Jess went on with her life pretending that she was okay, she still works at Fred's diner and tried to keep herself occupied with a lot of things just to stay away from reminiscing the man who crushed her deeply. Fred never asked what happened to her, but his concern gaze told her that he might have an idea that she was going through tough times. Her heartbreak was grief that comes in waves, grueling, stealing appetite and sleep alike. It was a hard lump in her guts that never leaves, though perhaps in time the edges would dull but for now its sharpness was pricking her. It felt like death just the same as bereavement and in quiet moments it chokes the breath from her body and short circuits her mind. What was once whole was shattered; where once was peace was emptiness, echoes of a love that she put everything into. With each passing day she takes another step away from the pain it caused her, however with great strength to overcome the sting that continues to linger. She was already exhausted from feeling sorry for herself.
Jess's love turned poison, her mind cycles through emotions faster than a kid flipping radio channels. She gone from level to rocky - fighting a mixture of competing emotions, each of them vying for dominance. After the reboot of sleep, she was calm, the day stretching ahead with possibilities - time to get jobs done, connect with friends, enjoy nature. Yet this coping was a thin veil over trauma and even the smallest of setbacks changed her emotional landscape. By evening the sadness welled up, uncertainty rushing to the fore, and she knew it was time to sleep. How the crazy dreams stitch her head back together she has no clue, it's a new miracle every night. Days go by and the self-condemnation has slowly subsided but the anger kicks in. Burning rage hissed through her body like deathly poison, screeching a demanded release in the form of unwanted violence. It was like a volcano erupting; fury sweeping off her like ferocious waves. The wrath consumed like, engulfing her moralities and destroying the boundaries of loyalty. She ripped off anything that reminded her of Shaun, which was quite a lot. Every little piece of his existence in his apartment has been cast completely. If he never considered her as important in his life then Jess realized that there's no point hoping that he would come by and beg for forgiveness, his words were clear that he found her disgusting and boring.
A giggle broke as two teen girls blushed tremendously cutting Jess thought, she turned her head and looked at them. Their eyes were on the television screen in front as their smiles went crazy, they tried to contain their excitement but fail vividly. When Jess decided to look at what the commotion was about a melody played with good vibrato, the tremulous effect created an impressive warmth in the ears. Jess suddenly felt her blood boil and she gritted her teeth firmly. She watched the teens whose eyes sparkle upon seeing the image of Shaun on the screen. She felt sick.
"Did I look like that before every time I see Shaun?" she thought as reality dawned on her she probably did when she was still revolving her world in Shaun's orbit.
She immediately walked away from the scene and went out to get some air. Fred saw her and gave her a confused look. She didn't bother to respond, when she was outside, she filled her lungs with oxygen and released it slowly. She realized that this was no longer healthy for her. She can't go on hating everything that would rub her off Shaun. She steadied herself and crossed her arms. She needs to work on her anger. She needs to find some alternative to at least minimize the negative emotions that creep in her every day.
Just when she was about to scream Fred showed up and stood right beside her.
"Are you okay?" he asked, not really looking at her. He took a stick out from his pocket and puffed some cigarettes.
"You know that smoking can kill you, right?" Jess remembered, pointing directly at his vice.
Fred laughed like it was the funniest thing to say. "I know but I will have a few more years before the symptoms show up so let's leave that to the future me." He answered.
She shrugs her shoulders and didn't say a word after that. Fred looks at her intently.
"Are you okay?" He asked again.
After a pause, she nodded and gave out her sweetest smile.
"Of course! I am fine..." she lied.
Fred didn't answer but his facial expression says he didn't believe her, but he decided not to push anything to her.
"Well, it's good that you are here I also want to talk to you about something." He diverted the topic smoothly as he continued to puff some smoke.
"What is it?" Jess asked.
"Well, the diner has been here for years and though we have consistent customers, we cannot also deny that we need to be more competitive with our strategy. The peaceful and quiet atmosphere has been the reason why people come back however these only caters to some age groups and I would like to also address the glaring reality that we have to pay attention to the younger patrons..." he said.
Jess's brows crossed and he was curious about his plan. She waited for him to finish.
"I am planning to open a live band this weekend for musically inclined guests. I'd like to see if that will work well and from there determine if I will have to make it permanent or not..." He uttered.
Jess smiled at the idea and her eagerness was evident. "That is a good plan Fred, I guess that will help in reintroducing the diner to the younger audience and have them experience something unique that other restaurants are not offering." She halted.
"So, who will play this weekend?" She dared ask.
Fred smirked. "Us..."
**********************************
Jess didn't know how she was dragged into a situation that she didn't really ask for. Fred was so persistent with his plans that she expected him to be pranking them, she was waiting for him to come out clean and break the stupid joke. The thought of opening a concert using the Diner's crew was undeniably hilarious to say the least but Jess was confronted with the reality that Fred was not playing around and was dead serious about the whole thing.
"Why can't we just invite amateur bands to perform?" Jess reasoned out.
"Because I want our patrons to know that there is more than we can offer than just serving their food," Fred replied.
They were gathered with the rest of the attendants and were discussing the upcoming performance. There were only five people who operated the diner. First was Jose who was the head cook and he has one assistant in the kitchen named Leny, there are two waitresses in the front-line Abby and her, Abby was not a regular though since she's only doing this as a part time, lastly there was Fred.
"But Fred... That will be embarrassing." She pointed it out again.
Fred smiled. "I know that this is something that I didn't ask all of your thoughts about. However, this is also for us to have fun. Let's forget about other people for now, anything that bothers us leave it behind. Let's enjoy this moment as a team." He persuaded.
"I'm okay with that, it is about time I show my skills in music." Jose agreed.
"Whatever the boss wants I am in," Leny added.
"Well, I know some basic piano since I learned it when I was a kid. So, I guess I can help." Abby uttered.
Fred was smiling from ear to ear and his eyes landed on Jess.
"What about you, young lady? Any thoughts?" Fred's brows were raised as he waited for her response.
She looked at the people in front of her and they were silent as she tried to contemplate the scenario in her head. With a final glance, she breathed a sigh of defeat.
"Fine. For the team then..." she answered.
A shriek of excitement erupted as Fred and Jose did a high five. Abby was smiling too and even Leny was laughing.
"Alright, so we have Abby who will play the piano but who will play the bass guitar?" Fred retorted to his serious note.
Leny cleared his throat and raised his hand. "I will do it. I have been part of the band before, so I have tried doing it." He volunteered.
"Great! Thank you, Leny. So, I will play the drums and Jose will take the lead. So that would mean Jess will be our vocalist." He concluded.
"What? Why me?" Jess complained.
"Alright. If you are not going to be our vocalist, what instruments are you going to play?" Fred dared.
Jess was taken aback because she had no other talent to offer. She does not have any idea how to play the musical instruments either, now she regretted why she didn't learn the basics with Shaun before. He was the musically inclined one and while he learned the necessary skills, he needed she was there watching and daydreaming of him. Now she wanted to smack her younger self. She cleared her throat and shook her head indicating a No.
Fred clasped his hands. "It is settled then. We have a full band now. We will meet again to practice. I am so excited. This will be great!" He finished.
Jess hopes so. She closed her eyes tightly...