sorry for what's about to happen ...
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Chapter twenty-nine
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// Camber //
It's been two weeks already, and Calum only has one more week until they pull the plug. I want him to wake up, everything just isn't the same anymore. Luke, he isn't the same, no not anymore. He's constantly out late, drinking, getting into fights and sleeping around, it's just not like him at all. Then there's Ashton, he just now started smoking and is in the habit of doing it every single day. Michael, he's been quiet and it worries me the most, he's always in his room and when he comes out his eyes are bloodshot and his cheeks all puffy, I see him rub his arms a lot and he tells me mosquitos bit him. Other then that he's not doing much unless he's with Rosie, but that's the only time he'll talk.
We all argue constantly, almost everyday and it's not healthy for Bentley to be around all this stuff either, so I asked Avery if she'd watch him, she has been for the past two weeks, I'll go visit but he doesn't come home with me. I just want him safe, that's all.
Calum was the person to hold everything together. Now that he's not here, there's no one to hold all of us together, no one to brighten the mood anymore, the house is completely depressing. If you're in a bad mood, you snap at anyone near you.
"Move." I heard Luke mumble as he bumped shoulders with Michael. I was sitting at the table enjoying my Pepsi.
"Watch where you're going Hemmings!" Michael snapped. Luke laughed at him and continued on.
"Next time get out of my way!" Luke hissed. Michael's jaw tightened as he turned around and pushed Luke to the floor.
"Stop being a dick Luke, I'm sick and tired of you, sleeping around, getting drunk all the time, stop it!" Michael snapped at Luke. He got up holding his hand to his head.
"Me stop! What about you Michael," Luke fired back, "I know what you're doing, does Rosie? Does Camber?" He questioned. Michael's eyes grew wide as his facial expression dropped. "That's what I thought." Luke grinned to himself.
"Why are you such a dick now, Luke?" Michael asked him. No sooner did Ashton come downstairs, "And you, why are you smoking, you never have before so why start now?" Michael questioned Ashton.
"What I do isn't really any of your business now is it Michael?" Ashton snapped at him. Usually Ashton isn't the one to snap at anybody unless they deserved it.
"I care about you guys, why are you doing all of this recently, huh?" He asked again.
"Calum has a week left Michael, one fucking week and then he's gone. When that happens I'll be joining him too, weather I overdoes on drugs or not, I'll do whatever it fucking takes to be with Calum again, my brother!" Luke yelled as angry tears rolled down his face.
"Our brother Luke," Michael corrected him, "He's going to wake up, guys have some faith for crying out loud." Michael said.
"I know you aren't talking, have faith, what have you been doing since we found out two weeks ago, huh Michael!" Ashton raised his voice, "I know what you've been doing, so don't point fingers at others when you're doing something just as bad." Ashton said. My stomach dropped as I listened to this conversation, it made me sick.
"Face it Michael, he isn't waking up and time is running out, he's gone, and in a week I'll be gone too." Luke said. That made my stomach turn even more.
"As will I Michael, face it, what's a world without Calum?" Ashton said. This whole time I was quiet and kept my mouth shut, but I couldn't stand listening to them talk about this anymore.
"Please," I cried out, "Stop. Don't talk like that you guys, I'm still here, and so is Bentley, we'll need you guys." I said as tears streamed down my face.
"Bentley's just a reminder of what we don't have anymore." Luke mumbled.
"It's not my fault he looks like him okay." I said.
"But it's your fault that you fucked Calum isn't it?" Ashton said bitterly.
"Ashton, stop." Michael said defending me.
"Shut up Michael, I'm talking to Camber, not you." He shot back to Michael.
"You're being mean, knock it off," he said. "Come on guys, what are we doing, look at us. We're a mess, you can't give up on Calum, he's still alive I know it." Michael said trying to be positive.
"And what if you're wrong, Michael, then what?" Luke questioned. "See you don't think Michael, he isn't waking up, we've given him time, and it's about to be up." Luke said. He was the one telling me two weeks ago to stay positive and look at him now.
"Stop bringing his hopes down, Luke, come on, deep down you know Calum will wake up, you just don't want to admit it." I snapped at him.
"Oh Camber, deep down I know he won't wake up, he's getting paler and paler each and every day." Luke said, "He's dying Camber, snap back to reality, your world isn't so perfect now, now is it?" Luke snapped.
"When he dies, I go with him. I'll do a shit load of drugs if it kills me." Ashton spoke up.
"I know what Michael will do too, he's already doing it and when Calum dies Michael will make it worse for himself." Luke said pointing at Michael.
"Shut up Luke, he isn't going to die, I've tried to stop, okay.." Michael choked on his words, "It's hard to watch your brothers act different, trying to kill themselves because Calum is in a coma-"
"Just say it Michael, he's dying." Ashton said cutting him off.
"No he isn't, Ashton!" Michael yelled, "Why are you giving up on him so quickly?" He asked angrily.
"Jesus fucking Christ Michael, wake the hell up, Calum is gone, he's fucking dead!" Luke yelled becoming furious with Michael. "We all just pretend he's alive when he's not, the only thing that's keeping him alive is that fucking machine he's hooked up to! That's the only reason he's still here, we've been talking to a dead body for the past two weeks-"
"He's not dead! Stop saying that he is!" Michael cried out. I was crying too, tears running down my cheek.
"If he's not dead Michael, then where is he?" Luke fired back. Michael was quiet, he didn't say anything, "That's right, you don't know, do you!" He bit back.
"Luke enough, at least he's trying to stay positive, unlike you and Ashton who have basically given up on him!" I yelled.
"Camber you aren't in this conversation so back off!" Luke hissed at me.
"Stop being a dick!" Michael yelled, punching Luke straight in the jaw.
"What the fuck Michael!?" Luke shouted. He got up and tackled Michael to the floor, punching him, just like he did at his bar fights.
"Ashton, do something!" I yelled. He just sat there drinking a beer. "Ashton!" I yelled again.
"What am I suppose to do?" He asked. It's as if he doesn't care anymore.
"He's going to kill Michael, make him stop!" I screamed.
"We're all going to die anyways." He mumbled.
"What?" I asked. He didn't answer me
Michael was all bloody from Luke's punches. We've all argued before, about the same stuff everyday, but it never got physical like it just did.
Ashton's phone rang and he answered it, "Hello. Oh hi Dr. Williams. Oh, they did. Wait until tomorrow. Thank you, goodbye." Ashton said hanging up the phone.
"What did the doctor say?" Luke asked.
"They lost all brain activity from him last night, they are pulling the plug tomorrow." Ashton said, getting up from his seat he walked over to the door.
"Ash, where are you going?" Michael asked, getting up and wiping his bloody mouth on his shirt. He gave us a sad look then walked out the door.
"Ashton, wait!" Luke yelled after him. Swinging the door open he called for Ashton. He came back in, punching the front door. He slid down it and started to cry into his knees. "He's going to kill himself, Cam we have to do something." Luke sobbed.
"We have to go find him!" Michael said. He bent down beside Luke and hugged him. "I'm sorry I punched you. Luke, you were right, I guess Calum is gone but I'm not losing you and Ashton. Please, don't leave me." Michael said as tears fell from his eyes.
"Michael," Luke looked up at him and gave him a hug, "I could never leave you. I love you man." Luke whimpered
"I love you too." Michael whispered.
"We have to go find Ashton.." I mumbled ruining there moment. I was still thinking about what Ashton said, they lost all brain activity last night. Was he really gone? No, they must have it all wrong, he's got a week left he's still here, right?
"Camber, I'm- I'm s- so sorry." Luke choked up, getting up he wrapped his arms around me as I let my tears build up, crying into Luke's shoulder.
"H- he can't be gone.." I mumbled into his shoulder. He started to rub my back as I watched Michael sob on the floor.
"Maybe, they have the wrong person." Luke said, whimpering as he still held me into our hug.
"What do I tell Ben, he's going to be crushed." I sobbed even harder, now Michael got up and join this hug, crying into my back.
"We're here for you Cam, I was just mad, guys I'm so sorry," Luke cried, "I still believe deep down he can wake up, I do." Luke said, now trying to be positive.
"Luke, they said he loss brain activity.." Michael said quietly.
"He can still bounce back, it's Calum Thomas fucking Hood, he can fight this." Luke spoke boldly. I pulled away from the hug and looked up at Luke. His eyes bloodshot red, his cheeks rosy and puffy. "C'mon, let's go get Ash, before we are too late." Luke said as he yanked Michael and I out to the car.
Driving around for the pass hour and a half we couldn't find Ashton.
"Michael, did he answer?" Luke asked, as he kept running his fingers nervously through his hair.
"No, I've called him twenty time!" Michael said.
"Keep trying, Camber call one of the One Direction lads on my phone, here," Luke said as he handed me his phone, "Call Liam." He instructed me. Nodding I found Liam's name and called it.
It rang for awhile until he picked up, "Hello, Luke? Everything alright?" Liam asked.
"Liam, hey it's Cam," I said, "Listen, we need your help finding Ashton, he ran away and we don't know where he is." I sighed, running my fingers through my hair.
"He's here with us," Liam said in a confused voice, "He said he told you guys he was coming here."
"What?" I said, "Luke drive to the boys house." I said, Luke nodded and started his way down their road.
"We heard what happened, Cam, I'm so sorry, we are all here for you guys, okay." He said.
"Okay, we will be there in five, see you soon." I said hanging up.
We arrived at the boy, all three of us jumping out of the car and rushing in through the door- well Luke ran into the door - cursing at the pain of his nose hurting.
"God damn it, that hurt." He whined. No sooner Niall opened the door and let us in. There stood Ashton talking to Zayn, Luke ran over to Ashton jumping on him and giving him a big hug.
"I thought we we're going to lose you Ash." Luke mumbled as tears fell from his eyes. We all looked terrible already, now we'll look worse.
Ashton wrapped his arms around Luke, "You won't lose me, okay, never. I was talking shit and I don't mean it. Yes I'll be upset Calum is, gone, but I can't leave you guys, we need each other to get through this." Ashton spoke as he held Luke in for a hug.
"Uncle Haz, I can't find- mommy!" I heard a voice yell, turning around it saw Bentley trying to go as fast as he could down the stairs, running up to me and hugging me. I picked him up and held him close to me, giving him a million kissed on the cheek.
"Bentley baby, I've missed you." I said tears streaming down my face.
"I missed you too mommy," He hugged me tighter and looked down at my belly "I missed you too goose." He giggled.
"Whoa, how'd we miss your stomach Cam, are you-" Louis started but I finished for him.
"Pregnant, yes." I spoke softly.
"Oh my god, and Calum's-" Zayn started but Harry hit him on the back of the head, "Ouch.."
"Shut up Zayn.." Harry told him.
"You should all stay here, we can visit Cal tonight and tomorrow." Liam said.
"We can't go tonight," Ashton spoke quietly, "Dr. Williams said we can't visit until tomorrow.."
"I told you their system is bullshit!" Michael yelled furiously.
"Oui, we've got a three year old here Mikey." Niall said sternly.
"Sorry," he mumbled, "It just makes me mad that we can't see him cause of their dumb visitation rules." He grumbled. It doesn't make sense to me, what's the point of visiting a sick relative if you can't visit and stay awhile.
"It is stupid, I'll admit that," Luke said, "But maybe we can use the art of cuteness to let us in?" Luke smirked, looking over at Bentley.
"Oh no, don't you dare use my son for one of your devious plans Lucas." I said.
"Oh c'mon Cam, nobody can say no to him, it's bound to work." He said getting all excited.
"Luke, we will have to visit tomorrow, we don't want our privileges taken away." Ashton spoke up.
Luke groaned, "Fine." He pouted.
"Let's get ready for tonight then." Harry said, already walking over to pick out a bunch of movies.
-
It was now late and we've watched four movies already, it's about eleven at night and Bentley snuggled up with Zayn both of them passed out. Luke kept looking over probably jealous that Zayn gets Bentley and not him.
"So is it a boy or girl baby?" Louis asked out of the blue.
"We don't know, we told them to just have it be a surprise." I said, I know I don't like surprises but I want this to be one.
"Oh, well we'll all be in the waiting room the day uh-" Niall started but Michael helped him out.
"Goose, Bentley named the baby goose for now." Michael chuckled.
"Okay, the day goose is born." He smiled.
"Good, I'll need you guys, Michael," I said he turned to look at me, "I want you to stay in there with me." I said.
"How come he gets to stay in there." Luke whined.
"Because, I know Calum and him were buddies first, it makes sense to have his best friend in there if, he's not there.." I trailed off.
"Um, sure I'll be there." He said, "But there's hope Calum will be there so we don't need to discuss this right now." Michael said kicking his feet up on the table.
We all were silent as we watched the next movie Harry put in. Hours passed and now Louis, Harry, Michael, and Luke where all asleep. Leaving Ashton, Liam, Niall and I up watching more movies.
"Camber, you need some sleep, here take the couch, I've got the floor." Liam said getting up.
"Thanks," I said, "For everything."
"It's no problem. Get some rest," he said as he was making a spot on the floor to sleep, "Goodnight Camber." He said. After that I fell asleep instantly, only thinking about Calum.
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"Shh Ben don't wake your mother." I heard Michael tell Bentley.
"Okay." He whispered before giggling.
No point in trying to sleep in, waking up I looked at the time. Maybe I did sleep in, it's already noon almost one.
"Well good morning sleeping beauty." Niall smiled at me. "I made lunch." He said.
"You what? Made lunch, and the kitchen isn't messy!" I laughed.
"Very funny Cam, but Harry helped." He grinned.
"Ah, chief Styles-"
"And Horan." Niall interrupted me adding his name too.
"Eat up, we are going to see Calum around three." Louis said walking into the kitchen all dressed and ready to go.
Eating the delicious lunch Harry and Niall made me, I went upstairs to change, since everyone else was dressed and ready. Luke went to grab us clothes this morning, slipping on one of Calum's hoodies and a pair of leggings I was all set. Putting my hair up in a messy bun, sliding on the flip flops I headed downstairs.
"I'm ready." I beamed. Everyone nodded, all of us heading out the door into our separate cars.
The ride there was silent, Bentley held my hand the entire time, probably having no idea what's going on. Once we arrived we were all shaking, not sure what to expect. We all walked into the hospital heading to Calum's room, there were his parents standing outside the door crying.
"He's in there boys, only the boys that are always here, and the girl." The nurse said to us.
"What about our son?" I asked, she sighed but let me take him.
There was Calum, still hooked up to the machine but paler then he ever was. It was heart breaking just watching his lifeless body lay limp there on the hospital bed. Bentley ran over and laid with Calum just like he did last time.
"Hi daddy," he started, "I love you, and miss you. When you wake up, we can watch Monsters Inc. okay." Bentley said, if only he knew Calum wouldn't be answering.
"Bentley come with me bud, we're going to go find the boys." Luke said reaching over to Bentley, "Say, goodbye kid.." Luke mumbled.
Bentley's face was stained with tears now, either realizing what was happening or was upset he had to leave, "Goodbye daddy," he whimpered, "I'll see you soon." He said as Luke picked him up.
"Goodbye man, I love you." He choked, now leaving the room with Bentley in his arms. Leaving Michael, Ashton and I to say our final goodbyes.
"Calum," Ashton started, "You have been the best brother I could ask for, always caring about others and keeping us in line, holding us together. I miss you bro, and I don't like goodbyes," Ashton sniffled, "So I'm just going to say, see you later.." He trailed off, standing up heading over to the door. "I love you man." He said as his face was stained with tears, leaving the room.
"I guess it's my turn," Michael mumbled. "Well Calum, we've been buds for years, brothers even, and this is the hardest thing I could do. Cal you kept us all smiling and together for so long, without you, it's boring and dull. I miss you a lot, and I wish you'd come back to us, wake up, but they said you lost all brain activity. Just like Ashton said, we won't say goodbye, just see you later." Michael wiped his eyes with his shirt sleeve, getting up he hugged Calum's lifeless body, "I love you man." He cried even harder, walking over the the door about to leave. "You need me to stay Cam?" He asked, still wiping the tears from his eyes.
"No, I'm fine, I'll be out soon." I said. He nodded and left the room, leaving Calum and I alone.
I stared at him, examining his features. A busted lip, bruised cheek bone, a gash in his forehead but it's stitched up, getting up I lifted his shirt he wore, bruised ribs and lots of cuts. Leaning down I gave him a kiss on his forehead.
"Can you believe everything we've been through Calum," I started, "It's crazy. At first we hated each other and now look at us, we fell in love, had a son another kid on the way." I said, talking to him although he won't answer me back. "Remember when you wanted us to have a family bonding day, and we made the kitchen a compleat mess. Icing was everywhere, flour, we just made everything a mess." I laughed remembering that day.
"It was a day to remember," I sighed, "Then that time we got in a big fight as I left for two weeks, that's not a good memory but how you got me back, by singing a song you wrote with Bentley and performing it, the way you brought me on stage and sang it to me." I told him, with a smile on my face, "Then the boys had to tell everyone about our past, big mouths." I chuckled.
"Calum, I miss you so much, I wish you'd wake up. I miss kissing you, cuddling with you, I miss everything about you. My life isn't compleat unless you're with me. If you can hear me, find some way to wake up. I know we didn't give you enough time to wake, but we tried and now I need you to fight. Fight for your family, friends, anything, we all need you Calum, please wake up." I begged. It won't be any use, he won't wake and he can't hear me.
"I love you, I love you so much and this is very hard on me and all of us. Just like Mikey and Ash said, this isn't goodbye, Calum, it's just a see you later." I whimpered, I intertwined our fingers and gave the corner of his mouth a kiss. He was cold, as expected but a little warm as well. Untangling our fingers, I stood up and headed for the door. I heard something before my hand twisted the knob.
Beeping, I looked over at Calum still laying there lifeless. I ran out yelling for the doctor.
"Dr. Williams!"
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oops, cliffhanger, im sorry im mean i know .-.
but this chapter was sad :(
^ im so sorry !
luke, you and i man, 5 more days homie !
ill update as soon as i can. this book might have six more chapter left, im not sure it may be more :) we'll see.
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i love you all, thanks for 4k again you are all the best!
stay lovely
Nicole xx