Chapter 5 - Too Good For Me
Kate beckett's POV
I sat inside his bedroom. I couldn't believe Lanie had said that. I didn't need to get lectured up. I knew I had been drinking too much, I just hadn't cared at the moment. I needed to just relax and I couldn't do that sober. If I was sober I was always tense. My body was always ready for whatever would come, and I just needed to get away from that a little. And one night every now and then wasn't bad right? Maybe she is right, maybe I should stop. After some minutes I heard a knock on the bedroom door and I remembered I wasn't alone in this loft. Rick came inside, I didn't see him since I had my head in my hands but I could hear him get closer. He sat down beside me and I felt the warmth from his body coming at me, so did the calm he felt.
"Heey" he said with this softest voice I had ever heard.
I looked up at him and I tried to smile. He didn't need to deal with this, he seemed like a wonderful guy, plus he was ruggedly handsome, and he definitely did not need to have a girl like myself in his life. I was only trouble.
"Hey" I decided to whisper cause I knew my voice would break if I spoke, yet it made no difference, it broke anyway.
I could see something change in his blue, deep eyes and his arms were suddenly wrapped around me. I stiffened since I didn't know what was happening and it was a reflex. But after a few minutes my body started to relax and I was surprised by that. All the tension, that usually never leaved my body when I was awake and sober, left. Just like that. Gone.
Slowly I put my head gently against his shoulder and we stayed like that for a while before any of us decided to break the comfortable silence.
"You want to talk about it?" he carefully asked and I immediately shook my head against his shoulder.
"No" I mumbled.
I never wanted to leave this room, his arms. There was a static which had been floating inside my veins ever since his arms first touched me and I kind of liked it. I liked the way his embrace made me feel like home, and his scent was wonderful. But I shouldn't stay here, couldn't. I had a job which I would never be able to tell him, and one day the job might get him killed. I didn't care much for me but if we both ended up dead because of me I would never forgive myself. I started to pull away from his comfy arms and avoided looking into his eyes.
"I should probably go, I guess you have things to do and I... I have things too" i stumbled across the words and I looked up when I saw that he shook his head.
"I have the day off, why don't you stay and we could... watch a movie" he said and I thought about it for a moment.
I met his eyes and he reached out his hand to my cheek and wipes away the tears I'd had there during this whole conversation. The feeling from his hand was nice and it started to bubble inside of me. This feeling was completely new to me, I didn't know what was going on.
"I'd like that" I answered and I couldn't help but smile.
We stood up and Rick took my hand and led me into the living room. We sat down on the floor and he took out as many of his movies as he could and we spread them out to look them through.
"How about this?" Rick asked and held up a James Bond movie.
Without even thinking about it I shook my head violently. He looked at me with question in his eyes.
"I don't feel like a spy movie" I said without mentioning it reminded too much of my own life.
I wanted something normal, or something that didn't have too much action in it. I looked down at the movies again, trying to find something I could suggest instead of the Bond-movie. I took up the first movie I kind of thought looked good, without thinking about it was a guy I was going to watch it with.
"Pretty Woman?" he asked and I looked at the movie.
"Too girly for you?" I teased.
I didn't know if we knew each other well enough to tease, hell we didn't know each other at all, but I couldn't help it. I felt so comfortable with him, it was ridiculous.
"No, let's watch it" he said and took the movie from my fingers before I could even blink.
I started laughing and felt the gaze he was giving me. It felt good, I hadn't laughed in a sober state in a long time. Sure I had laughed with Lanie and Jenny but not like this. After he'd put the disc in the tv he returned to me and reached out his hand towards me. I took it with a smile and he helped me up, with a little too much force. I wasn't ready so I fell and knocked down him with me. I was on top of him and I didn't quite know what to do. He was so close, our noses almost touched and this strange feeling hit me. Kiss him, this thought circled around my head and I didn't know if I should go through with it. We stared into each others eyes, I drowned in his. I broke our eye-contact for a millisecond when my gaze flipped down at his lips and back again. His breath hit my face over and over again with a warmth that made it feel good. Without a more thought I slowly bent my head closer to his and my lips barely touched his. He was the one to close the last space between our lips and his lips were soft against mine. We pulled away to catch our breaths and the smile on my face refused to conatin itself. I bit my lower lip and my cheeks turned hot. I knew I was blushing but it was a feeling I hadn't felt since I got the job, which must be about four years ago.
I pulled away and stood up, I took his hand and he got to his feet too. He had a smile that mirrored mine. He put a hand on my cheek and before he could bend himself I stood on my toes and our lips met again. This time he deepened the kiss and it was more passionate than any of my previous kisses. It frightened me but I didn't pull away, I liked the way his lips felt like they fitted perfectly against mine. I pulled away to catch my breath and he did too.
"Let's watch the movie" he said panting.
I nodded and he took my hand to lead me to the couch. We sat close together and I could feel my lips tingle. It was a strange but fun feeling. He started the movie and we watched it in silence. During the movie our fingers intertwined and his thumb made small circles on my hand. I didn't know if he did it by instinct or if he thought about it, but it felt nice. When the movie came to it's end I had my head in his knees and I played with his fingers. I looked up at him and his eyes were on me, they were filled with something, if I wasn't wrong i would say it was love. But since I hadn't seen it before I couldn't be sure. He pulled away his hand from mine and I wrinkled my forehead. He put his arms under me and lifted me up. I gave away a surprised scream before laughing and wrapped my arms around his neck so I for sure wouldn't fall. He carried me into his bedroom and put me down on his bed. He lay down beside me and we looked into each others eyes.
I moved closer and he put his hand gently on my cheek before he kissed me. His lips moved softly against mine and his tongue brushed lightly on my lower lip. I opened up and his taste filled me. I became dizzy and couldn't think about anything else but him. I made a sweeping move and put myself straddling over him. I unbottoned his shirt and I let my fingers travel over his bare chest. I could feel him getting harder against me and I smiled into our kiss. I broke it to sit up and pull off his sweater over my head. I started kissing him again. His hands explored my body and I pulled off his pants. He made a move which knocked me over and suddenly he was on top of me and not the other way around. Our kisses became deeper and more and more passionate for each second that passed. His hand traveled from my neck to my chest, down my belly and stopped by my pants. He started pulling down my pants but stopped with everything without any warning.
"Kate" he panted and looked at me.
I looked up at him with a questioning look.
"Are you sure?" he asked and I giggled.
He was too good for my own good. I put my own hand in his boxers and grabbed him to make him want it more.
"In case you're still unsure, that's a yes" I panted and he kissed me before pulling off my pants.
His hand rubbed my area and I moaned into his mouth. He bit my lip carefully and I responded by doing the same. Suddenly my panties were off and I felt him hesitating. I helped him off with his boxers and he placed himself right before sliding inside of me. We both moaned in synchronization and the heat in the room just raised. He stopped kissing my lips and kissed my neck instead.
"Rick" I moaned into the room.
The hesitation Rick had felt was gone and without warning he sucked my breast which only made me moan louder. I dug my nails into the bed mattress since I didn't want to hurt his back.
I didn't want him to stop. I would never want him to stop.