*
When I returned to my suite, I passed out cold, flopping onto the bed like a man who'd had enough of the world- and I'd have thought of myself as such a man. It was father's amber eyes that met mine as I struggled to get up later in the afternoon.
"How do you feel?"
"Better. Where is everyone?" Looking around, I saw it was only the two of us.
"They're outside. Kaia, Immortal Gale and that young man are waiting for you."
"Akosua, what about her?"
"Gone- had to run an errand of some sort. But she's needed back in Anglia and should be leaving soon with her wife. She sends you her love."
"I see."
Already wrapping his arms around me, Father asked, "Do you feel strong enough to walk?"
"Maybe with some help."
I got out of bed, leaning onto his bulky form as he brought me close. Groaning, my fingers clutched tight at his waist.
"Steady now."
Raising my eyebrows, I nodded down. "Your suitcase."
Father left an arm around my middle, bending to pick up his travelling case. Instead of the fancy tunic and baggy, ankle-length ghattes he'd had on the night before, he sported a simple polo neck-trouser combo.
"I'm sorry to be leaving you so soon. But I trust you'll be okay with Kaia and your other friends."
"Where are you going?"
"Home. Your mother needs to know what's happened. Better face to face than over the phone."
"Understandable."
Father didn't move forward just yet; he let his eyes close, bent his head, and took in a weak breath, though he found it in him to look me right in the eye eventually. "I know you're still upset. But, when you return to the house, I hope you'll find it a little easier to be around me."
"You're not going back to your post?"
"Not for a long while. Promise me you'll take care. And call."
"I'll do that." I hesitated. "Thanks, by the way. I know it must've been hard to say what you'd said."
"Anything for you, son."
After leaving The Dome, Akosua had prepared and lent us the use of her home in the city. About three in the afternoon, a few days later, Gale pulled me to one side. I'd just been about to head over to the prison to visit Yafeu again- now able to walk on my own without feeling like passing out -but Gale had stopped me, placing her hand on my shoulder.
"Jacob, If you have a minute-"
"Excuse me." A maid tentatively called, stepping into the lounge. "There's a man here for Miss Boahinmaa. Karlton Jones, I believe?"
"Good!" Gale smiled brightly, clapping her hands together.
"I'll see you later." Shouldering my own bag, I nodded and went on.
The air outside was cool, and it looked like it would start to rain. Sure enough, a drizzle began after I'd met Karlton in the hall, just as I stepped beyond the door. Karlton patted my shoulder in acknowledgement as I went by and ran a hand through his damp hair, looking carelessly cheerful.
Some would say I was a fool for visiting the prison again. Kaia would've (but she'd decided to sleep in). But I couldn't deny my knack for holding on to memories of days long gone. At times, a shadow of somebody, a wisp of an image from the past, would dance before my eyes, a brazen taunt if I ever saw one. Of Yafeu's illusions, I was free, but my own guilt conjured up pictures of what'd I'd lost.
The feeling pushed me forward, guided my feet closer to where I needed to be. But I may as well have been walking over hot coal; my whole body shook from the heat of the sudden white-hot anger surging through me, and turning back didn't seem like such a bad option anymore.
Why did I have to go to Yafeu, anyway? Why did I have to see him, the man who'd considered hurting another human being in the way he had an acceptable thing to do?
Taking refuge under the awning of a shop, my head fell into my hands, and my fingers dug so harshly into the damp skin of my face that I screamed. Passers-by hurried along, finding the idea of even sparing a glance too bothersome.
The thought of Yafeu wasting away in a cold, wet cell, with nothing to do apart from counting floating dust mites in still air, didn't trigger the satisfaction that others might've felt.
So I went on.
But, even after reaching Kalamar Prison, even after lowering myself down into the stiff seat that I'd been occupying only days before, my going in the first place seemed to be nothing more than a wasted effort. In my mind, at least, that was what everything would amount to: time wasted.
Yafeu had his head bowed as I entered the visitor area, though he lifted his eyes when my footsteps neared his cubicle. In the dull light seeping through the few windows around the room, Yafeu seemed greyer than the walls around us. His lips twitched into a sort of smile- something between a smirk and a scowl.
I dropped into the seat and coughed, fingers trembling. It'd all seemed so easy when I'd planned out the visit in the morning; I'd just waltz on in. And I guess I thought I'd keep my mouth shut during the whole thing, too, because I sure as hell didn't know what to say to the man when I actually arrived.
The temperature of the air seemed to drop tenfold, and I swear I shook more violently than a desert mole rat in the Frozen Plains. Then came the talking. Why I thought Yafeu would even want to hear about how I'd tripped over a hair brush two hours earlier is beyond me. Gods, the entire ordeal was just pure torture. I didn't know which was worse: the endless stream of crap spewing from my mouth, or feeling as though I'd lose it if I took so much as a glance in Yafeu's direction.
"I can't believe you came. Alone this time, I see," Yafeu commented, his voice deadly soft.
"I don't want to be; it's terrifying." You're terrifying.
The words hurt him- I know they did -and perhaps I wanted them to. Perhaps I wanted him to endure a fraction of the pain I'd been subjected to. Petty.
Yafeu pressed his lips into a thin line, just as I took a peek at his face to see what my words had done to him. He was a man broken, a man who had...No, it'd be wrong to say he'd had absolutely nothing. I was there with him. That had to count for something, right?
"Why did you come?"
"You asked me a question, so I came back to answer it."
His shoulders shuddered, bobbing up and down violently. He pulled a hand to his mouth to hide the nervous smile that played along his lips and sniffled.
"Well?"
"Listen," I started, sounding harsher than I'd intended to. "I can't forgive you, but I'm willing-"
"Dear spirits. You can just say you want nothing to do with me. Don't put me up to this bullshit; you hate me," he said, the tears now running freely over the hand he'd clasped over his mouth.
So, clearly, this was going nowhere, and if trying to wound me was his goal, I'd say he did a good job. Though, strangely, I felt like laughing at the absurdity of it all, at where we were, what was being exchanged between us.
"So, so stupid," Yafeu mumbled to himself, starting off quiet before his voice progressed into something louder, more frantic. "I'm a damn idiot." Remembering that I was still in there with him, Yafeu swivelled his glazed eyes towards me, letting his hand drop.
"You should go. You can't be here," he added. The words wobbled from his mouth in a broken line so marked by pain that one wrong breath would've been enough to send them all crashing into one another. He held his breath like he was hoping for a last minute reprieve, an unexpected change of heart on my part.
But I just stayed rooted to my seat. I just couldn't make my mind up; one minute I didn't want to see his face, and the next it seemed I'd glued myself to his side.
"Piss off, Jack. Don't do this to me."
In silence, I stared on at him.
"I thought I'd find you here," someone else said.
Looking back, my gaze landed on Kaia. Her arms, usually up to the elbows with all sorts of bracelets and bangles, were bare. She wore a simple tunic, tied at the waist with a black sash, over a dark grey skirt. To me, she looked like somebody had drained the personality right out of her.
"Are you finished?" she asked, looking on at us with tired eyes.
I pursed my lips, saying nothing, but Yafeu took it upon himself to answer.
"We're done." His words, so clear-cut, so final, sent a jolt through me and were enough to get Kaia herself to glance at him.
I knew that this was it, that nothing would be the same again. Yet, even with this knowledge, I didn't budge, not until Kaia pressed a hand on my shoulder, pulling me back into reality.
~
The house was empty by the time Kaia and I returned, and none of the maids knew where Gale or Karlton had gone. Seeing no other option but to wait for them to show up, I slumped onto the living room sofa. Kaia lowered herself beside me, dropping herself down like a puppet who'd had its strings cut. Her head fell onto my shoulder, the contact prompting me to look down at her. She'd been crying again.
"I wish it could be easier to hate him. I want to hate him so badly, " she confessed, her voice dwindling down to a breathy sigh. With her eyes half-lidded, she reached out a hand and laced her fingers with mine.
"You sound tired."
"I am. Walking around aimlessly for hours does that to you."
"I was walking with you, but I don't sound like I'm about to drop dead."
"You sat on a bench and dozed off for forty-five minutes. I couldn't even stand still."
"Forty-five minutes? Could've sworn it was ten."
Sighing again, Kaia extricated herself from the arm I'd wrapped around her subconsciously. She faced me with watery eyes. One of her hands traced a path to my cheek and rested there. The other pressed against my shoulder as she leaned in. Her movements slowed to a stop halfway. "Can I...?"
"Mm." I barely nodded.
I was so tired; I just sat there, allowing her lips to find their place against my own, though my better judgement screamed in protest. She pulled back after a good five seconds.
"Kaia, we should take things slow," I managed, missing the feeling of her lips, despite myself.
Her shoulders fell, maybe from the disappointment of not hearing exactly what she'd wanted to. But her face relaxed as she experienced a new-found relief. An outright rejection was far from what I'd given her.
"About the house and the money, I'm sorry I didn't get to say thank you earlier, so, er, thanks."
"Don't worry about it, really." Kaia fell back against me, already about to drift off.
"Hey, do you think you'll be up for a night out around town any time soon? We should catch up."
"Sure. It'll be a fresh start for us."
"Mhm."
The both of us didn't bother saying one word about all the things, all the people, that would end up becoming nothing more than memories, both good and bad.
*
Discussion: Do you agree with Jacob choosing to pay Yafeu a second visit? What are your opinions regarding his relationship with Kaia now? Is choosing to start fresh truly the best decision?
Feel free to comment and vote if you enjoyed this chapter!