52. Kids Will Be Kids
A few moments after Chase slipped out of the living room, Krislynn found him sitting on the back porch, staring off into the widespread fields behind the house. The wind had picked up since earlier that morning, and the breeze rushed against her skirt when she stepped onto the deck. Her heart squeezed at the sight of him and for the first time she thought to herself how lonely his back seemed to be rather than the nonchalant arrogance she usually saw.
“Chase?”
At the sound of his own name, he turned around, his expression rigid with a sense melancholy that she found mostly in his eyes. “Do you want to talk about it?” She asked, but he quickly turned away from her and returned to his mindless staring of the fields.
“No.”
It was a solid response, no room for hesitation or argument, and Krislynn smiled sadly at the image of his back turned to her again. “How about sitting together?” She decided, settling for something less until he was ready. “Can we sit together?”
Chase didn’t turn around, but the sound of his irritation was there when he spoke. “And do what?” He snapped. “Sit here and do what?”
“Do nothing. Just sit there. I just want to sit with you.”
A moment passed by, and then another, but gradually he peaked over his shoulder with a countenance of indecision about him. On one hand, he seemed to really want her there, but on the other, he also seemed suspicious of her intent. Eventually he gave in to one of the two, and Krislynn was glad it was the first rather than the latter. Heaving a sigh through clenched teeth, he patted the spot beside him and Krislynn quickly skipped forward, leaving a trail of soft giggles behind her.
“Why are you laughing?”
“Because I’m happy you want me to sit with you.” Krislynn beamed a smile at him, but Chase only returned her generosity with a remorseful frown.
“You’re a pighead,” he grunted and then shifted his gaze back to the swaying golden stalks in the distance.
Krislynn had to bit down on her lip to stop herself from attacking him. Just this once, she thought, just this once I’m going to let it slide.
Settling quietly beside him, Krislynn swung her legs over the edge of the porch and dangled them back and forth with childlike amusement. Occasionally, she would feel his eyes on her, but they were insubstantial and left as soon as they came leaving her a bit uneasy with the progress. She had been hoping he’d be willing to talk to her after a while, but Chase turned out to be harder to crack than she thought and she was afraid dinner would come before he managed to utter a word.
Since it was also her idea for him to come back and face his family and whatever problem she thought he was running away from, Krislynn also felt personal responsibility for what happened. It would be heartbreaking for Thanksgiving dinner to be ruined just because of it, and even if Chase’s issues couldn’t be resolved all in one day, she wanted to fix his mood at the very least.
“Is my mom okay?”
Rending her own attention from her thoughts, Krislynn looked to Chase with surprise before his question registered and she gave him a brief nod. “She looked… sad though.” She broke off the sentence at that, decided to stop herself before she went on to explain how his mother cried. It hadn’t been a flood of waterworks, just a couple of tears that was saddening to see before she offered up a brave smile and told Krislynn she was going back to the kitchen. Isla, of course, feeling that it had been much her own fault rushed off to comfort her mother and had left Krislynn in the living room with the photo album on her lap.
“Sorry for… flipping out at you earlier.” There was a pause of silence in between, and then, much to Krislynn’s delight, Chase turned to her and finally smiled. “Thanks. I really mean it. Thanks.”
“I didn’t do anything,” she murmured and jolted in surprise when Chase dropped his head and rested it on her shoulder.
“You’re not going to ask?” He mumbled.
“You said you didn’t want to talk about it.”
“Well… If you ask the right questions, I might answer them.”
Krislynn glowered at the head of messy brown hair on her shoulder. What a nonstop butthead he was! Even at this point he was still acting as if he was the one doing her the favour, but in the end it was now or never. If she wanted to know his reasons, this might be the only time he’d ever let her extract them from him.
“Okay,” she huffed. “When did you find out?”
“About?” He must have immediately sensed her anger because he chuckled right away and squeezed the spot just above her knee with his hand. “Alright. Alright. Thirteen,” he said. “I found out when I was thirteen accidently after a fight with Brett. I mean we always fought so that wasn’t a big deal. Usually we made up by the next day or Adam would force us to, but that time had been bad. It was an awful fight and blinded by anger, Brett had shouted something about not wanting to put up with me because I wasn’t even his real brother.”
Krislynn’s heart clenched at what that must have felt like for him, but Chase’s reaction was completely different from what anyone might have expected. “It was so hilarious after,” he laughed. “Brett felt so bad that he gave me all his desserts for an entire year and because he didn’t want mom to find out what happened, I blackmailed him into buying me all these ridiculous things! It was completely awesome!”
Chase glanced upward at her and flashed her such a mischievous smirk that Krislynn wasn’t sure what to make of it. “So your mom didn’t know you found out about being adopted? You guys kept it between yourselves?”
“No, Adam knew. Brett told him what happened after and because he was also a bit older when I got adopted, I found out a lot more from him than from Brett. My mom didn’t find out until after I left home and even then, we never really talked much about it.” He paused, took his time taking in a deep breath, and then continued. “Adam said our parents always wanted three kids… or well… at least our mom did – two boys and a baby girl. The first bit happened easily. Adam and Brett were born within a couple years of each other, but then they weren’t so lucky for their third. Mom was reckless and had a big fall during her third pregnancy and she ended up with a miscarriage. After that, getting pregnant was easy, but keeping it was a totally different story. Around the three-month mark, she would always end up with a miscarriage and after several painful tries and hoping for a miracle, I think they just stopped. Years went by, and I guess they finally came to the decision that they still wanted a baby girl so they looked into adoption instead.”
The brief image of Chase as a little baby flashed through Krislynn’s mind and she made a face at him when he glanced up at her. “Don’t tell me they mistook you for a girl…”
He laughed. “Nah. But that is where I come in and you know my story right? My mom… My biological mom was quite pregnant with me before she got into a traffic accident and though they all thought I must have been dead by the time I arrived to the hospital, I survived. They called me a miracle at the hospital. They called me a miracle at the adoption agency.”
“And your parents were looking for a miracle…”
Chase smiled weakly at her before lifting his head off her shoulder and turning his attention back to the wheat fields. “I guess it must have been something like that, huh. Who knows what they were thinking, but either way I ended up being taken home instead of some poor little girl at the orphanage. Isla was born a few years after that. The baby girl they never thought they’d have.”
Chase exhaled loudly after and fell back on the porch so his vision focused on the cloudless, blue sky. “It’s a complete family Krislynn,” he added softly. “Even without me, it’s complete.”
Krislynn felt like someone had just clawed her own heart out piece by piece and she wasn’t sure how to react to the smile that continued on Chase’s face. “That can’t be true,” she cried. “Why would you think like that?! Your family obviously care so much about you! Even if you aren’t related to them by blood, you’re still family aren’t you?! You’re still family!”
“Mm… Have you ever… I don’t know… covered your face with your thumb on a family photo?” He suddenly asked, and Krislynn shook her head, unaware of where he was taking their conversation. “It’s just like that. It’s a feeling. It’s not the logical part of it, not the fact that these people are the most important people to me in my life. It’s just this feeling. Like I don’t belong here. That if I just disappeared, it’d be okay.”
“But it’s not though!” Krislynn grabbed a hold of his hand and gripped it tightly in both of hers. She was going to get her message across to him no matter how hard it took and she was determined to see it succeed. “You see how much your family miss you don’t you? How supportive they are of you! It would not be okay if you disappeared from their lives! It would not be okay! How could you ever think that?”
Chase sighed at her claims and sat up with a sheepish looking smile on his face. “You know I tried dying my hair once,” he began. “Everyone in my family had blonde hair and I just didn’t get why mine had to be brown. Ever since I was a tiny kid it bothered me and I finally just did it. I dyed it blonde, but it looked like such shit after because my eyebrows were too dark to compliment it. So it’s like that. My life is just a bit like that. I don’t fit.”
“But what if you do?” She asked, and then from out of nowhere, she started to sing. It happened so abruptly that Krislynn wasn’t even sure what she was doing, and one look at Chase and how utterly shocked he was, was enough to turn her own cheeks into a sea of flames. But nothing could stop her from singing at that point. The notes and the words just belted out of her from the bottom of her lungs. “A, B, C, D, E, F, G! H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P!”
Chase took hold of her arm and shook it, trying to contain the hysteria from pouring out of him. “What the hell are you doing Piglet?!” He laughed. “You’ve lost it!”
Krislynn shot him a glare. Tears were uncontrollably welling inside her eyes due to the embarrassment she felt and her empathy towards him, but she kept down from spilling out like she always did. “What do you think I’m doing!” She cried. “I’m singing the alphabet!”
“Well I get that, but– ”
“It’s how your mother named you guys right?!” She shouted. “Adam, Brett, Chase and Delilah! That’s how it’s supposed to be! You can’t sing the alphabet without the C Chase! It just wouldn’t be right! And that’s how your family would feel if you just disappeared one day from their lives forever! Something would be missing! It wouldn’t be right!”
Immediately after her bold statement, Chase pulled her deep into his arms and pressed the side of his head against hers. “How is it possible for you to be this fucking cute,” he growled harshly into her ear.
“Wh- What?” She stammered.
Chase pulled away just enough to reveal the smirk on his face. “Nothing,” he murmured, and touched her nose gently with the tip of his before he leaned in and claimed a kiss.
Riveting tingles of electricity shot through Krislynn’s body and instantly made her curl her toes in anticipation. Unfortunately the kiss was short lived. Not long after their lips collided were they interrupted by a loud, purposeful cough and they hurriedly pulled away like two young kids caught in the middle of a naughty act, Chase licking his lips and Krislynn biting hers. Both their cheeks were struck with color, but only Krislynn reacted with surprise at the short stranger by the screen door.
The man must have been in his mid-thirties, but his eyes were lit with youth and his physique Krislynn couldn’t even begin to describe. It was like he had walked straight out of the TV from a body building commercial and Krislynn couldn’t stop her gaze from staring at the man’s biceps through his short sleeved shirt. His arms must have been bigger than the size of her thighs!
“Adam!” Chase exclaimed right away. “You’re here!”
Chase’s eldest brother immediately shook his head at him, straining not to break into a huge grin. “Do you even remember me?” He grumbled, but widened his arms for a hug. “Come here you lousy brat!”
Krislynn slowly got to her feet and let the brothers catch up for a moment first. No matter what Chase said about not fitting in, he seemed generally ecstatic to see his family. At least that part was undeniable, but for him to distance himself when he had the chance to, he must feel somewhat lonely when he was with them. That would explain why he refused to come back unless she came back with him, she decided.
“And the pretty girl there? You must be Krislynn. I’m Adam, Chase’s brother.”
Krislynn smiled and greeted him pleasantly before two boys came tumbling in fighting over a red truck. One of them, the younger, with a haircut like someone had placed a big salad bowl over his head and snipped all the hair around it, had tears leaking down his redden cheeks. “Dad!!!!!” He sobbed. “Ronnie won’t let me play with the truck!”
“Ron,” Adam warned, but the older boy only clung onto the truck tighter.
“I don’t want to,” he barked. “It’s not fair! Glen gets everything!”
“They’re my boys,” Adam chuckled uneasily. “Come on. Say hello to your Uncle Chase and his girlfriend Krislynn.”
“Wow. You brats really grew up huh?” Chase mumbled after the two boys uttered a quiet greeting. “The last time I saw you guys you were only like, five, and you were like two or three or something. Do you remember me?” The boys shook their heads in unison. “Oh come on! Even you Ron? Well, even if you don’t know my face, you should at least know me as the uncle that always sends you guys the best Christmas presents. You know, like the Xbox and the iPod touch last Christmas?”
The boys were both staring at Chase blankly before Adam cut in. “There’s only one TV in the house Chase,” he chuckled. “It’s black and white. And it’s only got one channel. The Xbox couldn’t even connect to it.”
“Oh…” Chase flashed Krislynn a frown when she broke into laughter before he turned his attention to Glen, the younger boy. “How about the iPod? Did you like that at least?”
Glen stared at him robotically before Ron leaned into his ear. “I think it’s that white thing you got,” he whispered.
At once, Glen’s eyes shone and Chase, feeling rather proud of himself, winked at Krislynn with the self-esteem boost. “Oh I loved it,” Glen shouted. “I have no idea what it is, but it came at the perfect timing because my desk, you know my desk dad?” He yanked at Adam’s shirt. “It was all wobbly and you didn’t have time to fix it and that’s where I put that white thing! It didn’t wobble after! The size was perfect!”
Chase was fuming by the time the boy finished explaining what he did with his Christmas present. “You used an iPod touch as a makeshift table leg?!” He shouted.
Krislynn just laughed. “And the favourite uncle award this year goes to…” She stuck her tongue out playfully at Chase when she turned to him. “Not you.”