Ashton still isn't talking to me.
It's Wednesday and nothing. No words had been spoken between us. He still sits next to me in class and eats lunch with us but we don't speak. I'm invisible. It's making me go insane. I don't enjoy relying on another person, needing to have them in my life. To talk to them. I've taught myself to rely on no one and only count on my siblings to be in my life.
But, like everything else, it's different with Ashton. I feel incomplete without his constant annoyance in my life.
It's terrible.
I spot Avery walking down the hall with her little group of wanna be's. Unsurprisingly, she's taken the break up in stride. Not letting anyone think she was bothered but her tear soaked face at practice Monday gave her away. Watching as she struts down the hallway, her eyes linger on James and I know she's still upset.
She didn't love James. She loved his popularity. A terrible reason to be with someone but that's just who she is. As for James and Stella, nothing's happened yet. They have a Snapchat streak and talk constantly but no relationship.
It's infuriating to watch her blush constantly at her phone but avoid his eyes in the hallway. Yesterday Sage brought James to our lockers before first period in the hopes of them talking. Nothing happened. Instead they stared at each other, blushing like a pair of idiots. Stella even shut her shirt in her locker door, too focused on James standing next to her.
It's painful to watch honestly.
However, progress has been made since then. At lunch Stella and James walk into the cafe together, smiling and talking before they go their separate ways. Ella leans back into her seat, clearly annoyed with the lack of progress, that makes two of us. People, can we please get over the friendship phase?
She slumps into her chair with a defeated sigh, we eye her with pity. "I don't know guys, maybe he isn't that into me."
Surprisingly, before Ella or I can comfort her, Ashton chimes in. "Don't worry about it, Stella, the boy likes you."
Oh, so he speaks now.
She looks at him with a new found hope, "Really, how do you know that?"
Ashton glances over at Sage, who's shaking his head. "You're literally all he talks about. When we're getting ready for practice. Before games. During gym."
We all look over at Sage for confirmation. He squirms uncomfortably, "It's true." He uses finger quotations. "Stella didn't wear black today. Never mind she's wearing a choker. Did you see Stella cheering Friday night? She was awesome! Blah blah blah."
He lets out an agitated grunt, switching back to his normal voice. "Do you know how annoying it gets? I've been friends with you since I was seven. I don't need a play by play of your day or hear how amazing you are."
Her face morphs from shock to fury, reaching over to punch Sage in the arm. Repeatedly. "And you didn't think to tell me earlier!"
Sage glares at Ashton. "Well, normally we keep these conversations private. It's bro code."
Wow. Bro code. I've never heard a sentence sound that douchey.
Stella punches him again. "Best friends trump the bro code you idiot."
Sage opens his mouth to argue but Ella cuts him off. Nothing he possibly wants say will help the situation, my brother has a special talent for accidentally insulting people.
"So why hasn't he done anything about it?" She demands, completely bewildered.
Ashton snorts. "No offense, Stella, but you're kinda scary. You wear black and tend to yell. A lot. He's afraid you'd say no."
"What!" She yells, proving Ashton's point completely. "I would never say no. I mean, have you seen him?" She's also had a secret crush on him since 9th grade but I won't mention that.
Ashton glares at me, "I'm sure we all can agree that he's good looking."
Where the hell did he get that from? I glare back at him.
"What should I do?"
"Wait. " Ella shrugs, "See if he works up the courage to ask you."
Yes, because currently that is going so well for her, at this point Ella's own love life will never take off. James is a really sweet guy but I doubt he'll make the first move.
"No, Stella, you should ask him. Give the boy a push in the right direction." I wink at her.
The entire table gawks at me. "What?" I ask defensively.
I get a bunch of mumbled nothings. I may not be that outgoing but Stella can be.
"Yeah, you're right." She agrees shakily. Before she can second guess herself she gets up and walks towards him.
I slap my hand to my face, "No, not right now!" I try to call out but she's already gone. I can't watch, I try to cover my eyes but Ashton moves them. Giving me a look that says you caused this, now watch.
I give him a dirty look, slightly surprised by how warm his hands are. The cafe is always freezing.
She's at his table. He's smiling at her. They're talking. Avery is staring daggers at her.
Stella breaks out in a huge smile, James stands and picks up his tray. I really wish I could hear what they're saying. They're walking over here. Together. Hand in hand.
She did it.
"Hey, guys, do you mind if I sit with you?" James asks, motioning to the empty seat next to Stella's spot.
We all nod wordlessly, like we would say no?
Am I dreaming? Someone please pinch me. I pinch myself instead, wincing as a sharp pain shots through my arm, that's gonna bruise. This is real. We eat without talking, Ashton and I glaring at each other every few seconds. This is more communication than we've had all week and we aren't even speaking.
James leans over to Stella, clearly uncomfortable. "Are they always like this?" He whispers, pointing to us.
She rolls her eyes, "No, they're just fighting."
"We're not fighting." Ashton and I say at the same time, startling poor James.
I take sudden interest in my sketchbook. I draw when I need a distraction and today definitely calls for a distraction. I sketch the eyes of my companions, taking notice of the subtle differences.
Ella has dainty eyebrows and wider eyes, almost like a doe. Stella's have a slight slant, her eyebrows arched perfectly. James has rounder eyes and a slight unibrow while Sage possesses nice, thick eyebrows. He gets them threaded with me. I avoid Ashton's eyes, if I feel the real need to draw them I can do it by memory.
Ashton takes notice of my sketchbook and I shift it further away from him. He doesn't deserve to see my work, for all I care he could lick rocks.
After what feels like an eternity of awkward silence Sage coughs. "So about the game Friday?"
Conversation flows easily after that.
*****
Wednesday night right before bed Saffron reminds me of her Thanksgiving day feast at school the next day. Of course, I forgot.
So, here I am walking through the empty halls after lunch, headed to the elementary school. I didn't even get to sit in the cafe since I had to take a history test. Now I have the rest of my day free to spend with Saffron.
And, boy, am I famished.
I enter her classroom, the delicious foods grabbing my attention. My stomach growls at the sight of doughnuts. Stop that. I scan the class to find my little sister, spotting her at a corner table, joined by another little girl and a woman.
I fight from doing a happy dance, this must be Ronnie. I walk over and put my hands over her eyes. "Guess who?"
She squeals, "Scarlett!" My heart warms that she's so excited to see me. I know for a fact one day she won't be so happy.
I take the seat beside her, tugging on her hair. "Hey, Squirt." I turn my attention to the little girl. "And you must be Ronnie."
She nods her head shyly, black hair falling over her caramel skin. She's precious in a blue dress and sneakers.
I glance up at the woman who must be her mother, she's paler with short blond hair. I extend my hand, "I'm Scarlett Rhodes, Saffrons sister, nice to meet you."
She offers me a warm smile, "Liz Valdez, Ronnie's mom." A small part of my brain screams that she looks familiar. I glance back down at Ronnie, the pair share the same nose.
We fall into an easy conversation. I find out that she and her husband have been married for eight years and that she has an older son. After eating and watching the Charlie Brown mayflower special the girls go play with the rest of the class.
"I'm so happy she met Saffron, I was afraid this move would be hard for her." Liz confesses, watching her daughter play, a smile so similar to the one my mom used to wear on her face.
I nod, looking back at the girls. "I feel the same with Saffron. She's terrible at making friends, truthfully, it runs in our family."
Liz's face lights up, "That reminds me, Ronnie would love it if Saffron could spend the night Friday, if that's okay with your mother."
I put a fake smile on my face at the mention of my parents. I really didn't want to have that conversation at school.
"That would be absolutely fine." I assure her, my mind searching for an excuse. "The only problem is that there's a football game, I cheer and our brother plays on the team. If we win, we would want Saffron to be there."
"Oh, don't worry, we'll be at the game too. I could just take her after that and then she could be picked up in the morning." She tells me, resting a hand on my arm reassuringly.
I feel panic rising. This would be Saffrons first sleepover. Her first time without any of us. My own anxiety is rising, just imagine what hers would do at the thought of being somewhere by herself. No one to calm her down if she has a nightmare.
I glance back over to her laughing with her new friend. The infamous Dasher Williams trying to steel Saffron's bow from her hair. Ronnie comes up from behind and tackles him to the ground and I shake my head. The only thing keeping Saffron from joining is me, now I see how they became friends
She deserves this.
I swallow the nervous lump in my throat and turn back to Liz. "Absolutely."
*****
I run to the field for practice after spending a little too much time in the classroom. I chose to wait until Jane, Ella's mom, showed up to get Saff and the twins before leaving.
I was having too much fun watching her have fun, raising a child is weird.
Ashton's in our usual spot, waiting for me. He hasn't done that since our whatever you call it. I plan on ignoring him but he catches my arm, his touch sending a tingle through me.
"Where were you?" He asks.
I scoff. "He speaks after all." He waits silently for me to answer. "I was at my little sisters Thanksgiving party. Happy?"
I shrug his hand off of me and begin to storm away. The boy doesn't talk to me for three days and that's the first thing he has to say to me. He follows after me. "Look, I'm sorry Sweetheart. Truce?"
I stop walking and turn to him. "Why did you act like that?" He doesn't get to throw a hissy fit and come back like nothing ever happened.
He scratches the back of his head, showing off his muscles, not that I notice. "I'm a stupid guy. I do stupid things. The important thing is I'm sorry and I want to make it up to you."
Happiness bubbles inside of me. No matter how mad I am, I still missed bickering with him. However, he's not off the hook. I want a real answer but in the meantime I plan on milking the hell out of this apology.
"Ok. I want a piggyback ride down to the field." I tell him with a smirk, almost perfectly mimicking his own.
"Done."
I jump onto his back, contently taking in a deep breath of mint. He begins to walk, taking his time working his way down to the field.
"Hey." He says, I hum in response. "I missed you."
"I missed you too." I find myself admitting, a small smile working its way onto my face. Something tells me I won't be walking anywhere for awhile.
*****
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