I smoked as I followed her to her place, a little yellow and white house at the end of a road on the outskirts of the city. Private but not totally isolated. How sad is it that my first thought was someone would definitely hear me if I had to scream.
I shook it off and followed her inside. The white and yellow theme continued. It smelled like potpourri and her and was clean and colorful. Framed paintings and photographs of birds and quotes hung everywhere. It was like an extension of her tattoos. There were either real birds somewhere or a meditation track playing.
There seemed to be more windows than walls, which was cool. Gauzy white curtains hung over some, just enough to provide privacy but not mess with the light. "This is beautiful," I said. "You did all this?"
"Nothing big," she said modestly. "I have a trust fund so I'm lucky. No roommates, no real money worries. I mean I don't spend money like crazy or anything. But I like nice things, and I can afford them, so . . . " Dimples and a shrug.
I followed her into the living room, where two large cages held birds. "Hi, my darlings," she said to them, going to the first cage which held two cockatiels, then to the other where a pair of chittering blue and green parakeets went crazy. She put a strand of millet in each cage and they fell to.
A huge TV was mounted on the wall. I was mostly drawn to the large saltwater aquarium along one wall. "You do not have a seahorse," I said, spotting it. The bubbling water was soothing.
"Two of them, actually," she said, coming to stand next to me, close enough to touch. She reached out and pointed to a waving plant. "The other one's there, see?"
I didn't really care at that point, hyperaware of her proximity, but I pretended to. "Cool."
She straightened. "Can I get you something to drink or eat or smoke or . . . ?" She gestured at the red couch, which was perfect in the room. Some of the paintings had red frames. One of the framed quotes said:
burn all the things you have to burn
save all the people you have to save
I sat. "No drink drinks," I said, just to get it out of the way. I couldn't trust myself under any kind of influence. "But what else do you have?"
"Pretty much everything, since Gage gives me a case of mixed bottles like every week."
I thought of the Love Potion Number 9 joke and bit my lip to hide my smile. "Sure, root beer's great if you have it."
"I do." She disappeared into the kitchen. I tried to pat down my flyaway hairs and worried that I had mascara where it shouldn't be or that I was going to say or do something dumb beyond belief.
Then she was back and handing me a frosty bottle and sitting next to me. "Food?" I shook my head. "Want to watch a movie?" She tucked one foot under herself, her leg smooth and long.
"Sure. What do you have?" I drank some of the root beer and it was delicious.
"What do you like?" She laughed. "Okay, double entendres aside, just so you know it's all on you tonight. I'm not going to do anything to scare you away so whatever you want, goes." She clinked her bottle of cream soda against mine. "Just do whatever feels comfortable. I'm not in any hurry."
I respected her for that. "Thanks."
"Of course I'm also down for whatever so please don't feel shy," she added with a sly smile. She pulled a giant black DVD case from under the couch and unzipped it, spreading it on the table. It was full of DVDs. "These are the best ones I have," she said.
We watched Mars Attacks because it was a movie I loved and I didn't have to concentrate on it. She ended up loading the table with chips, dip, guacamole, crackers, cheese, and olives. All of it organic and delicious. "You and Evie will get along," I observed when the movie was over. "She's all about organic."
She was trying to get a chip into her mouth without spilling the guacamole. "I'm not all 'body is my temple' about it, but I do care what I eat, I guess. I totally eat at regular restaurants and all still."
"It's good. I should, too." I snorted. "Probably the smoking's not great, either."
She elbowed me softly. "Uh, you're entitled to smoking," she reminded me. "After all the shit you've been through."
"Maybe," I said. I kind of wished I had a beer or wine cooler so I could get over the fear of touching her because I really, really wanted to after two hours of sitting next to her. "Who gave you a trust fund?"
She drank some water. "My grandma. She died last year. She was on my side, and rich, so she left it all to me."
"On your side?"
She made a face. "My parents are holy rollers. Sent me to get-straight camp and everything when I was a kid. Pretty damaging. It's a wonder I turned out as well as I did," she mocked herself, but a flatness came into her eyes.
My eyes kept returning to one of her framed quotes.
She's been through hell and came out an angel
You didn't break her, darling
You don't own that kind of power
"I'm sorry about your parents." I took a picture of the quote so I could think about it later.
She shrugged. "I haven't had contact with them in years and that will never change. They're douchebags. They always have been. But thanks." She drank the rest of her water and sat back. "I need to stop eating. I blame your weed."
"As well you should." I sent a third text to Moey that I was alive and well and not to bother me, and put my phone away.
"So I'm not going to bust out my massage table but it's a standing offer. Also totally cool to sit on the floor and get a shoulder rub. Shirt optional." She winked at me so I would know she wasn't pushing me.
But I wasn't scared anymore. It was safe. "That would be awesome. Especially if we had some music."
She got up and plugged in her iPod, and Tyler Joseph's No Phun Intended album began. The lead singer of Twenty One Pilots had made the music as a very sad teenager and it was mostly known only to their fan base. The precious album was the very foundation of the band, though most of the world only thought they sang about being stressed out.
"No," I said, delighted.
"Oh, yes," she grinned, adjusted the volume, then came back and sat. She raised an eyebrow.
"Okay," I said, suddenly scared for a completely different reason as I slid down to sit between her knees. I grabbed the bottom of my shirt and pulled it over my head in one motion. I wasn't wearing anything under it and I suddenly missed my hair a lot because it had at least covered me.
My back was to her but she said "Wow," and then her hands were on my back and I was melting. It was the first time someone who actually knew what they were doing had massaged me and the difference was obvious. If this was what my friends got all the time, it was no wonder they called me magic hands. She kneaded my shoulders and thumbed up my neck so my head fell forward, with the right amount of pressure, her hand soft and strong and sure.
Pretty soon I was tired of her fingers being so polite because they were coming down in front juuust far enough to tease me but no more. I couldn't take it anymore and without even knowing I was going to do it, I took her hands and drew them down so they cupped my boobs. I could hear her sharp intake of breath and she said "Oh my God," and then I didn't need to direct her any further. She took my nipples between her thumbs and forefingers and gently pinched, let go, pinched again, and stroked her thumbs back and forth. I almost died.
Then she was tugging me up next to her and we were kissing hard, my hands pushing up her shirt and yanking it over her head. Just seeing her without anything on took my breath away further. The pictures and words continued uninterrupted across her breasts, which were naturally round and perfect. She pushed me gently back on the couch and kissed down my neck, her mouth replacing one of her hands as she sucked on my nipple, nibbling, and the other hand kept up the steady stroking and pinching.
I did not know if it was possible to have an orgasm without even being touched below the waist but I was just about there and she helped me out of my skirt and panties. When she kissed me again, and brought her fingers down between my legs, she barely touched me before I was exploding with the most intense orgasm of my life. She kept her fingers moving in soft circles and then her warm tongue replaced the fingers and made it happen again, and again, and with two fingers inside me a fourth and fifth time until I had to make her stop because I couldn't take any more.
I lay there gasping for breath, on a level I'd never even known existed, despite the healthy amount of porn I'd checked out as a curious teen. I couldn't talk, couldn't think. She ran her hand up my leg and down again, slowly. "I told you," she said, unable to be quiet, her dimples deep. Her face was both shy and proud. Her shorts had disappeared too. "Not a coherent thought for three days."
My only thought was I wanted to make her feel the same. It had been four years since I had done it, and only one time, not to mention clumsily at that, but I didn't even care. I mimicked everything she'd done to me, her nipples hard and incredibly tantalizing in my mouth, my other hand stimulating that nipple so that she finally took my hand and put it where she wanted it.
She was so wet and hot my fingers slid easily in her and my thumb made gentle circles on her clit, which I then replaced with my tongue. I wasn't exactly sure what to do and my heart was pounding but I kept my fingers moving and tried to do what she had done and it worked. Several times. I was so pleased with myself I was grinning from ear to ear when she finally stopped me, speechless as well.
"What were you saying about three days?" I drank some of my water. My fingers smelled like her and it made me blush and also want to go again.
"Three weeks," she said huskily, then cleared her throat. "And here I thought you were a rookie."
"I am," I admitted, wondering if I should put my clothes back on but not super inclined to yet. I reached out and touched her nipple. "Boop."
She laughed and pulled me to her, hugging me. "You're crazy," she said. "And you are not a rookie."
"I am," I insisted. "I've only been with two girls, and only done that for one. And it did not have that effect," I laughed at myself a little. "I actually just tried to do what you did."
"Well, I'm a hell of an example, then," she said, still breathing hard. "Whew."
"I guess I'm a natural." I couldn't keep the smile off my face. I felt really good for the first time in a long time. Years, maybe.
"I guess fucking so." She stood up. "Come lay in bed with me, naked lady."
"Do you mind if I smoke first?" Because I needed to.
"We'll open the window in my room."
I followed her, because duh.