Chapter 4 : Faith , Fate , and Fear.
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Faith. Fate and fear.
Three different words. They all start with the same letter but are vastly different in meaning.
Extremely different in meaning.
As I headed for work that day, I was almost trembling from anxiety.
Some man I was.
No. I wasn't going to bend down on one knee and propose to her.
After all, I was not ready for this. I didn't want to just go ahead and marry someone I didn't get to know first.
I mean yeah, Sam said that the two parties did get to know each other. They got to hang out with other parties who were direct family to the girl, (e.g. uncles, brothers, fathers etc.) . Then , if they liked each other enough, they were to do the nikkah. It was like a contract that said that the two parties were engaged. Basically, married but didn't have the wedding yet.
They would then be able to hold hands, kiss, go out on dates alone, and do most things that couples would do.
And it would be halal; permitted by their religion.
But seriously? Why was their religion stopping them from dating people like normal and just having fun?
"Islam forbids such relationships to ensure that men are not to use girls as toys, or the other way round, playing with them, then throwing them away when they had no more use for them..." Sam had said, but it still seemed weird to me.
Perhaps it always will.
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"Hey, can you please lend me some ink? My printers totally dry..." Sarah said , totally calm and appearing completely unshaken by our latest encounter.
"Sure." I said, handing her a tiny box and trying to maintain the same calm façade that she was wearing.
I then sunk back into work, work, and more work.
When my head was spinning and my eyes were drooping from what I liked to call 'work overdose', I figured that it would definitely do me good if I headed for the buildings café.
It was a good place. It had picnic tables out in the open and was so full of relaxing trees, flowers, and scenery.
It was then that I got my next splendid Idea.
Texting.
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I pondered over my newfound idea for awhile, trying to figure out how I'll make it work.
I just needed to do some... Stalking?
Yup. Some social media stalking.
Or... I could tell my overdramatic brain to shut up and get her number from the public employee site.
That would be much better.
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Never hesitate. If you want to do something, then just do it.
I kept on thinking that again and again until I finally summoned the courage and sent a text to the great Sarah Saleh.
Hey. I texted.
A couple of minutes later , my phone vibrated.
+1-40XXXXXXX : Hello?
Yes. Time for some answers.
How are you? I typed,without even stopping to think twice about it.
Sarah : fine, thank you. May I know who this is?
I have some questions about Islam, I texted back, evading her question. Honest to God! That was one of the major reasons I was texting her. No deception from my side. Or atleast not much.
Sarah: I'm all ears.
Sarah: but in return, I want to get some answers about Christianity of you're Christian.
She was interested in Christianity? Because if she was, then... Things would be much easier.
Why are humans here? Why were they created...? According to your religion...
Yes. I know I started it of with such a deep question.
But I needed to make this difficult for her.
For awhile, I kept firing difficult questions at her, and she kept firing answers back.
I'd tried to make the questions tough to answer, but she'd found answers to every single one.
What was weird is that she never said "I think..." Or such.
She always said "according to the Quran... According to the prophet, making it seem like her religion had all the answers.
She made it seem like it was all facts and no opinions.
Sarah : well. Your turn now.
She was indicating that it was my turn at answering her questions.
Sarah : Jesus PBUH is human?
Me: Yes.
Sarah: and he's God?
Me: Yes.
Sarah: how is that even possible?
Me: I'm not one to answer that question... it's like three layers of an egg...But why do you guys always keep clinging to and using the same argument?
Sarah: because you guys still didn't give us a valid answer.
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The next day was a very long one.
Aside from all the designing I had to work on, some unexpected events happened.
For example, a drunk , haggard looking man appeared at the company's door step.
He wouldn't stop yelling about how he didn't want a home without his family and would rather be homeless. He was almost completely incoherent.
He must've been going through a tough time but we still had to call the police to drag him away.
He made sure to empty his stomach on our doorstep as a good-bye gift.
And believe me, even after cleaning it with prestigious Wallie World cleaning products, the smell lingered in the air.
It just ended up smelling like cleaning products mixed with that.
Finally, I was discussing some designs with Sarah when her phone started ringing.
"Do you mind if I take this call?" She smiled apologetically.
I shrugged and nodded at her to go ahead.
She spoke a little in Arabic and her face seemed to keep growing paler by the second.
"They...they all died?...no one left?" She spoke in English this time. Her voice was shaky and her cheeks seemed to have lost all color.
"Inna lilah wa ina ilayh larajioon...I...this so sad..." She added, I didn't understand what she was saying, but I did understand the last part.
After she hung up, she let out an exasperated, sharp sigh and looked so close to tears.
"Sarah...? What happened?" I whispered.
Her eyes met mine and I saw deep grief and pain in them.
"My...my uncle and his whole family..." She closed her eyes, seeming to struggle with believing what had actually happened, "They...all...they all just died in a .. they all died...in a car crash...I was supposed to get married to my oldest cousin, my uncle's adopted son, But he died...the baby also died...she was only three...she was such a sweet innocent cousin..." she held my gaze, "she was only three, Adam."
"I'm so sorry...my sympathies...my deepest condolences, Sarah. I'm so sorry...." I creased my eyebrows, knowing for sure that nothing I ever say will make her feel better.
She closed her eyes and stood there, seemingly breathing in a steady inhale-exhale pattern.
I wanted to hug her more than ever.
I wanted to take her sorrow and make it mine.
She slowly opened her eyes and gave me a curious look.
"It's not your fault." She said , after what seemed like forever, "I don't even know why I'm telling you this..."
I then told her that she should get off work for the day. There wasn't much time left for the end of the day and I was more than willing to take care of both our work loads.
She hesitated, and then gave in reluctantly.
She thanked me sincerely and left hurriedly. Panic etched on every inch of her face.
I then called Sam.
"Hey man. How've you been?" I asked.
We passed a few words between us, Making small talk about the work and the weather.
"What does ina lalaha wana alaha rajin? " I asked, finally getting to what I've been dying to ask.
He chuckled quietly.
"It's ina lilahi wa ina ilayhi la rajioon." He said, "it's an Arabic phrase in Islam that means we all belong to Allah (God) and to him we shall return. To God we belong, and to Him we shall return."
"Oh."
"It is used to express being content at fate and to seek refuge in God... Muslims say it when someone dies...or when something bad happens..."
I thanked him and hung up.
Walking back home, I realized the major link between the three words that I mentioned earlier.
Yes. They were three extremely different words.
But Sarah demonstrated how they could all be put together in one simple sentence.
Having Faith stops us from Fear of Fate.
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Minor Edits on 2/16/24
A/N : heeeeey beauties! This chapter was kinda rushed. And I did NOT do Any editing on it. So yeah , sorry.
Anyway this story is getting more reads than I expected 😍😭 Thank you!
I'm going to try and start doing this
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Muslim fact of the day :
Muslims use "assalam alaikom" as a greeting.
It means peace be upon you.
( I'm willing to gelp anyone who wants to know anything about Islam...but please...no negativity.)
Tima E.