Sorry for updating late once again!
This chapter was honestly kind of hard to write and it hurt reading it.
Relationships have their ups and downs but at times it's worth taking a risk.
Remember that.
Anyways, onto my shitty explanation as to why my chapter is up late.
I'm currently traveling in LA, filming and vlogging the whole thing.
So editing is a pain in the ass.
I have a shit ton of homework because it's spring break as well :(
Now then.
Just read.
You don't wanna listen to my bs :D
Remember to vote, comment, follow, and share!
-Anne
•••
Chapter 37 | Trust Can Hurt
The drive home was nothing but peaceful.
Silenced was welcomed and held the secrets of last night.
"I can't believe the school year is almost over." I breathed out, still looking at the freeway.
"Neither can I, this has been my favorite year though." He told me, smiling to himself.
I held his hand tighter and turned to him.
I will never get over how ridiculously good looking his side profile is.
My phone dinged and I reached to grab it, not knowing any who would even bother to text me during the weekend.
Hailey: Tell your boyfriend that my dad secured him a spot on the team permanently.
My eyebrows furrowed at the message.
Lana: ?
Confused was the first thought that ran through my mind, how did she know he got a spot on the team before I did?
Hailey: What can I say? A night in return for a scholarship was a good deal.
At that moment, my heart sunk. Deep down, I knew Gray wouldn't do anything like this.
Would he?
But jumping to conclusions was the last thing I wanted to do when one of the best nights I'd ever spent was still newly fresh in out minds.
"Who was it?" Gray questioned, taking a glance to my phone.
"Just Hailey. I think she's trying to make me laugh because she just told me y'all slept together." I let out, chuckling nervously.
He tensed.
"Yea, crazy right. Tell her to take a chill pill." Grayson laughed and tried to turn his attention back onto the road.
"Gray?" My voice squeaked out. The last thing I wanted to do but seem vulnerable but he seemed so off.
He stayed silent, still focused on the road.
It was ironic.
For once, I wanted him to glance at me and tell me to calm down and that I was crazy for believing shit but he didn't.
After what seemed like now I welcomed silence, he broke the ice.
"It was a while back." He muttered.
Those words sent my heart lurching forward, not ready for the full impact.
"It was a spur of the moment decision, she promised me a scholarship and I held up my bargain of sleeping with her." He told me, still eyes focused on the street that would lead to my house.
Tears brimmed my eyes but my stubborn ass stayed reluctant to let them fall.
"Was it that easy to win you over?" I questioned, my voice nearly cracking.
"We had a thing previously, kinda like on and off." He told me, finally parking on the side of the street.
Eventually, he turned to me.
"When?" She asked, looking down.
"A little before the beginning of the season," He mumbled, reaching out for my hand.
I pulled it back.
"When Gray?" I asked once more, not satisfied with his vague answer.
"Right after the carnival." He replied.
That caught my attention.
I looked up to his blue-ish grey eyes only to find regret and loss of hope.
"Lana—" He stopped, reaching for me once more.
This time I turned around, unlocking the door manually myself.
"Don't Gray. How?—no, why?" I asked, still not looking at him.
The first tear dropped, darkening the cement underneath.
"We were just going out, the beginning. I didn't really think." He tries to explain but I close the door and walk off.
All those times you hear about heartbreak, it seems like an overreaction.
Let me tell you one thing.
It hurts more than one can ever imagine.
•••
Broken.
That was the only way I could ever explain it.
I had went from a third wheel to a heartbroken girl before I could even comprehend it.
The overall bliss only lasts for a minute before your relationship dies out.
Take my parents for an example.
Too afraid of a commitment to divorce because they believe in the useless hope that what could be fixed will be.
Lies.
It hurts like a bitch in the end.
Everywhere I looked it hurt. It reminded me of him.
That stupid keychain, my wallpaper, all these things I still couldn't bring myself to change in hopes of the best coming out of the worst.
I grabbed my phone in a haste and called Belle.
"Hello?" She questioned, probably curious as to why she even received a call in the first place.
We've both been busy and haven't talked much. Not to mention, the fight earlier this year.
"Belle, why does it feel like my heart is breaking?" I muttered, trying to keep my tears at bay.
"Huh?—ohhh. Hol' up. I'll be right there, with ice cream and a shit ton of time for you to bitch and rant." She told me before hanging up.
And just like that, I was left in the same situation as before.
Confused and lonely.
After all, I didn't even know where Grayson and I stood.
•••
The rest of that night was spent bitching, cursing, crying, and silence.
It was a good feeling to have Belle back around but I felt too shitty to appreciate.
To me, it didn't make sense.
That goodbye was so uncertain.
Last night was so perfect.
Today was so not.
And I didn't even know how my world came as fast as it went.
•••
Updated: 4•1•18