Mr Sullivan said that , despite me having to move out , the opening statements had gone very well .
“The fact that the judge wants us to use one of the bigger courtrooms is a good sign” He said enthusiastically , “It means he wants space to bring in as much witnesses as possible , to hear as much points of view as possible , to help him with his decision . Which means that he hasn't got a clue what to do and we're all on equal ground !”
A cheer went around Alex and Rian's living room at this , but despite that everyone was thinking the same thing .
Equal isn't winning .
Alex and I sat on the smallest sofa , squashed up together , not that either of us minded . It seemed to be unwritten rule between both of us that during this night , which could possibly be the last night I would ever spend in this house , we would always be close to each other , and if possible , touching . Right now our knees were bumping off each other , and our sides pressed against the other's two . It was comforting , feeling Alex's body against mine .
When Vinny and Nikki arrived with Chinese food everyone dived in pretty quickly . We were using anything as a distraction from the fact that I wouldn't be here tomorrow – so food fit the bill pretty neatly .
“Boiled or fried rice , Hazel ?” Rian offered .
I shrugged . “Give me a little of both .”
He chuckled . “Rebel .”
I laughed . “I can't help it if I'm a natural born daredevil .”
Jack , being Jack , started a chicken ball fight .
“I'm coming for you , Vinny !”
“Not if I get you first !”
“How about I just do this ?” Sam suggested , before grabbing two handfuls of prawn crackers and chucking the food at both of them .
Needless to say , that ground floor got messed up pretty quickly . Once it got past eleven Alex and Rian kicked everyone out , claiming that Pommie and I needed our sleep .
“Alright , alright , we're going” Jack said , as he and Sam got into his car .
“I never did ask how exactly Jack got his licence” I told Alex as they drove off . He laughed .
“He slept with the driving instructor .”
I laughed . “God , I love Jack .”
Alex smiled . “Seriously though , Jack isn't as bad a driver as everyone seems to think .”
“Yeah , it's Alex who gets all the road rage”Rian teased . Alex rolled his eyes .
“Halo , Pommie , you might want to go to bed . This could get ugly .”
I couldn't sleep , no matter how I turned my head or where I bent my legs . My eyes stayed persistantly open , my mind buzzing . I thought about Richard , my birth father , and Alex , my new one . I thought about how amazing just these months with Alex had been , and how I was grateful to have spent time with him at all .
I remembered when Cait , my old foster mother had told us which band was coming to look at us . I went to my room and looked at Steven's old CD's , So Wrong It's Right being one of them . I remembered the photo of the band ; all in their underwear . I smiled , getting slowly sleepier . Oh , Alex .
I woke up to Pommie shaking me gently .
“Hazel , Hazel” She whispered urgently .
I grunted . “What is it ?” I asked groggily .
“The lady downstairs … she's come to take you away .”
Suddenly I was wide awake . “Thanks Pommie” I said , and didn't bother even brushing my hair . I raced downstairs , and skidded to a halt in the hallway . Alex stood with the woman , arguing with her .
“Just come back in a few hours” He pleaded , “Halo – I mean , Hazel , isn't even awake yet . We haven't packed or anything .”
“I think you'll find that your mistaken on that aspect” The woman said gesturing to me . Alex spun around .
“Halo , I didn't think you were awake” He said , before raising his eyebrows and beginning to smile . “Nice shirt .”
I looked down and blushed , folding my arms over the A.W.G. Logo . “Shut up , okay ? Vinny gave it to me for working at the merch stand one night .”
Alex nodded . “Yeah , it's not like you asked for that one in particular or anything ...”
I rolled my eyes .
“Um , excuse me ?” The lady at the door said , “Not to interrupt or anything , but I'm on a schedule and we've got to leave soon ...”
“Sure , just let me pack my stuff , okay ?” I said , trying to be as pleasant as possible . She nodded , satisfied .
“Would you like some tea or something , Ma'am ?” Rian offered politely from behind us , and she smiled .
“That would be lovely” She said , and Rian led her to the kitchen .
Alex followed me to my room , and we began raiding the closets and packing away my clothes .
“You don't have to be brave , you know” Alex said softly , “If you need to cry , then just let it out . It's okay .”
“No , Alex” I replied , “I can't be weak , you heard what Mr Sullivan said last night .”
“Yeah , he said that we're on equal ground .”
“Exactly . As in we're not winning .”
Alex frowned . “Well , we're not losing either .”
“That doesn't mean that they're losing ! But the point is , if we want to fight we have to stay tough .”
“You don't have to be tough” Alex argued .
“Well , this whole thing is about me , isn't it ?” I replied .
“Yeah , but -”
“Alex , it's not really that important “ I dismissed .
“No , wait” Alex said . “Stop packing . This is the last time I'm going to see you for two days , if we're going to talk about this we need to do it now .”
I sighed . “Fine . Maybe I'm sick of being weak and shit .”
“Halo -”
“No , let me finish . Maybe I'm sick of having no choices .”
“You have choices !”
“Really ? Did I choose for my father to leave ? Did I choose for my mother and brother to die ?”
“No , but -”
“I can't remember the last time I made a decision by myself ! Your not even letting me do it now ! All you say to me about this is that it's going to be okay , and you know you've never once asked what I wanted to do ?”
“Halo -”
I didn't know where all of this angst was suddenly coming from , all I knew was that I was in tears , but kept yelling at Alex all the same .
“You chose to be adopted !” Alex yelled in return .
“You never even bothered telling me why you adopted me !” I screamed , “Why you chose me ! I asked you , but you – you just -”
“Just what ? Just what , Hazel !” Alex shouted .
I stayed silent , but he didn't .
“I got to make a choice when I adopted you , but I'm starting to think that I made the wrong one ! That I made a mistake – no , that you're a mistake ! Your dad thought so , he left , and guess what , I think so too !”
I couldn't think of anything to say , so I shoved him . Hard . He wasn't expecting it , and toppled over , tripping on a few t-shirts and crashing into a piece of furniture . He cried out , his face scrunching up in pain .
I stood , staring at his crumpled body , afraid to move .
The bedroom door burst open , and the foster mother burst in .
“What on earth is going on in here ? We heard raised voices downstairs -” She cut off when she caught sight of Alex . “Dear God … What happened ?”
Alex winced as he tried to stand up . “Nothing … It doesn't matter” He mumbled between groans .
“Don't be silly Alex , of course you matter” I said harshly .
“Halo , wait !”
But I was already running .
It felt like I'd been there for hours by the time that Rian found me . I sat on the grassy hill , all around me thick with evergreen trees .Only at the peak of this hill was it covered purely with grass and fluffy dandelions . I sat facing the one side that wasn't covered in forest – the side that looked down upon Baltimore . From here , I could just about see our house , but I didn't want to look there and remember the stupid and reckless argument that I had started .
“Hey” Rian said softly , as he crept up behind me . I sighed , and laid back against the soft grass to stare up at the sky .
“I'm an idiot” I confessed . “I'm such a fucking idiot .”
“Yeah , I know” Rian said , sitting down beside me .
“Thanks .”
He chuckled . “I'm kidding . Yeah , Hazel , you acted like an idiot . But that doesn't make you one .”
“You think ?” I said , and he nodded .
“Totally . And as well as that , I think it's good that you and Alex fought . There was obviously some stuff that you needed to get out of your system , and it's good that you did that .”
I frowned . “No , Ri , it's not … It wasn't Alex's fault …. I just took it out on him for no reason and … Please , Ri , is he okay ?”
“Who , Alex ? He's … Well , why don't you come see for yourself ?”
I sighed . “I can't . He probably hates me now .”
Rian laughed . “Jeez , Hazel , I have to say … you're great at blowing things out of proportion . You guys had one little fight . Of course he doesn't hate you .”
I bit my lip . “When we were fighting , he called me Hazel .”
Rian frowned . “So ? That's kinda your name , you know ...”
I rolled my eyes . “Duh . But , that's not it .”
“What is it , then ?”
I sat up and looked Rian in the eyes . “It's that he's never called me Hazel ,not once . I'm always ...”
“Alex's Halo” Rian finished , nodding . “I wouldn't worry about that Hazel . When Alex gets angry he tends to just yell the first thing that comes out of his mouth .”
I nodded slowly . “Yeah , I guess .”
Rian frowned . “What else ?” He asked carefully .
I sighed . “I'm just … mad at myself , because I yelled at Alex when he didn't do anything . I was just angry because ...”
“Because ?” Rian prompted .
I bent my head . “I thought lightening doesn't strike twice .”
Rian was silent for a minute . “You mean about ...”
“My family getting taken away from me again” I finished gloomily . Rian wrapped an arm around me and pulled me into his chest .
“I know Hazel , it sucks .”
“So fucking much” I whispered , feeling like I was about to cry again .
Rian sighed . “But we'll protect you from the lightening , Hazel . I promise .”
I smiled into his shirt .
“Do you want to go see Alex know ?” Rian asked .
“You sure he's not mad ?” I checked , and he shook his head .
“He could never be mad at you . But Jack's pretty pissed that you beefed up his best friend .”
“Wait” I said suddenly , “How did you know I would be here ?”
Rian chuckled . “Simple” He shrugged , “This is where Alex comes when he's stuck for a song .”
I frowned . “And ?”
“And you , Hazel , are exactly like Alex .”
A/N - Two chapters in two days . You guys are so spoiled :P