A request made by tanbzz and written by BTS_24. I hope you like it :) And please send her some love :)
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Day 5
"I can't do this anymore. I am breaking up with you."
Day 8
"What are you still doing here? I don't want you here."
Day 12
"I don't want to talk to you anymore. We are done."
Day 15
"I am not going to change my mind. Leave."
Day 17
"I don't want to see your face ever again! Leave me alone!"
—
"Jin... Don't you think you should give up? She's made up her mind. It's been two weeks!"
It had been more than two weeks but pointing it out would just make the younger one more anxious.
Jin smiled at the server as he took the cups of coffee from her hand. He handed over one cup to Namjoon and took a small sip from his cup.
Coffee didn't taste like coffee anymore.
Well, nothing was the same anymore.
"A couple of weeks against three years-which would you give more importance?" Jin asked simply, taking another tasteless sip from his cup, swallowing hard.
"I know what you are trying to say, but she doesn't want to be with you anymore. Just because you don't like it, you can't refuse to acknowledge it. You can't force her into being with you!"
"I am not forcing her."
"Yes. You are!"
Lately, all their conversations seemed to have the same ending. Neither being able to move on from the topic.
The same discussion, the same impasse.
"Namjoon, I have to go... Thank you for stopping by..." Jin sighed, pulling his best friend into a hug and patting him on the back.
Namjoon pulled back from the hug, his eyes searching for some sign of reassurance that Jin knew what he was doing.
He saw none.
—
"Jisoo!"
He woke up with a start. His hammering heart almost deafening him to the surrounding. He gripped at the covers lying tangled around him. He pulled at them, trying to free himself, but it just tightened around him, closing in on him just like the nightmare.
He wiped away the sweat from his brow as he took big gulps of air. His tears flowing, unbridled.
Every night it was the same.
Every day it was the same.
He wished that it was only a nightmare. But the reality would set in immediately after that futile wish. His nightmare wasn't just a nightmare. It was real and far worse than the re-enactment his brain played on loop every time he closed his eyes.
The small wave- the small swerve.
The flashing smile- the flashing light.
The little step forward- the hard step on the brake.
The heartbeat deafening the surrounding world- the screech of the wheels tearing through the silence.
The look of longing- the look of horror.
The falter in the smile- the falter in judgement.
The turn of the head- the turn of the steering.
The scream.
The impact.
The car came to a stop, the world followed.
Time unfroze.
He ran. He dropped to his knees -his heart to his stomach.
He held her in his arms.
He cried. His heart-wrenching wails bringing tears to all those present.
He begged to anyone listening.
He begged for her life.
He begged for his life, for there was none without her.
-
Jin got out of bed. The remnants of the nightmare still visible in his eyes.
His feet now familiar with the hotel room moved without hesitation in the darkness. His hands moving of their own accord as they did the same things they had been doing for three weeks now.
Three weeks of Jin waking up at the crack of dawn and getting ready to be at the hospital, by Jisoo's side when she woke up and asked for him.
Three weeks and she hadn't asked for him once.
Jin would watch her wake up, look at him and immediately turn away. He would talk to her, tell her all that he could think of and all he got was her silence.
It broke his heart but he held on.
Held onto the hope and the ring in his pocket.
—
"It's been more than a month. I need you to let go."
Jisoo ran her fingers through his messy hair. She saw his shoulders sink down like they did when he felt relaxed. Her fingers traced the worry lines that had made their appearance known only in the last few weeks. Even in slumber, they didn't leave his forehead.
"What have you done to yourself? Why aren't you eating properly? Your bones are starting to stick out.." Jisoo sighed, as her eyes started to water. She hated seeing him like this and knowing that she was the reason behind it.
"Why are you still holding on? I have done everything I can to make you hate me and leave but it's not working! What more can I do? Don't make it so hard for me!" Her lips started to tremble.
Jisoo covered her mouth with her hand, muffling the sobs that were building inside her. Tears ran down her face and over her hands. She was a complete mess.
"I w-wish I could say it just one more time to you, but I know it won't help both of us. I love you! I love you so much! I can't b-believe that life would take this turn and things would end up like this... I am so s-scared, Jin, but I need to put you over my fear."
With shaky fingers, she cupped his face as he lay asleep on the chair next to her bed. Her fingers stroking his cheeks, trying her hardest to memorize his features knowing that this might be the last time she would get to touch him.
—
"Happy Birthday, Jisoo!" Jennie yelled as she saw her friend wake up.
Jisoo had to close her ears from the unexpected auditory assault. She threw her pillow at Jennie, almost knocking over the vase Jennie had been putting fresh yellow lilies in.
Yellow lilies.
Jisoo immediately looked at Jennie. Jennie shook her head, understanding the question in Jisoo's eyes.
He wasn't here.
"He hasn't been back since the day you made the hospital security bar him from entering your room," Jennie said in a quiet voice. She hadn't approved of Jisoo's actions although she knew of her intentions.
Yellow lilies had marked every important day of her relationship with Jin. It was the flowers he had shyly given to her on their first blind date. Birthdays, anniversaries, the not-so-special days- all of them had yellow lilies in them and Jin too.
Jisoo blinked back her tears and gave a sad smile to Jennie, thanking her for the flowers.
—
"Hey! I am so sorry! I got unexpectedly held up!" He bent down and he planted a quick peck on her lips. His face breaking into the smile she had ached to see over the past few weeks.
Jisoo leaned towards him, instincts and habit overpowering the restraint for a moment. She opened her eyes to find herself pouting, with lips ready for him while Jin was already at the coffee table, setting up their dinner as he arranged the takeout boxes.
"Jin...?"
He walked to her bed, removed her reading glasses, closed the book she had been reading and placed it on the table beside her bed. He then scooped her into his arms, his actions far more gentle and careful than required, mindful of the cast on her right leg. Her hands circled his neck as he carried her to the couch.
"So I've got our regular order. I have missed this!" Jin rubbed his hands in joy.
"Jin, what's going on?"
"Well, it's our three years, four months and 23 days anniversary! Did you forget?" Jin asked, dropping his mouth open in exaggerated shock.
"The more important question is why do you even know that?" Jisoo asked, slightly concerned.
"At least you didn't deny it," Jin shrugged his shoulders and winked at her. "Now, dig in! Before it gets cold."
Jisoo reached out and tugged his hand and attention towards her.
"Jin, what are you doing here?" Jisoo sighed.
Jin took her hands in his and moved closer to her on the couch. "I am doing exactly what I should have been doing all this while. I should have never let you keep me away from you. For a moment, I took you seriously and thought that you actually didn't want to be with me anymore."
"But-"
"No," Jin said interrupting her. "I am not going to listen to you anymore. I am not even going into how it feels knowing how little trust you have in me. Let's just enjoy this meal for now."
"Trust? What are you talking about?" Jisoo asked, brows creased in confusion.
"You have a surgery coming up. If the surgery doesn't go as planned, you could potentially never walk again. You decided that I wouldn't want to be stuck in a relationship with you and went to great lengths to ensure that I would have to leave."
"All this crap for almost two months because you didn't think that I would willingly stay with you. Try to convince me that you still trust me or our relationship." Jin tried his hardest but couldn't keep the annoyance from seeping into his voice.
"Like you said, I could never walk again. You would be stuck looking after me. You have your entire life ahead of you and I would just hold you back. You would start to resent me and our relationship! It has nothing to do with trust! You know I trust you with my life!" Jisoo exclaimed.
"Then show it! Trust me with your life!"
Jin reached for the chain around his neck and slowly pulled it over his head. The chain held a simple platinum ring. Her eyes started to water seeing the ring in his palm.
"When I bought this ring, I decided to spend the rest of my life with you. The day of the accident..." Jin's fingers wrapped around the ring as he recalled the day he had planned to propose to her. He looked up at the ceiling, blinking back tears and trying to control his emotions.
He looked at Jisoo to see her silently crying. He cupped her face in his hands and tried to wipe away the tears that refused to stop.
"Jisoo, I love you. If those words don't give you the assurance that I will be with you every step of the way, then what is even the point? I came so close to losing you and then for you to decide to take away yourself from me!"
Seeing the conflict in her eyes, Jin pulled Jisoo into his arms. Jisoo wrapped her arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder. The familiarity of his arms made her feel complete again. The void suddenly full again. Her heart felt at home, beating in rhythm to his heart.
"I was just so s-scared. I still am.. I didn't know what to do and I didn't want to burden you-" Jisoo managed to get a few words out before breaking down again.
Jin pulled her in tighter. Her tears seemed to be his only weakness. He would give her everything she wanted if it meant that her tears would stop but not today. What she hoped from him, he could never do.
"You will never be a burden. How can my life be a burden on me? I am not going anywhere no matter how much you try to push me away."
Jisoo dropped her hands from around him, overwhelmed with everything happening. She refused to meet his eyes, afraid she would lose her resolve which was dangerously close to falling apart already.
Jin placed his fingers under her chin and made her look at him. Her eyes shining with unshed tears and lips quivering as they held back her sobs.
His lips covered hers in a gentle kiss. He felt fresh tears wet his cheeks.
"Don't fight me. Don't fight us," Jin pleaded against her lips. "Jisoo, you have to know I have nothing without you."
Jin leaned back to see her nod her head. The nod so small that it could be easily missed but at least it gave him the hope that he had been desperately looking for.
Jin fastened the chain with the ring around Jisoo's neck. "I don't want to pressure you into doing something you aren't completely sure about but I would like you to keep this with you. This will always remind you that no matter what I am not going anywhere."
Jisoo held the ring in her hand, still conflicted. Her brain and her heart pulling her in opposite directions.
Until she read the inscription on the inside of the ring.
The brain surrendered as the heart rejoiced at the words.
There is no me without you.