I hardly left my room over the next several days. Aside from Clara, I preferred not to see nor speak with anyone. I wrote another letter to Freddie, pleading with him to come as soon as possible. I thought about writing to Faith, but I had no idea where she was. Besides what could she do to help, then again just being my confidant would give me someone on my side, someone aside from Leah. I felt terrible for her, Leah was knocking at my door more than anyone, begging me to take a walk with her or at least come to tea but I just did not know how to deal with anyone. I wanted to run away more than anything.
On the third day of my self-imposed seclusion I heard a rummaging in my wardrobe, "Leah, please," I implored at the doors, "I'm not up for visiting . . . " There was no answer in return, only the sound of a door closing. After several minutes I opened my wardrobe half expecting Leah to be sitting there with an apology ready, instead I found a note:
Please meet me in the sanctuary.
I felt a pang of guilt, Leah had no hand in the circumstances in which I found myself. It was cruel to shut her out completely. I pushed my dresses to the side and gently knocked on the back wall of the closet, "Okay, Leah," I said quietly, "when do you want to meet?" There were four knocks and I replied, "Alright, I'll be there at four o'clock."
* * * * *
At the appointed time I tiptoed down the hallway and made my way to the practice room, thankful that no one, not even a servant was around. I paused outside of the door, I'm not sure why . . . to listen maybe or to take some deep breaths before I entered. I gently knocked four times before I turned the knob and cautiously looked around before stepping inside. There was Leah standing in front of the window, nibbling her thumb. I let out a sigh of relief seeing her, even though she looked a little worried, "Leah, are you okay?" I asked crossing the room.
"I'm sorry, Margaret," she whimpered.
"Sorry for what?" I asked, I was still several steps from her when I heard the door close behind me. I turned to find Thomas, he must have been behind the door. "You!" I said shrilly, "I don't want to see you . . . or talk to you . . . "
"Margaret, please," he offered quietly extending a hand towards me.
"No!" I moved away from him as quickly as possible. When I turned back towards the window, Leah was gone. I looked around frantically, "Where's Leah?"
"She has more than one route," he said quietly, "will you please just stop and listen?"
"Let me out of this room!" I demanded.
"Not until you hear me out," he said firmly leaning back against the door. I stood as far from him as I possibly could, but I did not want to be cornered so I'd move from side to side, constantly at the ready and out of arms' reach. He watched me closely, a sense of regret in his eyes. "I have something for you," he said quietly. He walked to the closest crate and set a fresh bunch of violets upon it.
"What are flowers supposed to do?" I cried, wishing that Leah had at least stayed.
"Thus, by Violet's magic power, all dark shadows passed away . . . " I stood there befuddled just staring at him. "You see," he began again, "my life has been rather dark, and I found ways to cope . . . " He was pacing now, not really looking at anything as he tried to find the words.
"I am not a coping mechanism," I said with a quaver to my voice.
"Oh, no," he breathed out moving back to the crate, "that's not what I meant." He set his hands on either edge of the box and looked down at the delicate flowers, I could see his jaw clench as he put the words together in his head. "I have yet to figure out how you fit . . . "
"How I fit?" I repeated unsure of his meaning.
"Into my life," he murmured. He lifted his head slowly, barely looking at me through his eyelashes, "I know that I'm not doing well, but . . . I would like . . . "
"Margaret!" Leah called, "Margaret come quickly!" Her voice was coming from the hallway, I stepped to move to the door but I wasn't sure if I wanted to risk walking past him. He noticed my hesitation and stepped further away and nodded towards the door. "Margaret," Leah called again, her voice much closer and when I opened the door she was just about to knock.
"What is it?" I asked.
"Your brother," she panted, "he's here."
"Freddie's here?"
Leah nodded excitedly, "In the parlor, right now!"
I looked back into the practice room, Thomas was standing there looking a bit lost, but he offered an uncertain smile and nodded, it was enough to spur me to go. I hugged Leah tightly and ran to the stairs. "Freddie?" I called as I went, fighting the tears that were ready to fall.
"Magpie?" I heard his voice and it was one of the sweetest sounds I had ever heard. When I landed in the front hall, he was waiting for me with his arms open, "Are you okay?" he asked cradling me in his arms, "I came straight away."
"Oh Freddie," I cried, burying my head in his shoulder. Words failed me then and it was nothing but a slur of incoherent words as I sobbed uncontrollably.
"Excuse me," Lord Edgehill interrupted coming into the foyer, "perhaps you would like some privacy? You can use my study," he offered showing us the way.