1 month later
Bianca-
"You want anything to eat?" Rock asked as I sat on my bed finally back home after all of this.
I shook my head.
"You sure? I don't know if it's good to be taking your medicine on an empty stomach." He said reading the pill bottles.
"I'm fine I'm not hungry." I told him.
"Okay do you want to ride with me?" He asked grabbing his keys.
I shook my head once again.
"You sure? You don't need some fresh air?" He asked.
"I'm fine here." I said.
"Okay baby I love you." He said coming over to kiss me.
"I love you too." I mumbled.
He sighed walking out the room I heard the front door slam as he left.
I can tell Rock is trying to have as much patience with me as he can.
How has this month been?
Shit I don't know where to start... I can't sleep I barely eat, I'm still experiencing a horrible amount of pain which is why I'm still on pain meds. I only get a little bit of sleep when I take them but I also have nightmares so it doesn't really help unless I take more than I'm supposed to.
Dave has been M.I.A again after what happened between him and Ash at the hospital I saw him once later that day like he promised but then he never showed back up. Artist says he just distanced himself from everybody including Don. He talks to Eli a lot though and so do I.
I haven't been too social lately I just don't feel like being around people too much anymore but I talk to Ash, Boog, and Eli obviously Rock too, a lot that's pretty much it. I'm just not feeling Don and Ella I haven't been for a while so that's no surprise. They just aren't people I'm very fond of so I rather stay away from them. All the drama I have with them on top of them knowing David was alive just completely turns me off from fucking with them anymore. Even though Don and I don't speak or have much of an relationship Selena checks on me though and I appreciate that. She's never inserted herself into our problems whether or not Don and I are good terms she still looks out for me. She's very quiet and laid back unlike the rest of us but everybody likes her. I like her a lot especially since she has checked on me wayyyy more than Don has.
Elijah has became like another brother to me. Him and Ash have something going on that they don't really speak on but they're a good fit for each other everybody can see it. He's how I keep up with Dave just making sure he's good even though he doesn't talk to any of us.
I've tried to get Ashley to talk to him and apologize but she still feels how she feels so I gave up. I feel bad that she made David feel so horrible about the whole thing the look on his face when he left the hospital room that day was honestly heart breaking. I just wish he'd come around and realize we all love him no matter what.
He has no family but us so I know he was hurt by what Ashley said to him.
I just miss him. He's my best friend you know? I kind of just would like if he was here to help me bounce back but I understand why he's staying away from us.
A knock on my door broke my thoughts so I got up slowly and carefully. My leg is broken so I have to walk around with this fucking boot on.
"Who is it?" I yelled going down the stairs slowly.
"It's me and Eli!" I heard Ashley say.
"I'm coming just give me a minute!" I yelled wincing from the pain shooting threw my leg.
By time I made it to the door I had fell.
"Are you Okay!" Eli asked as I unlocked the door for them.
"I'm fine." I mumbled as they walked in.
"You're fine but you on the floor." Eli said closing the door and helping me up and over to the kitchen.
"Can you go up to my room and get my pain pills I need them." I asked holding my thigh tightly to numb the pain.
"Yeah I got you." Eli said going.
"Leg still bothering you?"Ashley asked.
I nodded.
"When's your appointment to get it checked?" She asked.
"A couple weeks." I said as Eli handed me my bottles and some water.
"Thanks." I said immediately popping every bottle open and getting 3 out of each.
"Damn that's a lot." Ash commented.
I ignored her and swallowed them all.
I'm only supposed to take 1 of each but that doesn't help at all.
"They're not that strong." I told her and she nodded.
"But what made you guys stop by?" I asked them.
"Rock asked us to." Elijah said and Ashley smacked in the back of the head.
"What? I told you I wasn't going to come here and lie damn A." He said rubbing the back of his head.
"Rock worried about you not eating so he sent us." He said.
I rolled my eyes. "I told him I'm fine. I just have no appetite right now. I can't force myself to be hungry." I told them.
"He's so annoying." I said.
"He's just worried about you. You're his girl he's supposed to be." Ashley said.
"He don't have to send people here. What were y'all going to do shove food down my throat?" I asked.
"No we just wanted to check on you." Eli said.
"I'm tired of y'all treating me like some fragile child." I said.
"We're not trying to Bianca we have a right to be worried about you considering what you've been through this entire year." Ashley said.
"I'm not a fucking baby! I'm a big girl I can handle it. Y'all don't have to walk around on eggshells with me I'm fine!" I yelled angrily.
"Okay okay." Ashley said holding her hands up in defense.
"We get it. We just want you to know we're here for you." She stated.
"You're here for me? How about you do me a favor get the person I want here back and then I'll be good." I said to her and she rolled her eyes.
"Bianca we've been over this." She told me.
"Yeah we have and I've told you that you shouldn't of did that." I told her.
"I'm not apologizing for how I feel." She shrugged.
"I can't even believe you feel that way. Why would you blame David for what happened? He left to keep us out of harms way. He thought the less we knew the safer we would be. He would've never did that if he knew what would happen." I told her.
"Is that what he told you?" She asked.
"Yeah it is and you know it's true. Why are you acting like this." I said.
"B you're blinded by your love for him. He fucked us all over! He's been fucking you over for what 2 years now? You're my fucking sister blood couldn't make us any closer I love Dave to death him and Boogie are the only brothers I really have but he has hurt you way too many times. Everything you went through this year was his fault this time you almost lost your fucking life. Do you know how hard it was for me to hear you begging for somebody to kill you! I watched multiple niggas fucking rape you B. I can barely sleep at night because the images come right back the nightmares are worse than living through it. You almost died. We were hopeless I wanted to help you but I couldn't even help myself. Do you even remember how many times you begged to be dead and back with David? We both lost ourselves losing David how we thought we did we didn't want to live anymore. He didn't think about us when he made the decision to fake his death. If he did he would've realized how much it would kill all of us to lose him. I don't care how he's feeling right now. Nothing can compare to what he put you through. If you want to continue to forgive him then that's fine but I'm sticking to what I said and that's it." She said wiping her face and getting up going to the bathroom.
I wiped my tears and sighed deeply.
"I just don't know what to do." I mumbled wiping the tears that kept falling.
"It's okay sis this just really hard for everybody." Eli said coming over to hug me.
"I get where she's coming from but I don't think anybody else gets Dave the way I do she don't understand what him and I have she only sees what we've been through and I know she has my back but Dave and I are just made to be in each others lives you know?" I said.
"Yeah I feel you. I can try to talk to him for you. Let him know you been asking to see him. Hopefully he will come around." Eli said.
"Can you call him I just want to hear his voice." I asked.
He nodded and put his phone on speaker calling Dave.
As it rang my heart beat faster and faster.
"Hello." His raspy deep voice answered.
"Hey cous Bianca wanted me to call you so she could hear your voice." Eli said making me smack him in the back of the head.
"Damn why y'all always slapping me." He said.
"Hey baby girl." Dave said laughing making me smile.
"Hey I miss you." I said pouting.
"Stick your lip back in. I miss you too." He said.
"How'd you know I was even pouting?" I asked.
"Cause I know you. Where you at?" He asked as I heard him get in the car.
"Home." I told him.
"I'm on my way." He said.
"Okay love you." I said.
"Love you too." He said and we hung up.
I couldn't help the smile that was on my face.
"Finally." Eli said.
"What?" I asked confused.
"You got a smile on your face." He said shrugging.
I shrugged. "I guess he just got that effect on me." I said as Ashley came out the bathroom.
"I'm sorry." I told her.
She shook her head. "No I'm sorry you're right. I directed my anger at him and I shouldn't of but I do feel the way I feel but I'm more sad about it than anger but that's just the way it came out." She said.
There was a knock at my door and Eli went to go answer but I hopped up faster to get it.
Of course it was Dave and I kind of used my good leg to jump on him but thankfully he caught me.
"Damn I missed you too." He said smiling as I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck burning my face in it too.
"I missed you so much." I mumbled into his neck.
I didn't notice I was crying until he lifted my face from his neck and wiped my tears looking sad.
He walked all the way into my house finally and closed the door behind us.
He still held me though not letting me go while he dapped Eli.
He didn't say anything to Ashley though which I expected. If Dave doesn't know how you're feeling towards him he won't speak.
"We about to go talk." He told Eli.
"I'm making breakfast." Eli said and we nodded as Dave walked us upstairs to my room.
When we got there he flopped us down on the bed laying on top of me.
I smiled down at him since he had his head laying on my stomach I was wiping a eyelash from him face.
"I haven't smiled lately." I mumbled.
"So why you smiling now?" He said looking up at me.
I shrugged. "I'm happy you're here." I told him playing with his hair that he has grown out.
"I'm happy I'm here too." He said hugging me around my waist and laying his head on my chest.
I smiled up at the ceiling as tears came out the side of my eyes.
"What's wrong?" He said wiping them.
"Nothing I'm still not over the fact that you're actually here right now." I said to him as he drew circles on my stomach and rubbed the scar from my surgery.
"I'm not leaving you ever again. I promise." He said looking me so intensely in the eyes that I swear he was looking through to my soul.
"I love you." I whispered.
"I love you too." He said as he stared right at me.
He crawled up and hovered right over my face causing my breathing to speed up.
"Dave what are you doing?" I asked as he leaned in and caught my lips.
I kissed him back and it deepened but as soon as it got too deep I had a flash back of those niggas on top of me forcing themselves on me and I pushed him away.
"I'm sorry." He said.
I shook my head. "It's not you I just- I don't know."
I didn't want to tell him why I stopped so I left it alone.
I haven't kissed anybody since I kissed Rock when Dave was in the hospital.
"You having nightmares, flashbacks and shit?" He asked and I slowly nodded.
He just wrapped his arms around me and I laid on his chest.
"I'm sorry I shouldn't of done that." He said apologizing again.
"No you're fine I'm with Rock I shouldn't of kissed you back." I told him which was the truth I guess Dave got a hold on me that's always going to be there probably but I'm happy with Rock and he doesn't deserve me cheating on him.
"How am I supposed to tell him?" I said sitting up.
"Just don't leave it alone." D said.
"See that's the shit you do hoping it don't blow up in your face. I can't not tell him he already think I'm going to leave him at any second for you I have to." I told him.
"Exactly he already think that so this going to make it worse.
"I have to tell him. I just want to be honest in this relationship no secrets no lies. None of that." I said and he nodded.
"I feel you B." He said.
"How long til that boot come off?" He asked.
"They said a couple weeks but the pain be out of control." I told him.
"You went from the cast to the boot right?" He asked.
I nodded. "Yeah it's supposedly basically healed but it still hurts so bad I don't know why." I told him.
"They didn't give you any pain medicine?"
"They did I take it for my leg, my head, and my stomach." I told him.
"You been getting any sleep?"
"Not really I've probably slept for like 4 hours a week since I got home. If that." I told him at this point I'm a zombie.
"They food ready!" I heard Ashley yell from down stairs.
"You going to eat and take a nap." He told me.
"I'm not hungry." I told him honestly I don't even think about food anymore I'm not hungry.
"You have to eat you can't not eat taking medicine and just in general you're eating I don't care." He said.
I sighed as he got up probably going downstairs.
"Don't make me sling your little ass over my shoulder come on." He said.
I threw a mini tantrum and decided to get up because I already know how David gets when it comes to stuff like this.
"Can you still carry me though?" I asked him.
He gave in and helped me get on his back carefully.
"I love you B." He said as I pushed my face into his neck blushing.
"I love you too." I told him kissing the back of his head softly.
"Thank you." I told him.
"For what?" He asked.
"Still managing to be my best friend after all of this and saving me." I said and he stopped right before we made it to the stairs.
"Why'd you stop?" I asked him.
He put me down carefully and turned to face me. I gave him a strange look.
"What's wrong?" I asked him because he actually looked sad and I didn't know why.
"You think this going to last?" He asked me.
"Do I think what's going to last?" I asked squinting my eyes at him.
"Us being in each other's lives." He stated.
I sighed. "Dave you're literally like half of me you have half of me already we gave another life half of each of us. We have a child together whether he is here or not. I can't see life without you at this point. I don't know what I would do if I was dreaming and woke up and you were gone again... all I see when I try to sleep is flashbacks of what happened to me I'll never forget that or how I called for you and nobody else to help me. I was begging for them to kill me because you're the only person I wanted to be with in those horrible moments I don't want to experience life without you again." I said being completely honest.
He looked at me but didn't speak he just watched me like he has never seen me before.
"Man this is so fucking hard..." he chuckled bitterly shaking his head.
"Don't tell me your leaving again..." I mumbled.
"You remember what I used to always tell you every time we got caught in the moment back when we were just friends and didn't want to cross the line?" He said staring into my eyes.
"That you're no good for me and never date a nigga like you cause then you'd have to catch another body if he fuck up with me." I said smiling remembering him say it all the time.
"I told you that so many times B why you ain't listen?" He asked me which made me laugh.
"I think the people we shouldn't fall for are always the ones we do." I shrugged.
"Damn we must really love the fuck out of each other." He said.
"Why you say that?" I asked.
"We can't stay away from each other. We literally can't function without each other... like it's bad yo. What are we going to do when we can't be up under each other?"
"We just won't let anything come between us. Problem solved." I told him.
"It's not that easy." He said.
"Why not?" I asked.
"Because I'm fucking in love with your ass and I can't get over you. And if you want me to be honest I don't give a fuck about Rock but I know you do and you want it to work with him and I respect that but with that comes me not being around anymore." He told me.
"You're going to stop coming around because I'm with somebody else? Do you hear how you sound that's fucking stupid. If you had another girl I wouldn't do that shit I'd live with it and leave y'all be while still being around." I told him.
He managed to piss me off that quick.
"No Bianca you're not understanding what I'm saying." He said.
"Then help me please explain." I said throwing my hands up and almost losing my balance but he caught my arm.
He pulled me closer to him and spoke slowly. "It's not like that. I want you so bad that would take you right in front of that nigga and not give a fuck. I'm on that type time right now. I respect y'all relationship BUT I don't give a fuck about Rakim I would literally call him just to say you mine now. I can't be next to you without wanting to taste your lips over and over again or just want you in my arms the way shit used to be before everything got so fucked up." He said with his face as close as it could be to mine.
"I fucking love you so much that I want to take you away from that nigga. I know I can too but that's not what would make you happy so I just can't." He said with his arms wrapped so tight around my waist there were no gaps between our bodies.
His lips were so close to mine that I wanted to kiss him.
"Oh my god. Why do you do this shit to me?" I said stepping back from him.
"Fuck David what'd you just do." I said with my head in my hands.
"You see that feeling you got right now that's how I feel every time I get around you." He shrugged making me understand his point.
He walked closer to me until he backed me into my room.
"Dave I-..." I said cutting myself off because I had nothing to say.
"I can barely keep my hands to myself when we by each other."he mumbled grabbing the sides of my face leaning his forehead against mine like he always does.
He looked through to my soul making me weak.
"Dave-." I was cut off by David kissing me AGAIN.
I don't know what thoughts were going through my head but I kissed him back and wrapped my arms around his neck.
I started having the flash backs but I think David realized because he slowed down and said "Look at me."
I did slowly.
"I'm not going to hurt you ain't nobody going to hurt you no more you heard?" He said touching my lips with his lips with every word he said.
I nodded slowly and leaned in again kissing him.
He picked me up by my waist and I wrapped my leg and this annoying ass boot around him.
He laid me down and hovered over my body between my legs.
He kissed down my neck and a flash back went through my head so fast.
"D I- Shit." I said no able to get my words together as kissed behind my ear knowing just how to get me.
"The food is readyyyyyyy!!!" Eli yelled making my eyes snap open meeting Dave's.
"Let's go eat." I smiled pushing him out the way and getting up leaving out the room.
Once I made it downstairs Eli and Ashley both had their eyes on me.
"What?" I asked sitting at the table with them.
"That's a nice hickey you got sissy." Ashley said.
I got back up quickly and went to the hall closet to get a hoodie.
I threw it on as Dave made it down stairs.
"We not going to say nothing." Ashley said with her hands up in surrender.
"I told you a long time ago you should've gotten back with D." She called herself whispering but Dave and Eli heard her.
"Okay and I told you a long time ago you don't know how to fucking whisper bitch." I told her.
"I'm just saying everybody know you and Dave drawn to each other no matter what. But imma stay quiet." She said zipping her lips and throwing away the key.
I put my head in my hands just as Rock was calling me.
I hit ignore sighing. I felt some pain in my leg again making me roll my eyes.
I winced grabbing it as a pain shot through it.
"What the fuck yo." I said rubbing it.
"Your leg again? Didn't you just take some medicine?" Ashley asked rubbing my back.
"All that jumping on Dave ain't help did it." Eli said and I ignored him.
Dave sat a plate infront of me as he sat down with his.
"I keep saying I'm deadass not hungry." I said aggravated with the day already.
"You never eat you lost hella weight we just looking out for you that's not good." Dave said picking food up on my fork and holding it up to my mouth.
I shook my head pushing it away.
They all sighed but gave up and we just sat and talked about anything.