10; the one with Ross' flirting.
"I was not flirting!", Chandler entered the apartment where Rachel, Phoebe and Alycia were currently in. They turn to look at him, confused as to what he was talking about.
"And on your anniversary...for shame!", Ross replied.
"What's going on?", Rachel decided to ask.
"Chandler was hitting on the hot delivery girl!".
"I was not and, oh god, shh!", he snapped back, afraid Monica could hear from her bedroom.
"Well, I'm sorry, but you were. And besides, if anyone should be hitting on her it's the guy who's single, okay? The guy who can do something about it".
"Sounds like someone wants to be Mr. Pizza delivery girl", Phoebe smirked.
"Cute!", Alycia joked, looking up at Ross with a smirk. "Ross has a crush on someone other than Rachel", she jokes, signing in a mocking tone.
"Is that what this is about?", Chandler asked. "You like Caitlin?".
Ross gave Rachel a look and she quickly started laughing. "Ross, we broke up two years ago, you've been married since then...I think it's okay that we see other people".
"Well, I was watching her the other day at the pizza place and she was just so sexy, and funny, and has the cutests little...".
"Okay, we don't need her measurements", Rachel warned, cutting him off.
"Pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni", Phoebe said while looking each box of pizza. "Okay, Ross, I know she's pretty and you love her but is she stupid? She forgot my vegetarian".
"This is perfect", Ross smiled. "She'll have to come back with your pizza and when she does, I will turn on the charm-o'-Ross".
Alycia stares at him, a blank expression on her face. "Can you not turn than on...please?".
Ross glared at her, but decided to ignore her mocking. "Pheebs, I'm so glad you don't eat meat".
"Vegeterianism benefits everyone", she replied with a smile, shrugging.
"Hey, everyone", Joey greeted as he entered the apartment. "Do you remember my grandmother?".
Everyone greeted her happily. They remember her from a few years ago when she visited Joey for his birthday. They didn't really talk to her cause she only speaks Italian.
"So Joey on Law and Order", Chandler started. "You must be very proud".
"Chandler, she doesn't understand a word of english".
"I'm sorry. I thought you were Joey's other grandmother".
"Whoa, you're really stupid", Alycia chuckled, eating a slice of pizza.
"Right. Sorry, I've done it again", Chandler insisted while looking at the confused woman.
"Anyway", Joey said as he took his grandmother's coat off to hang it near the door. "Nonna's my biggest fan. She's the only one in the family who's always believed in me", he continued. "Si, Nonni? Io sono numero uno, no?".
"Yeah, big star", his grandmother smiled. "My big fat Joey star".
His grandmother walked to the living room to sit down while the friends stared at Joey who was awkwardly chuckling.
"Yeah, I weighed like 27 pounds when I was born", he said. "Hey, my grandmother really wanted to meet you", Joey continued when everyone started doing what they were previously doing before Joey came into the apartment.
"Aw, I wish we could speak the same language so I can talk to her", Alycia said, walking up to hug her boyfriend.
"Happy to be the translator", Joey offered, kissing her forehead as he hugged her back.
Joey and Alycia walked to the living room with his grandmother to sit down and try to have a little conversation where Joey helped them both to understand what the other was saying. Chandler followed them while the other girls talked in the kitchen.
☀️
"Alycia, does it bother you when Joey flirts with other women?", Chandler walked up to her as she was pouring apple juice on a glass.
"That is Joey", she points out. "Joey means flirting. Although he's been improving ever since we started dating, I can't deny that. Why?".
"Because Monica just told me she flirts with guys all the time!", he exclaimed.
"And that bothers you? It's not like it's that big of a deal", Alycia shrugged. "I mean, at the end of the day she's still dating you, not the other ones, right? It doens't mean anything".
"Oh, no. For you it doens't mean anything. When a girl flirts with a guy, they're thinking you want to sleep with them", Chandler started.
"That's really sad", Alycia points out.
"Exactly", Chandler nodded. "Rach, when you dated Ross, did it bother you when he flirted with other women?".
"No, it bothered me when he slept with other women", Rachel replied, looking at Ross.
"Thank you for that", Ross gives Chandler a look.
"You know, I never really had anything to worry about . Ross was never very good at the flirting thing", Rachel continued.
"Wh-What?", Ross chuckled. "What are you talking about? It worked with you".
"Oh, you're right", she quickly corrected herself. "We met, you flirted and then bam! Nine years later, you had me".
Alycia, Monica and Chandler laughed at Rachel's joke, but Ross wasn't at all. He glared at his four friends, grabbing the phone. "Okay. I'm gonna order another pizza and when Caitlin gets here, I will show you how good I flirt. In fact, I will...I will get her phone number".
"Well...", Chandler started.
"And not the one on the menu!", Ross cuts him off.
"I can't wait to see what you have to say to her", Alycia smiled, deciding not to stop him.
"Guys, my big scene is coming!", Joey said from the living room. The friends turned their attention to the TV, waiting for Joey to appear. "Oh my god", he said after a few seconds.
"What?", Monica asked.
"Everybody just keep smiling. It'll kill my grandmother if she finds out", Joey quickly replied.
"What is it?", Chandler insisted.
"They cut me out of the show".
"What?", Rachel continued. Everyone kept smiling despite the bad news.
"Maybe your scene's coming up", Phoebe tried.
"Not likely, cause you see that body bag right there?".
"Don't say that you're...", Alycia started.
"Yeah, I'm in it", Joey finished for her.
☀️
"I don't know what to do", Joey walked to the kitchen where the other friends were. "I still haven't told her".
"Joey, this is like the last commercial break", Ross points out, looking at his watch. "You have ten minutes left".
"Oh!", Joey suddenly says, as if he just got an idea.
"You're not running out and leave her here", Monica quickly said.
"I wasn't going to do that!", Joey replied, looking rather offended that his friend thought he could do something like that.
"You're not leaving her with me either, Joe", Alycia added.
"Alright", Joey sighs. "Oh!", he says again, rushing out of the aparment.
"Honestly, this is your fault for giving him that idea", Phoebe said to Monica after he left.
"Joey", his grandmother called after him, but Joey was already gone.
"Joey's gonna be right back", Chandler replied. "Right...back", he tried, gesturing and speaking rather slowly, as if with that the woman could understand him. "Meanwhile, let's talk about you. So...you're old and small".
"I got it", Alycia sighed, stepping closer to them after Chandler didn't know what else to do. She bents down to be at her height. "It's okay", she said, putting both thumbs up and smiling.
The woman was a bit confused but smiled back at her anyway, looking like she was more relaxed. Alycia stood up just so she could sit down next to Joey's grandomother as a way to keep her company until Joey decided to show up again.
The old lady kept smiling at Alycia as she grabbed her hand, saying something in italian that none of the friends could understand. Alycia didn't mind, holding her hand back as they both kept watching the commercials.
"That is adorable", Monica commented.
"Winning the granny's approval", Chandler added. "Nice move".
☀️
"Prepare yourselves for some class A flirting", Ross said after the bell rang, knowing it was the pizza delivery girl.
Alycia and Chandler shared a look, knowing this was the perfect time for a joke. "Okay, hold on", Chandler started.
"Are you ready?", Alycia asked after a few seconds.
"I think. Are you?".
"Yeah, think so", she nodded. "Wait! No...okay, now I am".
"Ha, ha, ha", Ross said sarcastically.
"Honey, you have nothing to prove. If you really like this girl, I don't think flirting is the right thing to...".
"Uh, uh, uh!", Ross cuts Rachel off. "You'll see. Oh- what's her name?".
"Caitlin", everyone said, even Joey's grandmother.
Ross starts giggling to try and act all natural for when the girl sees him. "Hey. Oh...we can't keep eating like this", he says after opening the door.
"I want to die", Alycia muttered, noticing she wasn't the only one cringing at Ross' comment.
"It's $12.50", she simply replied.
"So, uh...", Ross started again. "Do you make the pizzas in one of those uh...wood-burning ovens?".
"No. I think they're actually gas".
"Gas? Wow. Intense".
"If this is the way all the Gellers flirt, we don't have a problem", Chandler said to Monica, refering to their previous argument.
"Hey, you know that smell gas has?", Ross asks.
"I'm like five seconds away from jumping off the window", Alycia said again.
"You and literally all of us", Rachel agreed.
"They put that in", Ross continued, trying to act all smart and stuff.
"What?", Caitlin asks.
"The gas is odorless, but they add the smell so you know when there's a leak".
"Well, okay", she chuckles a little bit, looking really uncomfortable as this point.
"A lot of gas smells. Methane smells...".
"You know, I actually...I really...I really should go", she stutters. Alycia couldn't see her, but she sounded awfully disturbed by Ross' behaviour.
"But I haven't paid you yet".
"You know what? That's okay. You guys have ordered so many that this one's on me".
She quickly ran to the stairs as Ross closed the door. He stood there for a few seconds, thinking about what just happened.
"Was I talking to her about gas?".
"I found it interesting", Phoebe tried to cheer him up a little.
"And now we know who to call if we want free pizzas, right?", Alycia tried to joke, but her friends gave her a warning look. "Sorry, that was very Chandler of me".
"I'm sorry", Rachel said, this time to Ross.
"Don't worry about me. In nine years, her and I are gonna be right there!", he joked, starting to walk to the living room.
☀️
"What the hell is your problem?", Alycia asked when she noticed Joey entering the apartment.
"Is the show still on?", he asked, holding something behing his back.
"About to finish".
Joey walked up to the TV, saying hello to his grandmother. "Hey, is that the Pope?", he asks while pointing outside the window to put a DVD on the DVD player without his grandmother noticing.
"Why am I looking?", Chandler said, quickly looking away from the window.
"Look, Nonni! Here's my big scene", Joey said as he sat down next to her.
The friends had to act as if nothing was happening when they realized what Joey has been doing all this time. He filmed himself doing a random acting in his apartment so his grandmother could believe he was in the show.
"Oh, Joey!", she says in excitment.
"You couldn't have at least changed your shirt", Chandler points out.
"She's supposed to buy this?", Ross asked after the scene was over.
"Joey! Bravo, bellissimo!", she exclamied while hugging him.
"Apparently she just did", Alycia replied, looking as amazed as the rest of the friends were.