My bike was in the shop and I was super happy. I couldn't wait to get it back even though it's only been a day. I miss it. I can't wait to see it again, because I think I'm having withdrawals from it.
Tommy offered to bring me to school until my bike was fixed.
My bike is my only escape. I have complete freedom with it, and even though what Johnny said was partly true, I would never agree with him. He doesn't understand that I need my bike or I might go insane staying here with him.
He's the main reason for my stress.
He is constantly putting me under stress, and even though I couldn't exactly pinpoint the exact reason, I can't help but feel trapped when I'm inside this house for very long. It feels like the walls are caving in and I can't breathe until I leave.
I don't know what it is, but I've been feeling like that for a few years and I still don't know the main reason for it.
I do things to relieve my stress. It may not be the best shit out there, but at least I'm not doing drugs or fucking up my life completely. I know that sleeping with people isn't the best way, I get it, I've came to terms with it plenty of times when I'm laying in bed with the person I've slept with, knowing that I do that countless times to get rid of the shit that's in my life.
It's who I am.
The Underground is also my stress reliever. It helps me control my anger that I have towards my uncle and the world. Watching people knock the shit out of each other keeps my mind from doing crazy shit. I would rather watch people beat the shit out out of each other than me actually doing it to someone.
I can't explain it, nor do I know how to even if I could. Besides my uncle, everything in this world makes me mad. It's to the point where I want to beat the shit out of someone because this world is nothing but a shit hole, and people aren't understanding that they're the main reason for it.
School is another place that makes me crazy. With all the stupid teenagers running around, to the teachers being complete bitches, I can't take it anymore. I've dealt with this shit for four years, almost, and it's to the point where I could blow this place up.
Class was going by too damn slow, and it felt like I was about to scream. It was the last class, and I don't know if anyone else feels this way, but to me it feels like the very last class is always the slowest. I don't know why, but it seems like it goes by so fucking slow, and you're sitting there ready to strangle someone.
I already finished my work, so I'm sitting at my desk with my head down because I have a headache from everyone talking too loud. The boys in this class are so immature, and the girls only gossip. I can't stand it, and I wish I could just get the hell out of here already.
I sigh as my head was against the desk and I listen as everyone was talking. I glance up at the clock on the wall and notice that we had twenty more minutes left. I shut my eyes as I wanted to try to sleep, at least for a minute, but couldn't as the boys were being too loud.
I'm about to shut them up.
I stand up from my desk and walk over to the group of boys that were acting like a bunch of retards. I stand there as I watch them for a minute and one of them notices my presence, so he speaks out. "What's up?"
"Can ya'll please shut the hell up? You're too fucking loud." I say as I stare at him.
He gives me a look like he didn't understand anything that I was saying. "Huh? Sorry, but I don't speak lesbian." All the boys started laughing and two high-fived each other as I stood there watching them.
"What the hell did you just say?" I ask. Hopefully he'll change the words that just came from his mouth.
He stood up in front of me and smirked. "I said, I don't speak lesbian." He looks me up and down. "You're gay and it disgusts me."
I glance over at the teacher as he was sitting at his desk reading a book. I started thinking about how much I could do to this idiot in front of me before the teacher saw. I look back at him as he was staring at me. I decided to start out like this. "So, you don't like gays?" I ask.
"Hell no." He said. "I hate all of you. Fucking disgusting ass-"
He didn't have time to finish that sentence as I knocked him to the ground in a matter of seconds. I quickly got on top of him and started punching his face as hard as I could. He was covering it with his hands, but it did no good as I was swinging as hard as I could.
I heard all the students start yelling and eventually I felt myself being pulled off of him. I quickly push the person away and notice it was the teacher after it was too late and he stumbled over a chair and fell to the ground.
I stare at him as he looks up at me with anger. "Principals office, now!" He yells. "Someone escort her to the office!" Nobody offered to escort me, but I decided to run out of the classroom before anyone did.
I was pissed.
Beyond pissed.
I couldn't think because my mind was blurry and I could feel my blood pressure rising. My knuckles were white as I was holding my hands into fists and all I could think about was my anger.
I couldn't go to the principals office. It'll be the same shit over again and I couldn't take it. I can't take it anymore. I can't take this shit. I had to leave, and I had to do it right now.
I'm done.
I walk out of the doors and the breeze instantly hits me to where I could actually breathe to calm myself down. I was ready to leave this place and not look back. I'm tired of everyone here. I couldn't stay before I did some crazy shit that I would regret.
As soon as I was in the parking lot, I heard a voice. "Dana?" I turn to see Julia at her car, and it made me want to leave even faster. I ignored her as I walk towards the end of the parking lot and I could hear her yelling for me. "Dana, wait!"
Just go, Dana.
I tried to get away from her in time but failed as I felt a hand grab my arm and I was soon face to face with Julia staring at me.
"Leave me alone." I said as I turn back around about to walk away.
She grabs my arm again and stops me. "Where do you think you're going?" She asks.
I quickly turn around to face her. "I said leave me the hell alone!" I yell. "Let me go, ok! I'm leaving and I'm not coming back!" I start walking but she grabs ahold of my arm again.
"Dana, stop." She said as she was now holding onto my arm.
I face her. "Let me go, Julia."
She shakes her head. "No, Dana. Talk to me. Why are you leaving? What's going on?"
"Julia," I start as I try calming myself. "Let me go or I might..." I trail off as I could feel my heart racing.
I didn't want to hurt her.
"Dana.." She says.
I shake my head. "Let me go." I say as I look down at the ground. I can't look at her. "Now, please." I stand there as I couldn't look at her. I was waiting for her to let go of my arm but she never does. We stand there in silence and after a few moments, I look up to see her staring at me.
She has this look that I can't explain because I never had someone look at me before with the same expression that she's wearing on her face. I couldn't describe the way her eyes were staring at me, and the look she was giving me as if she was trying to understand what was going on.
After a few more moments of silence, she spoke. "Ok, Dana. Go," She lets my arm go. "I trust that you know what you're doing, and even though I shouldn't let you leave, I know that you'll do the right thing." She say as she's staring at me.
I watch as she walks back towards the building and I'm left there with so many thoughts running through my head at that moment. I didn't know what to do, but I knew that I could leave now.
All I had to do was leave, but I couldn't and I didn't know what was stopping me.
I sigh as I walk back to the building, knowing that whatever was coming sure as hell better kill me because if I walk back out those doors, I might not come back.
-
I stared up at the ceiling as I heard a few noises off to the side as it sounded like papers being turned. I let out a sigh as I laid there on that hard ass floor with my mind going in circles.
Fuck what I said about everything making me crazy, because sure enough, it made me crazy to the point where nothing makes me crazy anymore. I am crazy and I don't know how I feel about it because it feels like I'm the same on the outside, but on the inside it's a different story.
Why didn't I leave?
Why didn't I just ignore the voices in my head and leave? I could of been halfway out of this town by now, but I'm not. Instead, I'm here in the principals office with Julia, letting every fucking opportunity pass by as I'm laying on this dirty ass floor watching the ceiling.
The moment I walked back inside and went to find Julia, she had already found out about what happened.
I wasn't surprised.
But the way she acted when she found out, was something different. She wasn't mad, but she wasn't happy. She was mutual. She cared, but she acted like she didn't. It didn't suprise her, but I think it might have did a little by the way she watch me explain everything that happened.
She didn't punish me.
Just like she didn't really punish me from I did to Robert.
Although she did say that his parents are wanting to meet with her about this, and see where it will lead to. I've heard it all before but nothing really happens, so I'm not worried about anything.
I look over as she was sitting at her desk, looking cute. I stare at her as she was looking through some papers and I studied her for a moment as I could feel my heart do this thing where it feels like I'm sucking in a big breath and I could feel my stomach doing flips.
"Ugh, stop." I groan.
I can't stand this shit.
I heard the papers stop, followed by Julia's voice. "Stop what?" I look over as she was staring at me.
I look back at the ceiling. "Nothing." I stared at the same spot for a moment. "Can I ask you something?" I look over at her.
She looks at me. "Sure."
I sigh. "Why did you do that?"
"Do what?" She asks.
I shrug. "Whatever you did to make me come into this stupid office. I had the chance to leave, but didn't." I stare at her. "Why did you do that?"
"Dana, whatever you're facing and the trouble you get yourself into will not resolve itself if you walk away from it. I knew that you were wanting to leave, so I used reverse phychology because I knew that if I told you to leave, then you wouldn't." She smiles.
I stare at her for a moment. "Are you serious?"
She chuckles. "Yes."
I couldn't believe that shit.
She tricked me.
I stare at the ceiling until boredom was taking me over. I look over at Julia as she was working. "I'm bored." I say in hopes for her to let me go or whatever.
"What do you want me to do about it?" She asks.
"I don't know." I shrug. "Can I leave?"
She shakes her head. "You're staying here until you learn to behave yourself." She eyes me for a moment.
"Ok." I chuckle. I thought it was funny the way she punishes me.
Fuck this woman.
Not literally.
Although I already did, but whatever.
After a few minutes, I was slowly falling asleep and Julia's voice startled me awake. "Ok, so I have something for you to do."
"Ugh," I groan. "I'd rather take a nap."
It was silent for a moment until she spoke. "Dana, get up. You just said you were bored." I shook my head as I was tired as hell and wanted to sleep. "I'm serious, Dana." She said but I wasn't moving. "If you do not get up, I will make you." She warns.
"Bitch, try me." I said, but soon regret it as I open my eyes to see her staring at me.
She stood up from her desk but I didn't move as I laid there and watched her. She made her way to me and I was watching her every move until she standing next to me, looking down at me. "Dana Mitchells." She said as she was staring at me with her hands on her hips.
"Julia Taylor." I mimicked. I stared at her."What?"
She soon broke and started giggled. "Get the hell up, damn." She walks back to her desk as I watch her from my spot on the floor.
I followed her ordered and got up. I walk over to her desk and watch her for a moment. "So, what do you want me to do?" I ask.
She looks up at me as she stands. "I need you to come with me." She hands me a few papers and motions for me to follow her. I trail behind her as we leave her office and we're now walking out of the builiding.
We stand behind her car and she lays the papers in the trunk, and I can't help but think about her much paper work she actually does. After she shut the trunk, I look at her. "How much shit do they have you do?" I ask.
She stares at me for a moment. "Can you stop cussing for once?" I shook my head as she was staring at me. She sighs. "I'm the principal and it's my job to handle all this." She motions towards her trunk.
"Damn," I look at her as she's eyeing me. I shrug. "I mean, can't they shove these papers up their-"
"Ok," She stops me. "go home, Dana." She grabs her keys from her pocket and walks to her driver door. "I will get ahold of your parents tomorrow for that meeting with the other student's parents."
I stood there staring at her. "What?" I ask as I walk over to her. "Why?"
She stares at me as she's standing there. "You do realize what you did, correct?" I nod as she looks at me. "Ok, well they want to have a parent conference and they want to meet your parents to discuss your punishment, ok?"
"Uh," I couldn't think. I can't tell her that my parents aren't with me, even though my uncle is my legal guardian, he'll never show up and if he does, then he'll be a bitch and fuck everything up.
He'll have me suspended.
He'll tell them all kinds of stupid shit and I won't graduate.
"Dana?" Julia calls out. "What's wrong?"
I stare at her for a moment. "Nothing." I lied. "My uh, parents are out of town for a few weeks right now."
"Ok," She said as she was staring at me. "well, who's your legal guardian?"
I sigh. "My uncle." I mutter.
She nods. "Ok, well have your uncle call the school and we'll arrange a meet, ok?" I nod as she slightly smiles. "Have a good day, Dana." I watch as she gets in her car and I stand there until she's leaving the parking lot.
I had to come up with something, because if my uncle finds out about what I did, I don't think I will be around here any much longer.
-
"You beat the shit out of someone?" Damion asks as we were all watching a fight at the underground.
I sigh. "Yes." I look over at Tommy as he had a look of disappointment. "But, I had a good reason." I clarified.
"Yeah, because you always have a good reason when you punch someone, huh?" Tommy questions. "When will you learn? You're going to get into more trouble than what you're putting yourself up for."
I shrug. Tommy has always been the type to make sure I stay in school, get good grades and limit my fighting. But, if he knew, and I'm pretty sure he knew before how stupid everyone is at that school, then he would understand.
"They want to have a meeting with Johnny." I say. Tommy soon looks at me with an expression and I already know what he's thinking.
"Really?" He says. "Shit, that's not good."
Damion jumps in. "Why?" He was clueless.
I sigh. "Because my uncle doesn't like when he gets calls from the school, and if he finds out that he has to make an appearance, then he won't be happy and we'll fight and I'll have to leave this town."
He gave me a confused look. "Leave? Why?"
I shook my head. "Too much shit, Damion. I can't have my uncle jumping down my throat about the shit I do, and now I really can't have him on my back when he finds out what happened at school. I'll have to leave because we'll just end up fighting and it'll get too bad."
Tommy looks at me and I shrug. I felt his arm around me then he pulls me into him. He kisses my temple. "It's going to be ok. We'll figure it out."
I sigh. "I sure hope so."
We continue to watch the fight but I wasn't really into it. I kept thinking about what was going to happen, and I couldn't shake it from my thoughts.
"Tell her no!" I heard someone yell from the side. When I look over, I saw two guys arguing. "Nobody is allowed in if they don't have access. Tell her no." The guy storms off and the other guys sighs as he walks back through the hall.
I look over at Tommy. "What's going on?"
He shrugs. "I have no idea." He gets up and I watch him walk over to that one guy. They talk for a minute and Tommy walks back over here and sits down. "Apparently some woman is trying to get into the Underground, but they don't recognize her."
I nod as I understood. Nobody is allowed in here unless they know someone or if they've been here before. It's a known rule to keep people out that would bust us in a heart beat. It's better to keep as many people out, than in.
"Dana Mitchells?" I heard my name being called by the same guy that was arguing with that other one. He stands next to me and I stare up at him.
"Yeah?" I question.
He sighs. "The woman who is trying to get in here says she knows you. Would you mind coming to see?" He says.
I stare at him for a moment until I look over at Tommy as he has the same confused expression on his face. I got up and followed him back through the hall and we stop at the door. He opens the opening on the door so I can look out.
When I do, I nearly had a fucking heart attack.
On the other side of the door was Julia.
What the hell was she doing here?
"Well?" The guys questions. "Do you know her?"
I look over at him. "Uh, yeah. Let me go talk to her." He nods and opens the door where I can slide out. I stand face to face with Julia and I couldn't understand why she was here. "Julia, what the hell are you doing here?"
She stares at me for a moment but doesn't say anything. We stand there for a moment then she pulls me away from the door and down the alley. When we stop, she looks at me. "Remember when I brought you here yesterday?" I nod as she sighs and looks around. "Well, I had no clue what this place was or what you would even be doing here. I didn't know if I was making the right decision about leaving you here, but I did and it got me thinking about it all night and day about what I'm really doing."
I stare at her for a moment. "What?" I question. That really didn't make a lot of sense to me.
She looks up then back at me. "What is this place?"
"That's none of your business, Julia." I say as I didn't want to tell her.
She sighs as she looks down. "Dana, I-" She stops as she looks back up. "It is my business, whether you know that or not. It's my business from what you do in school, to where you go afterwards. It's my business!"
"No it's not!" I yell back. "Nothing I do is any of your business! Why the hell are you even here? Following me?"
She stares at me for a moment. "I had to make sure you weren't doing something illegal." She sounded like she cared.
Bullshit.
I chuckle as I couldn't believe this shit. "Leave me alone, Julia." I start walking back but she grabs my arm. I quickly turn around and push her back. She stares at me for a moment and I knew that she didn't expect me to push her back like that. "Stop before I hurt you." I say, but I lied.
I would never hurt her.
She sighs as she stands there. I didn't know what she was doing, or why she was even here. Why she even cared because it makes no sense. She makes no sense and it's confusing the shit out me.
"Leave." I say once before I turn back.
She'll learn one day that she shouldn't be messing with me.