Written by: StuckOnYoonGi
Please check her author's note below.
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"Love hurts, sometimes a bit too much."
***
It's the first day of class and I know I look like a total idiot fidgeting in my place as I wait for the bus to arrive.
It has been months since I last stood here in the same bus stop. But that was not the reason why I am looking like a complete weirdo about to poop on her pants.
It was because of the small percentage that I might see the great and asshole of an ex boyfriend:Min.Yoon.Gi.
I know he lives around here. And I woke up way too early to go to class just so I would not bump into him.
I knew he was not a morning person so there's a small chance that we'd see each other here in the bus stop at six in the morning.
Even so, I am still anxious.
I looked around not wanting to be caught off guard. You know, just in case.
Honestly, it's not really a problem to me. I don't really care if I see him or if I bump into him. After all I am not the one who should feel any guilt or what.
It's not my fault that he and his friends has some kind of messed up way of 'having fun' and a beyond funny pranks.
They are just all sick in their stomach in one way or another.
We broke up just when I was really head over heels with him.
I love him to the point that I swayed my routine just to attend on his need. I ditched my whole class just to stay on his apartment and be with him because he said he was lonely. I even went a little off when I tried a few hits of cigarette because I want to impress him, that I am not stiff. I even wore high heels even if it was not my thing because he said I might look good with! And the stupid list goes on.
I mean, I turned a blind eye. Trusted him despite the rumors. Was loyal to him. Tend to his needs. Really. I looked like a girl ready to do eveything for him.
Hell, I was ready to give my V-Card to him if he was keen to ask.
Good thing Jimin saved me. Just in time.
It hurts like hell. Really. I think it goes that way every time you bid goodbye to someone you hold dearly.
I never knew him. Never did I know someone like him existed nor attended the same uni as me. I was not really the type of person to mingle or to care outside my course.
I had little crushes in the campus but they were all just petty infatuations. And almost all of them are either dumb or playboys or fuckboys.
But since he was introduced to me, I have always admired him. Despite his badboy image, I saw his soft side. He might be a dick most of the times but behind those, the sweet gummy smile says he is not all the time a pain in the ass.
Ever since, I looked at him from afar. I never watched his basketball games but I see to it that I knew if he did good or his team won.
He has the looks and he is smart and I really love his I-don't-give-two-flying-fucks attitude.
He is stubborn and hard-headed but he is always, as in always, reasonable.
Well, he used to be.
But I just knew that he will never have the hots for me.
He is a dreamy guy and I could only hope he looks at my direction.
I mean, he was the cool guy, the one that everyone loves despite his badboy image.
And I was only the cynical straight A student who the students love to admire when they need me. But actually they hated me for my OCD when it comes to my grades.
What can I do? I do not have the talents and looks so I have to work hard if I wanted a decent life in the future.
So, it was really a shock to me when he went to me one day, out of nowhere and asked me for my number.
He was really a good guy while our relationship lasted - like how I always knew.
However, it turns out, he is not only smart and all, but also a good actor and an excellent liar.
We've been dating for almost a year already when Jimin, probably out of guilt had confessed about the bet.
The bet that broke my heart and torn it into gazillion pieces possible.
According to Jimin, it started on a dare. Just a simple kiss on the cheeks or a pin on the wall kiss. They've targetted me because, well you know the clichè reason: I was too deep on my studies amd I have to loosen up.
But Yoongi said it was too easy and that I looked like a saint ready for anything he would say: a missionary position or a bj under our professor's table anytime.
I wonder if I really looked like that. But it doesn't matter now.
So they levelled up the dare and thought it was a nice idea to place a bet on me. All Yoongi has to do is ask me out within a week and date me two weeks or so until I fell for him. And then he can dump me and my poor heart.
But it went out of hand after the first bet was done, they had to bet on my V-Card almost a year later.
It really hurt like fuck. No, I mean, I don't know how that actually felt like but yea it hurts like hell.
I grew to love Yoongi and his friends - my friends. They were the only people I got. But it went that way, downhills.
I was in denial for some time, even called Jimin a liar; but when I went to his friends to tell me it was all a sick made-up story, or a prank, they all got their tongue tied thus confirming it.
I was thankful that the revelation was almost academic year end, so I just had to endure a little of them. Also, they were probably too guilty to show me their pretty faces.
For the past weeks after that and also during enrollment, I haven't seen him and somehow, I knew it is bound to happen - us crossing paths. But for now, I thank the heavens for letting our paths on ends.
I walked off the bus and jogged towards the school entrance. It's the first day fo the new academic year. I have to show the world how fucking strong Kang Ahyoung is!
I took in my appearance from the glass door of my course building. Black shirt tucked in short shorts and a pair of army boots that I never thought were too heavy for my liking.
I shortly glanced at my phone's screen to check my eyeliner and perfectly drawn eyebrows and my stoplight-red lips.
It took me a whole two months to learn how to use make up because well, they are all new to me.
My style has changed. Drastically.
Gone was the prim and proper girl easily fooled by 'I like you' and 'you are pretty'.
Goodbye Taylor Swift. Goodbye sunny dress, curly hair and rimmed-eyeglasses.
Hello dark side. Gothic chic, contact lenses and dark lipstick.
And I liked it. It feels better now than I am at it than just thinking about it.
Some early students looked at me with confused eyes. Probably asking what the freaking hell happened to goody two shoed Kang Ahyoung.
And who is this dark bad-ass girl.
Well? They can all suck it up. Not everyone is fond of being the nice girl forever.
"Ahyoung-ah? Ahyoung-ah!" Called someone from behind me. I snapped my head towards the voice only to see an angel-like face, who in reality is Satan's mini me.
I rolled my eyes and continued walking faster.
"Yah! Ahyoung-ssi!" He shouted again. "Wait!"
"What do you want Kim Taehyung?" I asked him not really meaning it.
"I was wondering if you could help me with Calculus this sem." He said, keeping up my pace.
I ignored him. How can he show up his face after all the things they've done to me?
"And this is for you." He took my hand and placed a small keychain, a small folded eyeglasses dangling on it's edge.
I eyed him and raised my eyebrows. He looked taken aback. I was not really the kind of person to snap or what.
But who says heartbreaks don't change a person?
"I got it from my vacay in New York, I thought of you when I saw it." He explained and gave me a boxy smile.
"Thanks." I muttered and put it inside my shorts' pocket. I may be angry and hurt and still in denial but this is a gift.
And okay, I take it back. Taehyung isn't exactly satan's mini me though he is devilishly handsome, his attitude isn't as evil as lucifer. He is one of the few friends I made during the time I was with Yoongi.
He is the sweetest, challenging with Jimin and Jungkook.
But actually he is too sweet for his own good. That's what I observed.
He has a fair share of the girls in this university who would kneel down for him in just a gesture of his hands.
But that's what's wrong. He is too sweet and caring that the girls mistaken it to flirting or him wanting to date them.
He is not the one night stand kind of guy. I never heard of him taking a girl home for some steamy sex. He is too childish for those. And if any, he is really a gentleman and a loving friend.
I know he doesn't want to hurt those girls. So he is courteous in rejecting every single girl's proposal and confessions. Saying he isn't really the type to date.
Thus earning his name 'Taehyung the Heartbreaker'.
His poor little self just got involved in the bet and all, that's why I am slightly hating on him.
"Please? Ahyoung? Just for Calculus. Promise I would be good and I will try my best."
"I don't know Taehyung. Why don't you ask your smarty pants favorite asshole of a manwhore?" I said with a sweet smile.
"Yoongi Hyung? Aren't you too in good terms yet? You were supposed to celebrate your annivesary in Jejudo, right? How was it?" His innocent eyes were sparkling.
I thought he knew we broken up before the sem ends? Or is he just testing me?
I eyed him suspiciously. He gave me a smile with his eyes close. He is being playful.
I closed my eyes and shok my head. He is testing me. I decided. And I hate it.
"I could just ask Yoongi Hyung but I know he ain't the patient person. He is smart and all but he can be a monst---" I didn't hear the rest.
Min Yoongi. Min Yoongi. Min Yoongi.
Just hearing his name makes my blood boil.
"Please stop talking to me Taehyung. Go find yourself another girl to fool this sem." I snapped, turning the next corner leaving him standing there.
If he did not mention his name, he probably got my help.
"I'll see you later! By the way, you look so cool in your new style Ahyoung! I love the eyes!" He shouted, earning me a few deadly glare from the girls around. I can only growl in frustration.
So much for the Sweet Heartbreaker.
-
I sat in the cafeteria waiting for the first bell after lunch, browsing my schedule card aimlessly.
"Sup Ahyoung-ah?" I rolled my eyes, slumped my shoulder and growled in frustration.
I knew that voice sounds trouble.
Jin, Namjoon and Hoseok sat on the bench across me; while Jungkook sat beside me wrapping his arms around my shoulder - a habit he has grown to do and I have no complain of.
"Get away from me users." I muttered. I felt Kookie stiffened on my sudden statement.
Nobody dared to talk. I placed my arms on the table and straightened my back, trying hard to look intimidating.
They all looked at me astounded. Namjoon cleared his throat and everyone looked everywhere but my eyes.
"Ahyoung. Can we talk?" Jin asked, his tone a little sorry and serious.
"We are already talking." I answered sarcastically.
"No. I mean, talk. Like talk seriously."
"Yes, I can talk seriously but not with you liars."
"I get it you are angry Ahyoung, but you at least have to listen to us." Namjoon finally looked into my eyes.
I let out a wry laugh and a huge snort.
This is getting funny.
I don't know where I am getting such a brave front.
"Just when I thought I could start a new fucking life this year, here are assholes lurking around probably with another good plan on their plate. Eat up on innocent girls. Hurt them, play with them and leave them in the dump.
"Seriously guys, advice. Announce an official name for your team. Let me think... "Assholes Ready to Take a Bet on Girls' V-Card." I declared sarcastically, complete with my hand gestures.
I am probably too much.
But hey, there isn't enough for a girl's broken heart.
"I should probably just have transferred to another uni, shouldn't I? So I could have avoided some pretty faces with an evil heart." I blabbered.
They all looked down. I see hurt in their eyes.
I knew I should have given them the benefit of the doubt, let them explain at least once.
But I just can't. I have the right to refuse, right? I have every fucking right to be hurt and treat them how I think they should be treated.
Be vindictive.
They should be treated the worse. After all they only did not give me a wound on the knees. This wound would scar for life. They tupped my feelings and turned me into a fucking idiot, oblivious that she was being used and made fun of all these months.
So, here I am trying to act tough and intimidating by calling them names, hurting them as much as they hurt me.
But inside I am dying.
I missed them so much despite the hurt I am feeling. I want to take back what I said and what they did and just forget everything. But they've got to take responsibility for what they did or they will never learn.
Breaking hearts or playing with people's feelings isn't exactly a good thing to get used to.
No matter how beautiful you are, smart gifted or rich you are - you have no right to mess with people's feeling because what? You are just bored?
That's just so messed up.
Maybe that is one of the reason as well, why I was afraid of talking to them and seeing especially Yoongi. I am afraid to confront him and hear his explanation no matter what it is.
Because I knew one sorry and explanation especially from him, I will take him back again without another word. Call me idiot or insane but I knew I would take him back in a heartbeat. Or if he did not want anything to do with me, I am going to beg him to take me back.
Because I love him and he has earned a space in my poor heart; so as these boys.
I knew I'd forgive them the moment I put my guard down again, when they flash their puppy eyes. And I will return to the same fragile Ahyoung again.
I'd forgive them and move on. After all that would be much easier than holding on to anger, right?
Despite the bet, I knew that what happened, what we shared at least a part of it is true. It has to be true. There's just need to be a part, just a little of those lies must be sincere.
"Bogoshipda, Noona." Jungkook snaked his arms on my waist and pulled me closer, nuzzled on my neck where my once black hair, now ash-grey locks sprawled.
"I miss the old you noona." He said. "I just miss you noona, we all do." His voice was a whisper, cracking on the end.
My poor baby Kookie.
I bit back a cry.
If this is in a different setting, I would have kissed him on the cheeks after pinching it. Throw him my sweetest smile and coo him to my arms, hug him tight, ruffle his hair and baby him like I always do.
But no. This ain't the same. I left that Ahyoung in the dump. She's dying with her heart on the brick. Because she was weak and she could not last a day without these seven boys on her side.
She thought she could not live without Yoongi.
But that's wrong now.
"You miss the fool fucking idiot Ahyoung, Jungkook." I pried his hands on my waist, stood up collecting my things.
"You use the a and f words too much, Ahyoung. It doesn't suit you." Namjoon commented.
I stopped on my tracks and looked at them in the eyes. They seemed prepared now on whatever I am going to say in contrary to their sorry eyes earlier.
And Namjoon? Who the fuck does he think he is for commenting that?
I gave him a smirk. "I can fucking use whatever shitty word I want to fucking say, asshole. This is my freaking mouth and this is my shitty life. You have no crap to do about this bitch.
"Oh well, I forgot. You have successfully messed up the very peaceful life of this whore. And now, you can suck up whatever I have become idiot because you did this to me. Now, go scatter like faggots that you are, heartless monsters."
I managed to say in clenched jaw. My heart pounded so hard in my chest I feel like it would come out. I was catching my breath so hard, I could have ran a marathon.
I wanted to shout so badly, punch someone or threw things but I got to bottle it up for now.
I don't want guidance card on the first day of class.
"Yoongi Hyung did not enrol, Ahyoung." Hoseok said right when I was about to leave.
Wh-what? He did not? Why would he do that?! Of all people he should be the first to know that this year is crucial. He needs the internship and...
Oh well...
"The hell I care." I said, not really meaning it. Or probably meaning it. I don't know.
I am confused. My heart is softening on the cracks. But I should be beyond angry as well. I am beyond angry.
"He needs you right now." Jin added.
With all the remaining strength in my body, I faced them, gripped the strap of my bag to avoid hitting the table or slapping someone in the face.
Or falling on my knees and crying.
"Again. The hell I fucking care."
I said it with perfect conviction. But I don't feel amazing at all.
***
Sorry there was no cheesy scene or sweet stuffs. I should have probably warned y'all that I can't write happy stories. This is inspired by a real-life story, btw. And I am actually torn - have been torn for quite a while now - if I should publish the story or not. Hahaha. Will you support it tho if ever? Lol.
(But yay! I published it on Twitter entitled Fake Love: Tear Off Then Fix - @StuckOnYoonGi - along with my votes for BTS @BBMAs #iVoteBTSBBMAs 🎙🎤)
I hope you enjoyed this One-Shot, though I don't think this really is one. Hahaha. Give me a feedback - dm me or comment down below if it ain't too much. It would really help.
Btw, thanks to Yoon and the In-house writers. The stories here aslre great 😁 And to the readers and supporters, you rock, guys!
I Purple You, eung? 💜