I woke up from the worst dream ever. It involved my parents, and even though I can hardly remember what happened with them, my uncle tells me all kinds of stories about them and how shitty they were. But, it's basically the same dream every time, and I can't understand what it means.
My uncle took me away from my parents when I was ten years old. Although I don't remember much about them, which I can't understand, my uncle told me how terrible they were to me and how abusive they were. He said that he couldn't stand to see the way they treated me, so he filed an adoption paper, signed by them and he took me away.
My uncle has been supportive of me, no matter what. He's been there for me when I needed him, and acted like a responsible adult like he was suppose to. I was grateful to have him take me in and be there for me, and he showed me the love that I deserved for years.
Until his ex girlfriend came back to him a few years ago, and promised him shit that she told him before she left him the first time. Now, my uncle isn't the smartest guy out there, but I would of thought he learned from his mistakes when they were together before. But, that didn't happen. My uncle was hook, line and sinker for her stupid ass.
He started back on drugs because of her. He started drinking again because of her.
He had stopped all of that shit years ago, before he adopted me and he was clean for almost four years. I was proud of him, and he was doing so good. He was living his life like he was suppose to, but the moment that whore came back into his life, he was gone.
I guess people do stupid shit for love.
I couldn't understand the concept of love. Even if I tried, it's still strange to me. It doesn't make any sense, and it's pointless to fall for a person, who in the end will screw you over and you're left heartbroken.
I mean, who the hell is dumb enough to fall for that shit?
I never experienced love the way it was portrayed in movies, or how someone would describe it when they first fall in love. I never got the chance to experience love, the way everyone else always talks about.
Tommy and I were never in love. We were together, but it wasn't love. I didn't feel any butterflies when we kissed, and the sex meant nothing, because I didn't feel anything either. I'm not sure why, but I guess Tommy wasn't the one for me, or I just can't fall in love.
The type of love you get from your family; I never got that either. My uncle, sure, but it wasn't the type that made you all happy inside to have a family and to be loved by each other. It was merely just me and him, so there wasn't any type of family love that surrounded us.
Love is strange to me in many ways, if not one. It never really meant anything to me, and I guess it never will. But that's ok, because it scares me to think about giving someone something that I probably won't get back in return.
You give someone so much of you, and if they don't return the favor, then you're left heartbroken and shattered because you have given this person half of you, but it wasn't enough for them. You're left crying your eyes out with your heart broken, and you feel like the world is caving in on you because you don't know what else to do.
-
"I'm bored." I groan as Tommy, Damion and I were walking around this stupid mall. It was ten in the morning, and I shouldn't even be awake right now. I hardly slept any last night, but Tommy called me around eight this morning telling me to get ready for the mall.
Tommy chuckles as he looks at me. "You're always bored. Damn, don't you do anything fun?"
I shake my head. "No."
"You need to get out more." Damion butted in.
I glare at him. "Mind your own business, Scott." I stuck my tongue out at him. I knew he hated his last name, so of course I was going to use it out of spite. "Why are we even here?" I ask.
Tommy sighs. "My sister told me to pick her something up." I shake my head as he looks around. "I may have forgot what she said."
"Please tell me you're joking." I groan. "I hate this place. Why couldn't Sara pick it up herself?"
He shakes his head. "You know how Sara is." He explained as he was looking around. "She can't do a damn thing for herself."
I dislike Tommy's sister just as much as she dislikes me. We could not, for the sake of God, get along and I have no idea why. It was just on of those 'I don't know why I hate you' kind of things. It just happened. Ever since me and Tommy were dating, she never liked me.
We stopped in front of Victoria Secret, and I instantly stop outside as I watch Tommy walk inside as Damion was trailing behind him. Tommy stopped, which made Damion stop and they look towards me. "Why did you stop?" Tommy asks.
I shake my head. "I'll wait out here for you."
Tommy stares at me for a moment. "Why? I wanted you to come in here with me."
"Why?" I ask.
He rubs the back of his neck. "Because you're a girl and I have no idea what the fuck I'm looking for."
I caught Damion looking behind Tommy, then he looks over at me. "Isn't this place nothing but bra's and underwear?"
Tommy ran his hands down his face. "Ugh, I hate this shit."
I chuckle. "Sorry, dude. You're on your own." I shot him a peace sign then walked away as I heard him call for me. I shook my head as I made it to the escalators and went back down to the bottom floor.
I wanted food, so that was one reason why I didn't want to go with Tommy. Plus, I hate girly things and I didn't want to be in the most girly place in the mall.
I walk over to the food court and look around to see what looks good or not. I have cash, and plenty of it, so money was no object when it comes to food. I will spend any amount of money on food, because it's food.
I fucking love food.
That's another thing I think I only love.
Food is life.
I look around as my stomach was growling, and I couldn't find anything that looks good enough. My eyes scan the food court for a quick moment until I saw a specific person who caught my eye at that very moment.
I stood there for a moment as I kept staring at them to make sure that it wasn't my imagination, or if God is playing some cruel game on me. It seems as though he was, because sitting at a table across the food court was Julia.
She was sitting with a man and they were talking, smiling and whatever. I sigh as I look around because I wasn't about to stand there and seem like a stalker, because I am definitely not a stalker when it comes to Julia.
She drives me insane.
And not the good kind.
I decide to walk around until my stomach agrees on a specific food. Maybe when I pass by, my stomach would react then I would know what food to get. Right now, I'm just walking about, staring and drooling.
Shit.
I wipe my mouth as I could feel drool in the corner and I look around as nobody was watching. I continue to walk and search for something that looks really fucking good. Although all of it does look good, I can't buy every single food here.
Well, I could but I would look like a lunatic.
I finally stop at this chinese food thing, and order what looks good. I've heard some pretty crazy ass shit about the food, but I don't really give a fuck because I'm going to eat whatever I want.
I paid for my food then went to a table and sat down. I was hungry as hell and I was about to eat the shit out of this food. My stomach was making fucking whale sounds and I didn't know if anyone could hear it or not.
I started eating and mindlessly ignored everyone and everything around me as this food was the only thing that was on my mind at the moment. I didn't care if I looked like a retard having an orgasim in the middle of the food court. I was hungry.
As I was eating, I carelessly looked over towards where Julia was and saw her talking to that man sitting across from her. I watched them for a moment as they were both smiling and laughing at something either of them said or whatever, and how they both looked extremely happy.
I wonder who that man was.
God, why the fuck do I care?
"Hey!" I slightly jumped as someone yells in my ear and I saw Tommy laughing his ass off with Damion right behind him. "I scared the shit out you." He laughs as he sits down across from me.
I huffed. "Ass. Fuck you."
He chuckled as he was watching me, and Damion sat down next to me. "So, whatcha doing?"
I stare at him for a moment. "I'm eating, dumbass. What does it look like I'm doing?"
He looks around then back at me. "It looks like you were staring off somewhere when I saw you." I shake my head as he continues to stare at me. "What were you looking at?" He asks as he was looking around trying to figure it out.
"I was not looking at anything. I was just looking around." I said then took a bite of my food.
Damion groans next to me. "Damn, that looks good."
"Then go get you some, bro." Tommy said as he was handing him some money.
Damion looks at him for a moment. "I wasn't talking about food." He nods towards a direction. "I was talking about those girls over there."
We all look towards a group of girls sitting at a table, and they all look like they're teenagers. It's pretty crazy how you can tell the age group by a group of people, because of how they act or dress.
In this specific group of girls, they're wearing either booty shorts, tight jeans that show off their ass. Crop tops, or something that shows off their clevage. So, that tells you that they are all teenagers, because they can't fucking dress appropriately.
I look over at Damion. "You're a dumbass if you think they look good."
He looks over at me. "Mind your fucking business, Mitchells. Everyone has different tastes, alright?"
I shook my head then went back eating. I was still hungry, and I wasn't about to waste my time talking to Damion, when I can be shoving food in my mouth.
After I was done, I look over at Tommy as he was looking on his phone. "Did you get what you needed?" I ask. I took a sip of my drink as he looks up from his phone.
"Yeah, she wanted some perfume from there because she said it smells good or whatever." He shrugs. "I hate shopping for her."
I roll my eyes as I watch him for a moment. I look around and caught sight of Julia sitting at the table alone. I look around for that man but didn't see him anywhere. When I looked back at Julia, she was on her phone and I watched her for a moment.
"Shit, I have to go." Damion said as he was standing up.
Tommy looks over at him. "Why?"
Damion looks over at him for a moment. "I was suppose to meet someone and I'm already late." He looks between both of us for a moment. "Get your ass up!"
I watch as Tommy raises his hands up in defense and stands up. "Alright, no need to be hostile." We all start walking out of the food court, and I throw my trash away as soon as we walk by a trash can.
As we were walking, I felt someone watching me and although I usually don't care if anyone is or not, this time I turn around to look to see if anyone was looking in my direction or not.
When my eyes scanned around, I instantly saw Julia looking towards me as I finally lost sight of her and was out of her view.
-
I stare at my ceiling as my fan was spinning around, and around and around. I groan as I rub my temple from this headache I was getting. I think I was watching my fan spin for too damn long and it was making my head hurt.
I sit up and sigh. I can't believe it's the weekend, and there's nothing to do. I have no plans, and even though I usually improvise with some other shit, I have nothing to do.
My uncle wasn't here, and that wasn't a surprise. I think it's been a day or two until I last saw him. I don't really care because what he does is none of my business, just like my business isn't his, but yet he acts like it is.
I get up and grab my phone as I walk out of my room. I walk downstairs and to the garage. I needed to go somewhere, anywhere because this house was making me go insane.
I'm mostly alone here, and although I should be use to it, I'm not. I hate staying here by myself, but I also hate when Johnny is here.
I didn't have a specific destination in mind. I was just going wherever my mind was taking me. It's always fun to get lost sometimes and I do it quite often if not a lot. I always love to get away from everything. All the stress and destractions where nobody can disrupt my peace of mind.
I got into town and came to a stop. I park in front of this cafe, where I've been a few times but since I don't drink coffee like all these other damn teenagers, I usually don't come here.
Of course, they sell other beverages rather than coffee. Hot chocolate, shakes, and other shit that goes with it or whatever. I usually come here to sit alone in the corner and mess around on my phone. Usually when Johnny and I get into an argument, and other times cute girls would walk in here.
I don't usually go with cute girls, because it's a little different than women. Women have something a little more than all these girls do, that's why I prefer them over anybody else.
I slept with a few guys, but I have a deeper connection with women.
I decided to order something, then sat down in my corner and watch the cars go by through the window. I check the time on my phone and notice that it's a little after four. It's in the afternoon, so everyone is usually busy around this time. Although it's the weekend, people tend to stay busy either way.
It's usually the most crowded this time, but it seems as though nobody is in here. I look around to see everyone minding their business, either drinking alone, typing on their laptops, or talking to friends.
I stir my finger around in my hot chocolate since it's not really all that hot. It's warm, but not hot. I didn't mind it though since I probably won't be drinking it. I watch it for a moment until I heard the bell to the front door chime. I look up and see a woman walk in. I study her for a moment as she walks over to the counter and orders.
I take her in as my eyes scan over her body. She had black leggings on, with boots that went up between her ankle and knees. She also had a light brown coat on that was button up, Her hair wasn't short, but wasn't super long either. She had medium cut hair which was a dark blonde. She looks cute, but she wasn't my type.
I watch as she walks over to a table and sits down as she had her cup in her hand. Her eyes scan the cafe for a moment until they land on me. She slightly smiles and I return it until she looks somewhere else. I watch her for a moment then focus my attention on something else.
I stare down at my cup as the liquid was sitting there probably begging for me to drink it. I pick the cup up and brought it to my lips as the warm liquid came in contact with my mouth. As I was enjoying the taste of the hot chocolate, I heard the bell chime again as someone entered the cafe.
My eyes scan over towards the door and I instantly felt my drink go down the wrong pipe as I started coughing, but tried my best not to make a scene. As I got my cough under control, I watch as Julia walks in and sat down in front of that woman that walked in a few minutes ago.
I stared at her for a moment as I wondered if faith was playing a cruel joke on me, and was probably laughing right now as I sat there looking completely shocked from seeing Julia again in the same day. I wanted to hit my head on the table multiple times until I pass out.
I quickly turn my attention away from her before she caught me staring. I look towards the door as I was planning on leaving, but didn't want Julia seeing me in fear that she might think I'm following her.
Which is stupid, because why the hell would I follow her?
I had to think of something, because I had to get the hell out of here before she sees me. I can't stand being in the same place as her, and this town is so fucking small that there's no way to escape from here.
That's why I'm ready to leave.
There's too many bad memories here, and Julia happens to be one of them. I wish I never slept with her that night. I wish I could go back in time and not even pay attention as she walked through those doors.
I carefully look over towards her to see her talking to that woman. They were both facing towards each other, and they happen to be opposite from me, so that woman's right side was facing me, as Julia's left side was facing me. So, all she had to do was look to her left and she would see me.
God, I hope not.
I have to stand up and not make a scene as I slowly walk towards the door and leave. But for some reason, my heart was racing and I could feel my body sweating. It was as if I was panicking from trying to figure this shit out.
I mindlessly stand up, but of course when I did, the chair made the most loudest noise that it could ever make as it scraped across the floor. I stood there frozen as the place went quiet, and I was scared to even move.
What the fuck, Dana? Go!
I look over towards Julia and she was staring at me as I was standing there like a retard. I slowly started walking, trying to get the hell out of here as fast as I can, and surely enough, I made it outside without any problems.
As soon as I step outside, I could breathe. I sucked in air and I could feel the cold sweat forming on my forehead. I wipe it off as I hurriedly left and went to the parking lot. I walk to my bike and tried finding my keys.
I don't know why I was so panicking so fucking much. I mean, we're talking about Julia for fucks sake. She's the woman I slept with, and she also happens to be my principal, but in no way is she a threat to me, should she even make me nervous.
So, why was I panicking around her?
If she saw me, which she did, all she would think is that I was there and it was a coincidence that she was there also. Plus, earlier today we happen to see each other at the mall and it was also a coincidence.
Why did I think she would suspect that I was following her?
Damn, Dana. Get it together.
I got on my bike and slid the key in. I felt my phone vibrate as I took it out of my pocket and saw Johnny calling me. I roll my eyes as I answer it. "Yeah?"
"Where are you?" He asks.
I stare at nothing for a moment until I answer. "I'm leaving town, why?"
I heard some noises, then his voice. "You need to get home, now." He ended the call and I place my phone back in my pocket as I start the bike up. I back out of the parking lot, and speed off towards the place I hate the most.