Maggie and I smiled at each other as we got back in the car. We stopped for dinner at another burger joint, and once again, the conversation turned to our world vs. theirs.
"I'd like to know more about this TV show of yours," Said Dean. "Like how much of our story does it tell you?"
I looked at him for a minute and glanced at Maggie. She wasn't looking too happy. "Dean," I said. "I'm not sure that's a really good idea."
"Why not?"
I sighed. "Does it really matter, knowing the details?"
"Why wouldn't you want to tell us huh? What's the big secret? Maybe there are no details because this is all a big scam?"
I took in a big breath and blew it out slowly. "Dean," I said quietly. "I don't want to tell you because I know how I'd feel hearing the same things about me. You're going to get pissed off, even hurt. At the very least it will make you extremely uncomfortable. I'll tell you if you really wanna know, but I highly advise against it."
"I do really want to know, yes," Dean answered. "I think it's important to know. I think we need to know how close this show is really related to our lives. Maybe its just a general likeness and not the same on the specifics. We need to know that. Or maybe there really aren't any specifics for you to know and that's why you're stalling."
"I chuckled and shook my head. "Now there's the Suspicious Dean we all know and love. Okay then, I tried, didn't I?" I said sadly. "But don't say I didn't warn you."
"So here goes. If the show runs true to your lives, then we have shared in all your deepest emotions. We've seen you cry every time one of you dies, or when one of the people you love dies; your dad, Bobby, Ellen and Jo, or when you think you've failed someone, or someone's death was your fault, like Kevin or Pam. We've seen you hurting so bad inside we can barely stand it ourselves. Our hearts break every time you lose or have to leave someone you love, like Jessica, Lisa or Amelia." I turned to Sam. "And watching you have to kill Madison just about tore us up."
By this time I was tearing up myself. 'We see you beat yourselves up all the time because you think you've screwed up, or let someone down, especially each other. We've watched you both tear yourselves up with guilt and self-loathing. We've seen the dark sides of both of you, like when you tortured Alistaire and Sam let Ruby seduce him into using his dark powers to kill Lilith and release Lucifer. We've seen you get so angry at each other that you beat each other up, or one of you leaves for a while, but that never really lasts. Except this time it's maybe too broken to be mended, and our hearts are hurting over it."
"We've also seen you make love, and be happy, if only for a little while. We see more than your lives, Dean. We've seen into your hearts. Shit, we've seen into your souls. We not only know what you do, we know how you feel, and who you really are, the kinds of things you don’t show to the world, or even to each other." Tears were running down my face by this time, and Dean and Sam were both swallowing hard. Maggie was subdued and looking down at her feet.
Nobody said anything for a good four minutes, which is a really long time when you're waiting for someone to say something. Finally, in true Dean tradition, he said, "Wait, what? You've seen us making love? How much does it show?"
Both Maggie and I at the same time mumbled "Not enough!" And that broke the ice a bit, and we all laughed.
Then Dean sighed. "You were right," he said. "I don't like it. It kind of gives me the willies," he said with a shiver. "But I still think we needed the information if we are ever going to figure out what's going on. But what you said this morning about our lives fitting into a pattern of a TV show. I still don't get that.
"Okay," I said, "That's a fair question. So consider this. The show on our world is about to wrap up it's ninth season. That's pretty long for a niche show, so it's been extremely popular.
"How Popular?," asked Sam, which made Dean frown at him.
"Well let's see, "I said. "The actors who play you are sex objects on our world. There are dozens of fan sites, thousands of sexy pics on the internet of the guys who play you, and I really mean sexy! People write fan fiction about you and make videos about you and the show. There've been conventions for the show where fans meet the actors and ask them all sorts of questions about the show, its characters and their personal lives.
Dean was looking a little green. "So thousands of people know all this intimate stuff about us?"
"Millions," I corrected. "But Dean they don’t really know you. It would be just like if Dr. Sexy were real on our world. He wouldn't know that you know all about him. None of these people even know you are real!"
"You do," he said.
"Yeah," I said quietly, and glanced at Maggie. "We do. And I'm sorry that makes you uncomfortable."
Dean looked at Maggie, who was looking back at him and said, "Yeah well, I'll get used to it. Let's get back to the pattern thing."