Eleanor Snape- Book 5, Part 2

Separation Anxiety

After having tea, Lucius calmed down enought, after much convencing from his wife, to give me another chance. He wasn't going to do anything but send me to bed early for a couple days, as well as ask Healer Green to evaluate my Combinations, because ti had been overly emotional for the last few days. 

Later that day, at Therapy, Lucius stayed out side of the room, leaving me alone with Healer Green in an attempt to distance himself from me. I cried for afifteen minutes, laying on the brown couch and clutching Melvin.  When I finally calmed down enough to talk, the healer attempted to speak to me.

"What's wrong, Eleanor? You were doing so well, even before you went home. Now you don't want to be sepparated from Lucius. What happened?"

"I don't want him to go away."

"Why not? You even stayed here with Narcissa a few times. You were able to get through lunches with out either of them."

"I'm scared..." I admitted, taking a chunk of my hair and pulling on it. 

"A what?"

"I...I don't know... I just... want..."

"Have your Combinations been working?"

"I don't know..." I pulled harder. Healer Green took my hand and untangled it from my hair.

"Do you think they have been?"

"....No...." My voice was very quiet. He shook his head.

"You know you're suppose to tell us when you don't htink they're working."

"I don't like new ones. What if they make me sick...?"

"Then we'll try another, but there's no point in taking it if it itsn't working. We have to find what works of you."

"But how long will that take...?" Tears started to slowly snake down my cheeks again. He handed me a hanky. 

"I know it's frustrateing, but we will enventually find it. You're nightly Combinations are working for you, right? You're sleeping through the night?" He asked. I nodded my head yes, and he offered a sincere smile. "You keep on taking your Combinations, and I'll get a new batch in a couple days.Now, lets get to the second thing we need to discuss: You hit someone, Eleanor. What did I tell you about hititng people."

"Not to...." I guiltfully looked down.

"Exactly. So why did you?"

"Because she held me down, and she... I thought she was going to drug me because she was trying to give me the wrong one....and I got scared..."

"Did you think to stop and explain to her that it is the wrong one?"

"Yes...I tried..." I hesitated. He shook his head.

"Are you telling me the truth, Eleanor?"

"Kind of..."

"Are you sure you didn't just yell?"

"Maybe..."

"I don't doubt that you fought it, but you shouldn't have hit her. What you should have done was calmly explain to her that that was the wrong one." HE cleared his throat .I shook my head no.

"I thought she knew it was the wrong one."

"Eleanor, I want you to close your eyes and think logically: Would Narcissa hurt you?" 

I sincerly closed my eyes and thought about that. When I first met her five years ago, she would. Infact, until after The War, she had never really seeemed fond of me. So was it genuine? And if it wasn't, why did I sometimes find myself wanting her company instead of Lucius's? Of course, she did talk him out of punishing me. Why would she did that if she didn't care? And if she cared, she wouldn't hurt me. Since she did that, then taht meant that she wouldn't hurt me.

"I guess not..." I bit my lip. He nodded. 

"Eleanor, keep your eyes closed. " He instructed. "I want to do a  quick exercise. Will you tell me everyone your trust. Everyone you would talk to, or want to spend time with."

"I..." I thought hard. "Lucius...And Narcissa....And you.... and Gilderoy... and Gregory..." I started to list them off on my fingers, "And...And...Do Virgo and Orion count?"

"Yes, they count."

"Then Virgo and Orion... and... I don't know who else..." 

"What about Draco?"

"No... he....he...." What did he do? Keep me from seeing my Uncle. From Vincent and Scabior. But in doing that, he saved my life, although I wasn't sure if I really wanted it. Everyone told me I did, but...No. I wanted it. 

I tried to argue with my own mind. Two sets of thoughts were pulsing through it at once, distressing me. I let out a long whimper. 

"Eleanor?" Healer Green questioned. I took in a few deep breaths, more automatically than by force. 

"I...Can I go home now?"

"I don't think you should yet. I think you should stay here and talk to me."

"But....Lucius said I have to go to bed early.... and...." I tried to think of reasons to go home with Lucius as soon as possible. I opened my eyes, and he shook his head.

"It's 6:25. You're early bedtime is 7:45. What's bothering you?"

Should I tell him? 

"I'm just trying to make you feel as best as you can."

"I'm... confused...."

"Confused about what?"

"I..." What was I confused about? ii wasn't sure. All I knew was that it was definally upsetting me.

"Are your throughts raceing?" He asked, bending down to my level. I put my hands to my head and closed my eyes, putting my knees to my chest. 

"Make it stop...." I quietlly begged. I knew that meant more Combinations, but I didn't care. I began sobbing. He patted my shoulder a couple times.

"Try to calm down. I will try to get you something. Do you want to go to bed? Are you tired?"

"I'm tired... and...it's just..." It tried to explain the feeling of the racing thoughts, but it was too dificult. He seemed to know what I was talking about, though, because he nodded his head. 

"I'll go get Lucius, then I'll get you something. Stay right here."

I listened to him. He left teh room, and his place was taken by Lucius, who tried to sooth me. It helped a little bit. When Healer Green came back, he was holding a vial larger than what my usual  Combinations came in. He hadned it to Lucius.

"If she wants to go to bed, by all means let her. Did she miss her nap or something? She really might just be tired. Not getting enough rest could really affect her Bipolar Disorder."

"She woke up in the middle of the night last night, but that's it."

"Maybe all the crying and worrying has just worn her out. It's been an eventful day. Go ahead and take her some, she doesn't have to go to Group Session today, and let her go to bed. Also, I was thinking about tommorrow. Do you have an office at your work."

"I own the Malfoy Apothicary. Yes, it's in the back. Why?"

"Why don't you take her with you. I'm sure her being with you will keep her satisfied. You can try to have her help you. If she starts to get upset, but her in the office."

"I'm not sure about that..." Lucius put in. 

"I think you should try is tommorrow. If it doesn't work out, you don' t have to try it again. But the source of her problems seems to be from a sudden case of seperation anxiety. This might solve the problem until we can get her Combinations switched over."

"Which will be in?"

"We'll have them ready in a couple days. In the mean time, just try it."

"I suppose I'll have to." Lucius gave in. They both turned to me. "Eleanor, if you go to work with me tommorrow, do you promise to be good?"

"Uh-huh..." I softly replied after I had taken a drink of the Combination Healer Green had given me. He said I could drink this one slowly, one sip at a time. I tightly held onto Melvin with my other hand. Healer Green nodded, seeming satisfied.

Lucius didn't look so sure.