The wind was roaring, the trees were dancing and my mood was instantly lifting. I watched on as the park slowly evacuated, the sky taking on a dark grey hue and the clouds covering the former light blue sky and scintillating sun. Bright colored umbrellas made their way into the scene and children shrieked as they ran home before the downpour struck.
"Bell! It's going to rain!" Will exclaimed excitedly, reading my mind. This is why I loved him. We shared most of the same interests, and the few things we didn't have in common, we learnt to love for each other.
"I know!" I said, as a raindrop fell on my nose. He kissed it away. "I love the rain almost as much as I love you,"he said, smiling like an idiot. No matter how cheesy he could be, I always found myself smiling like an idiot too.
We were sitting under our favourite tree in the park-our special spot. We almost always came there when we were alone. We didn't like eating out at fancy restaurants and generic things most other couples did. We preferred having simple picnics under our special tree, just the two of us. Those were the best days.
"You know why I love the rain?" I asked Will with a wistful look in my eye. "Petrichor. It's the word for 'the smell after it rains'. While everyone else is looking forward for rainbows, that's enough to satisfy me."
Will looked at me like I was the most interesting specimen on earth. "I love your mind. I love how you think of everything in such different ways. You see the world with such a unique perspective that it's hard to believe we live in the same one. It's hard for me not to fall in love with you again every time I see you."
Why do you do this to me, Will? Why me? Do you think I'm not aware of how capable I am of hurting you? Do you assume I don't notice when you fake a smile? Do you think I believe you when you tell me that my disorder isn't bothering you? I wasn't a girl with no self esteem, or one who was uncomfortable in her own skin. I most definitely wasn't a girl who doubted herself to a point that she didn't understand why anyone hung out with her. However, I was aware that I was abnormal. I knew for a fact that I was a hard person to get close to. It wasn't really my fault, I accepted that, but I also could never understand why he was torturing himself by attaching himself this much to me. Sooner or later, I was going to lose it all. It was like I had an hour-glass embedded in my mind; a little bit of sand draining out every day. The time will come when I would come to an end.
I kissed him, but didn't say anything more out of fear that I would ruin the moment. It was too beautiful outside for an argument. I took his hand. "Why wait for a rainbow when you can jump in the puddles? I asked, splashing him.
He scowled. "I'm getting you back for that, Bell!" He shouted over the downpour, jumping into a puddle beside me. I laughed and twirled as the raindrops fell on my head. He filled in the distance between us and kissed me on the forehead. Somehow, I liked when he did that more than anything else. It made me feel protected; like he would always be there for me. I shivered, not from the coldness, but from the gentleness of his touch. "I love your laugh,"he whispered in my ear. "It's so distinct and ridiculous that I know I'll never forget it."
I couldn't help but laugh when he said that, then stopped when I heard it myself. "You're right, it's disgusting. But if you love it, I'm not complaining." We were a cringe-worthy couple, no doubt. But I guess that's what we loved the most about our relationship. Will and I weren't reserved around each other. I always spoke my mind around him; ranging from the weirdest commentary to the deepest and darkest of thoughts. I really hated it when people didn't say sweet things to their partner because they were afraid of judgement; it wasn't right. Will was the opposite of that. We had Ava to hold us back when we were getting too sappy, but mostly she let us be.
Every couple faced ups and downs in their relationships- the usual being the fears of judgement, commitment, no mutual understanding and different dreams and journeys to embark upon. Will and I knew we didn't fall into the general category. We both knew we were that 'forever couple'. We understood each other better than anyone, we'd been best friends for years and we loved each other despite all flaws and petty arguments. The only thing holding us back was my DID. The one thing that couldn't get better over time. It only got worse.
"Will,"I whispered, looking into his eyes. He looked at me with equal love and interest. "Can we not think about tomorrow and just live in a series of todays?"
The intensity of his gaze softened at that and he pulled me in close. "I don't care who you wake up as next, Holly. I'm going to love you today, tomorrow and every day after that."
My eyes filled with tears. I prayed that the falling raindrops would hide what I was feeling, but I knew they didn't when I saw Will's expression mirror my own.
We both stood there, holding onto each other, tears streaming down our faces as the rain poured. I knew, with a sinking feeling, that that was the summary of our relationship.
A series of beautiful moments that would vanish away when reality hit us. Yet, how much ever it hurt us, we still held on because without that series of beautiful moments, we didn't have anything left in the world. Without him, I was nothing but an hour-glass with my time ticking, second by second.
• • •
A/N A deep chapter. I think this is more of my style of writing, so I really felt this chapter.
Let me know what you think!
Also, I'm going to be updating daily for a while because I finally have enough time to write! Yay! :)
Hope you like the book so far!