So I decided to update early again because I felt super bad about taking so long last time. I'm really sorry you guys, but I've been super stressed about starting a job, seriously I just tend to overthink a lot of things. Funny how my chapter is kind of named that.... -_-. Wut.
Anyway, I'm trying to up my mood even though I've been down lately and panicking like a loser. Just need to focus on good things... like how I'm seeing Death Cab For Cutie next week! :D
Anyway, sorry about that, it was totally irrelavent. Here's the chapter!, feedback is really appreciated! :)
Thanks again guys for your support, means so much <3
*****
Chapter 25
All I Do Is Think and Think and Think and Think and Think and Think
I was looking forward to the weekend all week, but that wasn't any better. All I really did was sit at home, eat ice cream, and watch TV while I wondered why my life sucked so much. Seriously. I think my dad was a little bit annoyed with me because I had suggested he go to a shrink, Stan definitely was hurt and hated me even though I tried so hard to not make that happen, and Sam… I don't even know. He had acted weird at lunch after we all talked about the Stan thing. Over the weekend I was simply thankful that I could lounge in bed all day.
Dad checked on me a lot, he seemed a little worried that I was spending my whole weekend at home. It was certainly a step backward from the progress I was making before. But I made sure to pretend I was fine, even though when he left I would spend time staring at the wall and wondering why I was such an idiot.
***
"So how did it go?" Ali asked me.
"What?" I asked, confused and snapping out of my silent daze.
"You know… your date with Stan?" she asked me.
I saw Sam stiffen next to me and I took a deep breath.
"I sort of panicked. I told him that I only liked him as a friend. And then I accidently hinted to it being a pity date when he asked me if it was. He just left me sitting in a booth…"
"What!" Cora exclaimed, surprised.
I shrugged.
"That isn't even fair though, he's the one that made you go on the date even though you made it clear you didn't want to go," Tessa said, she sounded logical but my brain refused to believe any of it.
"I bet he just thought that you liked him, you were just shy. He couldn't take the fact that you didn't like him at all, it hurt his ego."
"I don't know," I said.
"Who even cares about him, he's just some guy," Ali said.
"Right…"
"What did you do this weekend?" she asked me.
I shrugged.
"Don't tell me you lay in bed and watched sad movies while eating as much food as you could…"
Before I could answer that what she guessed was affirmative, Ethan came hurrying over. This morning everyone handed over their dolls and Ethan grinned with his copied key. Now he had an evil, smug look on his face.
"Now it's starting," he said with a grin.
"What did you do?" I asked him nervously.
He jingled the spare key he had made and grinned at me. "I first moved her car down three spaces from where she had parked it. Then I put one of the dolls in the persons car across from hers so it's staring at her when she gets in. And another doll I put on her next hour class's desk.
Tessa clapped in excitement. "Yes!" she squealed.
"Who's car did you put the doll in?" Sam asked him.
"Not really sure," Ethan laughed.
I glanced over at Julie who was completely oblivious as to what was awaiting her later, she was laughing at something another table mate had said. Her new boy toy was sitting at her side, his arm wrapped around her. This usually meant that someone from the table had gotten pushed out momentarily, which was usually Ivy. Sure enough, I saw her a few tables down at the second best table, chatting with other people until she could take her old place back.
I turned back to the table.
"So now what?" I asked nervously.
"We wait until tomorrow."
"Wait…" I sighed.
I'm bad at waiting because all I ever seem to do is think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think.
***
"You can all pass your art work forward," Ms. Berry said.
I looked down at my finished painting of me, my dad, and my mom, and passed it forward. I took a peek at Sam's finished painting of his mom and was shocked by how good it was, and so was Cora's. Ali's, however…
"Today's a free doodle day," Ms. Berry said.
Which basically meant doing nothing.
Which was good.
One table hooted and Ms. Berry rolled her eyes.
"Only because we are getting the clay tonight, which we need for our next assignment."
"Clay?" Cora asked.
"I'll explain further tomorrow, of course," Ms. Berry said.
Now she was passing out large sheets of paper and an array of colored Sharpies.
I picked up a random sharpie, which turned out to be a bright pink/red, from the middle of the table and started to doodle random images across the paper.
"So I'm going back to Minnesota for the weekend to visit my mom again," Sam said.
Just a reminder that he was leaving in the long run. Why didn't I want him to leave so badly?
Its not like we're even that close.
But I knew why. It's because he's the one person that probably knows the most about me. The deepest parts about me. In one hand I wanted him to leave because I didn't want anyone knowing those things about me. But on the other hand it was so nice, so nice to be able to share all those things about myself with someone else.
"Really?" I said, clearing my throat to sound normal. "When are you leaving for it?"
"Friday," he answered.
"When did you find out?" Cora asked.
"Just yesterday morning."
I wasn't going to ask why he hadn't mentioned it… I was afraid of the answer. We had been pretty distant since the whole kiss thing. He was avoiding me too, though, I could tell. Yesterday he completely stopped going out of his way to talk to me again and I wasn't sure why. I didn't know if it was the Stan thing or what. He probably just realized that I'm not really special and decided to move past that.
I was avoiding him too, though. I can't handle a relationship. I can't even handle myself. It freaks me out to even think about our kiss we'd exchanged.
Just thinking about it now made me make a small mistake in my doodling. I formed my mistake into a flower and continued what I was doing with all the other colors.
"I wonder how Julie is going to react to everything," I pondered. "I wish I could see her face when she saw the doll."
"We could watch her," Sam suggested.
"I don't want to get caught, though," I said, dismissing his idea.
"No, I mean upstairs is a window that shows a good view of the parking lot. We could all watch from up there," he said.
"Are you sure? Do you know where she parked?" I asked him.
"Yeah, I saw them this morning," he said.
"Okay."
"But we'll have to race up there, we might not make it," he said.
"How does he know about this window, but I don't?" I asked Cora.
"I have Geometry in there," Sam answered.
We all put away our stuff and when the bell rang, I looked over at Cora and Ali and they shook their heads.
"You guys go, we don't have time. We both have to get going to babysit," Ali said.
Sam grabbed my arm and soon we were running, sliding between people trying to get to their lockers in the halls. Sam pulled me around a corner and to a staircase but we ended up running into someone. I stumbled back, ready to apologize, but then I realized it was Christy. She was heading to Julie's car now, too.
"S- uh…" I stopped.
She pushed past me, "Bitch."
Oh my. I watched her continue to walk down the hall, looking down at her cell and not paying attention to where she was walking. A few people had to avoid slamming into her. Sam grabbed my arm again.
"We need to hurry!" he said, snapping me out of it.
We were running up the stairs again and he stumbled in front of me. I laughed and pushed past him, running down the hall.
"Quinn!" he shouted.
I turned when I was a good ways away down the hall.
"It's this room," he said, pointing next to one that was right next to the staircase.
"Oh," I flushed, embarrassed.
He made a 'hurry' motion and I raced down the hall again and slid into the room, heading over to the window and peaking out. He was next to me in an instant.
"Where are they?" I asked.
"Oh, look! There's Julie," he said.
I followed his finger to where he was pointing and saw her heading down to her car. She was wearing sunglasses and sported one of her fancy cappuccino drinks in her hand. She stopped four car spaces away from her car and scratched her head, confused. She was staring at another car. I figured that was where she had parked it before Ethan had moved it. She spotted her car a little farther down, then, and continued to walk. Before she opened her door, though, she spotted the doll in the car parked across from her. The cappuccino she had been holding slipped from her hands as she jumped back, holding her hand to her heart. I wondered what doll Ethan had chosen to use, whatever it was, it must have been pretty creepy. After a minute of laughing on the floor with Sam, I finally managed to take another look outside. She was inside her car now, and Christy came walking over to join her. I could see her pointing to the doll and talking fast to Christy inside her car and started to laugh again.
"Oh, gosh," I said, gasping for air.
"Can we please continue this?" Sam muttered.
"It's too good," I said, now I was laying on the dirty tiled floor.
I then realized I was alone with Sam and stiffened.
"I better get going," I said.
"Me too," he said.
We both stood up quickly and walked toward the door. I watched him shut it behind him and sighed, fixing my hair.
He turned to me and said something that made me freeze.
"Do you want to go to my mom's with me this weekend?"
I started to think. So many doubts were flying through my mind. So many reasons why I should say no.
But my mouth backstabbed me.
"Yes," I said.
He blinked, surprised himself.
Why did I say that?
"Really?"
"Um…" I nodded, unable to do or say anything else.
His face split into a grin. "Cool. I- I can pick you up tonight from your house, and I can drive us down and stuff."
"Okay," I said, I felt like I was in some twisted dream.
Because this couldn't be happening. I couldn't be travelling to another state with a boy that I like.
No.
That's just impossible.
***
I realized it wasn't impossible three hours later, when I was sitting with my dad in the kitchen, my bags packed and ready on the counter.
"I can't believe I'm letting you go. Can I take back my yes, or is it too late?" my dad asked me nervously.
"It's too late," I said.
"But you're not leaving until Friday."
"I can't just cancel, that's rude."
"Honey, don't you dare let him touch you," my dad said.
I blushed brightly, "Dad! We're just friends."
"And you're sleeping in separate rooms?"
"Yes, dad," I answered, embarrassed.
Well, I figured we were.
This was such a bad idea, I thought as I headed back to my room, curling up into a ball in my bed.
*****
So what do you think!? She's spending the weekend with Sam in another state! :D