As I lay in my old bed, drowning myself in my Coldplay Playlist-- I think of how much I've changed since I left home.
I don't know how long I've been sulking in my room, but I'm starving so it must be past lunch time. I thought I would be happy here. .turns out, I'm not!
I continue to ask myself the same questions over and over again, trying to understand why I do the things I do.
Why do I run when things get rough?
Why can't I forgive and forget?
Why do I shut Ash out so much?
I wish I knew all the answers so I could understand the situation and know how to mend things, but I don't.
Is it because I'm not used to being lied to and hurt by someone I love?
It used to be that way but my dad's changed that already.
Is it because my life is suddenly not as perfect as it was when I started at WCU?
I'm wrecking my brains trying to figure out the root of all this.
"Sis?" Ally calls out cheerfully, rushing towards me. Guess it's past lunch time too.
"Allyson!" I gush, sitting upright to hug her.
She hurries over to my bed and collapses into my arms, smiling. Guess she was missing me as bad as I was missing her.
"I'm so glad you're here! I have stuff to tell you. Heaps!" She gushes, breaking from our hug.
"Well, I'll have time to hear about it. I have a whole month" I tell her with a smile.
"I wanna catch up with you, but I think there's someone else who should cut infront of me" she says, looking at the door.
Ally stands and heads out the door without another word. I sit there wondering who it could be. I fidget with my furry pillow, kind of nervous.
My door slams shut all of a sudden and I turn quickly to see who it is.
"Dani?!" I exclaim, standing up from my bed.
"Yes, Dani" she snaps, walking towards me. "The best friend you totally forgot about."
"Dani, I'm sorry" I begin, running a trembling hand through my hair. "I only told Todd about it because I knew you were gonna be with West and I knew Ash would show up. I just. .I just--"
"Just what, Kaia? You didn't even tell me you were coming here, girl!" Dani says, moving closer to sit on my bed.
"I know, I know. I didn't know what I was thinking. You're my best friend. .and I'm sorry" I apologize, hoping she'd forgive me.
I reach out to hold her hand. She gives mine a little squeeze before entwining our fingers.
"I just needed to get away. I'm sorry Dani, I really am. And I'm sorry for running to Todd and making him keep it a secret. I've been a horrible person, really."
"I get it! And even though I wanna be mad at you. .girl, I can't! I love you, okay? I could never stay mad at you" Dani says, before wrapping me up in a tight hug. I wrap my arms around her neck and close my eyes, glad I've sorted things out with her.
"I love you too, Danielle" I mutter, my chin resting on her shoulder.
"Now! I could stay and cuddle like this but I also have somewhere to be. Meet me tonight at that Sand Bar place?"
"What? You're staying in Eastbrook? Where?"
"With West. ...now, shht! Meet you there at 8:30 and oh, wear something hot" she winks, before opening the door to let herself out.
"Okay!" I call out, grinning at her crazy ways. I can't believe she came all the way here.
》×《
Soon, mom came bursting through my room with a wide smile. She hugged me so tightly I could hardly breathe. We stayed like that for a few minutes before making our way downstairs.
We sat in the living room, catching up with everything. I was so happy to hear that she's been doing much better than last time I was here. She told me that Ally was doing great in school, she also spends most of her weekends -- indoors, studying.
As usual, Ally made a very mouth-watering dinner for the three of us. I ate everything on my plate and even managed to stuff myself with dessert. Mom and Ally laughed at me as I savoured the chocolate mousse. Every spoonful into my mouth was so precious that I kept my eyes closed.
Once dinner was over, I helped mom clear up while Ally took a shower. We had a glass of wine each before I let her know I'd be meeting Dani soon. Mom made her way into the living room with a good book and hurried me off to get ready.
》×《
I'm currently rummaging through my closet, looking for something 'hot' to wear. Jeez, Dani! Oh well, I guess it's the least I could do after keeping her in the dark.
"Found something?" Ally asks curiously, popping her head through the half-opened door.
"Nope. Still looking" I reply, scanning through what's on the hangers.
"Where are you guys going to?" She asks, coming to sit on the edge of my bed.
"Sand Bar" I mutter, concentrating on an outfit I was holding up.
"Ooh! That place has been crowded lately, I was there last weekend" she tells me. "Well not at the bar but at the beach" Ally adds quickly before I question her about drinking.
"What about this one? I don't think I've worn it. .the tag's still attached" I say to her, holding up the black dress towards her.
Ally looks at the dress from top to bottom then shifts her gaze to me.
"Yep! That's totally hot! And you should darken your makeup tonight. You'll look so good" she squeals excitedly, clasping her hands together.
"You're something else" I say with a grin, shaking my head at her. She knows alot of this stuff. I wasn't even planning on wearing any makeup at all tonight.
Ally heads back to do her homework and I decide to have a quick shower then start on my hair and makeup. I take a quick look at the clock and freak when I see that it's already 8pm. Dani will kill me if I'm late.
I slip on my dress and take one final look in the mirror. I can't believe I'm wearing this. It boosts my confidence though, that's for sure.
I put on my boots, grab my bag and walk out the door, excited about tonight.
"Oh my! You look very pretty tonight" Mom says, putting her book down to take a better look at me.
"If it's too revealing I can change" I blurt out, thinking about the lace detail of my dress.
"Oh don't be silly! It looks amazing on you. Now, shoo! Off you go" Mom says with a smile, waving me off.
As I open the door to leave, my cab pulls up outside. Perfect timing. I hop in, tell the driver where I'm headed and lean back, enjoying the familiar sights of home. My body is calm but my mind is busy working, telling myself to keep occupied so I won't think about him at all.
>×<
I realise just how cold it is once I get to the beach. I should have brought a jacket. I curse at myself as the cold breeze whips my freshly curled hair back, causing it to fly everywhere.
I stand on the steps leading down to the beach and study the place. It was really busy just like Ally had said. Apart from the fully-packed Sand Bar, there were two bonfires tonight and a big crowd around it.
I quickly make my way inside the bar and scan the place for my curly-haired goddess. I have no idea what she's wearing tonight so it's even harder. I politely cut through the crowd muttering 'excuse me' as I went along. I stand by the bar and look around, I can see better from here.
I finally spot Dani, West, Todd and I think that's Greg at a table by the far corner of the place. A smile crept onto my face once I saw Dani and Todd laughing at each other.
I make my way over and soon as Dani catches sight of me, she squeals annoyingly.
"She's here!" She bellows, coming over to smother me with her tight hug.
"Hey you guys!" I greet everyone as Dani hugs me, rocking me from side to side.
"Finally, I thought you were never gonna reach here!" Todd comments, chuckling at me.
I take a seat on the empty stool beside Dani and study the table. It had different colored drinks with pretty straws and a big bowl of chips in the middle.
I pick up a pink colored one and lift it to my lips, taking a sip. It smells like cherries and tastes divine. I think I'll stick to this all night. Just as I put my drink back down, Todd clears his throat and looks my way. I quickly look up at him and smile once I see him trying to spit something out. This guy!
"Kaia, I know this introduction has been long overdue, but this is Greg" Todd says shyly, placing a hand on Greg's shoulder.
Greg extends a hand and gives me a warm smile. I gladly shake it, earning a grin from Todd.
"It's nice to finally meet you, Greg" I say, thinking back to when I answered his call on Todd's phone.
"Likewise, Kaia" he replies. I can already tell he's a nice guy. He gives off a sweet vibe and Todd seems to be falling for him, I can see it on his face. But I thought he didn't want to be serious with anyone. Guess he must've changed his mind.
❄ ❄❄
We managed to finish all the drinks on our table and West, being the gentleman that he is; went over to the bar to get us refills. It was almost 10pm now, and the beach was still over-crowded. Dani and Todd were being their annoying, hyper selves which kept Greg and I entertained while West was gone.
I got to know Greg a little better and turns out, him and Todd have a lot in common. They both like those fancy brunches and Greg loves to decorate the inside of his place. And just like Todd, he lives for fashion. Todd even mentioned they are planning on going away somewhere for break, just to shop.
Soon, West appears with a full tray in his hands and a big smile on his face. Dani immediately picks up a drink soon as the tray hits the table.
"Thirsty much?" West jokes, chuckling at her.
"Yes, babe" she gushes, sipping her drink through the straw.
I pick up a bright blue drink and take a sip without smelling it. To my suprise it tasted great. Good. I wasn't sure how it was going to go if I didn't like the taste. I would have to decide between swallowing it then puking or just puking. I'm glad it didn't have to come to that.
"Guys, West and I are going over to the bonfire to meet some of his mates. He wants to introduce his lovely, hot girlfriend to them" Dani exclaims, standing to her feet with her drink still in her hand.
"You forgot smart" West adds, giving Dani a kiss on her forehead.
"Aww!" we all gush, smiling at the cute couple.
"Then get outta here! We'll be sitting here finishing these lovelies" Todd says, gesturing at the amount of drinks still in front of us.
"Okay, be back soon!" Dani lets us know, before linking her arm in West's and heading off towards the bonfire.
It was okay being here with Todd and Greg but somehow I felt like I was the third-wheel on their date. I was hoping Dani and West came back soon, but then I would feel like the fifth-wheel to all of them. I just sat quietly and drank my cocktails, looking out to the sea. Every now and then Greg would strike up a conversation or tell a joke and I would laugh hysterically, and in that moment I seem to forget how miserable I look right now.
"Girl, we're gonna head to the restroom, be back in a tic" Todd says, before him and Greg stand and leave the table.
I smile and give a small nod before pulling out my phone. This is the last thing I want to do right now, but I'm bored and alone so I guess I'll just switch it on.
Soon as it comes on and the homescreen appears, I'm bombarded with tons of messages and voicemails. Most of them are from Dani and a few from Ash.
Ash. I haven't said his name in a while. It almost sounds foreign on my tongue. Ash.
I didn't want to reply or listen to any of the voicemails so I swiped away all the notifications and switched my phone off again, placing it back inside my clutch. I pick up my drink again and exhale loudly before placing the straw between my lips, taking a sip.
I stared out into the night, almost getting lost in it until a voice startles me from behind, bringing me back to reality.
"Excuse me, is this seat taken?" he calls out, his voice louder than the music that was playing throughout the bar.
"Actually, my friends are--" I start, turning around to face him.
I slowly set down my drink before it hits the floor. I lose my sentence, not even attempting to finish it. I look over to the bonfire, trying my hardest to spot Dani. After a few seconds of scanning, I finally see her waving her phone at me. She was jumping up and down, giving me a thumbs up with a huge smile on her face.
That's when I realised. She planned this. That sneaky --
"So. . .can I sit here, with you?" he asks again, this time I notice his dressing. It's the same shirt, same black jeans, same converse. Same face. I even smile when I see the same beer clutched in his right hand.
"S-sure" I manage to push out, turning back around to face the table. I keep my gaze low, fixed on nothing but anything other than those perfect emerald eyes I'm too afraid to get sucked in by.
We sit in silence, neither one of us wanting to speak. It wasn't an awkward silence, well at least to me it wasn't. It's been a while since Greg and Todd left the table. Looks like they aren't coming back any time soon. Who knows? Maybe they were in on it with Dani as well.
"Angel" Ash finally speaks up, turning to face me.
I lift my head and shift my gaze to him, scanning his face. He doesn't look drunk or high. Instead, he looks like he hasn't slept at all and has probably been crying. The slight redness in his eyes suggest that. I can't help but feel bad, now that I've seen his condition.
"Before you say anything, I just want to say that--"
"I'm sorry" Ash cuts me off.
He reaches over to hold my hand. I slowly place my hand in his and I instantly feel his warmth.
"I'm sorry too. I never should have left. I should have stayed and worked things out" I tell him, feeling horrible now that I've seen what my actions have caused.
"Well I'm sorry I didn't run after you, or try to stop you. I practically told you to leave and for that I apologize, Kaia. I regret it, deeply" he says sincerely, lifting my hand up to his lips, giving it a gentle kiss.
"I promise I won't run anymore if you promise to tell me everything" I say to him, hoping he would agree.
"Promise" he replies with a brief nod, placing a hand across his heart.
I stand up off my stool and collapse on Ash, wrapping my arms around his neck. He wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me even closer. I close my eyes and exhale, finally relieved that we've sorted this out in the calmest way.
"I love you" I whisper as he gently caresses the small of my back.
"I love you too" Ash replies, before slowly slipping out of my hug.
I stand and move back to my stool, grinning like an idiot. Ash gets up from his and it looks like he's moving. I have no idea what he's doing and I'm slightly confused too.
"This time I'm gonna get it right, love" he says, giving me a wink.
I give him a puzzled look and watch as he moves to the stool opposite me. He sits down and faces the sea, beer in hand. It takes me a while to figure out what he's up to, then it finally hits me.
I get up and take a deep breath. This is a really funny thing to do and I'm not sure why he's doing it. But since he wants to, I'll play along. I take a quick look at the bonfire and see Todd, Greg, West and Dani waving at me. They were all in on it, great! Dani and Todd were cheering me on, like the crazy duo that they are.
I walk up to the really cheesy guy in black and glare at him, trying to get myself in the mood I was in that particular night.
"Hi, I hate to be as rude as you but I saw this table first -- and I was on my way here but you rudely pushed past me and claimed the spot for yourself!" I snap.
He doesn't even flinch. I look down and smile, wanting to burst out laughing from all the drinks and how corny this reenactment is. Instead, I shake off my urge to laugh and carry on. I still don't know what's the point in all this, though.
"Hey! Can't you hear--"
"I heard you, Miss Feisty, and I'm sorry. I had absolutely no idea you saw this table first" He cuts me off, making me rethink the whole thing. I don't remember him saying that.
"Um. ..okay, not what I was expecting" I reply, still trying to wrap my numb head around what was happening.
"But since I claimed your table, let me make it up to you. Have a seat, let me buy you a drink" He says with a dashing smile, making my heart melt.
I blush like mad as I walk over to him and take a seat on the stool beside him. He extends his hand out warmly for me to shake.
"I'm Ashton. Ashton Parker."
My heart is racing as if this was the first time I was meeting him. I couldn't help but grin like an idiot, this is so cheesy but it's really cute. I place my hand in his and give it a small shake.
"I'm Kaia. Collins."
"Kaia, what a beautiful name" Ash says, smiling at me.
"Hmm. Ashton. That's a pretty common name if you ask me" I reply, trying my hardest not to laugh and mess this up.
I look up at him and smile when I find him already staring at me. I quickly look down again and take a sip of my drink before I turn red. Even after months he still has this effect on me. I look out to the bonfire but I can't see everyone. I wonder where they've gone off to.
"Move in with me" Ash announces, giving me a shock.
I turn to him wide-eyed, completely caught off guard. Okay, maybe I didn't hear him correctly.
"W-What?" I ask slowly, trying to think if I heard him right. Maybe my ears are playing tricks on me.
"I want you to move in with me. Please" Ash repeats himself, squeezing my hand.
"Ash. I. .."
"You?..."
"Yes!" I blurt out, before standing up and throwing my arms around him. Wow! I can't believe this. This night has been so perfect. I close my eyes and feel them start to tear up as I think of how Dani got Ash here and what my night has turned into.
"I'm so happy you've said yes. I've been going insane thinking of all the different ways to ask you. I- I just- I'm so happy, Kaia. I love you and I never wanna lose you again, love" Ash says as he breaks away from my hug and cups my face with both hands.
"I love you too" I reply, nodding several times before I wrap my arms around him again.
<>♡<>
Finally, things were okay. I lost track of time as Ash held me tightly. After what felt like a lifetime, my friends reappeared with massive smiles on their faces.
"I take it she said yes?" Dani asks curiously while chuckling at Ash.
"Yes. Yes, she did" Ash replies proudly, placing a kiss on my cheek.
"Aww, I'm gonna miss you roomie!" Dani says with puppy dog eyes, coming over to hug me.
"We're still best friends and we still go to the same school, Danielle" I say as Dani smothers me once again in a hug.
"I know. And by the way" Dani says, whispering. "Ash has another suprise up his sleeve, this time you have your sister to thank."
"What are you talking about?" I answer back in a hushed tone, slightly confused.
"Can't give away too much but.. tomorrow. Him. You. Ally. Your mom."
"Oh my gosh! What?! Dani, how--"
"Girl, shut it. You didn't hear it from me" Dani says, moving away from me with a smug look on her face.
I can't contain my smile anymore. I look down shyly and let out the biggest smile ever. I glance at Ash and see him laughing and chatting with West. He asked me to move in with him. He wants to meet mom and Ally. I'm so overwhelmed with feelings right now.
What I thought was going to be an ordinary friends night out turned out to be the best night of my life.
I'm beyond blessed to have such amazing friends, a great family and an incredible boyfriend. I never thought my life in college would turn out this great at all.