Jacqueline is sitting on one of Tony's spare bedrooms in the tower waiting for Bucky to wake up. They had gotten back to the United States around 1 in the afternoon and it was nearing 5 now and Bucky still hasn't woken up. Before boarding T'Challa had informed her that the nurses had gave him several sedatives to help him sleep. According to the nurses instructions they should wear off soon. In the meantime Jacqueline decided to read a new book she found called The Outsiders.
She was almost done with the book when Bucky stirs awake. He sits up in a panic and looks widely around the room attempting to scramble up.
Standing up Jacqueline rushes over to the bed and grabs his arms. "It's okay Buck. I got you, you're safe now."
"Jay Bird?" Bucky says, his voice like a child's.
"Yeah Buck. I am right here." Jacqueline says locking on to his gaze.
"Where am I?" He asks.
"You in the United States now, in the Avengers tower."
"It wasn't a dream." Bucky mutters, "I'm actually free."
"Yea Buck. You're here, you're safe, and you're free." She smiles and he hugs her.
Jacqueline pulls away and begins to ask Bucky what he remembers from the trail, to which he responds saying all of it, including his sentence. Jacqueline explains a little bit more about Bucky's current situation and how she's going to help him get better. After about an hour of two of talking with Bucky Jacqueline gives him some food to settle his growling stomach.
"Eat your food and then get some rest." Jacqueline says.
"Wait!" Bucky exclaims grabbing her wrist, "Where are you going?"
"I'm just going to my room." Jacqueline says. "It's the door closest to the kitchen on the right, four doors down from yours."
"Oh okay," Bucky whispers.
Jacqueline gives him a sad smile, "Please just try and get some sleep."
Bucky nods and watches her walk away.
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The next morning Jacqueline wakes up to the birds chirping and the sun shining. It was a bit chilly so she grabs a sweatshirt from her closet and throws it on. Jacqueline opens the door and heads to the kitchen only to she trip over something in front of her door.
"What the fu-" Jacqueline stops once she saw what she tripped over.
It was Bucky who is curled up like a dog laying in front of her door. Bucky either sensing her staring, or because she tripped over him, wakes up and stretches.
"Bucky were you out here all night?"
"Yes," He replies in a deep morning voice.
"But why?"
"Because I couldn't sleep and I wanted to know you were safe."
Jacqueline smiles, "Well thank you for looking out for me and we'll talk about this later. Now come on, I'm going to introduce you to a fantastic thing called coffee." She states and pulls Bucky into the kitchen.
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The first month was an adjustment for Bucky. He rarely spoke and when he did it was only to Jacqueline, usually when they were alone or during one of their Therapy sessions. The sessions proved to be slow moving and somewhat helpful. Jacqueline tried to get Bucky to tell her about the memories that he'd remembered but he refused to talk about them, saying they were too dark and would scar her for life. So instead of prying it out of him Jacqueline encouraged him to write them down. Jacqueline tried to help Bucky readjust back into society and talked to him gently. Most times Bucky would just listen to her talk but occasionally he'd say a sentence or two.
Aside from getting Bucky to talk, he had difficulty sleeping. Most times he couldn't sleep at all because of nightmares. Jacqueline tried to help him the best she could and got him to stop sleeping by her door. Instead he slept on the couch, an exact 20 feet away from Jacqueline's room, so he could still keep her safe. When he did manage to get a couple of hours he woke up screaming and thrashing.
"Bucky," Jacqueline calls trying to wake him up, "Wake up it's okay."
After more yelling and shaking Bucky finally woke up by pinning Jacqueline to the floor. Once Bucky realized what he'd down he sat quickly back up and started to pace back and forth muttering under his breath.
"Bucky," Jacqueline says making her way over to him.
"No go away," Bucky cries, "I don't want to hurt you."
"You're not going to hurt me." Jacqueline reasures giving Bucky a hug.
Bucky is slow to return it but eventually puts his right arm around Jacqueline, still fearing that his metal arm would hurt her. Jacqueline sighs and brings his other arm around her back. The rest of the night Jacqueline sits and holds Bucky as he cries as she tries to reassure him that he's good and not responsible for his actions as the winter soldier. Bucky doesn't listen to Jacqueline a mutters the reply that it was still him.
Hydra's hold on Bucky reached past his sleep habits and into his daily life. Jacqueline noticed Bucky had a habit of giving her a knife every time she was in the same room to her. She later found out that Hydra had Bucky arm his handlers who weren't already armed so that if they wanted to they could put him down at anytime. Jacqueline had brought it up in there next therapy session.
"It's a smart Idea." Bucky states. "If I try to hurt you, you have the means to protect yourself."
"Bucky," Jacqueline groans holding both hands, "You're not going to hurt me. I trust you and I'm not going to stop until you trust yourself too."
And although Bucky didn't speak much, didn't mean he just sat around. He trained with everyone else, much to the frustration of Tony, who still was wary of him.
Bucky was in the gym punching the punching bag when he threw a punch too hard sending the bag flying across the room.
"Hey Metallica," Tony shouts walking in, "Take it easy on the bag will you. Between you and Cap you're going through these bags like there water. It's like you think I'm made out of money."
"Aren't you though Tony?" A voice says behind them.
Standing there is Jacqueline with her arms crossed sending a slight glare Tony's way. "Hahaha, very funny Jack." Tony replies sarcastically and begins to walk out, "I mean it about the bags though."
Jacqueline rolls her eyes, "Ignore Tony he's been really tense lately, and I don't think he's slept in a couple of days."
Bucky gives her a small smile, "Thanks."
"For what?"
"For being there for me."
"No problem Bucky. Now care to spar with me?"
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The second month was a lot like the first, except Bucky expanded who he talked too. Although Jacqueline was his rock, Clint really helped bring Bucky back. Client understood what it was like to lose your mind to someone else and all the fear, and guilt, and paranoia it comes with. Clint and Jacqueline both help Bucky readjust by making him make decisions and opinions about little things like 'red or blue'. 'What would you name a dog?' 'Grapes or Strawberries?' These little things help remind Bucky that he's in control.
Bucky also got over his fear talking to Steve and begins talking to him in small short sentences. He bounds with Natasha, having shared a similar past. Natasha also helps him realize all the bad that he's down wasn't his fault and that S.H.I.E.L.D can help him start over.
Despite his progress Bucky was still quite and cautious, especially around Sam and Tony. He had told Jacqueline he found them overbearing and loud.
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Bucky was in the kitchen with Natasha, Steve, Sam and Jacqueline trying to find out what to eat for lunch. He was standing next to Natasha with a bottle of sriracha.
Glaring at Sam Bucky turns to Natasha speaking in Russian, "So, what am I supposed to do with this Sriracha stuff?"
Natasha smirks and replies in Russian as well, "It's spicy, put it on anything, it's really good. Why are you glaring at Sam like that?"
"I'm pretending to talk shit about him. Is it good on eggs?"
"Oh fantastic. I'm going to glare at Steve and pretend ot talk shit. Yeah, it's great on eggs."
Natasha and Bucky were both scowling at Steve and Sam who shift uncomfortably at the island counter.
"What the hell is going on over there?" Sam mutters to Steve.
"I don't know but I don't like it." Steve responds.
Jacqueline shakes her head laughing, knowing perfectly well what the pair had said. Steve and Sam realize this and demand for an answer to which Jaqueline just shrugs and replies in Russian making Steve and Sam even more annoyed. Jacqueline smiles and highfives Bucky and Natasha enjoying in Steve and Sam's confusion. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By the third month things were slowly getting better for Bucky. Bucky's hours of sleep increased to three but he still woke up with nightmares. And after Bucky woke up one night and finding out he had punched Jacqueline with his metal arm causing her to have a black eye and stitches he wouldn't let her come anywhere near him. Eventually his paranoia wore off during the day was still adminat that Jacqueline couldn't help him at night anymore.
"Bucky I don't understand why you won't let me help you!" Jacqueline demands after Bucky pushed her away when he woke up from a nightmare.
"Because I'm bad for you," Bucky yells, "I'm an awful horrible monster that could kill you without a second thought. I'm not worth saving and I don't know why you even try."
"I try because I care. Because I knew the man you were before all of this, and I know you now, and I want to know you into the future. James Buchanan Barnes you are a good man who had shit happen to you. You had no control as the Winter Soldier, therefore your not responsible for what you did. And don't give me the crap about it was still you. I understand that and I am not trying to erase all your guilt but I'm trying to help you cope and move past it." Jacqueline says placing a hand on his cheek.
"I don't deserve this... you. Any of it." Bucky sighs.
"It's not about deserve. It's about what you believe in and I believe in love." Jacqueline smiles.
"Isn't that from a movie?" Bucky asks.
"Yes, Wonder Woman. We should watch it some time." Jacqueline smiles, "You know I get it, the whole feeling guilty thing."
"You do?"
"Yeah. When you and Steve "died" I went off the rails in anger and grief. I killed a lot of people, half of them were innocent but Howard brought me back. Made me realize I had something to live for, and for all those I had killed the guilt kept me up for months but over time I learned how to deal with and store it away. I used as a reminder to never get out that out of control again and to surround myself by people I love and care about."
"Wow, I had no idea."
"Most people don't" Jacqueline sighs, "But see there's good in even the darkest people and darkness in even the best."
"Thanks for telling me that Jackie. That helps... a little."
"I'm glad it helps... sorta."
Despite Bucky's sleep issues he was able to talk with anyone of the Avenger's in the tower, although when it came to Sam or Tony, it was often a snarky remark muttered under his breath. Wanda had gotten used to having Bucky around although she was still cautious about him. Vision always kept to himself so he really only talked to Bucky when he needed too.
During the third month S.H.I.E.L.D was able to track down Zemo to a hidden Hydra base in Siberia. Despite Bucky not being able to leave the country the UN allowed Bucky to go to Siberia to capture and bring Zemo to custody with Jacqueline, Steve, and Tony, as long as he was unarmed. The UN also stated that T'Challa would be on stand by if things got out of hand.
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The helicopter lands by the base and the four walk toward the warehouse.
"He can't have been here more than a few hours." Jacqueline states.
"Long enough to wake them up." Bucky mutters.
Tony, in his suit, and Steve, with his shield walk in first followed by Jacqueline and Bucky. Bucky walks slightly in front of her with is metal arm raised in attempt to shield her.
The four of them walk cautiously along the corridor with T'Challa in his Black Panther Suit hiding behind the corner just in case something bad happens.
Walking toward the open room Tony says, "I got heat signatures."
" How many?" Steve asks.
" Uh, one." Tony says surprise.
"That sounds like a trap," Jacqueline mutters.
They walk in to see the room empty with bodies scared all around the floor unmoving.
"If it's any comfort, they died in their sleep." Zemo says in the speaker "Did you really think I wanted more of you?
"What the hell?"
"I'm grateful to them, though. They brought you here." Zemo states appearing in the control room and Steve hurls his shield at the glass. "Please, Captain. The Soviets built this chamber to withstand the launch blast of UR-100 rockets."
"I'm betting I could beat that." Tony says.
Zemo smirks and begins to state his plan as to why he gathered all them all here. He wanted to see an empire fall but to do it he needed them to fall from within, because of fighting with one another.
The Tv in the middle of the room begins to play and Tony looks at it curiously, "December 16, 1991. I know this road what is this?"
"Me too," Jacqueline mutters and gasps putting a hand over her mouth as it continues to play. It's the day that Howard and Maria Stark were killed except it wasn't by a car crash it was because of Bucky when he was the Winter Soldier.
Tomy lunges at Bucky but Steve stops him. "Did you know?" Tony asks.
To which Steve hangs his head and mutters a yes. Steve releases Tony and tells Buck to run. Jacqueline stands there shell shocked at what happened. She's quickly snapped at her thoughts as she tries to seperate Tony and Steve who are now fighting each other mercilessly. Jacqueline pulls her brother off Tony only for him to choke Bucky.
"Do you remember them at all?" Tony yells.
"I remember them all." Bucky chokes.
"This won't change anything." Steve says as Tony advances toward Bucky.
"I don't care. He killed my mom!" Tony yells launching himself at Bucky.
The two begin to fight and Steve tries to intervene. Eventually Steve gets Tony off Bucky but Tony shoots on of his hand lasers at Bucky causing his metal arm to fly off causing Jacqueline to scream.
She tries to stop the bleeding before going over to Tony and Steve where Steve is relentless punching Tony in the face. Tony's mask comes off and he holds up his hands in surrender but Steve is too blinded with rage.
"Steve you need to stop!" Jacqueline shouts as Steve is about to sink the Shield into Tony's chest. Steve snaps out of it and gets off Tony walking toward a Bucky and helps him up.
"I was your friend." Tony states as Jacqueline rushes over to stop the bleeding from his head.
"So is he," Steve says picking up his shield and walking away.
"Steve," Jacqueline cries her face streaming with tears. "Just stop. Please just stop fighting."
"That doesn't belong to you," Tony states still on the ground. "My father made that shield."
Without a word Steve drops his shield and walks out with Bucky leaving Jacqueline and Tony behind.
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Jacqueline later found out from Shuri that T'Challa had taken Steve and Bucky back to Wakanda and that he turned Zemo into custody of the UN. While Bucky was in Wakanda T'Challa and his team were going to make a better arm for Bucky. The UN had approved of this leaving of the county as it was to help better Bucky. Jacqueline was glad that they were safe but instead of flying out to Wakanda to see them she decided to stay with Tony.
"I'm sorry Tony," Jacqueline says as he paces the room.
"I'm sorry too." He says stopping.
"Why,"
"You lost as much as I did. You lost your brother and friend today while also reliving your friend and his wife's death." He says bitterly.
"Tony," Jacqueline trails off hugging Tony. "It's not your fault. Please don't beat yourself up over it."
"I just don't understand," Tony cries into her shoulder, "How would everything get so messed up. I spent a long time blaming my dad, and now to realize that it wasn't his fault."
"I'm sorry Tony," Jacqueline says hugging him close, "My brother is stubborn and narrow minded at times but I know he means well. He hates to see someone he loves suffer. He just didn't want you to suffer. He just didn't want to hurt you"
Tony pulls away. "I know Steve was trying to spare me but it still hurts. I know I shouldn't have taken out all my anger on Bucky though that was wrong of me. I was just so angry."
"It's okay Tony." Jacqueline says. "I get it and I'm sure Bucky understands. He's probably beating himself over it too."
The doorbell rings and opens to reveal a delivery man, "Is Tony Stark home?"
Jacqueline laughs, "He's right here."
Tony ,embarrassed, takes the letter and thanks the mailman.
He walks over to Jacqueline and opens it.
Tony, I'm glad you're back at the tower. I don't like the idea of you rattling around a mansion by yourself. We all need family. The Avengers are yours, maybe more so than mine. I've been on my own since I was 18. I never really fit in anywhere, even in the army. My faith in people, I guess. Individuals. And I'm happy to say that, for the most part, they haven't let me down. Which is why I can't let them down either. Locks can be replaced, but maybe they shouldn't. I know I hurt you, Tony. I guess I thought by not telling you about your parents I was sparing you, but I can see now that I was really sparing myself, and I'm sorry. Hopefully one day you can understand. I know you were doing what you believe in, and that's all any of us can do. That's all any of us should..
-Steve
"It's from Steve," Tony states.
Jacqueline gives him a small smile, "I knew he couldn't stay mad at you for long."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing." Jacqueline says with a smirk. "Now let's go eat. I'm starving."