I'm frozen in place, forced to watch the duo as they separate.
I try to move, truly, I do. My mind screams for me to do something, anything, but my body doesn't respond. What am I watching?
Avery saunters away, a smug grin on her face. Stella and Ella, both witness to the display of affection, stand off to the side with their jaws hanging wide open. I wonder how I look.
Confused. Definitely.
Disgusted. Slightly.
Heartbroken. Sadly.
As a pain sears through my chest I decide that's the perfect way to describe how I'm feeling, heartbroken. I want to laugh for even considering the thought of liking Ashton. Kissing him.
Ashton rubs his hands through his hair, an indistinguishable look on his face. I feel sick as he notices me, still frozen in place. He pales as we meet eyes, defeat flashing on his face. Looks like someone didn't plan on getting caught. He tries to walk towards me but I shake my head.
I have nothing left to say to him.
My body finally decides to work and I walk to my friends at a normal pace, a fake smile on my face. He doesn't deserve to see how bad he hurt me.
Sage went to the locker room to grab his stuff, missing the game of tonsil hockey. One less pair of pitying eyes, the girls currently doing plenty of that for everyone.
The drive home all I can see is the kisses on repeat in my mind, playing on a constant loop is my kiss and then Avery's. All the emotions flooding through me just to be stripped away.
I can't help but describe it as intoxicating, they way it felt to kiss him. Another realization hits me, I know what it feels like and so does Avery. Looks like she won him, just like she wins everything else. The only difference is that I actually cared about this competition.
The girls meet us at the house to get ready, both having plenty of wardrobe options in my closet. Sage drones on about tonight, excited to go to his first ever high school party.
I mean to ask him what that player whispered in his ear but I'm to distracted by the party.
Did I still want to go after seeing Ashton and Avery? No doubt they'll be all over each other and I can't bare to witnesses them again without losing it. I'm sure that will be Avery's sole goal tonight.
I remember that Saffron is at her friends house and that the twins are spending the night with Sam. I don't want to sit by myself wallowing in self pity. And I'm sure as hell not about to let Sage go alone. Tonight's about him, his victory.
Ashton doesn't get to ruin that for me. He's done enough damage.
No one speaks as we change, both girls afraid to say anything. I'm not broken glass, I can handle something stupid like Ashton. It was just a kiss. A kiss I currently can't get out of my head.
I put on a liquid silver tank top and skin tight, ripped black jeans with red converse. I'm showing off more skin than I normally feel comfortable with but screw it. I'll be damned if I don't have fun tonight.
Ella puts on a sheer black crop top with white jeans and Doc Martens. The shoe choice surprising to Stella and I, Ella almost always wore heels or flats. Stella chooses a pair of ripped jeans and a cropped black turtleneck, not really surprising anyone.
I volunteer to do their makeup. Applying makeup is an art and it's nice to know my canvas will be seen by the world. It also gives me a distraction.
I make it through Stella's makeup and my own without a problem. My mind too focused on the task at hand to think about anything else. By the time I get to Ella though my mind is empty. Unwillingly, it wanders back to Ashton.
My hand begins to wobble as I do her eyeshadow, subtle enough to go unnoticed.
"Scar, are you ok?" Ella finally questions, resting a hand on my shoulder.
I give my best smile and try to steady my hand to finish up the look. I'm almost done.
The girls share a look, "Are you sure it's the best thing for you to go tonight?" Stella asks, voicing their thoughts, and mine too.
I finish up Ella's eyes and snap the eyeshadow palette shut forcefully. "I'm perfectly fine. I plan on going to go to this party and enjoying a night of high school without worrying or caring about any thing or person." Besides Sage that is.
I deserve a night off. I want to be normal for a change, to let loose and have fun without feeling bad.
Ella gives my shoulder a tight squeeze, "You can, just remember what Dr. O'Shannon said about taking a step back at times like this."
My blood runs cold at the thought of my therapist. "I'm leaving now." I say monotonously, leaving my room to head downstairs.
I know Ella's just trying to be nice but I don't need a mother, I already had one of those. I know what's best for me. I know my limits and I'm nowhere near it. I'll be perfectly fine. It's just a bunch of high schoolers, what could possibly go wrong?
Sage is waiting downstairs in ripped black jeans, a white shirt, and a jean jacket.
We stare each other down, taking notice of the others black jeans. Why do we always pick matching clothes? We aren't twins, we don't have a telepathy. Just an annoying habit.
"I'm not changing." I declare
As Sage points at me, "Go change."
Are we predictable or what?
No one moves, stuck in a stalemate. This could last for hours, it did in the infamous jersey incident of 2016.
We stand there glaring at each other, my hands on my hips while his are crossed over his chest. But before we get the chance to break new records Ella grabs Sage and drags him to the door.
"The party's already started, let's go." She demands.
Of course Ella grabs one of her cameras from her car before we leave.
*****
The party's in full swing by the time we arrive.
Teenagers of varying drunk degrees stumble around the secluded cabin. Gabe's parents bought this place a few years ago with the hopes of moving. However, since it's in the middle of nowhere, they decided to wait until he graduates to move.
A poor choice on their behalf, their future home now party central for Riverview. Part of me wonders if they even know the fate of their property.
I can hear pop music blasting from speakers as we walk up the gravel path. Shoes and red solo cups line the walkway, acting as guiding bread crumbs to the chaos. People are on the porch. Some making out while others play cards, each group ignoring the other.
My eyes scan the cabin, taking in the features hidden beneath the party grime. It's a shame this place is so pretty. Natural wood with high ceilings. An updated kitchen can be seen from the front door in the back of the house. A hot tub and pool through the back door. I'm able to squint and I see people swimming despite the fact it's freezing out.
Teenagers are stupid.
As we enter the entire football team shouts for Sage, who soaks up the attention like a sponge. He eventually gets pulled away to play a game of beer pong. Something difficult to do when you don't drink.
Neither of us do. After losing our parents to a drunk driver the thought of alcohol is sickening. It can be dangerous, especially in the hands of teenagers that think they're invincible.
I walk around with Ella, saying hi to people as we go. Stella leaves us after a few minutes to find James, something tells me we won't be seeing her for the rest of the night. I notice kids from Steinborn mixed in with our own school and I'm not surprised, Gabe has family that lives on the West Side.
We wind up talking to Madison and her boyfriend, Kent, about their plans for college. Witnessing their relationship is like putting sanitizer on a hidden cut, I don't expect it to hurt but it does.
They work so well together, like a machine. His arm stays wrapped around her waist, moving to follow her wherever she goes. Everything is in sync. Their motions. Their conversation. Even their laugh.
Who has synchronized laughs?
My heart hurts watching them. Thankfully, before I allow myself to think about a certain person, Ella drags me away.We end up at a picnic table at the back of the house. James and Stella are there along with Zev, another junior on the team. He's cute with shaggy red hair and faint freckles.
"What are we talking about?" Ella asks, taking the spot between Sage and Stella.
I stop for a second, noticing Ashton on the other side of Sage. He stares at me, clearly wanting to say something. His face sadder than I expected but I notice Avery isn't in sight. Someone must be missing his booty call.
I bite my tongue. He has a lot of nerve to show up here and pretend to play nice after sucking face with my cousin. I steer clear of his eyes, focusing on my brother.
The pretty grey eyed boy doesn't exist.
"Aliens." He says proudly.
"Babe, we've had this discussion already." She whines and I can't help but agree.
I eye the two available spots at the table. I could sit between Ashton and Sage, the former probably hoping for me to make that choice, or I can sit between Ella and Zev. I glanced back at Ashton and the image of the kiss flashed through my mind.
Zev it is.
I squeeze into the space with minor uncomfortableness. I've never actually talked to him before and I feel awkward. I try to pull my body in as much as possible to keep from touching him.
Why am I like this?
Zev smells nicely of old spice, likely from showering before he got here. It isn't minty but it's pleasant enough. I relax more once I notice how much heats currently radiating from his body.
Wearing a tank top wasn't my brightest idea.
He smiles politely and I return it, no longer feeling weird. He's just a person, Scarlett. I'm fine. Totally and completely fine.
"They exists!" He shouts
"Bubs, I agree, but there's no use in arguing with the simple minded." I offer gently.
"Not possible, Sage, there would be proof by this point." James says matter of factly.
Sage turns crimson in agitation, "Area 51 dude."
I shake my head. Area 51 is Sage's dream senior trip, has been since we were kids. He thinks if he can drag us all out to the desert and force us to snoop around we'll find proof.
I'm not gonna lie, I have an open mind, aliens may be out there. However, Area 51 would be the last place I look.
James shrugs, "Government conspiracy to hide other corruptions."
I find myself admiring how nicely James fits in with our group. He's actually really funny once he gets to talking. Also, he treats Stella like gold. If she needs anything he's on it. He carries her books. Constantly holds her hand. Brings her flowers and they've only been together a couple of days.
He's adorable.
Honestly, I never picked Stella to be the girl in a relationship that's so sweet and soft. Truly I don't think James did either and after dating Avery I'm happy he has this.
They work well together.
I glance at Ella to see her reaction to the whole alien debate, unlike Sage and I, she's a solid non believer. Disappointing, I know. Wearing a dazed look as she scans the surroundings, I let out a groan, she's about to start taking pictures. I count down mentally.
5.
4.
3.
2.
And
"Stella and James pose on the table, everyone else get up." She commands, interrupting the boys escalating conversation.
Zev looks completely confused but does what she asks. I unwillingly get up, the cold nipping my skin, damn this tank top. Ashton silently gets up, thankfully he's been on the quiet side tonight.
Sage just blinks at her, "But, babe, we're talking."
She ruffles his hair, not giving a shit about his conversation. "Well now it's picture time, after all we need to celebrate Scarlett reentering the part crowd."
They all hoot and holler like idiots and I roll my eyes. It's only a big deal if you make it that way, so far I wasn't too impressed. There's drunk teenagers, bad food and lots of repulsive grinding.
Nothings changed and my bed's definitely better.
The couple pose a few different ways, looking absolutely stunning. The garage acting as a great background with the spray paint design it was given by some unruly party goers God knows how long ago. A flood light flashed down, producing decent lighting.
We end up taking individuals before Zev volunteers to take a group picture of us.
Next thing I know I'm next to Ashton, trying to look careless while also ignoring him. It's difficult.
"Look, Sweetheart, I can explain." He whispers through his signature smirk.
"I don't care, now smile pretty." I spit back at him. Laughing humorously at the realization that a few weeks earlier I had said the same thing, only then we were friends.
He hadn't kissed my cousin.
After group pictures are over we move onto groups. The boys all pose, holding number one signs up. Taking another with their arms crossed.
Idiots.
Zev notices that I'm shivering and takes off his leather and very warm looking jacket. "Here." He offers, extending it out to me.
"Oh, no, I couldn't." I say through teeth chatters.
"I insist, Scarlett." He swings the jacket over my shoulders before I can further protest. He smiles warmly and I wonder how I've never talked to him before. He's the type of guy that's so easy to talk to.
Maybe I forgot the tiny detail that I'm not very keen on making friends.
Ella squeals, insisting we should all put on jackets. Pulling Sage out of his jean coat while Stella takes James' bomber jacket.
Sage gets handed the camera and we sit on top of the table. Surprisingly, my brother works well with a camera. He started to learn as something to do with Ella and it sorta grew from there. For him it's just a hobby but it's a damn good one.
I see Avery walk out in between flashes and I instantly get colder just from seeing her. She's wearing a backless red tank dress that does nothing against the cold or the eyes of every person at this party. It's hard to believe she used to be a tomboy.
She struts over to Ashton and talks to him briefly before flashing him a seductive smile and sauntering off.
I really wish she would trip on some gravel.
"Ashton, get over here with Scar!" Sage calls out, gaining the attention of Ella, Stella, and me.
I forgot he doesn't know about their kiss. Actually none of them know about our kiss. I wish I could forget about both.
Ashton walks over, letting the world think we were still normal. He eyes the jacket I'm wearing, clearly not enjoying it. "Take that off, it clashes with mine."
Bullshit. I take in his own leather jacket that has a more worn out look to it. The pair would match just fine but I don't feel like causing a scene. Just take the picture and move on.
Once it's removed he wraps an arm around my waist, a new feeling that hours earlier would've been welcome. He leans down to my ear and I look away, "It's not what you think Sweetheart. Please."
The picture is taken and I look up at him, annoyed by that stupid nickname. "Actually, Ashton, I think it's quite clear, now stay away from me and I'll do the same."
I walk away from the group, deciding I need some distance from him.
On my way to the house I bump into someone, nearly falling on my ass. I glare at whoever hit me, ready to explode.
"Easy, Letty." A voice chuckles and I panic at that nickname before realizing who it is.
I let out a sigh, thankful he isn't someone from Steinborn. "Sorry, Gabe."
We just stand there for a second, not really sure what to say to the other. We haven't talked since my parents accident. It was easier that way.
"Where you headed?" He asks, taking a sip of his drink. I'm surprised to discover that he's drinking water. This is his party after all.
"I just need a drink." I offer a weak smile, taking a step towards the house.
He begins to walk with me, glancing around the area. "I'll go with you."
"No thanks, I really just want to be alone right now. I'll talk to you later though." And with that I hurry up the path.
It's a straight lie and Gabe knows it but he doesn't follow me, instead walking down the path I just took. Good, maybe he can talk to Ashton, they're both players.
I pass through the crowded rooms, surrounded by people I don't know. Drinking drinks I don't want to drink. The house is hot, dark, and stuffy. I most definitely smell pot in the air.
Good times, truly.
Finding myself in the kitchen, I look in the fridge and coolers, hoping for water and falling disappointed. Apparently that's a running occurrence tonight. I bend down to snag a soda and look back up to find a person standing in the doorway.
I drop my drink in shock.
It's him.
*****
Who do you think it is?? Any guesses?
I cried writing the next chapter so be prepared. You're welcome.
Please vote, comment and share this story and let me know what you think about this chapter.
Also, I LOVE Gabe so much!!