted firmly on my hips. Just as he slid them up to the straps of my nightgown and timidly began to pull them down a loud sound came from down the hall causing us to pull apart. Perhaps we were being loud because the next thing I knew the troll's voice sounded out. Tom and I were still in each other's embrace as she yelled. "Who's out here?!" My heartbeat accelerated as if it could get any faster than it was when I was kissing Tom. I looked at him with fear in my eyes as I was afraid of what she would do if she found us like this.
He assessed the situation immediately as I felt him quickly pull me behind an open door to a closet, and then deeper inside to hide behind the thick mass of coats. We stayed completely still as she searched the hallways for the 'intruder'. I held my breath as I turned in Tom's embrace resting my head on his chest. I felt his arms snake around my waist tighter as we remained tightly tucked into the corner of the closet. My body was shaking in his arms from the cold chill that surrounded us. His hands slowly trailed up my exposed arms to provide warmth of which I was so glad for. Suddenly I remembered something. "Your jacket," I whispered to him remembering it had fallen to the ground in our fit of lust. "Forget it," he said quietly. "No, your name is sewn into it," I told him fearing he'd get into trouble. "It doesn't matter." I'll be damned if they kick him out for this leaving the children and I here alone. "Whatever happens to you happens to the kid's and I too," I said quickly as I heard Ms.Cole walk down the other way. I took this time to pull forward out of Tom's grasp slipping out of our hiding place. Tom dashed to grab me back as I quickly slipped out of the closet and grabbed the deep blue corduroy jacket of the ground. I quickly creeped back in the closet accidentally hitting one of the buttons on the door making it echo. Just as I entered Tom grabbed me, covering my mouth so he could keep me completely silent.
I breathed through my nose still trying to keep completely still. "I hear you I know you're here. Come out now or punishment will be worse." Goodness lady I'm literally just trying to get down to business with my husband, is that so bad? Tom slowly backed us up into the corner of the closet again as she made her way closer to where we were. I heard her right outside the closet and I scooted closer to Tom if that was even possible at this point. "Whoever is in there come out now!" The door creeked open wider as she walked in. Her flashlight illuminated the small closet making me think we were done for.
We couldn't use magic at any point, both of us knowing that it could screw up our chances of living here. Just as she began to step forward I heard a loud sound coming from upstairs. It was the babies crying for us. I saw her clearly as she stepped out searching for the source. "Damned kids," She spat as she realized what it was. I exhaled as she walked off, saved by cranky babies. Tom released his hold on me finally and we both slowly exited the closet. "Where did she go?" I whispered as I took a look around. "I'm not sure," Tom said as he gently pushed me in the direction of the stairs. That's when I heard the creaky step on the third floor stairs, it always echoed when stepped on, that's when I had a realization. "She's going to our room." I told him realizing we were still in high water. The twin's cries still echoed from upstairs as Tom quickly dragged me back down stairs. I was afraid for us but I could tell my husband had a plan by the look of determination on his face. I watched as he went to the kitchen and proceeded to slide his hands behind an enormous glass china cabinet before pushing it down with all his might shattering it, creating a loud noise that carried throughout the whole building. An annoyingly shrill giggle escaped my lips, and I became even more attracted to Tom for some odd reason as he quickly ran over to me grabbing my hand leading me towards the back of the orphanage where the play rooms were. Giggles continued to escape my lips as we ran away from the scene of the crime, it was almost like we were normal teenagers running from the danger we caused with our foolish shenanigans. For a few minutes we were just a couple of foolish troublemakers risking it all for some stolen kisses in the dark. The Troll's heavy footsteps and loud yells arose into the night air as she made her way to the source of the sound. Children began to descend the stairs to see what the commotion was. In the middle of the mess Tom and I sneakily made our way back to our room and I was finally able to breath freely again.
I kinda laughed a little at the mess we just caused and a small smile made it's way onto Tom's face too. "You know I'm gonna have to clean that up right?" I asked as I walked over to the cribs of the wailing babies. "No you won't," He said simply as I began calming the kids down. "Why are you so sure about that?" I asked him. "I have taken the liberty of filling out the paperwork for us to have an outing tomorrow morning," He said surpriseing me. "Really, where to?" I asked trying to hide my excitement. "Anywhere you want." The babies quieted down seeing that we were here. The commotion from downstairs echoed through the walls both amusing me and annoying me at the same time. "What's the occasion?" I asked him not expecting anything of that sort at this point. "Can't I take my family out once in awhile?" He asked with humor in his voice. I loved it when he called us his family. "Well yes but-" he interrupted me. "And to celebrate my very first pay check." My brows rose with interest as he pulled out a wad of cash. "Uh wow are you sure you're not working a corner instead?" I asked sarcastically, confusing him making me laugh a little. "Never mind how did you make so much in such a short time?" Maybe this would work out after all. "Being good at my job with commission. We will be out of here soon enough." I smiled excitedly at his words. "I'm truly sorry for ever doubting you." I said honestly. "You're always reasonable," He said waving off our disagreement from earlier. It wasn't as awkward as I thought It would be as we got ready to go to sleep, and that night we held eachother longer and closer than we ever had before. Then I had a thought.
Hold on... I think we almost had sex tonight.
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So there's two chapters there for you guys. Thanks for waiting so patiently on updates. Everything is just perfect for the time being so the normal update schedule is officially back on. More to come very soon! Please remember to vote and comment because I love hearing from you guys.
All my love
-Alana Darlyn