(A/n- Please don't forget to comment and share. I truly appreciate it!
THERE WILL BE A SEQUEL)
A sleek black Porsche limo, a champagne rose with the most beautiful silk bow corsage lays against my tanned skin, and the perfect golden dress to finish the perfect prom.
Liam is looking as dazzling as ever and even managed to correspond his tie color to my dress which is making this all even better for our future pictures to come.
We've been dancing the night away and sharing a ton of laughs.
I truly couldn't ask for anything more.
The first slow song of the night makes its way onto the speakers and Liam instantly smirks over at me as his hands wrap around my waist.
This week has been crazier than ever and this moment is making up for every little downside we've ever shared.
The sound of the music echos through my ears loudly and as if this was some sort of crazy movie, one wrong direction and you'll automatically bump into someone with how crowded it is.
And even though there's a over hundred of people in this room I can't help but feel like we were the only two here.
His brown eyes melt into mine making my heart jump out of my chest.
"You look beautiful tonight." Liam compliments for the tenth time tonight and that instantly makes a smile grow on my face.
"You don't look too bad yourself." I tease.
"I love you, you know that right?" His tone comes off way different than I expected- almost as if he needs to hear me say yes solely to clarify something that's clearly going on through his brain right about now.
"Of course I do. . . Where is this coming from, Palazzesi?" My voice shakes with every word and his eyes fall to the ground making my hands tremble as what's to come.
"I'm sorry for acting so inconsiderate lately. It's just that Jessica and I-"
"Never really closed that chapter of your lives?" I question instantly trying to beat him to the punch and he gives me a sad look almost looking hopeless at the circumstances that he's created.
"What Jessica and I had is completely different than what you and I have. . . I don't love her like I love you." His eyes widen in realization and I feel my heart come to a complete stop.
Is the air getting stuffy in here.
Oh my gosh.
I think I might actually physically faint.
"You said 'love' Liam. A-Are you still in love with her?" I stutter out as panic raises to his perfect features making me release my arms from around his neck.
I take a few steps back as my head gets filled with a billion and one thoughts. My worst fear brought to life.
I let him in only to hurt me.
I think that was more than enough of an answer in itself. It's surely more than he has given me in this entire week.
"No! Of course not. I love you." He promises as he immediately reaches for my hand and I flinch at his touch causing a flash of pain in those brown orbs.
"But do you love her? Even in the slightest bit." I ponder aloud as tears now begin to prickle and cloud my vision.
Liam stays silent and it feels as if the dark cloud has finally cleared up and the sun is starting to reappear in my life for the first time in a long time.
I guess I know where we stand.
"Do you mind if I cut in?" Jessica's squeaky, high-pitched voice booms loudly as she taps on my shoulder.
A tear finally slides down my face and I wipe it away as fast as it came.
"All yours." I whisper.
It feels as if my voice is in complete hiding- almost as if it's afraid to go any higher because if it does it would break into a thousand of pieces just like my heart currently is.
I push through the crowd and run as fast as my legs could carry me not even bothering to look back at Liam.
I need air.
I push open the big doors that lead to outside and I take in a deep breath as I hold onto the decorated pole out front for dear life.
My feet shuffle to take a few steps back but my luck my back hits another.
"Hey, what's wrong beautiful?" Eyes so soft yet dangerous like the ocean, they meet mine and as the brown haired boy realizes who just bumped into him.
He tucks his hands into his dress pants and I feel my throat swell as my tears clog up. "Matt," I splutter and he immediately wraps his arms around me securely.
I didn't even need to say a word for him to understand that I was in so much pain or who more specifically who caused it.
"You want to head out of here? I was about to leave anyways." He whispers comfortingly and I sigh as I mumble a quick 'yes.'"
All I want to do is go home.
"Please."
"Stay here while I'll go get my car it's a little of a walk."
I nod at his kind gesture and fall against the brick wall as I watch his figure disappear into the dark nightly fog.
My legs give up as I fall not only into my puffy dress but the pavement as well as my tears fall down my face more rapidly than before.
Time feels frozen as I sit there crying for what seems like minutes.
The sound of those grand large doors opening and closing causes my head to snap in that direction and there's Liam coming over to talk to me. "Babe,"
"Don't call me that."
"Please talk to me." He whispers pleadingly as he slides against the bricks and onto the floor, placing his arms against his knees.
"I can't believe you that you actually have the nerve to come out here and think I want to talk to you." I spat angrily as my tears now dissolve as I see his face.
"We have to talk."
"I have nothing to say to you."
"That's not true, Gia."
"Well to me it is."
My phone vibrates and there in bold letters was a text from Matt saying that parked on the other side of the building for me to walk to since the traffic in the parking lot is insane.
I write back a reply saying that I'll be there shortly and look back up at Liam.
"I'm leaving with Matt. Go enjoy the rest of your night with Jess." My voice breaks as I mumble that last part and force my shaky legs up.
"Don't go, Giana." He pleads.
He reaches for my hand in attempt to make me stay and holds it firmly within his own. Holding it almost as if I would slip away like a pile of putty if he didn't hold it tight enough.
The one thing he didn't know is that he didn't need to hold my hand to make me stay because I was already his to begin with but that's the issue.
I was his but he was never mine.
You know how in those cheesy romance novels when the main character describes how they feel literal sparks between them and the person they're in love with? I thought that was the silliest thing I could ever read or believe. But now I know it wasn't some fantasy or made up thing that people just say for attention.
Because that's exactly how I feel in this moment as if some kind of electric spark is attacking me and taking my heart with it. Which makes this goodbye a billion times worst.
I jerk my hand away in attempt to not feel what I'm feeling but my heart still continues to race just as fast.
"Please don't leave with him." He begs once again with a shake of his head just as desperate as he was before.
His brown eyes rake my own and that's when I feel my heart, my soul, my body set on fire with just one piercing gaze. It feels as if his is burning me and if we were in any other situation than I never wanted to look away but right now? Right now I feel sick to my stomach.
Saying 'I love you' isn't something you just say to someone. My friends have always been the ones with more boyfriends than I can count, and they throw around that word so loosely before a first real date actually rolls around.
They don't even truly knowing the impact that word has on someone.
I never knew the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone.
I've heard plenty of times people describe it but I never knew what it actually meant until I felt it myself.
Until Liam Palazzesi.
Because for the first time in my life I realize that being in love also means that I now have something to loose.
Someone I never knew would mean so much but I'm loosing anyways.
My eyes are now desperately roaming his in hopes of discovering some sort of sign that he was feeling the same way that I was.
Deep down I want to convince myself that his eyes are the key to his soul. That I'm the only one he will ever truly care about but I can't let myself fully believe that unless he says that he's not in love with Jess anymore. Because to Liam no matter how much I want to believe that cares and loves me- this all could be just one huge game for him to get the last laugh to ruin my senior year.
His love consumes me and I keep letting it.
"How am I suppose to stay when I don't believe a word you'll say to me? You claim that you're in love with me but you're just being incredibly rude for someone who loves me. . . You're just stringing me along because you won't admit that you're not in love with me like you are with Jessica."
"I love you, Giana." He swears but holding back onto the rest that I so badly need to hear from him.
Reality is sinking in and this hurts more than a ton of bricks.
I'm standing here and practically asking for him to break my heart even more than he already has.
My bottom lip begins to quiver and I hold on to it so tightly that it slowly it began to bleed as it was captured between my two front teeth.
My heart is breaking into more pieces than I can count and I know this is getting absolutely nowhere. He loves me. . . But he doesn't love me like I love him.
"Say it Liam." I beg desperately letting my emotions get the best of me.
His jaw clenched tightly as he tries his best to let the words leave his lips.
"If what you feel for me is real than look me in the eyes and tell me that you aren't in love with Jess- say it and I won't leave with Matt." My voice cracks making his eyes meet mine giving me that last bit of hope that I've saved in me.
"I'm yours." I promised but all I receive is a nervous shake of his head before he proceeds to take a few steps away from me.
I don't know what just killed me more- me admitting that I would give up everything for him or the way he just reacted to it.
I would never normally give someone satisfaction that I needed them but it's like I don't have control over what I say or do whenever I'm around him and it sickens me.
My tears are now on the brim of falling out all over again and I feel an overwhelming amount of pain more than before. Not only is my heart breaking but it feels as if my entire body is tearing itself down as well.
I never knew I could be so in love yet feel so much pain all at the same time.
Maybe it's not the love that is killing me but the expectations that are.
He was never suppose to mean this much to me and I was never suppose to care as much as I do. But I did and I don't think he even cares.
No matter what I do or how much I change- it always comes back to the one thing I hate to admit. The more I love, the more I hurt.
"So, what was all of this to you then?" I break just wanting an answer once and for all. "Another game? Another way to see if you could be the one to break my heart."
A few years ago I made a promise to myself that I would never purposelessly get my heartbroken by someone that I knew was bad for me. I've seen that game played way too many times and I swore that I was never going to become one of those couples- the couple where there's one person in the relationship that becomes so naive and blinded by love to actually see the truth in things.
But I guess for the first time I laid my armor down for someone who I thought was on my team.
He looks down at his feet as his hands are shoved deeply into his pockets and I could hear the heavy breathing coming out of his lips. "You're free to go, Giana. . . I didn't mean for things to go this far and if I'm going to be completely honest I hate loosing. I just enjoyed the thrill of not being able to have you and now that I do— I won."
Those were the words that cut deeper than a knife. The same ones that brought me back to reality as I finally figure out the truth.
I knew this was all too good to be true.
I don't even have the energy to speak as I start to get all choked up. I physically can't find the words to tell him that I hate him, because in the end I knew all along it was truly my fault from the beginning. . . Loving him had consequences and I knew it. And now I'm finally paying for it.
He hurt me and pretended to loved me all with his worst intentions, made promises to make me believe there was a happy ending when this was the one I was destined all along. He pretended to love me all because of his ego, this entire time his ego was more important than me, and I fell for it.
I fell for it completely.
My heart can't hold onto this pain anymore, it's like my heart is physically breaking trying to hold together the only good memories that we actually share. . . In the end he didn't choose to leave me because of a long distance relationship, because college would be too much to handle on top of a relationship— that would've honestly been easier to handle. It's the fact that he left me because I never meant a thing, our whole relationship has been based off of a lie, and as I force myself to walk away from him tonight, I'm also forced to deal with my broken heart that is scattered into a million of little pieces that I don't think him or anyone else could even fix anymore.
"I'm sorry, Giana." He doesn't gloat with victory but the lack of sympathy in his voice sends chills down my entire body. It's like he's a complete stranger standing in front of me.
"That's it?" I laugh humorlessly because if I don't I might have a mental breakdown. "You're sorry? You're sorry for what exactly?" I spat as I shove my hands into his chest making him stumble back with a look of defeat on his face.
"I-I- Giana-"
"Screw you, Palazzesi, I knew I should've stayed away from you since the beginning- I- I actually wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt because I never thought you would stoop so low." My voice cracks as my head starts to spin at even the thought of Liam lying to me.
He wouldn't do that.
He wouldn't do that to me.
"I'm sorry."
But he did.
He most certainly did.
I hate him, I hate him so much, I hate him for breaking my heart and making me believe that someone could give me such faith that love exist in such a toxic world. . . To make me believe that I could love someone when I never thought I could.
And I hate how a piece of my heart will always belong to Liam and I don't think it'll ever go away even if I try to suppress it.
Because even though all the hatred that I'm currently feeling Liam is always going to be Liam.
My first love.
A true blessing and a curse to feel such a love that makes you feel absolutely everything.
Someone once told me that you're senior year is a year that you'll never forget and I was naive enough to not believe them.
I thought this year was just going to be another ordinary year for me but I was wrong- I was so wrong.
This year was unforgettable.
"Goodbye Liam."
And it was in that goodbye that I knew it was gonna be the last one that we'll ever say to each other.
(A/n- Chapter forty-five is officially out! I can't believe this book is over.
I hope no one is mad at this ending, it was always suppose to be this way for Liam and Giana from the moment I started this book.
I appreciate every single one of you who stuck with me and this book from beginning to end. You guys are amazing, your support is what kept me going in completing this book. I am so grateful that I've been able to write for you guys.
I do want to say if you keep this book in your reading list, I will still being keep you guys updated with future updates.
The sequel will be out very soon and I am beyond exciting for you guys to read it and I hope you guys go check it out!
Please be sure to click that little star button at the bottom of the page, comment, and share. It means the absolute world to me when you guys do. Once again, thank you for going on this amazing journey with me. Until next time!)
Started on July 14, 2017
Completed on May 28, 2018
#568 in Teen Fiction on 05/28/18