Mia
I sat in the waiting room and stared at the notice board in front of me. It has leaflets and poster's about pregnancy and what to expect I glanced at them for a while. I checked my watch and it was 2:45pm so he still had 15 minutes to make it to the appointment. I felt awful about not telling him, and I have to include him in as much of this as I could. I wasn't sure how it was going to work when I got back home, but I was making a effort now.
The chairs were so uncomfortable, my bum felt numb and I couldn't sit properly. I started to move around so I could grab my phone out of my bag. I checked but there was nothing and it was now 2:50pm. I thought about texting but quickly changed my mind, he knew about the appointment he will be here.
After waiting another 10 minutes there was still no sign of him, I could feel the disappointment building up inside.
"Mia?" the nurse called
I stood up and waddled my way over into the room.
"By yourself today" she asked as she scanned through my notes
"I guess so" I sigh
"We can wait a little bit longer if you like" she asked
"No.. its ok"
"The doctor will be in shortly"
She smiled and left the room. I took my phone out again and checked my messages, but nothing. I started to text furiously and then the doctor walked in
"Mia, I'm Doctor Knight I will be doing the scan for you today so hows things"
"Fine, everything good kicking alot"
"Thats great! so are we finding out the sex of the baby today"
I hesitated, I thought Alex would be here and we would find out together but it seems I'm doing it alone.
"How about I write it down and put it in a envelope and you can read it later"
I nodded, he placed the cold gel on my belly and I jumped at first. I stared at the screen in front of me watching and waiting.
"Now here we go, there. Thats the head, the feet, the arms and the heart"
I stared in complete awe my little bundle of joy in the screen in front of me, it was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. He clicked a few buttons to take pictures and moved the scope around some more.
"Ok I'm going to write this down and give you the envelope along with some pictures and a video for you to take home"
I sat up and began to pull my top down, I took the envelope and pictures from him
"Thank you, thank you so much"
I made my way to the car still staring at the pictures in my hands. Kourtney spotted me and jumped out of the car and ran over towards me
"Well is it a girl or a boy wait.... let me guess its a girl isn't it" She jumped up and down
"He didn't come" they were the only words I could get out of my mouth
"What.. you did tell him didn't you"
I nodded and could feel my eyes start to tear up
"Oh Mia, I'm sure he has a reason"
"Its not good enough he has other kids I understand that but this one shouldn't be forgotten about"
I stormed off and sat in the car crying into my hands. Kourtney followed and sat in the drivers seat
"Take me to his house"
"Mia im not sure thats a good idea....."
"No this baby is just as important and he needs to know that."
It was a short drive to his house and I couldn't believe the size of it. It had a long drive way with cream bricks and large white windows. I could see a kids treehouse in the garden and a pool. My anger soon subsided into sadness, He had his own family, his own life without me and I can't change that.
I took off my seatbelt and took the envelope and pictures with me, I walked up to the door kissed them and placed them in the letterbox. If he didn't want to come I wouldn't have him miss out on the scan pictures. I had left him out of enough already.
The journey home was quiet, I was in deep thinking mode of how I was going to deal with all this. My heart was breaking, my life was a mess and I had another human to look after. We made our way inside the house and into the kitchen, Kourtney began making a cup of tea.
"Kourtney can we talk"
She continued to look at the magazine she was reading and wouldn't look at me in the eye
"Kourtney please this is important" she put down the hot cup of tea she was holding and took a big sigh.
"Please don't say it Mia, your here for me and my special day not him, he's just a piece of it" She reassured me
"I have to leave, I need to go home I'm so sorry" I got up off the table and made my way to the frame of the door
"No you listen here, this is my wedding day my future I have listened to you cry, Ive picked up the pieces of the mess you made and now you are being a selfish bitch"
I stood in the door way with my mouth wide open in shock at the words that was coming out of her mouth. Once she got the first bit out there was no stopping her
"I have put everything on hold to support you, to reassure you it was all gonna be ok but guess what its MY day and here I am not thinking about me I've been thinking about YOU and cleaning up YOUR mess"
She pointed her finger at me while glaring at me. Her chest rising up and down I could almost see the steam coming out of her ears. I turned around and made began to walk quickly into the hall so I could run up the stairs but she soon followed me still shouting at me.
"You really are so selfish, how did I never see it. You left Alex, you made this mess and now you don't want to deal with it. You left him when he needed you and now your doing the same thing to me"
I started to brisk walk up the stairs being careful and trying not to fall up the steps but she quickly chased behind me still shouting abuse.
"You just don't think about anyone else do you, what about all the other people in the world that have lost kids your not the only one!"
"JUST SHUT UP"
I turned around and shouted in her face with tears streaming down my face. I wiped each cheek with the sleeve of my jumper, I couldn't look her in the eye it was too much because I knew what she was saying was right. Me and my drama had taken over the light from her wedding and thats not what I want to happen. I turned around and continued to make my way up the last step
"If you leave, don't ever come back. I will never forgive you"
I carried on walking into the bedroom and closed the bedroom door, thew myself on the bed and the tears started to fall down my face uncontrollably. I had a big decision to make and I wasn't sure if I would make the right choice.
It was now 2 hours after my big fight with Kourtney, I was hiding in the bedroom reading a what to expect when your expecting book. My stomach was growling at this point and I was decided to head out for some fresh air. I began to put some clothes and shoes on and made my way out the door and down the stairs.
"Im sorry"
I heard over my shoulder, I turn around and notice Kourtney in the living room with the lighting down low sipping on a drink.
"I shouldn't of said those things, I was wrong and I'm sorry."
I walked into the poorly lit sitting room and sat down on the sofa
"I don't understand where it came from it was so... harsh"
she sighed and took another sip of her drink
"I can't have kids"
"Im sure theres other things you can do, loads of people do it"
She stared at the ground, cold, emotionless and hurt. I could see the tears starting to build up and it was making her eyes glassy.
"Kourtney, its going to be alright" I said as I took hold of her hand, she squeezed onto hand and shook it
"Life's too short, you gotta grab it with both hands. Do all the things you dreamed of, all the things you wanted to say"
"I.. I don't understand"
"Say it before you run out of time, say it before its too late because waiting is a mistake"
She got up off the sofa and place her hand on my shoulder and kissed the top of my head and left me sitting in my own thoughts.