Finding Me - Book 4

By Erin__Lee

88.9K 3K 1.1K

Emerson Isabella Stratton, 17 years old, bisexual. Emerson struggles with her identity. She is a girl and 9... More

BACK!!
"Sorry But I Can't."
"Date Night?"
"Happy Birthdy to Me!"
"Savior!"
"Taking a Break."
"Moment."
"Come Clean."
"Decision."
"I'm Sorry."
"Meeting."
"First."
"Million Bucks!"
"Chill."
"Uh No."
"Space."
"No Way!"
"Dream."
"Thankful."
"Fall."
"Together."
"Scared."
"Happy."
"Family."
"Lacrosse!"
"Day Off."
"Future."
"Relax."
"Plans."
"Show."
"Ignored."
"Parents."
"States!"
"True Love!"
"Gone."
"For You."
"Prom!"
"Path."
Epilogue pt.1
Epilogue pt.2
Authors Note
Bonus Chapter 1!
Bonus Chapter 2!
Bonus Chapter 3!
Bonus Chapter 4!
Authors Note

"Admire."

1.8K 72 27
By Erin__Lee

My next few days go by uneventfully. Getting up, going to breakfast, then class, then lunch, then class, then the game, and then dinner, becomes a routine.

The time I spend is split, half with Maggie, Jasmine, and Vincent, and the other half with Joy and Jacob.

I get closer with all of them. Maggie and Joy are still the awesome people they were when I first met them.

Maggie and I presented our project and I got the popular vote. The winner of each argument was awarded with 10 extra credit points or 10 points on our cards.

Vincent is the funniest guy I've ever met. He finds it a little hard to be serious when necessary but he's the kind of guy that puts a smile on your face despite any situation.

Jacob is a sweetheart. He walks me to most of my classes, compliments me, smiles at me when he doesn't think I'm looking. His questions about me are all genuine and he really wants to get to know me. It's cute.

And then there's Jasmine. I've accepted that I have a crush on her. She does little things that I probably shouldn't read into but I do. She lies her head on my shoulder during lunch and when we walk to our dorms. Her hand some how finds it's way to mine when we study in the commons. When she hugs me goodbye her fingers play with the hair at the nape of my neck and it sends chills down my spine. And like Jacob she's interested in me. She's asks questions that most people wouldn't ask but she doesn't care if it means getting to know me better.

Meanwhile I just smile at her like an idiot when I think she isn't watching. How could I not she's adorable. When she concentrates in class her nose wrinkles up in the cutest way. Her eyes light up when she laughs. She has a smile that could set anyone's heart a light.

Anyway it's the end of the school day on Friday. My first weekend back home as soon as we get the all clear. I'll be seeing my parents and my friends again.

However I have two hours to kill. Then it dawns on me that I haven't had a chance to check out the lacrosse field.

After finishing my homework I change into some compression pants and basketball shorts, my school tee, and Nikes before heading over to the athletics center.

Upon arriving I'm surprised that the school is so trustworthy of their students, leaving the equipment lockers open. Rummaging through I find a stick and a ball then head out to the field.

I practice shooting for a while, making sure to extend my right arm every time. Then I mess around with different plays, faking as if I have an opponent to beat.

"You know you'll be an all around better player if you learn to attack to the left as well."

Stopping in my tracks I turn around.

"Left isn't exactly my strong suit." I say wiping my sweaty brow with my equally sweaty arm.

The middle aged African American man nods, stepping closer and running a hand over his short buzzcut," that's why you work on it."

"Right. Um, who are you exactly?" I ask.

He smiles, teeth slightly uneven but still white, "Coach Madison." He extends a hand.

"Coach of?" I ask shaking it.

"The basketball, soccer, and lacrosse teams."

My eyes widen a fraction," oh."

"You play good. From what I can see so far. Work on attacking left and come find me when tryouts start in Spring," he walks away," you might want to be getting going it's almost 6:30."

Shit.

I put everything away and rush to my dorm. Taking a quick shower, I get out and put on a pair of black jeans, a burgundy sweatshirt, and black air forces.

"Have a great weekend Joy." I tell her after grabbing my things.

She waves and smiles," you too Emerson."

I nearly crash into Jacob on my way out.

"Sorry." I apologize.

"No worries beautiful it should be me apologizing."

My cheeks heat up, no doubt turning pink as I clear my throat," so uh, what're you doing on this side of the campus?"

"Oh getting Joy, we're heading out to see our folks this weekend," he glances down," seems you had the same idea."

I nod," yeah, I should probably get going though. See you Monday Jake."

He smiles and pulls me into a hug. He has to bend over to properly hug me, his arms wrapped around my middle and one of mine around his neck.

"See ya."

I head to my car, throw my things in the back, and pull off. The drive back home is so long, the five hours seeming like days. It's all worth it though when I pull into the driveway, walk up the path, and into the house.

Voices spill from the kitchen so after setting my bag down that's where I head.

"I'm home." I say peeking around the corner.

Not only are my moms in there but my aunts and uncles are in there too.

All of them.

"Princess!" Ma exclaims coming over to me, lifting me into a hug, and spinning me around.

A smile takes over my face as I hug her back. Then I hug Momma, her hand running over my hair.

"I missed you baby." She whispers.

Chuckling I whisper back," I missed you too Momma."

She pulls away.

"Come on we want love too." Uncle Austin says opening his arms.

I'm passed from him to Ali, Drew, Aiden, Markus, Roxy, Kat, Jordan, Imogen, Val, and Lukas.

Looking at all of them I raise a brow," did I interrupt like a couples night or something?"

"Somewhat."

"Not at all."

I raise a brow at Ma and Aunt Ali's contradictory statements.

"Right. How about I go put my stuff away and go see my friends and I'll be back before midnight."

Momma nods," that's fine honey."

I kiss her cheek and hug Ma before heading upstairs, putting my stuff away, and leaving back out.

Once I'm in my car I call Casey when she answers I call Olivia.

"Bestie!" They both exclaim, an annoying ring sounding through the speakers.

Is that feedback.

I frown," are you two together?"

"What no? Why would you think that? We're both single." They rush out, words overlapping.

"Um I didn't mean it like that I just meant in the same room or car or something the feedback is insane."

I hear Casey's nervous chuckle," oh uh yeah, we're at my place."

"Alright bye." I hang up, not telling them I'm on my way over, wanting it to be a surprise instead.

Pulling up to the curb I kill the engine then head inside. Mrs.Allen lets me in, greeting me with a hug and tells me to head up to Casey's room.

I take the stairs two at a time.

"You think she'd react badly to us?" Olivia asks, worry lacing her words.

Casey responds," why would she?"

"I don't know I just-"

"Babe don't over think this."

"Babe huh? I leave for a week and you two are canoodling and all romantic," I say stepping in the room with a smirk on my face.

Casey's eyes light up, she jumps up from her position on the bed, and throws herself into my arms.

Chuckling I wrap my arms around her.

"I should've known. That phone call was sketchy."

"Sketchy? No." I wave her off before going over to Olivia," what no hug?" I ask opening my arms for her.

She smiles and hugs me," I miss you at school Stratton."

"I don't miss the school but I miss you and the guys."

"They're going to be pissed when they find out we saw you first." She says sitting back down.

I laugh and sit next to her," I bet. Let's not tell them though."

"Why not?"

"She wants to surprise them. She's that type of person." Casey says lying across our laps.

Olivia almost reflexively starts running her fingers through Casey's hair.

"How do you suppose you do that?"

I think for a moment," easy. You invite them to hang out at the mall and I pop up."

"Simple enough." She nods.

"Agreed." Casey says.

I raise a brow," now back on subject. You two, what's this?" I gesture to them both.

"We would've told you but you were going through some things what with Mia, Hayden, and the new school." Olivia says.

Waving her off I say," you two are my best friends! To hell with what I'm going through, you two getting together is awesome you should've told me like the second it happened."

"You're right," Casey nods and Olivia sends her an incredulous look," she's right Liv. If it were her she'd immediately tell us if she were seeing someone. And she's our best friend and this is huge."

Olivia sighs," you guys are right," she pauses," I do think Emerson has some explaining to do though."

"Me?"

Casey's eyes widen in remembrance, she jumps up and grabs her phone. After a few seconds she shows me the screen. It's the photo Joy posted on her Instagram and Snapchat. She tagged me and Jacob in it.

"What?"

They both look at me then Casey zooms in on Jacob's arm around my shoulders.

"That's nothing guys. I mean I don't know. I don't think it's anything. That was my first day and well we are pretty flirty, him more so than me."

"Flirty you say?" Casey asks.

I nod," yeah. He's really sweet and he's always complimenting me and he's just so interested in me."

"Someone has an admirer." Casey grins poking my legs teasingly.

Blushing I swat her hands away," no, I mean I guess so but I um, I like someone."

"Who?" She and Olivia ask at the same time.

I look down at my hands," I'm kind of, most definitely into Jasmine."

"Is she into you?"

I shrug," I don't know. Sometimes I think so. She does little stuff but I could just be reading too much into it."

"Emerson has two admirers." Casey teases again poking my stomach this time.

It tickles and I start laughing trying to fight her hands off. Olivia does the opposite of help, joining the assailant in mercilessly tickling me.

"G-guys stop!" I wheeze out over breathless laughs.

They don't listen.

"I'm- g-going- to ki-kill yo- both."

By the time they stop my face is flushed red, I have to catch my breath, and I have to pee. Standing up I flip them the finger as I head to the bathroom.

"We love you too!" Casey calls.

I roll my eyes, shutting the door. After using the bathroom I wash my hands and go back to Casey's room.

"You guys suck." I cross my arms and lean against the wall.

Olivia chuckles," we love you though Emmy."

"Whatever." Rolling my eyes I go back over to them and lie down.

My feet rest on Casey's wall and my head rests on her lap.

"Do you like OKCA?" She asks playing with my hair.

"It's alright. My classes are okay, the students keep to themselves and their friends really, and all the facilities are nice and spacious."

Olivia pipes up," you replace us yet?"

I glance at her briefly before training my eyes back on the Shawn Mendes poster on the wall," you guys are irreplaceable. I did make some friends though."

I proceed to tell them about Maggie, Vincent, and Joy. We talk for another hour about their new found relationship, Seth and Will, what's been happening at Hersey High since I left. Anything and everything really. Afterwards Olivia and I leave.

"Is the coast clear?" I call knocking on my moms door.

Ma chuckles," yes princess it is, come in."

I cover my eyes and step in the room, peeking between my fingers.

"Oh please, get over here." Momma says.

Smiling I jog over and flop on to the bed between them. Their arms encircle me immediately.

"We missed you so much sweetie." Momma says kissing my forehead.

"I missed you too."

I lay my head on Ma's shoulder and Momma lays her's on mine.

"How are you?" Ma asks.

"I'm good. Great even."

She nods," so I take it OKCA was the right choice?"

"Yeah I think so. It's easier, or at least that's what it seems like. I don't stand out too much but I have a few friends which is great. My classes aren't completely boring." I explain.

Momma asks," what are your classes?"

"Um, Global Politics, Health, Pre-Calculous, English, Art, and Astronomy."

"What's your favorite so far?"

I think momentarily, my cheeks heat up and I smile," art."

Ma leans back a bit and looks at me," what's with the grin kiddo?"

"Nothing."

"Obviously that's a lie. What's so special about Art?"

Jasmine.

"Come again say what?" She says turning her ear to me.

I release a breathy chuckle," it's a class I have with Jasmine."

"Ahhh okay. Your crush is in the class."

I sit straight up, Momma doing the same so her head doesn't fall behind me.

"Who said anything about a crush?"

"Oh please we could tell before you could."

Turning around I sit criss cross and face them," I'm sorry what?"

"We're your mothers Emerson we know you very well. Let me guess you're into her but you aren't sure if she's into you." Ma simply says.

Momma laughs at my expression," and that's not all. Spill the rest."

"Uh," I rub the back of my neck," there's this guy, Jacob, who's really sweet and cute and I think he likes me."

"What's the problem here?" Ma asks.

I shrug," I don't know. I like Jasmine I know but I don't know if she likes me and liking Jacob is easier. I know he likes me it's obvious and like I said he's really sweet."

"Princess I know how tough it is to admire two people or to have two people admire you but just because one route seems easier doesn't mean that's the route to take," Ma grabs my hand," I admired two people back in my senior year of high school. If I'd gone for the easier route you wouldn't be here today."

I frown.

Momma chuckles," back in high school your Ma and Aunty Kat use to date or whatever but your Ma also liked me, I liked her but I didn't know it yet."

"You and Aunt Kat?!" My eyes widen as I look at Ma.

"Yes but that's not the point. The point is easier isn't always better."

I nod.

"Now, you drove a long way, go get some sleep and we'll go out for breakfast tomorrow."

"Okay, Goodnight moms." I say kissing Momma's cheek and Ma's forehead.

When I get into my room I change into a pair of sweatpants and a white tee before going to sleep.

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