The battle was at full force. Draco, Gregory and Vincent closed the door to the Room of Requirments, leaving me out in the commotion. Scabaior was dead. I was angry. Hurt. I scanned the caos around me to see a small framed, blond boy trying to sneak by unnoticed. I pushed my way to him, sneaking up behind him.
"And who is this?" I questioned. He quickly turned around. I raised my wand: so did he.
"Stupefy-" He tried to get out, but I didn't give him the chance.
"Expeliarmus!" I shouted. His wand fllew from his hand landed in the middle of the madness. I cornered him. "Now I'll ask again: Who are you?"
"W-why?" He stuttered.
"I want to know the name of my victum." I hissed.
"C-Colin Creevey." He barley got out the words. I almost cackled:I reconised the name from the Snatching List.
"A Muggleborn. I might as well put you out of your misery now." I smirked. "Avada Ke-"
"No, stop!" He interupted me. I put a hand on my hip, letting him give his finale plee. " I have a younger brother. Our parents are clueless as to what is going on! I'm the only one who can care for him. Please! Don't! For Dennis's sake!" He was finally crying. Now that he was finished, I raised my wand again.
"Avada Kedavera!"
He was still looking at me when the green light engulfed him. He looked sad: hopeless. He was dead, but was staring me in the face.
He was... he....
I opened my eyes. It was a dream: a nightmare; a flashback.
I was screaming and crying. My arms were flaling infront of me, hitting what ever was in the way. I could barley breath.
"Elle, it's okay." Narcissa tried to sooth. She was suddenly to my right.
"No!" I called out. "No it's not!" My mind was racing a million miles per minute.
Collin Creevey. I killed him. He asked me not to, and I did it anyway. I knew it was wrong. He had a younger brother. He told me. He begged me. Killing him accomplished nothing, and I did it just to be doing it. I was a murderer. A killed him. I Killed Him. I KILLED HIM!
"I killed him!" I finally yelled out. Narcissa looked at me in concern. I could barley see her through my tears.
"Who, dear?" She calmly asked.
"She's yelled that before." Lucius came up on my other side. I began to feel closed in.
"Did she say who?"
"She won't say who." He turned to me. I was screaming, in hystreics. I hadn't thought about Colin Creevey in a long time, and now, to see it all played out again... I saw how horrible or a person I really was. "Eleanor, can you hear me?"
"I killed him!" I covered my face. The green light kept flashing in my head. My breath became harder and harder to catch. I had to resort in taking deep, stratic breaths. I began hypervenalating.
"Should we Floo Healer Phillips?" Narcissa asked. Lucius looked at the clock on the wall.
"It's four in the morning, Cissa." He replied. She shook her head.
"It doesn't matter. We have to do something." She tried to pull me into her, but I pushed her away. I couldn't focus on one thing, which made everything even worse. I began to pull on my hair. I wasn't sure why, but it was the only thing I could think of to do.
"Lets wait a few more minutes, and if she doesn't calm down, we'll Floo him." Lucius finally compromised. Narcissa agreed.
So, they waited five minutes or so, softly trying to comfort me. None of it worked. I was still hysteric. I was a murderer! I killed Colin Creevey! He was still a child, really, and I killed him!
"Okay. I'll Floo him." Lucius got out of bed and walked across the room to the fireplace. He waved his wand, making a fire rise in the fireplace, then threw some Floo Powder into the flame. It flashed green for a moment, which made my sobs harder-
Green. Just like the killing curse.
-Then he instructed to connect to St. Mungo's Psych Ward. He was redirected a couple times, then finally ended up face-to-face with Healer Phillips.
"Mr. Malfoy?" He questioned. "Is everything okay? Is that Elle crying?"
"Yes. She's really upset."
"What upset her?"
"I'm not really sure. Remember a few monthes ago when she was upset and was saying 'I killed him'?"
"Yes. Is she doing that again?"
"Yes."
"So it was probably an outcome of a nightmare, like last time?"
"Yes, and she wont' tell us what exactly is wrong."
"Okay. Why don't you bring her over, and I'll try to see what is bothering her."
"Are you sure it isn't too early?" Lucius asked. Healer Phillips shok his head.
"She isn't the only patient having problems tonight. Go ahead and bring her over."
"Alright. Thank you very much." Lucius nodded.
"No problem. That's what I'm here for." Healer Phillips replied. "I will see you shortly." He added, then the connection broke. Lucius turned to Narcissa and I. At this point, I was curled into a ball, still trying to breath, and covering my tear-streaked face. Lucius came over and touched my arm.
"Elle, can you get up? I'm going to take you to St. Mungo's."
"Why?"
"Because you haven't been in four days, and we think it's best you go." He replied. I finally looked up at him, then sat up, still crying.
"Can... I have Melvin?" I questioned. I was begining to snap out of it, at atleast breath.
"Of course." Narcissa got up as well, as waved her wand, making the dragon fly into the room. I caught him and hugged him to my chest.
"Okay. Come with me." Lucius took my arm. "Narcissa, you should stay here with Draco. We shouldn't be long..." He didn't sound so sure. This made a small squeak escape my lips. He gently pulled me towards the fireplace as Narcissa went towards her closet, taking a robe that was handing on the door handle and wrapping it around her. I tried to concentrate on my breathing as Lucius threw some Floo Powder into the fireplace. After the flame turned green, he pulled me through.
We came out at the front of the Psych Ward. The Healer at the front desk reconised us, and I her (I just couldn't remember her name), so she just nodded at us in a friendly way as we started towards Healer Phillips office.
On the way, I counted the tiles on the floor, just so I would have something to concentrate on. My thoughts were still eveyrwhere at once. I just wanted them to stop. To let me focus on one thing, and to let me conrtrol them.
As we passed by doors, I could hear that some people weren't asleep. At some doors, I could hear crying. At others screaming. Some offered sounds that were not so violent; just footsteps or the crunch of eating. It was strang though. It was very early in the morning, and still dark outside. Why were so many people up at this hour?
I was still trying to think clearly when we reached Healer Phillip's office. Lucius came to a halt infront of it, focing me to stop as well. He knocked on the door, and Healer Phillip's answered.
"Goodmorning, Mrs. Malfoy. Would you like to come in?" His tone sounded calm, but over all he looked frazzled. There was a small spot of what looked like some kind of combination spilled on the hem of his white robes. A piece of parchemtn was limply hanging out of his breast pocket, and a piece of his hair was sticking up. I wasn't sure if he knew, so I chose not to say anything...
"Come on, Elle." Lucius finally pulled me forwards after waiting a moment or two for me to answer. We went into the office, and Healer Phillips closed the door behind us. I imediatly went to the leather couch, laying down and holding Melvin close to my chest. I looked around the office: Like my Healer, the office looked a little out of order, too. A few books were out of the bookshelf and laying open across his desk and the floor. A half sandwich sat on a plate on his desk. A quill was left out on it's side, with ink dripping onto the desk.
"So, what brings you here this morning?' Healer Phillips asked, grabbing a folder out of a file cabinat and sitting in his usual seat. I turned my attention to him, then looked at Lucius.He motioned for me to talk to Healer Phillips. I looked back at Phillips.
"I had a bad dream, and... and..." My lips started to quiver as the flashback began to replay again.
"And what?"
"And....I killed him!" I pressed my face into Melvin.
"Mrs. Malfoy." He got up and stood infront of me. He bent down, so out faces would be at even height if I were to look up. "I belive this has happened before, hasn't it?" I kept crying. "It's in your file. Can you tell me who you're talking about?" I shook my head no, still with my face in Melvin. "Mrs. Malfoy, I can't help you if you don't tell me what you're upset about."
"I killed him!" I yelled again. Healer Phillips frowned.
"Please, Mrs. Malfoy. I know it's something you're upset about, but you need to tell me in order for me to help. I won't be mad at you. No one will. We just need to know what you're talking about."
I slowly looked up at him. I could feel my tears sliding down my face.
He was lying. I knew he was lying. Everyone would be mad. I killed Colin Creevey. A kid who didn't have a chance. Not only did I kill him, but I killed him because he was weaker. I killed him because I was angry. I killed him because I could. I killed him because I was a bad person. I killed him. I KILLED HIM!
My head was screaming, but instead of doing the same, I quietly mumbled.
"I killed him...." And put my face back into Melvin. Healer Phillips sighed and stood back up . He began talking to Lucius.
"I don't think she's going to talk tonight."
"Me neither." Lucius agreed.
"It's a rough night. It's a full moon. Most of the patients are having a hard night."
"I hadn't thought about that."
"Yes. It seems to get difficult around here during the full moon, and I have a feeling she is going to be irritable and moody. There really isn't anything I can do if she doesn't want to talk to me. All I can say is make sure she takes her Combination when it's time, and try to keep her remotly happy."
"Do you want to keep her here for the rest of the night?" Lucius asked. Healer Phillips shook his head.
"I don't think it will matter. You can keep her here is you or her feel it is nessicary. Otherwise, you can take her home."
Lucius moved forward.
"Elle, do you want to stay here or go home?" He asked. I looked up at him, biting my lip.
"...Here..." I finally sniffed. I didn't really want to stay there, but I didn't want to Floo back. I wanted to lay down, and be left alone, like I deserved. I was so terrible. So, so terrible...
I began to sob again. Lucius put a hand on my shoulder.
"It's okay... Come on. Lets go to your room." He gently guided. I complied, getting up and following him out.
"If you need me, you can come get me. I'll come check on you later. And if you're feeling better, Mrs. Malfoy, you can tell me all about your trip." Healer Phillips held the door open for us as we went out.
My room looked the same as the last time I had stayed there. I walked across the room and sat on the bed. Lucius at beside me.
"Do you want to try to go back to sleep?" He asked me. I shrugged.
"What-what time is it?" I questioned. He pulled out his pocket watch and looked.
"Almost four." He replied. I rubbed my eyes. My tears were starting to slow again, so my eyelids were getting heavey..
"I...don't know." I shrugged, but layed down.
I killed him. I killed him.
It kept playing over and over in my head, and it was still pretty hard to breath.
Guilt was smothering me.