I wiped a stray tear off of my cheek as I listened to the record player Tom bought for me after I told him I've always wanted one. I was listening to "These Arms of Mine" which is truly a heart-wrenching song.
That's when I heard the door to our humble abode open and hesitant footsteps make their way towards my crying figure on the couch. Trying to compose myself quickly I suddenly looked up to see the outstretched hand of Tom Riddle. I timidly slipped my hand into Tom's as he helped me up from my seat on the couch. He placed his other hand on my waist while I placed my free hand on his shoulder. We took a dance form the best we could since my belly was housing nearly 9-month-old twins. Tom skillfully led me in a slow dance around the living room. I smiled up at him a little not just because of this beautiful moment we were sharing but because I know he is slowly but surely realizing the inevitable was coming true. I raised my hand to cup his cheek stroking it with my thumb as he looked down at me with a look of adoration and respect. He knew what I was doing for him, and he understood the severity.
A tear slipped down my cheek as I thought of Tom together with our kids without me. How would he raise them on his own, and what would the fate of our children be? He reached up and wiped away the tear from my cheek before brushing his thumb against my lips. I kept my eyes on his as he made his next move bringing me into his embrace. "Shhh. I'm going to make it all better." He whispered softly as I cried silent tears of fear and devastation. "Do you believe me?" He asked softly whilst taking my face in his hands. "I do." I whispered back quietly. I feel like I'm just a ticking time bomb and any day or any moment now my life would come to a bitter end, nothing can save me from this fate. I can't keep my mind of it, it's inevitable. Giving birth should be my happiest achievement, not my greatest fear.
Day after day we waited with heavy hearts, Tom for my death and I for my twin's birth. I knew Tom was trying to accept it but I hadn't fully accepted it either. No one else knew but us, but everyone else wasn't important. Hogwarts was full of hundreds of people and yet I felt so lonely. I spent most days waiting for my water to finally break signifying something inevitable. Sometimes I just want it all to end already, this antagonizing feeling of the unknown is unbearable. It is 2 am, I'm situated comfortably on the bed next to Tom's sleeping form. Strange how sleeping next to him seemed so wrong at first but now it's so natural. I wish I could live forever, with Tom and my children. I just want my children to be happy no matter what happens to me. I don't care about me, the bags under my eyes from my lack of sleep nor the way my body has changed all I want is for my kids to come into this world healthy and ready to take it on without the saving grace of a mother. I just want to go peacefully if this truly is my fate and I know it is. In my heart, I know there is nothing that I wouldn't do to live and to be able to spend my life with my twins, and Tom Riddle strangely enough.
That's when I felt it, my water finally broke. I laid in bed for five minutes longer trying to cope with the rush of emotions that were flowing through me. This is it, it's finally happening. I swallowed hard as I sat up careful not to wake Tom. It's so tempting to leave him sleeping oblivious to what was happening but I know that's unfair to him. He'd miss my death Sure but he'd also miss the birth of his children. Even if he doesn't care, I do.
"Tom." I whispered while softly nudging him. "I need you to wake up Tom." He quickly sat up turning to look at me confusedly. "What? What's wrong? What is it?" He asked. "Tom I need you to go get Mildred and bring her here right now." I said quickly before getting up to go wake Maggie. "What? Roslyn what is it? What's happening?" He asked, his voice almost trembling like he already knew. "It's time Tom, I need Mildred here to help. " I said softly. He looked down at his lap rubbing his face with his hands before standing up and shrugging on a coat. "How much time?" He asked suddenly. "It depends." I managed to say. "Depends on what?" He asked nervously. I swallowed hard as I spoke truthfully. "On when my heart decides to give out." I quietly choked out noticing how my words clearly disturbed Tom. "Don't do anything until I get back." He said before kissing my forehead laying his hand on my stomach before leaving quickly to go retrieve Milly.
I'm so scared, really scared but I know this is what is meant to happen. If this happens at least Tom will have a restored ability to love and maybe then he will be able to raise our children and give them a halfway decent life. I got up slowly and waddled to where Maggie slept in the living room. "Maggie! Maggie wake up!" I exclaimed as I began to feel pressure in my lower abdomen. "What is it Miss?" She asked rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. "It's time, the babies are coming." I said quickly in almost a panicked voice. She bounced up and took my hand leading me back to the bedroom. "You're going to be alright miss the babies will be in your arms in no time." She said making me tear up a bit. She didn't know what was to happen because I feared she'd tell the Dark Lord and he would know that I knew all along and kill my father or friends. The thought of my mom came to mind as tears rushed down my face, I'll be with her soon. Maggie put thick sheets down on the bed and then set up her medical equipment after helping me lay down. "Deep breaths Miss. Roslyn." She spoke just as I heard the front door open and close. I rested my back on the pillows she had stacked up behind me as I breathed in deeply. Just then Tom and Milly walked in. "Roslyn!" Milly called running up to the side of the bed. She had asked to be here for the birth and though I was hesitant at first considering what is to happen not only do I need a friendly face but someone needs to care for the babies while Maggie is trying to revive me and Tom goes on a rampage or whatever he ends up doing. "How are you feeling?" She asked worriedly. "Um I feel fine." I said hoping I wouldn't be in too much pain but I know this would be anything but pleasant.
"You're going to give me an epidural right Maggie?" I asked after Milly ran out to retrieve some hot water. Maggie turned around with a nervous look. "The dark lord forbade Maggie from giving Miss. Roslyn any drugs in fear that the children would take ill." I looked at her with a look of anger. "What?! No the epidural won't hurt the babies, mothers do it all the time." I said uneasy. "You know what it doesn't even matter," I said shocking myself with the amount of attitude in my voice. Just then I felt a shock of pain in my abdomen that shook my whole body. I gasped in pain before emitting and loud yell of anguish. "Oh yes it does yes it does please." I moaned in pain. "I'm sorry miss-" Tom interrupted her. "Give it to her." He said shocking both Maggie and I going against his own orders. "I don't know whose orders to follow." She said in a panicked voice looking quickly from me to Tom's cold stare. "I think it would be best to listen to the one standing in front of you," Tom said menacingly while pulling out his wand. "Maggie would but she had believed she would not need it." I closed my eyes and let out a whine of pain as the pain came back. "You didn't bring one?!" I cried just as Mildred entered the room with the the water. "Oh Roslyn don't cry it'll be alright," Milly said running to my side and grabbing my hand. "Tom you had best wait in the hall," Mildred told him quietly. He stared down at me with an unreadable expression before leaving the room and shutting the door. Whatever pain women feel in childbirth I would be experiencing 10x worse and it's not because of anything I did. It's because of my father's idiocy that I would die today. I am cursed to never experience the happiest moment of my life, my children's lives.
I took deep breaths as Maggie had instructed, but nothing seemed to calm me or help my pain. "Ahhh I want them out!" I cried loudly in pain as Milly pushed my hair out of my face. "Miss Roslyn you must wait until you are properly dilated before we can begin." Maggie said in an irritatingly sweet voice. "How long will that take?" I asked not wanting this pain to last any longer. "My aunt was in labor for 16 hours with my cousin." Mildred offered gleefully making me groan. "I can't do it." I cried as the pain increased. "Your contractions are much closer than they should be at this point, and you shouldn't be in so much pain." Milly started confusedly. Time went by and the pain only got much worse. Mildred wiped the sweat off of my forehead with a wet cloth as I panted. I can feel the life being sucked out of me as time trickles on slowly. The pain is unbearable but still my heart keeps beating. Tears slipped down my face as Maggie checked how dilated I was once more like she did every so often. "Get them out of there." I growled at her as the pain returned causing me scream. Miss Roslyn can start pushing now." Maggie said just before I started to push making me yell out loudly in pain. I cried feeling the worst pain I've ever endured.
"Good job Roslyn," Mildred said rubbing my back. "One more great push." She said as I shook my head. "I don't want to." I cried. "You must Miss Roslyn! Once more for the babies." She said as I pushed as hard as I could whilst screaming in pain. "I can't do it! Stop it! Stop it!" I screamed loudly, this is the worst pain I have ever experienced in my entire lifetime.
It's like my body is erupting from the inside out. "Come on girl they're almost here, you have to give us another good push," Mildred said to which I pushed once more. "I see a head!" Maggie exclaimed causing me to smile a little as I panted. "Way to go Roz!" Mildred said as I tilted my head back and looked towards the ceiling trying to catch my breath.
To tell you the truth I didn't even think I'd be alive this long. "Slow now Miss Roslyn, catch your breath." Maggie said as I grinded my teeth in pain. "Get them out!" I said as I pushed harder than last time. "The shoulders are out, one more Miss Roslyn! A good hard one!" Sh exclaimed as I screamed the loudest I had before begging for the pain to stop. Just then Tom busted through the door. "What's happening, is she alright?" He said in a panicked voice. "Tom." I called out reaching for him. He rushed forward and grabbed my hand. We both know what is to happen next. "The first one is almost out, one more Miss Roslyn." Maggie spoke. "She is weak let her relax for now." Tom told her to which I shook my head. "They're almost out." I said breathlessly. "Come on Roz you can do it. "Mildred said before I grasped both her and Tom's hands and squeezed them tightly as I pushed once more enduring the pain.
Suddenly a high pitched scream echoed through the room making me smile. "You have a baby boy!" Maggie exclaimed. "He's perfect!" Milly said cheerfully. It seemed unreal to me like a dream. One of life's greatest pleasures has just been bestowed unto me. I didn't get to see my son as he was wrapped in a small blue blanket but I smiled at his little silhouette. My smile suddenly faulted when a wave of lethargy washed over my weak body.
"I want to see him," I said lowly as my vision became hazy. "He's perfect Roslyn, he's so small." Tom said almost in a daze as he was able to see our son.
I couldn't relish in his excitement though I wish I had the time. "Take care of them, Tom," I said as my vision became blurry and I started fluttering my eyelids trying to regain the sight of my loved ones. "What's going on Roslyn? Roslyn can you hear me!" I heard Tom yell while grabbing my shoulders. I know it bothered such an intelligent wizard that he could do absolutely nothing for me. For him it must be like actually living his mother's cruel death and the emotions of his unconventional conception and birth must bother him in ways I couldn't imagine. All he could do is watch me die, and everyone knows Tom's feelings on death. This will destroy him for a long while, but I can only hope that with time he will take the ability to love and put it to good use.
"Maggie you'll need to do a cesarean section for Scarlett," I said, quickly losing my ability to focus. "Miss. Roslyn? Miss. Roslyn!" Maggie exclaimed. "Do something you insufferable house dog!" Tom yelled at Maggie as my senses felt like they were being switched off one by one. "Roslyn everything's is gonna be okay just stay awake," I heard Milly cry. I felt Tom grasping my hand tighter as Maggie began to get out the tools to do a C-section. "Roslyn you can't leave me! What will I do with two children! Roslyn you need to stay here and be with me and twins. We need you, just hang on Roslyn." Tom spoke in the most sincere voice I have ever heard from him. Maybe in his shedding heart he had held onto some hope that maybe I wouldn't die. I don't think he ever accepted it and maybe he never will but at least one person would keep my memory alive even when I am long gone. As I die his ability to love grows stronger and stronger and his next words proved it was nearly intact.
"I wouldn't tell you before but I would do anything for you and the twins. You are my family, the only family I've ever had. Please just.....stay with me." Tom spoke softly setting my heart aflame. With one last smile sad directed at Tom, the room began to spin and my heart rate slowed down. The pain grew worse and worse every second that went by. The cries of my son mixed with the yells of Maggie and Milly filled my ears and my last sight was of a broken and hopeless Tom Riddle. I closed my eyes for good and everything around me went dark and silent. No more screaming and crying, no more pain, no more angel of darkness. I was dead.