Chapter 61
Period.
Drop the Game - Flume
~~~~~~~~
Dustin's POV
It's been 4 months since I ran away from the campsite. I was aware of my faults, crimes and the stupid things I've done. I thought in some way I was helping her. I thought things would somehow work out fine... I genuinely believed that. And somewhere deep down I still hope that.
I grew obsessive of Skye, through the journey of taking care of her from afar and the meaningfulness of wanting to help her grew to an infatuation of needing her always. I was so intent on fixing my mess that I fell in love with her in the process.
After that day in the camp of holding Skye's frail body in my hands while she suffered a seizure from head trauma, I knew I had to escape. My mind was getting clouded of all things that were her, it was unhealthy and fixated. When Jace came to her rescue, yet again... I saw him as the man I wanted to be. I wanted to be her hero, her saviour and her boyfriend.
A tinge of jealousy coursed through me as I watched Jace hold her in his arms. But that image was only a repeat. A repeat from the time I saw him hold her in the middle of the road, tears in his eyes and panic, and Skye almost lifeless.
I was bitter and jealous, some part of my brain sincerely thought I could make up for all horrible things I've done and all the pain I've caused.
And yet, the fucked up part of me instinctively thought .. run.
Sooner or later they'll figure out who I am and what I've done. I'd ruin my name, my family's name.. Gah, I sound just like my cruel parents. Caring more of my image than the crime that I've committed.
That day I also got threatening messages from Kaycee. She was in town and she was ready to stir up all kinds of drama. She was genuinely excited to meet Skye and all those around her, she was thrilled to ruin me and the work that I've put. Even if I got away with that day in camp, she'd turn up and reveal the truth. She relished in the idea of merciless plans, because if she wants something, she'll get it... nothing and no one would stop her.
Once I showed Jace the way back to camp, I immediately went to my tent and grabbed my belongings and stuffed it in my bag. I left the tent up, I didn't want them to know I was gone. Walking out I bumped into Carolina, I mumbled a response along the lines of going to sketch somewhere and then I left.
I since then went back to the city and resumed my life of debutante balls and money making but I still kept a low profile. It made my parents beyond happy to have me back, but it made Kaycee fuelled with hatred. I haven't responded to her or allowed her to get to me, I only know now that she now has moved into the house I once occupied.. right next to Skye's.
I have never loved a girl like I loved Skye. But then again, I don't know if I was in love with her or the idea of her. A day has not gone by without her on my mind. Her light brown waves, her hazel eyes so darn close to being gold, her intoxicating laugh.. her smile, her dirty mind and everything that was her.
I've changed my number since then, there's no way other way that Skye or anyone from there could contact me. I know now that's she's in safe hands by many loved ones, she doesn't need me, want me, I'm just causing more pain for her. I was what was holding her back from flourishing, I was triggering her harsh memories, I was selfish and keeping her to myself.
I sat in my penthouse that overlooked the ocean and the city. I was 50 stories high and the view was impeccable. I sat in the lounging area that was all windows allowing the day light to shine through. It was sunrise, the warm sun setting the whole apartment in a orange glaze. I painted away at the canvas in front of me, the muse being the girl I once knew. The girl on my piece was walking towards the sunrise, bare back and a white flowing lace skirt falling down to her feet. She was almost floating as the ground wasn't concrete or grass, it was a transparency of the warm colours of the morning dew.
"That's beautiful.." Macy whispered behind me, wrapping her arms around my waist and kissing my bare shoulder and then neck.
"Thanks." I mumbled back, completely focused on the piece.
I had met Macy last night at one of my father's company celebrations. A tall lean 23 year old light haired girl, now in my collared shirt and nothing else.
"That's a surprise.." Macy mutters, taking a seat beside me on the lounging set.
"What is?" I glance at her, still painting.
"I heard so many relentless things about you.." She pursed her lips and put her leg over the other, leaning on her leg she gazes up at me, "Put the obvious and good things aside like you being completely talented, charming, handsome and sexy.. there was the other interesting rumours that put you in a bad light."
I chuckled to myself, I am not surprised there. "And what are these rumours that dampen my reputation?"
"Oh.. just things like, you being a man whore. Going through women and then tossing them aside like dirty laundry. Or, you being completely egotistical and up yourself.. pretty much along the lines of a stereotypical prissy rich boy. Not thinking of others, you'd put yourself before anyone else no matter who it hurt."
Leaning a little closer to me, she gives me a bright smile. "And the surprise.. those rumours being completely wrong."
I returned a small smile but it wasn't genuine, because all those rumours were true. Probably still is true. The past year and a half may have softened me, but the events after that only made me more of a coward, a selfish bastard who couldn't face his own wrongs.
I had finished up my painting and then went for another round of strokes with Macy. A couple of hours later she had showered and left, and I was in the shower getting ready for the day.
Exiting the shower, I wrapped a towel around my waist and combed my wet hair with my hands. I looked at myself in the mirror, the very muscular bronze body that stood in front of me made me sick. That person is sick, for all the things that they did commit.
I looked away and continued getting ready for the day. I dressed in blue slacks, brown leather shoes, a white collared shirt tucked in with a dark blue tie to match the pants. I blew dry and lightly gelled my caramel waves back. I avoided looking at myself in the mirror as I fixed up my watch and sprayed myself with cologne.
I can't look at myself, I can't face my own image.
I grabbed my phone, wallet and keys and left. I went in the elevator to one of the parking levels, or my parking level. I slid into my jet black Aston Martin and headed to my mother's work. Driving through the city sucks, maybe I should've just gotten my driver to take me.
The Louvre - Lorde
After I had entered the high rise building and parked, I headed to my mother's level that was at the very top. As the elevator opened, I observed how all the workers from young interns to middle aged receptionists to gay designers stared me down, some in awe, others drooling, and others whispering. Being fonded over I never got tired of, its flattering and does boost my ego, maybe a little too much.
"Hello there Dustin." My mother's main assistant Kathryn greeted me. Long legs, long brown hair and a pretty face, 26 and Gucci galore. I remember wanting to nail her just as much as she wanted to do me, but I no longer feel that pull. We had small flirty talk as she lead me to my mother's office. "Did you want.." Kathryn's eyes gazed over me longingly and gave a flirty smile, "A tall flat white?"
"No thank you Kathryn, but maybe next time." I returned the smile but not as flirtatious.
2 years ago me would punch myself now. Current me would punch myself 2 years ago.
Kathryn opened the wide glass door for me, and as I entered I was greeted immediately with a very happy mother. "Dustin! My love!" My mother Camilla called, embracing me in her arms. Her entire exterior from the top of her head to her toes was Chanel and Hermes. "Oh how I've missed you!"
"But I just saw you the other day." I let go and gave her a charming smile.
"Maybe so but it still felt like forever, I suppose I'm still recovering from your very long absence." Her eyes dulled a little but was quickly bright again. "Anyways," she led me out of her office to the work filled room with fashion designers and creators, "Do you remember my good friend and fellow colleague Janet Neviar?"
Janet Neviar stood radiantly, with a handshake and a smile. "Its been a while Dustin, I haven't seen you since you were 12. Oh how much you've grown and matured, now a young handsome man." Janet gave a gracious smile and stood by my mother.
"Oh, Janet do you remember when our sons hung out that one time!" My mother gushed causing them to reminisce. Hung out?.. Jace?
"Yes! That one summer Jace was able to stay for a bit and we took the boys to a that youth fundraiser, oh that was lovely!"
What.. I don't remember this
"Do you remember that Dustin? When you and Jace were 12, Janet and I took you to that parade? It had rides and stalls to fundraise?" My mum looked at me.
I shook my head as a silent no. I don't recall Jace and I ever hanging out. That's so weird..
"Oh, how is Jace?"
"Ah, he's well and healthy but his best friend and girlfriend is not. Lovely girl she is, her family is the one that took in Jace when we were unable to be home much when he was younger." Janet's smile became small.
"Oh they sound like lovely people. Is the girl alright? What happened?" My mother looked sympathetically at Janet.
"Her name is Skye, beautiful girl she is. A year and a half ago she was involved in an accident, a hit and run that caused a coma and post traumatic amnesia. Recently her head pains have returned causing seizures and other kinds of side effects. That family has been through so much and still remain so humble and generous.."
Skye is still suffering? She's still having seizures and head pains??
My pang of pain spread through my chest, inside I was in complete panic. I was hoping that the past months have lead a road to recovery and that she was better than ever. I imagined her happy, her usual dirty minded self, walking around in confidence and joy. I put this picture in my mind to reassure she was okay, another bullshit lie I told myself.
"H-how is Skye currently?" My voice broke in the beginning but I tried to immediately cover it.
"Her mother Tris has told me that the past month she's been in and out of hospital, doctor appointments and constant medication and drips. She's hasn't been too well, I pray that her health doesn't decay any further from here.."
I looked down, I could feel myself on the brink of tears. I had to swallow them back but needed to soon leave and have privacy. I coughed trying to get myself together, "She sounds like a strong girl."
"She is.. thank you Dustin." Janet gave me a warm smile.
"Well, I must get back to work. Coffee at 3 Janet?" My mum suddenly says with a wit of a smile.
"As always Camilla." Janet gave a chirp response back. "Lovely to see you again Dustin, keep up the wonderful art."
I nodded with a smile in return and followed my mother's gesture towards her office. Locking from behind me, she grabbed a magazine and rolled it with her fingers clenching it.
"Skye... is that the girl that you hit with the car?" She breathed heavy and looked me straight in the eyes, "Is that the girl you left 6 months for? To try to fix?"
I avoided her eyes and breathed in, "She wasn't a project.. maybe in the beginning that's what I stupidly thought, but she wasn't. I went there to take care of her, to look after her..."
My mother bitterly laughed, "And did you? Does she know who you are?"
I shook my head and grit my teeth. "That sister of yours.. Kaycee, that brat has non stop been contacting me to try to get to you. She's been saying all sorts of things, one being about Skye." She walked around to her desk and put her palms on the table.
She sighed looking at me sympathetically, "Your sister is up to no good Dustin, I don't know what she's going to do with Skye but she never does anything decent or befriends anyone because she likes them."
-"I know we were against the accident ordeal and you owning up to it, but the fact you did so much behind our backs to save this girl and help her get back on her feet shows me how compassionate you are. You really care for this girl, don't you?"
I looked up at my mother and nodded, my lips close to trembling.
"You're an adult now, we shouldn't be ruling out or ruling in things. You do as you please, even if it causes friction to our companies and name." She sighed and sat down, "Dustin I love dearly, I want you to spend your life the way you want even though technically you have been. But if it comes to making mistakes, then you do need to learn not cover it up. If you need our help, we are here but if you want to go abouts it on your own, then that's your choice."
-"Kaycee however is a trouble on her own. I suggest you do what you need to... because Skye is not safe in Kaycee's hands."
I held my face in my hands in conflicted anger towards Kaycee and myself, "But mum.. Skye is not safe in my hands either!" I looked up red faced, "Don't you get it? I made her the way she was, nearly dying on MULTIPLE occasions. I may have went to her and tried to somehow ease her pain, but that small ease is nothing compared to the pain, tears and emotional trauma I caused her, her family and friends. If I continued to think such a selfish thing, I'd still be there with her but it took me awhile to realise how toxic and manic I am."
I paced around the room, sadness and anger building inside me. "God mum, she is the most beautiful person I have ever seen. Not only in looks but inside, her personality shines through all that's she's gone through. She changed my life so much, she made me believe that there was more than the superficiality of the world." I sniffed back the tears. "I fell in love with her mum! I fell in love with the girl I nearly killed!"
I fell to my knees breaking down crying, my mother came to my side rubbing my back and hushing encouraging words in my ears. "No, you don't understand. I am not a good person! I not only nearly killed her but I grew an obsession of needing to protect her, I felt the need to keep her to myself and distance herself from anyone else. I did not intend this mum.." The tears choked me, "I did not intend to."
"I always thought I was better than Kaycee, but it turns out I am worse.. so much worse."
"Dustin, it's okay, hush.. its okay." My mother tried, she did but her voice was in the distance and it got smaller and smaller.
I stood up shaking my head. "I've got to get out of here." I said it stern and wiped away the tears, I took out my sunnies and put it on to hide away my red eyes.
"Dustin.." My mum soothed but I cut her off, "I'm sorry mother, I need to go."
I exited the door and sped walk to the elevator with my head down. I could feel eyes on me and could hear whispers. I didn't bother.
When You Break – Bear's Den
The second I got into my car, I drove to my home. I went inside and was wrecked. The whole drive home I bawled my eyes out. I cried over my sins, I cried because I nearly killed a person, I cried for all the pain I caused, emotionally, mentally and physically. I cried because I self-loathed myself, I cried over all my disgusting traits of narcissism, cowardness, seducing and using women, vanity and more. I cried over the guilt, I cried over all that was bottled up inside.. I cried over my love for Skye and how real and almost touchable it was, I cried over knowing I'd never be able to have her love me genuinely back, not once she finds about it all. I cried over the past toxic year and half was even though the sunshine through it was her. I cried over heartbreak, I cried over the love that Jace and Skye has because I know I will never have that, I cried over Skye and I cried over all that was once mine, even if it was just for a split second... and that was Skye.
Money can't buy happiness, it just can't.
When I entered my home I felt my sadness turn into rage. I slammed the front door behind me and went to my kitchen, I poured a glass of whiskey then stopped. I will not become an alcoholic like my father. I glared at the glass then picked it up, "No.. you will not be a ruthless, money-hungry, abusive, alcoholic piece of scum like your father is." I threw the glass against the wall and watched it shatter.
I got another glass and threw it against the wall again, and then another, and another.
Before I knew it I had trashed my place from top to bottom.
I'll just get the cleaning service to clea- no. No. I will clean up my own mess, like I should've cleaned up the art room that day Skye and I had a paint fight. Clean up my own mess like all the lies and betrayals that I've made. All that mess needs to be cleaned by the person who made it.
I don't know how many hours went by but the time I had finished cleaning up the penthouse it had turned dark. My sleeves rolled to my elbows with my entire clothes covered with liquid, paint, feathers and sin.
I walked to my bathroom and put on the shower, I took off my shirt and tie as I walked towards the mirror. I threw water on my face and leant against the sink, I looked up and saw my reflection. A blurry reflection that gave me back an image of a person that wore a façade, a fabrication of glory, Gucci, girls and grandeur. I stared at my image, daring it to reveal itself for who it really is, a pathetic, worthless filth of a person.
I grit my teeth and punched the mirror at the taunting duplicate. I watched it crack beneath my fist and shards of glass go into my skin and others fall off. I pulled my fist back and watched the few cuts and stabs bleed. I stared curiously as the blood dropped down to the floor and other parts oozing down my hand.
I stared with the thought going through my head, Skye lost so much more blood.
I shook my head of the thought and rinsed the blood off my hand. Taking off the rest of my clothes, I got into the shower allowing the warm water to cover me.
I washed myself of all that I was, I hoped all my guilt, all the lies, the crimes, everything that ever happened washed away with the blood, dirt and grime. I'm not sure how long I was in the shower for but I wanted it to be forever. It was a temporary bliss.
When I finally got out of the shower, outside I was squeaky clean but inside I was dirtier than a bin chicken eating a pigeons ass.
Lovely image.
I cringed at the thought and flinched at the new wound. I attended myself and changed my clothes into some grey sweats and a tee. I was starving but then again all day I kept being fed emotional baggage. So I got full with a lot of main meals of fuck all.
I skimmed through my fridge that held leftovers of take out, milk and one yoghurt. All I do get is take out and room service. I sighed and opened my pantry, it was filled with a lot of random things but what caught my eye was the cookie jar. I smiled to myself, if Skye was here she would've found it almost immediately and smuggled it into her jacket without sharing.
I grabbed the jar, heated up some milk and poured it in a glass then sat on the lounge. I reached over for the remote and flicked through the channels, I exhaled and turned off the TV which then disappeared into the wall.
I dipped a cookie into the milk and enjoyed my little leisure time, the little leisure time to make me stop fucking crying.
I'm on a rollercoaster of emotions, I can't stop crying, my whole body hurts, I'm bleeding and I'm stuffing my face with something sweet.
Great,
I'm on my period.
I sat and stared at the wall allowing all my thoughts stock up till I could no longer think anymore. I thought of what to do next because my next move will change everything. The next decision I make will put my life into perspective and will tell me what my next 5 years will be. I also thought of the fear, the fear of returning to Skye and seeing her love life grow, the fear of the truth, the fear of getting close again, the fear of loving her in complete suffocation.
All sorts of thoughts consumed me, good, bad and worrying.
2 years ago I was a city boy who was very lucky, I got everything I wanted, I had the whole world at my feet. Now? I'm a lost boy who is wrong, ruined everything they had, knows the whole world would ruin him if he tells the truth. Forget the whole world, if Skye knew... I wouldn't be able to handle it if she hated me but I could also completely understand why.
When I looked down I realised I finished all the cookies in the jar. I was craving for more. I now know why Skye is addicted.
Buzz
One message received from unknown number.
'New number saved brother. Look what I found, isn't this just too cute?' a image appeared under the text, it was a photograph of a picture frame that had Skye and Jace posing silly as kids. I recognised the background, it was Skye's room.
Kaycee is in Skye's house? What the hell!
I won't even question how she got my new number, I'm questioning how she got into Skye's house and is holding her belongings.
Kaycee is capable of many despicable things, she's pitiless and cruel. I was scared, I am scared. I don't know what'd she do to Skye and I know she wants to hurt me, and hurting Skye would be the most painful act towards me.
Out here I am safe from Kaycee's wrath but I'm not safe from my own, out here Skye's safe from me but there she's not safe from Kaycee.
It's time.
~~~~~~~
Holy Ghost – BORNS
Jace's POV
I shut Skye's door behind me and locked it. I watched her innocent eyes look up at me as she sat down on her bed.
Her mind may have been completely explicit and provocative but when it came to physical please, she was the most innocent lil cookie.
I walked towards her window and shut the blinds, allowing only a bit of sunlight to peak through.
I turned back to her and I lost my breath.
She sat there slowly unbuttoning her shirt revealing a red lace bra. I've never seen her in anything but a sports bra. This was just... this was ... I can't grasp. My heart began beating fast and my breath hitched, I could feel my palms sweating.
She slowly took off the rest of her shirt and then threw it to the side. I stared in disbelief and awe. Heat was uprising and filling this room, soon I'd only have a few breaths left.
She was so beautiful. Her light brown hair down and brushed back revealing her bare tan shoulders. I walked over and traced my finger along her collar bone, I then kneeled in front of her and kissed it. She leant her head back as I continued kissing her collar bone up to her shoulders and then neck. She let out soft moans and then tugged my hair pulling me back so she could see my face.
"I love you Jace..." Her hazel eyes boring into mine. The heat and spare was so strong, it was more than a electric current coursing through us. It was also like we were weightless and light. Tingles surrounded me everywhere, spreading like light touches on every part of my body.
I looked into her beautiful eyes and cupped her cheek with one hand, "I love you too Skye."
My eyes shot awake, adjusting to the morning light that filled Skye's room.
Why did that beautiful, oh so beautiful dream end. It felt so real, from every touch to every inner feeling. Why did it have to end...
I heard a stir come from beside me and I smiled to myself, just as happy again knowing Skye was beside me. Skye stirred and turned, "Oh Good Morning Jace."
But it wasn't Skye.
It was Kaycee in only a bra and underwear.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
I shot up awake, panting and sweating from that dream that turned into a nightmare. Panicking, I tried to slow my breathing.
"mhmmm cookie nom munch." A sleepy Skye mumbled in her sleep. I leaned over checking it was definitely her, and it was. I sighed in relief and laid back down in a comfortable position, wrapping an arm around Skye and pulling her back into my chest, "Nu! Give me my FUGGIN cookies back BECH." Skye sleep talked, fighting to whomever it was, cookie monster or not.
I laughed to myself kissing her bare shoulder. Bare because she was in a single and pj shorts. Fully clothed. No red lace bra and panties.
I frowned to myself. I want that dream back but when the real thing happens it'll only make that dream full in comparison.
I cringed to myself thinking back to the dream that turned into nightmare. Kaycee in undergarments made me want to cry and not in a good way. Remotely thinking of another woman other than Skye makes me sick to my stomach, sure I had former lovers and hook ups but that was because I thought I'd never get the girl of my dreams. And now that I have her, I'm not going to throw her out for a cheap hook up.
What's the point in that? Don't you just want to grow and get closer and closer to the love of your life? Grow in all sorts of ways, whether its age and/or experience. I want to see Skye and only Skye in all sorts of nice fitting clothing that cups all her curves, I only want to see Skye in the full nude, I only want to touch, feel and hold her.
Does it not excite you to know that this person, this beautiful strong unimpeachable person is Your soulmate? And that you get to marry them, have babies and spend the rest of your lives together till you grow old. Isn't that just amazing?
Or in Skye's terms,
Amazeberries.
"Heh." Skye mumbled in her sleep allowing a little giggle escape.
I smiled and whispered to myself, "I wonder what she's laughing at."
"Mm.." Skye stirred and then whispered, "I just thought you said my word is all. But that's okay, I like it from your lips."
Wait..
How'd she..
What?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This chapter was heavy and full of emotion.
I hope you felt every part of it.
(Like a Period.)
Its that time of the month.. (for a double chapter) ~ Vote ~ Comment ~ & Fantasise
-Mysteries