Blair's P. O. V.
It's been a year since i've been in Australia. A year since I started dating Hoppo. I can't believe i've been here that long. Time flies.
Hoppo and I have started discussing marriage. Yeah, I know. It's crazy. Jake started dating a girl about two months ago. Her name is Jenny, she's really great. We've become good friends. But yeah, I get a weird feeling in my chest every time I see them together.
Hoppo and I are at dinner and we've been talking about our future. About marriage.
"So you would be okay moving into my house?"
I nod, "Yeah definitely. A house is better than an apartment"
He grins, "Perfect. "
I bite my lip, "How many kids do you want?"
Hoppo frowns, "I already have two kids. And i'm almost 50. I don't think I want any more kids"
I take a deep breath, "Oh. Wow. I want kids. I want to be a mom!"
He reaches across the table, grabbing my hand, "You'll be like a mother to my daughters"
I shake my head, "No, it's not the same. I want to be pregnant for 9 months and give birth. I want to have that special bond. "
Hoppo lets go of my hand and sighs, "I'm sorry Blair, but i'm not budging on that. I'm too old to have any more kids. "
I look at him with pain on my face before standing up, "I can't be with you. I can't marry you if you won't have any more kids"
Then I walk out of the restaurant. I rode with him so I start the walk back to my apartment. When I get there, I cry my eyes out. I love Hoppo, I do. But we don't want the same things. So I can't waste any more time with him.
After about 10 minutes, there's a knock on my door. I open it and see Hoppo. He walks in and we go sit down on the couch.
I can tell he's been crying too. He looks at me, "You really want kids?"
I nod, thinking he's going to agree. But he sighs, "Then I can't hold you back. You deserve to be with someone who can give you what you want"
I bite my lip as tears stream down my face, "So we're really over. This is it"
He nods, crying also, "I guess it is"
Hoppo scoots forward and kisses me then pulls me into a hug, "I love you"
I smile and squeeze him tight, "I love you too"
Then he gets up and leaves. I sit there looking at the door that he just went through. I can't believe it's over. A whole year of my life, wasted.
***
It's been a week. I took a week off work because I had to go home. And by home, I mean America. I went and saw Sophia and Brad and my family. But today is my first day back.
I'm sitting in the tower when Hoppo walks in. He stops when he sees me, "Hey Blair, glad you're back"
I nod, "Glad to be back"
He leaves and Jesse looks at me, "Why are you guys so awkward?"
I laugh, "We broke up before I went to America"
Jesse's eyes shoot out of his head, "What? He bought an engagement ring!"
I bite my lip. I didn't know he had actually bought one. I sigh, "I wanted kids. He didn't. So it's over. It was an amicable split. We'll always love each other but we won't be together anymore"
Jesse sighs, "Man, i'm sorry Blair. That's heavy. To take your mind off of it, a lot of us guys are going out tonight. Come please! I won't let you mope around by yourself at your apartment"
I smile at him, "Sure, i'd love to come"
***
Jesse and I just got to the parking lot of the club we're going to. All the boys are waiting in the parking lot so we can go in together!
When we get there, Chris says, "Blair! You're not having a quiet night in with the old man?"
I bite my lip as Jesse quickly says, "Everyone, meet single Blair"
Everyone looks shocked. No one makes a noise. I chuckle, "Cmon guys, it's fine. You don't all have to be awkward"
My eyes immediately find Jake, then I see Jenny standing next to him. She quickly comes up to me, hugging me, "Don't worry babe! We'll all cheer you up!"
I give her a fake smile then look at Jake. He looks conflicted. We all file inside the club, immediately parting ways to either get a table, drinks, or go dance.
Jesse says, "Don't worry. I know it's been a year since you've been in the single life. So I won't desert ya. I'll look out for ya"
I laugh, "Thanks Jesse. It does feel weird to be here, single"
We go and get drinks then start moving around. Jess and I are standing against the wall when he says, "Oi, some of my mates are over there! I'm going to go say hi. Will you be okay by yourself or do you want to come along?"
I laugh, "I'll be fine, go ahead. "
He nods and says, "I'll be back"
I watch as he walks over, hugging his mates. I stand alone for a few minutes before a guy approaches me, "Hi, i'm John"
I smile, "Hi, Blair"
He shakes my hand, "You're stunning. Can I buy you a drink?"
I raise my brows and hold my drink up, "I already have one. Thanks though"
The guy just doesn't stop, "Fancy a dance then?"
I shake my head, "No, i'm okay"
This guy will not leave me alone. Suddenly, I hear, "Hey babe, sorry that took so long. The line for the toilets was massive"
I turn and see Jake next to me as he sets his arm around my waist. The guy, John, says, "My bad man"
Then he leaves. I look at Jake, "Thank you"
He shrugs, "No problem. "
We stand there in silence for a bit then he says, "You remember the last time we were here together?"
I look at him in shock, remembering what happened, "Yeah, I do. "
He smiles at me, "That was a good night"
I blush, "Yeah, it was. I wish we could go back to that night"
"Me too"
I'm shocked he said that. I look around, "Where's Jenny?"
Jake says, "She saw some of her girlfriends in here so she went to dance with them for a bit"
I nod, "Oh okay. She's sweet"
He chuckles, "Uh, yeah, she is"
I take a tiny step closer to him, trying not to be obvious, "How have you been? Since the accident?"
He immediately knows i'm talking about when the guy drowned, "Uh, I still have nightmares sometimes. It's always going to stick with me. Jenny, she uh- she doesn't understand. So I don't really talk to her about it"
I let my hand hang down, reaching out and discreetly touching his hand. He moves his hand closer, entwining our fingers together.
I look out at the crowd of sweaty people dancing, "Jake, if you ever need to talk about it. Or just anything. Even though you're dating Jenny, you can always come to me. "
He pulls on my hand, making me look at him. He's staring at me intensely, "I know, Blair. And same with you. If you ever need to talk. Actually, can I ask you what happened with you and Hoppo- Actually, let's go outside and talk"
I nod and we go outside and end up sitting in the same place where we kissed for the first time over a year ago. He sighs, "So yeah, you and Hoppo?"
I take a deep breath, "He had started throwing around the idea of marriage. We had discussed basically everything involved in joining two lives together. Then I mentioned kids and he told me that he didn't want more kids. He tried to say I could be like a mother to his daughters. But obviously that isn't the same. We had gotten into an argument about kids before. About 6 months ago. But we brushed it under the rug and I guess I thought he would change his mind. But he never did. So we both agreed that we shouldn't be together. "
Jake shakes his head, "Wow, Blair, i'm sorry. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. You spent a whole year with him"
I bite my lip, "I wasted a whole year with him that I could have been spending with someone else"
Jake looks at me and I can tell he knows what i'm trying to say. He licks his lips, "Blair, I-"
I shake my head, "I'm sorry. You're with Jenny, so-"
"No, Blair, that's not what I was going to say," He stops but I stay silent as he just looks at me, "I wanted you more than anything. And I thought you felt the same way. But then suddenly you were with Hoppo! Our 48 year old boss! And the way I felt when you told me that, I can't even explain it. But now you're single and i'm with Jenny. "
I nod, "I know. I know. I'm sorry. This is totally inappropriate. You're in a relationship. And your girlfriend is inside there. So you should go be with her instead of sitting out here with me. Go on. "
Jake sighs, "Blair-"
I smile, "Go. I'll be okay"
He nods and stands up, kissing the top of my head before walking inside. I sit there and lay my head in my hands. Why did I waste a year that I could've spent with him? But he's happy. So i'll move on.