You
Unsure of what to say or do, I sat and listened to an angry Connor. At this point, the rain started to become more rapid.
He was pissed at a lot of things, and the least I could do was just let him throw it all to me.
His voice bounced off every wall of the bus stop. "Are you sorry because you're gonna break up with me? Is that what it is?"
Not even the sound of the loud drops of rain hitting the roof could block any of this out.
Connor's upset and infuriated eyes pierced through me as I spoke. "When have I ever said that?"
His chest heaved as his voice shook stressfully. "Just because you're not 'invisible' anymore doesn't mean you can just pity me!" I saw him trying to keep his knuckles from clenching.
"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked worriedly. What was he saying? Why was he saying it?
"You really don't fucking know?"
I instantly stood up, gripping my sweater as if it would hold everything together. "I seriously have no idea what you're talking about but I never said that I was pitying you or that I'm breaking up with you," I quickly assured Connor.
He turned away and crossed his arms as I stepped out into the rain. "You don't have to, Connor, but you can tell me what's wrong or anything.."
Connor moved his soaked hair out of his face and looked down, his arms still tightly crossed. Tears spilled from his slightly red puffy eyes.
"I forgive you and I don't care about what happened," I finally said. Connor looked at me in disbelief.
"How? How can someone like you forgive me? Why would you?" His voice strained. "You know what? Forget it."
"Wait-"
I dropped my arms beside me, not knowing what to say as he quickly wiped his eyes. "I have to go," he croaked out, gripping his bicep.
"Connor please," I pleaded, stepping forward as he backed away.
"My parents are gonna give me even more shit if I don't go home Y/N," he said before running off, making it pretty clear that he didn't want me to go after him.
After he disappeared into his block, I sighed and dragged myself home.
You're so fucking complicated, you know that?
•••
I kicked open the front door after unlocking it and stepped inside, exhausted. Dad, who stayed seated on the couch, gave me an upset and worried look. "Y/N where were you?"
"I had to work late, Dad," I breathe out the lie, not expecting him to believe it. As I took off my wet sweater I caught a glimpse of a large rectangular box near the kitchen. I instantly stopped and my mind started to jump to possible conclusions. "D-Dad..?"
"Hm?"
"There's a giant box in the kitchen. Are we packing up? Are we moving or-" I began to panic a little before my Dad quickly rushed over.
"No no, Y/N, we're not," he quickly explained, "The box isn't there because we're moving. Actually, we're not going anywhere." He started to chuckle, "We're not moving. A couple things got sorted out at work so we're staying right here."
I began to laugh slightly, calming down just a little," Oh my god, okay," I sighed in relief. "That's good."
"Now you're drenched, get yourself dried and into bed."
I raced upstairs, not hesitating to do exactly that. I tore off my heavy clothes, took a brief shower, and slipped into some comfy pajamas before snuggling into bed. As usual, I couldn't get myself to sleep. How could I? Was sleep even possible at this point?
After shuffling around for countless minutes, I sat up straight and grabbed my phone on my bedside table. When I tapped the call icon my eyes immediately went to Connor's.
He's probably busy or asleep, I thought.
I had to laugh. Connor doesn't sleep early.
I listened to the dial tone impatiently, not sure what to expect. There's no way in hell I was gonna give up on him.
A couple of rings later, I was sent to voicemail.
"Dear Connor Murphy,"
Wow Y/N, what a great and cheesy ass way to start a voicemail.
"So, minutes ago we were at a bus stop in the rain and it looked like we were filming a dramatic scene in a movie. Your oversized hoodie could've come in handy," I joked as I started fiddling with the blanket. "Anyway, guess what? I'm not moving. I'm going anywhere and I am gonna keep annoying the actual shit out of you."
I paused and smiled. "I'm not going to a new school, I won't have to make new friends, and I won't be asked out by anyone. I'm staying right here. And since I'm staying, can we maybe, I dunno, sort this whole thing out?" I asked awkwardly. "Like I said, I forgive you. And even if I didn't, we'd still find a way to forget about what happened, right?"
My dad's footsteps could be heard traveling up the stairs. "We can work this out Connor, I promise. If you don't want to, I.. I get it. I love you Con. Sincerely, me."
I ended and sent the message before letting my head hit the pillow. My eyes were closed but I wasn't drifting off yet. My phone buzzed again with more than one notification. When I opened the app they were coming from, the first thing it showed was a video.
I went numb as I viewed everything.
10K views, 400+ comments, the damn thing's been everywhere.
The video of me shoving Derek replayed a couple times before I finally tapped out and fell back on my pillow. "Goddammit," I muttered.
"Just because you're not 'invisible' anymore doesn't mean you can just pity me!"
I buried my face into my pillow, allowing my phone to just turn off by itself. Looking at it seemed like it would make everything worse.
Connor was still on my mind. It didn't matter though because out of all people, I didn't want him to disappear.