My tongue was back to normal a week later, other than the stud now in it. Mara had apologized to Erika for her uncouth question, and it had been smoothed over.
Mara and I went mystery shopping that afternoon and ended up back at my house around seven. Everyone was there, including Gage.
There was an empty bottle of wine on the table as well as a half-full one. Wine gave Erika a bad hangover so we usually avoided it but that didn't seem to be deterring her tonight because she was already loopy.
She was at the piano with Cam when we walked in and they turned and her face lit up. "Dorienne!" She nudged Cam. "Look! Dory's home."
Cam and I exchanged an amused glance. Evie and Freddy were on one couch, and Gage was on the other. Moey was at my computer. I pulled Mara to the bean bag and we crashed there.
"We're singing and you're missing it," Freak admonished me mockingly, turning back to the piano. "Also, wine. Okay, c'mon, Mister Crazy Eyes. What should we sing? I know. Get your guitar, and move because I want Dory."
Cam obligingly got his guitar from the corner and sat on the couch with Gage, Bowser trotting along at his feet and flopping down with a sigh.
With a murmured apology to my date I took his place on the piano bench and put fingers to ivory.
We looked at her.
"Celine," she said haughtily.
"I dunno, real Twenty One Pilots fans don't like Celine Dion," Mara teased us, which they had said once in an interview, but was possibly false as they joked a lot.
"They do if Erika's singing it," I corrected.
She began playing and singing at the same time and I had to catch up. "For all the times that you stood by me, for all the truth that you made me see, for all the joy you brought to my life," and here she leaned into me, more than a nudge, for a few moments. "For all the wrongs that you made right."
Her voice gave me shivers. I wanted to slap the look off Gage's face.
She sang without reserve, thanks to the alcohol, and it was magic. No one dared break the mood. "You gave me wings and made me fly, you touched my hand, I could touch the sky," and she reached up like someone moved in church. "I lost my faith, you gave it back to me; you said no star was out of reach."
I tried not to look at her too much, not to gaze stupid adoringly at her, but I don't know how much I succeeded. Not much, by the look of warning Cam gave me by the end of the song. I swear it felt like she was singing it to me. I was fully aware it was wishful thinking.
"I'm everything I am . . . because you loved me." Her eyes were closed but she smiled, blissed out.
"That was incredible," Gage said when we were done and everyone was clapping.
"It was really something," Mara said evenly.
I met her eyes and she shook her head a little and gave me a wistful smile. Probably wishing she could sing like that. We all did.
Erika was beaming, and she spun around to gesture for her wine glass. "You need any more, sis?" Moey asked, partially meaning it.
"Shut it, twinsie," she said, waving him off. Cam handed her the glass, which was half full. She drank the rest in one fell swoop. "If I could feel like this all the time."
"Whoa there." I took the glass and put it out of reach on the piano because she was obviously good and faded already. I could smell it. Yuck. Wine was nasty. "Gross."
"And now," she said over me. "Without further ado, I dedicate this next beloved song of the group to my girl Dorienne, because she loves it and me singing makes her really happy."
Yup, totally faded.
I blushed and absolutely did not look at Mara and wondered what Freak could possibly be thinking of and then she began, and I honestly forgot Mara existed.
It was Iris, by the Goo Goo Dolls, my well-known favorite love song of all time, and every word was about her. She began singing, playing, and Cam strummed his guitar, and I joined in because when it came to this song I could play it in my sleep.
"And I'd give up forever to touch you, 'cause I know that you feel me somehow." She was leaning against me, and we were swaying a little with the music, my heart song. "You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be, and I don't want to go home right now."
Her cheek was on my shoulder and I messed up my notes looking at her, which was a cardinal sin in my house. But no one said anything, no one broke the spell that was surely my imagination, because this was the universe throwing in my face what could be, what should be, but never, never would.
The lyrics began again. "And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am." She lifted her head, tilting it sideways to meet my eyes with some pretty strong emotions in hers, and the unfairness of it nearly broke me.
"Stop," Mara interrupted, shattering the trance, and we all turned to look at her as we did as she said, the music trailing off. She shook her head and directed her words at Erika, her face unreadable. "Look. I can't, I can't watch it anymore. You're being cruel. Even the fucking dog knows. Just tell her already!" She looked at me and smiled at the perplexed look she saw, but it was pained. "It's you, poker face. All along. I'm guessing for years. You got your fondest desire."
I was so clueless, but Freak didn't bother pretending. She turned back to me and put her hands on my cheeks as she proceeded to quote me one of our favorite Twenty One Pilots lines. "My taste in music is your face, bb," she said, and kissed me.
If we thought people went nuts when Freddy got his memory back, we were mistaken. I barely heard the racuous celebrating because I was trying to convince myself not to wake up from this best dream ever. But my tongue ring meeting the bitter taste of wine in her mouth was the kindest reality check I've ever received and tears of joy ran over her fingers.
When we finally broke apart I was not the only one with a wet face in the room. I remembered Mara with a sudden guilty pang.
But she was smiling. "I knew all along," she said. "I probably should have told you sooner, but I was selfish." She smirked at Erika. "And Short Straw wasn't ready."
"But--what about--?" I gestured to Gage, who also seemed somewhat amused, if disappointed.
Freak still had her hands on my cheeks, and she used her thumbs to wipe under my eyes. "You don't own bisexuality, Dorienne." She laughed, as happy as I was. Could this be real. "I sleep in your fucking bed with you almost every night. Do I do that with other people? No. Because, you. Always, you. Fucking always."
I was blown away. I just stared at her, this beautiful friend who was everything I'd ever wanted. Needed. "Really?" I still somehow felt it would be taken away.
She kissed me again, softly, pressing her lips to mine briefly. "Really. I just didn't know if you felt the same, I didn't want to ruin anything."
"Oh my God." My heart, what was this feeling? Was there an emotion past joy?
"Fooled me," Cameron said, one of the ones also crying. He came and put his arms around us. "Poor Dory, been suffering for nothing all this time."
"Fooled me," Freddy admitted, cuddling Evie. Both of their faces were wet.
"Aaand me," Evie admitted in turn. She had on a pale blue wig, blue and white glittery makeup, and a dress that was designed to look like it was made from tree bark. She took our picture, and Cam got out of the way so she could take one of the two of us. As a pair. As a couple. Oh my God could I really have this?
"I knew," Gage admitted. "If you could see the way you look at each other." He whistled, and shook his head good naturedly. "Thanks for hanging out with me while it lasted." He quirked his mouth.
"I knew," Mohammad said, a little guiltily, as he well should.
"What!" I gawked at him.
He put his hands up. "Only the last like, two weeks, and I wasn't positive. Please don't kill me."
"I can't even," I said, dazed, ecstatic, incredulous.
"You never can," she said, lovingly, that kind of lovingly.
Mara stood up and stretched. "Guess my work here is done," she said nonchalantly, but she was sad. Gage got up immediately and joined her, putting his arm around her shoulders.
"I'm sorry," I said, and a small part of me was, but I mostly had no room for it at the moment.
"It's okay, Dory," she said, and she meant it. "You just enjoy it, okay? You deserve it. You both do. We'll talk later. I'm happy for you, seriously."
"What she said." Gage still had on his crooked smile but it wasn't maybe so real.
The thing was we only had eyes for each other, so we told them bye and then our friends were hugging us and we were a big squishy group of crazy emotional friends. "You guys'll have beautiful kids," Cameron told us happily.
They eventually let go and it was just us again and she said, "Dorienne, I have loved you for as long as I can remember."
"Me, too," I whispered, and would you look at that; dreams can come true.
THE END
(February 16, 2017--April 27, 2017)