Oops yeah I forgot to add the translations of the Norwegian/Japanese text last chapter..... welp here they are now:
"Hei, vent! Jeg trenger å finne min lille bror! Jeg don't vet hvor han er. Vennligst, kan noen hjelpe meg?" = Hey, wait! I'm trying to find my little brother! I don't know where he is. Please, can someone help me?
"Har du sett min bror? Jeg don't vet hvor han er. Jeg kan't finne ham. Han's trolig tapt, og setter han't snakke japansk. Vennligst hjelp meg! Jeg-" = "Have you seen my brother? I don't know where he is. I can't find him. He's probably lost, and he can't speak Japanese. Please help me! I-"
"Sumimasen" = "Excuse me"
"Nippon go go wakarimasu ka?" = "Do you understand Japanese?"
Also, "Elsje" is pronounced like "ELL-shuh"
Emil laid in bed, wide awake and staring at the ceiling above him in his top bunk. Everyone had gone to sleep hours ago. He couldn't figure out if his jet-lag was still screwing him over, or if his insomnia was acting up again. Or maybe it was just his nerves.
He was insanely nervous for tomorrow. It was the first day of school, so it was perfectly normal for an angsty teenage boy to be nervous for entering a building filled with other angsty teens. It was perfectly natural.
Although, the thought of school wasn't what kept him up.
Sure, he was still scared of it. Terrified, even. He had been bullied at his other school in Iceland, and the only one who knows about this is Lukas. It was only after he'd been selected as the Representative of Iceland did the bullies back off. Emil suspected that his newfound fame in his school was what kept them at bay. For once, he had felt important. Part of something huge, something that mattered. It was rare for him to have such opportunities, much less take them and run.
For once, it was him, Emil Steilsson, that had been chosen for something.
Even if he had no idea how he had managed to get accepted, he was relieved none the less. Relieved and ridiculously happy. Relieved that he would finally have a chance to leave his horrid school behind, and happy with the prospect of becoming friends with other nations' Representatives.
Happy with the prospect of friends, really.
Emil was antisocial by nature, and lonely because of it. Sure, he had tried to get that fact to change, but all of his hapless attempts failed in the end.
Although, he really shouldn't be complaining. It's not like he had it any better than Lukas. His older brother was just as lonely as him, what with being separated by their countries' borders and a sea. But sometimes, Emil knew that Lukas had it worse than him. He was painfully shy around others, unless they were already close. He had a permanent blank expression, but Emil knew it was to hide his pain.
Lukas had developed a skill at hiding his emotions. Each of the brothers had a different coping mechanism with their parent's divorce and their sister's death. Emil hid it behind a harsh, venomous façade, of which he used to push others away. He even tried to push Lukas away for a while, but gave up after having to deal with his brother's stubbornness. Emil had quite the trouble with keeping his anger to a minimum, and that had caused him much grief within and outside of his home.
While Emil tried to push others away with his anger, Lukas did it with his emotionlessness. He was already shy, that was just a part of his personality. But after what he's been through, he's learned that it's best to not let anyone know what he's feeling. How much pain he's in. That would just spread it all out, and he didn't want the other people around him feeling as terrible as he did.
Lukas just bottled it up and pushed it all down. Only Emil can tell how he's really feeling, a skill he's all but mastered. But Lukas makes sure to never show his emotions to anyone but his little brother. He knows that Emil is the only one who is able to share his burden. And it is only with Emil that he lets go of his monotonous voice and blank expression.
In return, Emil stops trying to hide his sadness with anger and instead just lets it all out. They both have a bad habit of bottling up their emotions and letting them out in a tidal wave of pain, shouting, and hopeless crying.
But ever since their parents split up and separated the two brothers, they've had next to no time to be with each other. So all of their emotions that they push down just keep piling up inside of them. Emil is a volcano ready to explode. Lukas is the calm before the storm.
Some nights, when Emil has had an especially hard day at school, or Lukas is at a breaking point with his blank disguise, they'll call each other and spend the whole night talking. Lukas comforted Emil when someone wrote on his desk "go kill yourself." Emil was there for Lukas after their father had had a drunken episode and snapped Lukas' violin in anger.
It's become very clear to the two that the only thing they truly have in this world is each other.
And even while all these thoughts were rushing through the young Icelandic teen's head, they got pushed aside by a new thought. (Name). Somehow, that (h/c)-haired girl had waltzed right into his life and stole his attention. When he thought about her, a blush spread across his pale cheeks, and his heart race increased.
He deeply regretted not speaking to her. Because of the whole getting-lost-in-the-town drama, Emil was sure that (Name) saw him as nothing but a pathetic little boy that can't find his own way. And even though he knew next to nothing about girls, he seriously doubted that that kind of person is considered attractive to them. And (Name) deserved much more than what he had to offer.
Then why am I still thinking about her? Emil wondered. It was clear that she was on an entirely different level than he was. So why did it even matter? It's not like he had a chance. And it was obvious that Lukas was into her as well. Or just protective of her. Emil hadn't remembered a time when Lukas had even thought about a girl, much less be into one.
Then again, Emil himself couldn't remember that he had considered his romantic life ever since what happened with Elsje.
Oh, sweet Elsje. She had been a pretty little strawberry-blonde girl from the Netherlands, five years his senior. He had fallen hopelessly in love with her when he was just eleven.
Lukas assures him that he had not been 'in love' as he had claimed, him being so young. But Emil seriously doubted his judgement, seeing as Lukas has never even had a crush. That he's admitted to, anyway.
But after that heartbreak during Emil's already-fragile state, he had vowed to himself to never fall in love again.
But that vow was only to himself. It's okay to break it.
But even with these enticing thoughts, Emil still had to consider his brother. Lukas was one of the huge variables in this equation. Emil knew, deep down, that he would choose his brother over any girl. Always. It's that American saying, right? Bros before h- never mind.
Emil always put Lukas first, and Lukas always put Emil first. That's how it's been their entire lives. Well, it used to be that Emil put Lukas and Anette first, but now it's only Lukas.
Another reason why they had to stick together.
Shouldn't Lukas let me be happy? My happiness is the first priority for him, right? Shouldn't he let me take this chance? Even though he had these thoughts, Emil knew that it wasn't the right thing. It wasn't fair to Lukas. His older brother had never even had a crush. And Emil knew that the separation had been just as hard on him, if not more. If anything, he owed this to Lukas.
But at the same time, he really didn't want to have to owe it.
Emil pressed his palms to his face, in an effort to clear his head of such thoughts that he currently had. I should really write all this down... He thought.
Emil reached under his pillow to pull out a pencil and the faded and frayed denim book cover of the journal that he kept. It was a birthday present he had received in the mail from Lukas, just after they had been separated. From time to time, Emil still read the cursive note that his brother had written on the inner flap.
'Use this to get all your thoughts out. It's unhealthy to keep them all bottled up, which we both know that you're doing. It's a good way to express yourself.' Emil always smiled at the irony of the message; he knew that he wasn't the only one out of the two that bottled up his feelings. Although, he had taken Lukas' advice, and wrote in it at least twice a week. It had really helped.
He flipped to a fresh page in his book, of which there were few. He made a mental note to himself to get a new one so he could continue writing. He fished out his small, hook-on reading lamp that he had found at a thrift store, and attached it to the cover as he started his new entry.
September 3, he began writing, but crossed out the 3 and replaced it with a 4, remembering that it was now past midnight. And he started writing.
00:16 September 4, 20XX
In the other entry I wrote, I was talking about everything that happened in the little town that we had ventured off to. How I got lost and everything. I still don't understand why Matthias made us go there in the first place.... That Dane is nothing but trouble.
Anyway, I had written about that pretty American girl. As it turns out, I can't stop thinking about her. I've stayed up just with these thoughts, and her smile keeps flashing in my brain. I knew I should've introduced myself.
I think that I might be falling in love with her- he crossed out his last statement- I think that I might be starting to like her, and it's feeling really weird. I don't want a repeat of what happened with Elsje.
But somehow, I sense that (Name) is different than her. First of all, we're the same age- that's a plus. But there's just this charm about her, and I can't help but be drawn to it.
And I sense that Lukas feels the same way.
"Emil, what are you doing? You are supposed to be asleep." Emil started at the sudden sound of his brother's voice, making the period he was trying to write turn into a scribbled line.
"Lukas!" Emil hissed, trying to keep his voice down for the sake of the others still sleeping. "What in God's name are you doing?"
"I asked first," Lukas replied cooly. He smiled, something he only did with Emil, when his little brother stumbled over his words trying to find a response.
Emil 'hmphed' before replying. "...I was writing, for your information."
Lukas' gaze drifted to the worn-out journal, and his eyes widened slightly in surprise. "You still write in that thing?"
"Of course. I'm running out of room, though."
Lukas pondered this. "I'll have to get you a new one soon, then."
Emil tensed, but didn't complain. He would be happy to receive another gift from his brother.
"Why are you up so late? Shouldn't you be sleeping?" Lukas asked, sounding like a mother hen who had gotten her feathers ruffled.
"I could say the same to you," Emil said.
Lukas cocked an eyebrow. "I was sleeping, but the teenage angst radiating off of you was too much to bear."
Emil stuck his tongue out at Lukas; a childish gesture, he knew, but Lukas was the one person he could be childish around.
"Anyway," Lukas continued. "Didn't you write today already? Or are your thoughts just keeping you up?"
"The latter."
Lukas nodded, but didn't duck back down to the bottom bunk like he would've expected. Lukas always had a strict routine, and he hardly ever broke his regiment.
Although, because of the whole new school deal, their routine had been messed up already.
Lukas crossed his arms over the guard rail of the top bunk and rested his chin there. "So, are you excited for school?"
"What kind of conversation starter is that?"
Lukas shrugged. "I'm just wondering how my baby brother is holding up."
Emil face-palmed. "Stop calling me that! We're only eighteen months apart. And for the record, I am holding up very, very well, thank you."
"I'll stop calling you that if you agree to call me Big Brother."
"Nope, nope, nope. We are not stating that thing again."
"Then just give in already."
"Lukas. It's zero-dark-thirty, and the night before school. We don't have time for this," Emil sighed and muttered to himself: "Sometimes I wonder if you really are older than me, since I'm obviously the most mature..."
"You know I'm mature. I am very mature."
"Lukas, go to sleep."
"Fine. Only if you will, too."
Emil huffed and reluctantly switched off his reading light. Lukas gave a satisfied hum, and Emil could hear him shuffling about to go back to bed. Before Lukas completely drifted off, he murmured something that only his brother could hear.
"Emil?"
"Yeah, Lukas?"
There was a pause. "I really do want to know if you're okay sometimes. And I want this school year to be wonderful for you, okay?" Lukas paused again and shifted underneath the covers. "So if anyone or anything bothers you, you can tell me."
"Ja, I know." Emil turned over so he could get in a more comfortable position. "That's how it's always worked."
"But we both know-" Lukas yawned, then started again. "-we both know that this year is going to be different. I can tell."
Emil waited a while before answering. Yes, he had felt that this year was going to be different. That much was obvious. But he thought that he might've just been overreacting. But the fact that Lukas felt it, too.... That worried him.
"Ja, I know, Lukas."
Silence.
"...Lukas? Are you still awake?"
Emil's question fell on deaf ears, as the Norwegian had already drifted off. Emil sighed once more, closing his eyes. His nerves had settled, and he forced his mind to be blank. Save, of course, for that iconic smile that had kept him up in the first place.
This year was going to be very, very different.
A/N: I'm getting into the bad habit of not proof-reading things before I post them.
As a writer, I advise you to NOT do that.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this brother-bonding chapter. I know I said I'd do an Iceland short, but it ended up being more Iceland and Norway. Hope y'all don't mind.
You hype for Sekai to start up?
'CAUSE I TOTALLY AM