"Another song with no harmony, no lyrics, no beat, no voice. A child that was born without a voice to be heard. A woman with silenced feelings, closed in, locked away. Trying to hide from the one she loves. Another song written. Another voice left unheard. Where's the vibration of a wind pipe? Where's the voice of the wind? Is it all in silence?"
-Kay Monét
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Things have been stressful.
I would like to blame it on going to work too soon, but that's not it. Whether I would've started worked now or ten years from now things would still be stressful. Because of me going to rehab Promise now have to do a comeback to prove to the company that we aren't a threat to their business, and prove to the world that we weren't just another girl group. Many people, including the fans have wondered one thing these past couple of years: Why did Liyah have to go to rehab all of a sudden?
That major question had two that followed: Did Liyah have some kind of drug or alcohol addiction, and did she have some kind of mental problem? Blah, blah, blah! Both were ridiculous questions I had to come home to. Literally, the first thing I saw on television was a news reporter talking about me and how I was being released that day. It was crazy how they knew these things. I could only help but wonder who let them in on it, because it was supposed to be discreet.
A lot of people have taken what has been written about us to reach the conclusion that I did have a drug addiction and that was why I had to go to rehab. I'll admit, that did sound believable. But of course it wasn't true. I knew that as soon as this album came out and an interview is set I would be asked about it. I wasn't exactly sure if I was ready to talk about why I had to go. I knew that if I had to talk about I would have to start from the beginning. From where it all started. I don't think I was ready to go there.
It's been two years and all that nonsense had faded away. They began focusing on other things that was more up to date. I didn't know whether or not I was strong enough to deal with the pressure of the press, but I knew that I didn't have a choice but to face up to it. I didn't have a choice. Once Epic approved of our second album...injure I would eventually have to face up to it. I knew I couldn't hide forever.
I was sitting in the booth at the recording studio waiting for Quincy to give me the cue to start. I couldn't see him, there were no windows and the whole room was pitch black and I wore really dark shades over my eyes. It was the only way I felt comfortable recording. The girls had already left with Bobby to take care some business leaving me there to work on the verses. I was mindlessly tapping my foot as my patience was wearing. I began humming loudly into the mic signalling that I was tired of waiting.
"Okay, Liyah!" he said, answering my annoying hums. " One moment."
I sucked my teeth rolling my eyes. What is he out there doing? He always seem to hate it when we wasted time in the studio but right now he was the one wasting all the time. I could've been halfway through the song by now. Or at least the main parts anyway. "You know, Quincy," I said into the mic." my butt and wooden stools don't go well together. "
I heard him laugh." Okay, okay, we can start now " I heard him switch the music. " Start with the intro on to the first verse and the first chorus."
I felt my eyebrows frown. " That sounds a little rushed, don't you think?"
"Liyah..."
"What, I'm just sayin!"
"I have other things I need you to do. So, I'm gonna need you to cooperate."
I pursed my lips. "Okay. Just play the track." I demanded.
He didn't hear him say anything, I just heard the introduction of the music playing. It was a sound of a violin and a keyboard playing together and the. soon a guitar would join. I placed the head phones and starting the speaking intro. " I remember when you used to be mine...way back when." I began. " I was too naive to love you right. But now...if I only had the opportunity...I would do...anything...Because my heart still believes...
"Maybe you could be mine.... again....Maybe we could make that dream for real like way back then.
When love was yours....and mine...Maybe we could bring it back to life..."
Quincy wasn't saying anything or cutting me off like had done in the previous takes of this song. So, I knew I was delivering well. I straighten in my seat as I felt myself becoming more confident. "It's irrelevant to dwell on the past...I'm accountable for what went bad, and I mean that. But I...keep on praying for another chance. Just to have you back. 'Cause I've grown, and I know how to be your everything...." I was pouring my heart into these lyrics because they were so close to home. Too close.
Michael's POV
Her voice have changed. I don't mean the way she speaks I mean the way she sings. It's more...mature. Not as innocent as it was four years ago. It so much more soul behind it. She had so much more control of her vocals. I sat in the studio next to Quincy, Kidada, and Ron listening to her as she recorded a part of her song. I had walked in when he was just starting. When I heard that she was in there I almost turned around and walked out thinking that I was too early, but he told me that he actually needed me there. I didn't question why because her impatient humming stopped the question from even coming out of my mouth.
Quincy shook his head and walked over to the mic. "Okay, Liyah." he said. " One moment."
"Why didn't you tell me she was here?" I asked, slightly frustrated with him and also nervous about what she would say when she came out the booth and saw me there. I could imagine her eyebrows knitting together with confusion and her asking what I doing there.
"Mike, I don't know why you're trying to avoid seeing her. You know you will eventually end up running in to her."
"I don't care, I didn't want to run into her now. And you're not answering my ques--"
"You know, Quincy," her voice stopped me in the middle of my words. "my butt and wooden stools don't go well together."
I immediately started laughing. I missed her sense of humor. Even though I knew she was probably serious it was still nice to hear that she was still the same.
"Sit down," Quincy laughed as he sat in front of the control board. "Okay, okay. We can start now. Start with the intro on to the first verse and the chorus."
"That seems a little rushed, don't you think?" I shook my head. So typical of Liyah.
"Liyah..."
"What, I'm just sayin'!"
"I got other things I need you to do. So I'm gonna need you to cooperate. " He raised his eyebrow at me.
"Okay. Just play the track." The way she said her words was even the same. She said it just as I remembered her saying things when she was made a demanding request. I can't describe exactly how I was feeling other than the fact that I was still upset with Quincy for not telling me that she was going to be there. The frustration of it was still there, but it wasn't building inside of me. It was just sorta sitting there.
As I listened to Liyah sing the lyrics to the song It didn't take long for me to realize that the song way about me. A lot of the emotional songs that I have heard her her sing has been about me. Quincy had told me that she had been doing a lot of writing about the same thing basically. It's either about her going for treatment or our break up or both. She hasn't written anything else out of that territory. I pretty much saw that the break up was what inspired this one when I heard the first line of the intro:
I remember when you used to be mine...
Then there was the way she sung the song. There was always a particular way she sung a song that made her think about me. She just poured all her emotion into the lyrics and it showed in her vocals. They became stronger so to speak. I sat back and listened to the lyrics trying to hold back my emotion as she delivered. She allowed her silenced voice to be heard through her music. It was the only way she knew.
"...come out here now." My head shot up as I caught on to the last words that came from Quincy.
"I'm coming." My heart began to beat like crazy. I looked down seeing it beat out of my shirt. It was crazy how nervous I was becoming. I knew this girl, she was the same girl I fell in love with four years ago. A girl I'm still in love with now.
"Quincy, I would really like for this song--" She stopped short in her steps when she saw me.
Just as I predicted her face crumbled with so much confusion. Her long eyebrows knitted together along with her gray eyes squinting as they darted between me and Quincy. She slowly stepped away from the door allowing it to close on its on. "What's going on?" She asked defensively. " Am I...cutting into his recording time or something?"
" Relax, Jelly." Quincy said as he laid back in his chair. " I need to discuss something with the both of you." He crosses his arms across his chest.
"What is that you have to discuss with me that has to do with him?" she asked.
Typical question for her to ask.
"Sit down,, Liyah."
Liyah's eyebrow slowly rose up with suspicion as she pulled up a chair and sat down. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Kidada shaking her head with disapproval at her father. Quincy had done something. "What's going on, Quincy?" I asked.
"Well," he began. "Me and Kidada--"
"Don't bring my name into this." she said, cutting him off.
Quincy rolled his eyes at his daughter. "I had a meeting with Walter the other day and-"
"Walter at CBS?" Liyah and I said at the same time. I glanced at her and she looked away.
Quincy chuckled. "Yes, and he thinks it will be a great Idea for you two to throw down a song together. "
"What?"
"You mean, like a duet?" Liyah's face had quickly changed from confusion to suspicion. My suspicion had began long before then.
"Yes. the company thinks that it would be best for your albums. You know, almost like a promotion." he answered.
Liyah's head dropped slightly. "A promotion?" I couldn't tell if she was either having a hard time understanding or she just wasn't believing anything that was coming out of his mouth. "Why exactly do we need each other to promote our albums?"
"Yeah, why?" I asked. It was almost an insult that we needed promotion help at all.
"It's not that you need each other. It will just be good for the companies. "
"So you're saying that they are using us to bring more money to the businesses?" She asked, offended.
"No, no!" Quincy shook his head quickly " I mean that not only will it be good for the businesses, but it will also bring up your album sales. "
"So, this goes back to the promotion." she said.
"It's just that the record market is off--"
Q had always been such a terrible liar. "Quincy..." I shook my head. I was tired of hearing about that.
"The record market is off because people ain't putting forth the effort to break that two million." she said.
"Exactly," I said, agreeing with her.
Quincy shook his head and began rubbing his chin. "I know that." He said, "but this duet maybe be something worth remembering."
Liyah's eyebrow rose automatically. Her lips pursing. She was giving him my favorite look. " Why am I getting a feeling that you're not only asking us to do this for promotion"-she held up her fingers quoting the word promotion-"help?"
The corner of Quincy's lip curled up in a guilty smile. "First off, Liyah, it's not necessarily an agreement?"
"What you mean?"
"CBS is already expecting you guys to do two songs." He answered sheepishly.
My eyebrows rose. "Wait, hold up." she leaned forward in the chair resting her elbows on her knees, she placed her hand over her forehead as if she was trying to block sunlight from her eyes. "You mean to tell me that we don't have a choice but to do not one, but two songs together? CBS doesn't ask for anything unless we want to submit something to them."
"Michael's submitting his album to CBS."
"And?" she asked as she sat up. "You just can't put us in a studio and expect us to come out with a two good songs. That's crazy! Nine times out of ten they'll be love songs and you have to put into consideration that we used to be together."
I knew what she was getting at. She was basically saying that it would be awkward for us to record a song together and it would probably show in our performance. Which means the songs will be a flop and there will be money wasted.
"I told him..." Kidada whispered.
" It's worth a try. CBS has already paid for the recording hours so there is no way you can talk yourself out of this one."
She closed her eyes and exhaled deeply. " Okay, fine." She held up her hands surrendering. " But I need to at least hear what song y'all got for us and I need to know what parts we are singing."
"Well, we--"
"And I want us to have control of the beats and the harmonies of the song."
I looked up at her. What did that have to do with anything? She looked at me out of the corner of her catching my look of confusion.
"I was gonna give you full control of that anyway "
"Good." she said as she sat back in her chair and began playing with her long straight brown hair. It had gotten longer it was past her breast now. She wore a baseball cap over her head and a black and white jogging suit. "What songs are we doing?"
"Well I was thinking that maybe we could have a duet with one of the songs that isn't going on Michael's album and I was wondering if maybe you could write one."
"Wait, what song?" I asked.
" For All Time?"
I thought for a moment, trying to remember. "You want us to sing that song?"
"Yes, it'll be perfect for a duet. Or we could do the Lady In My Life."
I started laughing. " Ooooh, no..." I could hardly get that one down on my own. Let alone with her.
"What's wrong with that one?" Liyah asked.
"The song is too romantic. " Kidada explained.
"I think that one would be better off as a solo song." I said.
"Let me listen to For Time or whatever it's called." She said casually.
"For All Time," I corrected.
She looked at me and shook her head. "Whatever. For All Time."
Quincy nodded and went over began working on the control board. Soon the song began to play softly:
Sun comes up on this new morning,
Shifting shadows the songbirds sing.
And if these words couldn't keep you happy I'll do anything....
I watched her expression as she got deep onto the song. She had her chin resting on her fists and her other hand resting on her on her leg. She was slowly bobbing her head to the music. I watched her expression; her expression was unreadable. I couldn't tell whether or not she liked the song.
"So..?" Quincy asked after the track was over.
"I liked the song, the lyrics are really touching." She said slowly. She seemed to be in deep thought. "But the third verse could use some work."
I didn't want to be offended, but I kinda was. I knew the third verse needed work that's why it wasn't going on the album. I guess hearing it come out of some one else's mouth made seem more known. Maybe I was just embarrassed.
"I want you guys to have that verse together." Quincy as he glanced down at his watch. "I want you to be here early tomorrow, around seven. You too, Mike. I want to get this thing started as soon as possible. "
I nodded quickly.
Liyah stood up from her chair. " I'll be here." I watched as she walked over to the couch that was on the far end of the room and grab her purse. I glanced up at the wall it was just a little past three. I knew instantly that she was getting ready to leave, and honestly I didn't want her to.
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Mariah Carey-Mine Again