~~~
//11:18 pm//
After the welcome party, Asia dropped me off back home, and probably just to get back on my good side again. My life at home was quite frankly the same unfortunately and I started losing hope in ever seeing my mother again. I thought once I turned 17, I could step out into the real world and escape but that quickly backfired a few months after my birthday. But I can't lose hope on ever escaping from this man. He's gotten worse over the years with me and now all bets are off when I do something wrong.
The bottle has really made him far more aggressive these days.
As I walked up my pathway, I went straight around to the back of the house to sneak in. I had curfew at 10 o'clock now but sometimes I could get away with it when he was sleeping. But as I climbed up on to the ledge of the second floor, I knew I wasn't going to get away with it this time. He watched me as I climbed into my room, holding a bottle in his hand like a true drunk just to intimidate me. I could've ran right back out but I never tried that shit again, especially not after all the nightmares of him killing me and the last time I called the cops on him.
I lost...my purity after that...
A memory that still haunts me each time a guy comes my way.
"So you out pass curfew again huh? Ya bitch-ass just don't listen huh?" he said, standing to his feet.
I froze there in my tracks. "It– It was an accident on the road and–"
Before I could finish my sentence, a bottle was being thrown at me but missed me by mere inches as it hit the wall and shattered. I looked at him as he came up to me, smacking me across the face until I fell down to his ankles. He grabbed me up by my hair and choked me up against the wall next.
By then I was crying and terrified of him yet again, I flinched with every movement of his hands as he pushed me roughly on to my bed next. "Wanna disobey me? Huh!" He screamed and started punching down on me.
I whimpered and cried for him to stop, it hurted so bad when he attacked me like this. My skin bruised easily from the impact on my back, and I could feel the pain worsen as he started to become even more angrier with me. "I'm sorry–I'm sorry" I cried, trying to stop him. ...it's a shame that I'm not used to this by now😞
"Shut the fuck up and lay down!"
I obeyed him quickly and laid on my stomach, feeling his hands pulling down my tights and then my underwear until I could feel my bare skin expose to the air. I panted and tried to get myself together, at least what he was about to do didn't hurt me anymore. Not that it felt good to me either, I always felt...dirty and used when he had his way with me.
After pulling down my things, he pulled down his own by the sound of a zipper going down. I closed my eyes when I felt him invade me rougly, causing me to moan as if it was a good thing. He laid on top of me and started groaning and stroking his ish inside hardly. Biting my lip to conceal my moans and whimpers, I cried there on my sheets, hearing nothing but him scolding me and moaning into my ears from raping me. "You must– like this don't you. Keep disobeying me and I'll keep doing this. Fuck– mmm....every fucking time"
//2 days later//
After seven years of my life, I was finally tired and standing on my last legs. For seven years I was used, mistreated, raped, beaten, hit, punched, kicked, smacked, forced, and abused by Terrance. I was always looking for ways out but I could never find the will power in me to try it.
I'm so scared of him. I'm terrified everyday I walk up the front lawn. He has ruined my childhood for me, my teenage years that I should've spent differently was all due to him. Hate is a strong word and I hate this man. Some days I ask myself why I don't just...go and run as far as I can.
It was because I feared he would find me and punish me severely. I had access to fire arms but why didn't I fight back. I feared he wouldn't drop dead, just like that dream I had years ago. I've tried to get the authorities in but the pressure got to me...and my opportunity slipped away. Now he's more strict with me using the house phone and being out too late because he feared of me ever leaving.
Terrance loved me, crazy enough. In a disgusting way he loved it when I was under his control. With that kind of power, he developed feelings when I was just a 6th grader. It's been that long and I grow weary each day. I pray that one day I can finally be freed. I would kill to be...
//At School; 1:25 PM//
Word around the school is, that Roy got shot yesterday while I stayed home from a mix of injuries. You should see how the hoes of this school stick on to him after that got out. He's such a man whore. Won't be happy til one of the jocks kick his ass for winking at their girlfriend.
We didn't speak however, I just wasn't in the mood to be talking or...in this case–arguing. My body still hurt from being beaten the other day and I think I had a minor concussion again. I was miserable.
Clicking on another picture to add to my digital collage on Google for my project, I was startled when he came up to me unexpectedly.
"Hey" he said.
"What?" I looked at him, bothered by his presence alone.
"Why you ain't say hi to me today?" he teased. "Gotta nigga ion know about giving you hickies and making you act calm all of sudden. Damn he punished your delinquent-ass good–" he said, pulling my hair back.
Immediately I thought about Terrance and how he did punish me. I know he was probably just saying shit to ruffle my feathers but it got to me because it was the truth.
I got up from my chair and bumped him on my way out of the room suddenly. I didn't want anyone to see me so vulnerable and crying so I had to quickly run to the bathroom and let it all out in the disability stall. Tears rolled down my cheeks as soon as I locked the door. I hate living like this when everyone else around me seemed happy and normal. It's not like people know about me being abused, so I had to keep it all bottled in and that wasn't healthy.
But who could I talk to?
//That Saturday evening//
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Tiahwitdacake: 😍😍😍🤤🤤🤤
Frida_12: *drops pants*
G-Unit567: Daddy🤔😓😩🤤
JeanMcCloud3: come my way daddy😩
Shunna_____: Zaddy gosls😝🍆🍆🍆
Liesnbowties: dm me😏
Unique_Lovin: Roy you so sexy🤤😍
Rolling my eyes at the comments and backed out to keep stalking his page, I jumped up to the sound of my door opening.
"Rowan, I'm going out. So don't leave this house. If I find out you did, I'm a beat your slut-ass again" He said, talking to me from my door.
I looked at him and nodded my head, watching him slam my door to leave me in the dark once again. I wanted to leave but...I was afraid of what could happen to me if I did. I have had dreams of him....killing me, that always made me think twice in leaving this man. I was stronger than this but...he broke me down, I knew my place in this house and I didn't dare to fight it. I tried that already and look where I am now...
On the brightside, I had a decent place to live, a phone bill that's always paid, my hair was always done and I had tons of clothes. I give him that but never did I agree to be his property after he buys me shit.
Anyways, I made my time useful and went on my phone again to go through the gram. I swear this one nigga keeps hitting me up but...I just wasn't interested. Even if I did want to be in a relationship right now, I know my step-father wouldn't allow that to happen. I haven't had a boyfriend since Tyrell and we all know what happened next. I tried to love Reese but I just couldn't jump on the bandwagon. Now this nigga don't even know me anymore.
The niggas in Oakland make me sick, none of them respect women anymore. They just want us for a good time and that's all,....like we're toys. And speaking of a no-good-ass-nigga again ....
RoyalPain_: shout out 2 my bby girl on her bday🎈🎊 #bdaygirl
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Ugh, I hated that bitch still...and him too come to think about it. I really didn't hate Royal, who am I kidding....he's gorgeous. I find myself looking at every picture he posts, but this bitch Lauren was annoying. I swear she gets every guy she comes across and it's fucked up. Like I know she's pretty and smart and all but...
I don't know....
I hate to admit it but I was just being jealous honestly, everyone is jealous of Lauren. She's "the most prettiest girl" in the whole school and gets straight A's and her parents are ballin' like that. How could I not be jealous, this bitch had everything...and here I am being abused, missing my mom, don't know my dad, struggling to keep my head up, crying every night because my life is shit...
And on top of all of that, she has Roy's attention. Its no secret that I like that motherfucker, but then again I can't stand him. He's such a dick but I love it for some reason. I melted when he gripped me up at the party and warned me....like I'm going to stop being a bitch to him. Ha.
But now he likes Lauren, I think he always did and hated me. But I can't get mad or depressed over a nigga, if he doesn't want me...then why cry about it. Maybe I should loosen up though, I really did want him to notice me in that way.
Little did I know that he wasn't as much of a heartless person than I thought. You wouldn't try to...help someone if you didn't care somewhat.
~
//January 12th//
Back in school again, I peacefully started working on the worksheet the substitute gave us when Royal came and sat in front of me. "Yo..." He called, pulling out my ear buds annoyingly and interrupting my Chris Brown.
"What?" I slightly yelled, annoyed with him.
"Can you help me?" He smiled.
"No..., go back to your seat up there" I said, putting my ear buds back in.
He reached over yet again and pulled both of them out to piss me off. I pushed him away but he pushed me right back. Not giving up, we both started pushing and shoving each other until I grabbed his ear.
"Ah! Okay okay–...." He said in pain.
"Leave me alone..." I released his ear roughly from my fingertips.
"No, I need you to help me first and then I wanna know what's up with you acting like that"
"Acting like what?!" I asked with an eyebrow raised.
"Like a bitch to me, did I do something?"
"What don't you do, Roy? Your presence is annoying me right now"
"I doubt that baby girl" he sat back and smiled at me.
I rolled her eyes and continued to do my classwork. "Don't call me that shit, not when you callin' that other bitch that too..." I mumbled.
"What other girl did I call baby girl?"
"The pretty one, you went to her birthday party and everything..." I folded my arms, getting jealous all over again from the thought.
"Oh Lauren? I sure did call her that didn't I...., well fuck. I can call you my baby girl too if I want. Help me with this shit yo, you know I got shot the other day. Not once did you ask if I was okay"
"Nigga because I don't fuck with you" I chuckled.
"Why not? What did I do to you? We fight all the time, so what..."
"Royal please–just..." I said, wanting to push him away.
Suddenly, he reached over and turned my head to the left weirdly. "What are you doing?" I asked, pushing away his hands immediately. ...he probably was looking at what Terrance did to me this morning with his belt.
"Why you got a red line going around your neck like that? What is that?" ...yep.
I looked away and pulled my hoodie up further to cover it. "Nothing..."
"Is someone...um–"
"No! Just- just leave it alone Royal......please" I begged, feeling emotional from not being able to tell him the hurtful truth. ...I couldn't trust anyone anymore after both the people I thought cared about me betrayed me.
After he stared at my emotions for a minute, he finally said something. "Aight, I'll just see you later then...okay. We might not be...close but you can always call me if you...got something going on" he said, changing my view very quickly of him now. ...he could hear my faint cry for help.
To be continued...
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Hey, thanks for reading. Hope you all are enjoying the story so far and feel free to talk to me and tell how you feel.
Q: Thoughts 🤔 Rowan liking Roy😏 Roy offering help🙏🏼