Like clockwork, my little man wakes me with soft fussing. As I pull him from the bassinet for his feeding, I see that it's just after midnight. "One day old, sir," I tell him as he latches on and his little mouth starts to work away, one eye opens sleepily and quickly closes. He stays awake better now during the feedings since I've been tickling his tummy every so often, which in turn has led to longer naps in between.
When he's done and burped, I check his diaper before I return him to the bassinet. I use the toilet myself, and since Prince isn't here, I quickly drift back off to sleep. This whole process gets repeated once more at a little after four in the morning, and I know by the next feeding, Prince will likely be back here with us.
I wake to Prince's soft lips pressing a kiss to my cheek, "Hello, Mama," he says with a grin when I open my eyes.
"Hey," I smile up at him in the flicker of the LED candles, "did you knock their socks off?" I ask sleepily.
"Of, course I did," he sits beside me on the bed. When I move to sit up, he presses his hand on my shoulder, "You don't have to get up unless you need to."
I relax back down, "Have you checked Ramiel yet?"
"I wanted to kiss you first," he wiggles his eyebrows and stands, I notice his limp is more pronounced as he crosses the short distance to the bassinet. "Hey, there," he grins into the bassinet before lifting the baby against his chest and returning to me. "Look who's awake," he says as he sits back down, his smile fades slightly when he sees my concern.
"You're limp is worse," I mention.
He presses his lips together for a second, but the smile reappears when looks back at Ramiel, "What are you doing up, hmmmm? Are you hungry?"
I watch Prince, waiting for him to acknowledge my concern but he does not, so I say, "He shouldn't be hungry just yet," I look at the clock to confirm the time, "It's only been about two hours."
"Ah, so you just wanted some attention," he talks to Ramiel. I reach across to stroke a Ramiel's tiny cheek, the baby flashes his toothless grin.
"Are you going to avoid what I just said?" I prompt Prince for a response.
He continues to lavish attention on the baby. "Sugar, it's fine, I danced a little too hard tonight, that's all, " he answers me, but his face stays animated for the baby, now it's my turn to press my lips together.
I sit up in the bed and slowly stand, stopping to kiss Ramiel's head. I place my hand against the nape of Prince's neck and pull him in for a deeper kiss before I say firmly, "I love you, and I hate knowing you're in pain."
He nods, "I fine, Dana, really," he says it as sincerely as possible, even meeting my eyes.
"Okay," I say, letting it drop, it's rare that he actually uses my name, so I know that this is as far as this conversation is going to go this morning. "Just remember, we need you," I say softly and make my way to the toilet.
When I return, Prince is finishing up securing a fresh diaper on Ramiel. "It wasn't too bad, but I changed him anyway," he says as he carefully lifts him and places him back in the bassinet.
"Come here, Sugar," he extends his arms out to me and I walk into them, he pulls me tight, "I love you so much, you know that, right?"
I melt against him, "Yes," I whisper, "but humor me when I ask about your pain, it's only because I love you."
"I know, Baby, it'll be fine by morning," he pulls away to look me in the eye.
"It is morning," I counter, glancing at the clock to drive my point home, then I return my focus onto his eyes.
He sighs, "You know what I mean." His eyes search mine, "What I wouldn't give to be able to make love to you right now."
Change of subject noted, and I've been with him long enough to know that he gets especially amorous after performing. "Sorry, Charlie, the only thing getting between my legs right now is that overly friendly ice pack."
"Brrr," he laughs, "That's cold, Sugar."
"So's the ice pack, but it's better than the pain," I wink. "Just so you know, I'm holding you to that as soon as we get the green light on my full recovery.".
He laughs, "Okay. So, I may not be able to make love to you right now, but I'm still going to take you to bed," he grins provocatively, leading me back to the bed.
I get into the bed and crawls in behind me, snuggling close once I'm situated. I feel his arm drape over my waist and his hand settles on my still large belly. "My stomach is still big," I grumble as I feel his fingers splayed across the girth.
"Shhhh, stop it," I feel his fingers flex and relax slowly. I hear his breathing deepen, and I know he's close to drifting off. Not a peep is heard from Ramiel in the bassinet, so I allow myself to fall back asleep as well. The last thought on my mind is we'll be able to go home before too much longer.
*******
I wake to Ramiel's fussy noises, and looking at the clock, I can see why, it's been almost three hours since Prince had returned. That's when I notice that Prince's hand has made its way under the top of my nightie in his sleep, and its cupped securely around a breast. I place my hand on his and give a gentle squeeze, he wakes with a start, attempting to remove his hand, but I hold it firmly in place, "I'm sorry, Sugar, did I hurt you?"
I turn to smile at him, my hand squeezing his as I try to let him know the pressure doesn't bother me. "It doesn't hurt," I kiss him, "you can still touch them, you know?"
His hand flexes and he tests the new size in his palm, "This doesn't hurt?" he asks again.
"Nope, it feels good to have you touch me." With those words, he takes the opportunity to slide his thumb across my nipple while he watches my face for a reaction. I allow my eyes to close, but just then Ramiel makes his presence known by releasing one of the more demanding of cries I've heard from him yet. "You'll have to experiment later, your son is hungry." Prince slowly releases his hand from under my nightie as I sit up on the edge of the bed. As soon as I approach the bassinet, Ramiel falls quiet, but his hands stay fisted and his face is scrunched with displeasure.
I see Prince's amused interest when I cup both breasts at the same time, feeling for which one feels fuller, "I remember when you used to do that for me," he grins.
I chuckle as the memories flood back, "Prince, I know you like to rush things along, but there's quite a bit of healing I need to do before we can play." I sit back down and position Ramiel, who's already open mouthed like a little hungry bird. As soon as I bare the heavier breast and move his mouth toward the nipple, he latches awkwardly, I wince with pain. I break the shallow latch and we try again, I breathe a sigh of relief when it's a deep latch, "Wow, he is hungry."
"You said it didn't hurt," Prince still watches with fascination while he nurses.
"It doesn't if it's a good latch, but that was all nipple, that hurts."
Tonya, the regular nurse, enters and smiles at us. Once she sees we aren't in need of any supplies or assistance, she asks if I'm ready for breakfast. "Yes, please," I tell her. Ramiel is not the only one that is starving.
Tonya returns quickly with a plate for me. Prince's fascination turns to amusement as I reach across Ramiel and begin to feed myself. "What?" I ask after I finish chewing a bite.
"You can't wait?" a smile plays on his lips.
"No, it's called multitasking," I take another bite and smile at him.
He shakes his head, "I can't believe they serve this," he hesitates, "food at a hospital, and that you're eating it," his facial expression is of disgust.
"I'm starving," I wish he understood just how hungry I feel, but the man eats like a bird, so I don't try to explain.
By the time I finish my breakfast, Tonya reenters the room, "Looks like you'll be going home today," she says cheerfully.
"Yes!" Prince and I say a little too loudly in unison. Tonya laughs, "Not excited are we?" We share another laugh, but our excitement falters a bit when Tonya implies that it will still be hours before the discharge papers are close to being ready.
Ramiel finishes nursing and I pass him over to Prince so I can use the toilet. On my way back I see a shopping bag set alongside the overnight bag we had brought the night of delivery. I eye it as I walk past, Prince watches me as he bounces Ramiel gently, "I stopped at home and brought you a different dress to wear home."
"Oh, okay," I say, since had one packed, but he may not have realized it. "Do you want to do skin to skin since it looks like we have plenty of time until we can leave?" Prince nods happily, handing Ramiel over long enough to remove his shirt and lay down. I lay him down on his bared chest, "Can you stay awake? I'm going to take a bath."
"Of course, Sugar, take your time," he looks so content as Ramiel snoozes on his chest, his beautiful hands enveloping the tiny body. My heart is filled with so much love that I fight back tears again as I close the suites door and make my way over to the huge tub.