MARRIAGE IS SUPPOSED to be beautiful. Right?
There are two people taking the next level in their relationship. The biggest, and hopefully the last, step. It's a commitment different to any other one may make in life.
And yet, it feels like I couldn't care less about the fact that my wedding is in an hour.
But with Marco and Camila freaking out, I don't think it would be wise for me to do the same. Although, to be fair, they are only off the rails because I am not.
"I know you are some tough, cool guy but you are getting married! Surely there's a part of that's annoyed or maybe even excited," Marco cries out and I shake my head, laughing.
"You're not even getting a little excited about the fact that you're going to be spending some time on an island with Violetta. Alone. On an island. Alone," Camila says, wiggling her eyebrows.
"Do you want me to say something dirty-minded?" I offer and they groan.
I could not help but find their anguish hilarious. They always wanted me to be happy and they believed that getting married would help that situation. But I was indifferent. It's not like this marriage would be a symbol of some love that Violetta and I are presumed to share. It's a symbol of a business deal that she was forced into.
Where was the anticipation in that?
If she thought getting married to me was the worst thing that could happen to her, then why would I waste my time feeling anything?
Of course, Marco and Camila could not disagree more.
"Maybe you making an effort in this marriage will actually help with her terrible emotions. Maybe you can be her reason to look forward to this."
"Our relationship doesn't work like that. In order for that to happen she would need to care about the way I felt," I say and Camila just gives me a look.
Stop being so pessimistic.
Can't help it, I silently reply.
I knew what they wanted me to say. I was supposed to be scared, scared to ruin my relationship with her. Whatever our relationship could be as classified as. They wanted me to say that I would try and change. That even I understood what a marriage entailed: putting your life in somebody else's hands, promising to love them forever and believing that your love even can last forever.
And I may just say all of that if I felt that way.
"Does this still have something to do with Federico?" Marco asks, finally sitting down with his hands hanging in between his stretched legs.
"That fiasco was all her fault," I say, casting a dark glance towards Camila. She rolls her eyes and sits next to me.
"I wanted to experiment. You know that I love to dare people," She says, ruffling my previously perfectly combed hair. I had even resisted the urge to mess it up out of habit.
"If I didn't love you so much I would have killed you. If it was anybody else they would have been dead the second those words came out of their mouth," I say and she laughs.
"You think I don't know that? I mean, obviously I had to do it. Everybody was thinking it. Just kiss already. As much as we love you, and we do, they really are quite an interesting love story," She says, shrugging.
I push her off the couch.
Marco, ever the gentleman, helps her up and whacks me on the head. The push clearly meant nothing to her and she resumes her seat next to me.
"Are they that much of a better fit?" I ask softly and Camila grins, rubbing her hands together excitedly.
Oh great, a lecture.
"Now, now, my little grasshopper. Don't be so afraid. On paper, yes, they are a much better fit. They are not entirely alike, but enough to ensure they can forgive each other and understand each other. But it's their opposites that make the relationship really work, to keep it alive. And then you: an obstacle that potentially stands in the way of their love." Marco gives her a look, not even he understood where she was going with what was supposed to be a pep talk.
"But who the hell cares about what a relationship looks like on paper? In real life, you two are the worst and best things to have ever happened to each other. She teaches you to be good, caring...to love. You teach her that sometimes it's okay to go a little crazy, to let go of your morals and yourself even if it's just for a little while. And your story is interesting for us because we know the truth.
"The fact that you guys continue to deny it is annoying but it also creates tension. Tension that you both feel but ignore because of fear. You would never want to ruin your bond that you have somehow created because you both know that it's pretty much impossible to live without each other; you'd miss all of each other's qualities be it her laugh and the way she makes you happy in a way no girl has before or her constant denial and innocence that you only hate because it prevents you from really having your way–"
"And we're done," I say quickly. I take a large gulp of water to try and cool myself down and make my body feel less hot.
"Oh, and when I say she makes you happy in a different way, you know exactly what I mean. It's something that nobody but her has been able to do. We're just your friends in the end, but her...she's something more."
Marco and I shared a look, and he told me the rest of the speech silently. That is why you are scared to marry her because you fear that this new title will be the thing that finally tips you two off. You fear that if this happens you will lose Violetta.
If there was one thing that I hated about best friends, it was their ability to read each other like an open book. Any other person would believe me when I said that I did not care. Even I believed myself. But of course, not them.
I didn't want to admit it. Not only was it fear but it was fear caused by somebody I could possibly care for. It was not that I thought fear was a weakness. If channeled correctly it really does work as adrenaline. It can help you tap into your fight or flight mindset.
But a fear caused by love?
It meant something different. It was not something to use that would make my work better, in fact, I would probably be slacking off because of my mind being consumed by her. It meant that I was falling. Now, that I refused to do.
"You don't have many constants in your life Diego. I can count them on one hand. It wouldn't hurt to let Violetta become more than just a business deal to you, to let yourself depend on her. Violetta would never leave you. I don't think it's in her nature. She could be perfect for you," Camila says, resting her head on my shoulder.
But I could ruin it. It would be so easy for me to ruin it. I'm a professional at messing things up.
"You just have to let her in."
Important to remember: he basically contradicts everything they say with his actions. Instead of talking him into being a better husband, they force him to become the worst. They instil fear which leads to him lashing out in an awful way of ending up Clara.
And the thing about Federico was the icing on the cake. To him, it is pointless to even try with her if he is the better fit for her. He also does it because part of him doesn't want her to settle for less and, in this case, it would be him.
So that's basically the bridge between this and the honeymoon. How that happened.
Thanks for reading 🙈 Sorry for any errors 💚
~Lexy 😈