I regained consciousness slowly but surely. In the other room I heard a low murmur of voices coming from just outside the door. I groaned, and rolled to my side leisurely. I came to the conclusion that I must have been at my aunt’s house for the Christmas holidays.
I pictured my aunt tinkering about in the kitchen, struggling to prepare a meal. I pictured my uncle sitting in his rocking chair, with his feet propped up on the coffee table. I could see my two young cousins in full snowsuits arguing about who got to ride down the hill first when they went tobogganing. I could practically smell the fresh aroma of chocolate coming from my aunt’s famous oatmeal cookies, accompanied with a large mug of steaming hot cocoa. I visualized the Christmas tree with the golden glass angel perched on top, and lights flashing all around it, giving me a strong sense of home.
However as I stretched out my muscles, I suddenly remembered I was not at my aunt’s house. In fact, I was very, very far away.
It was not Christmas, and I hadn’t seen my aunt in months. There was no shining angel sitting on the top of my tree, no flashing lights. Imagining the entire homely scene made me feel a thousand times lonelier.
Gradually, I opened my eyes, allowing them to adjust to the light streaming through the window. I tried not to picture Morgan’s face from the night before when I started to recall what had happened. I quickly realized I was sleeping in a bed completely external to me. I imprecisely remembered drifting off into sleep in Niall’s supportive arms while lying on the couch, my makeup and tears staining my face. Niall must have carried me to bed.
Everything after I’d sprinted away from my house seemed vague. Sluggishly, I remembered Niall hugging me, asking me what had happened while he carried me to the couch. He probably didn’t understand I single word I had said, as I was sobbing relatively loudly. He remained silent after I finally choked out an explanation.
I didn’t remember seeing any of the boys after I bombarded my way into Niall’s complex. If any were around I’d imagine they’d intelligently fled the room as quickly as they could. I remember Louis and Harry parading into the room, their laughs drastically cutting off after they sensed the emotional energy in the room. I recollected that Niall had quickly ushered them away with an ‘I’ll explain later’.
I knew being in Niall’s flat was practically the worst place for me to be. I knew it would infuriate Morgan further if she’d known I’d went running to Niall after our fight. I, however, hadn’t had many options. Without a doubt, I knew Morgan knew exactly where I was. I needed to leave as soon as my manners would permit.
I sat up in the all-too-comfortable bed. The room was practically the same size and shape as my own, however mine was remarkably tidier. I recognized one of Niall’s pairs of sweatpants slung over a chair in the far corner, confirming my suspicion that this was Niall’s room. Under normal circumstances, I would have smiled at how chivalrous and welcoming he had been, but I lacked the energy now.
The cool carpet greeted my feet as I slid gently off of the bed. I’d recognized my own sweatshirt lying on the floor, coming as a mystery to me as when I had taken it off. After pulling it on and grabbing my shoes, I could think of no other items that I’d frantically brought to Niall’s. Sighing, I ran my fingers through my tangled curls.
I wasn’t sure what my plan was when I left. I knew I wasn’t quite ready to face Morgan yet, and I knew a walk in the fine, crisp air would clear my head effortlessly. I figured I’d probably wander aimlessly for a while, but it was the only idea I could think of that would rid me of my emotional haze.
Timidly, I opened Niall’s bedroom door. I heard the muffled sound of voices coming from the kitchen, picking out Niall’s immediately. I knew convincing Niall to let me leave would be a challenge in itself. I still owed him a proper explanation. I knew I had to depart; with or without his permission.
“Good morning, Ness.” Louis said, breaking the silence from when I’d entered the kitchen.
“Morning,” I coughed out, hoarsely. I scanned my eyes quickly for my purse, finding it on the couch.
Niall quickly sat up from lying down on the couch once he heard me. “How are you?”
“Been better.” I said, not having enough liveliness to lie. I made my way over to my purse on the couch.
“Do ya want some breakfast?” he asked kindly, his eye brightening at the word.
“I’ll probably just pick something up from the coffee shop or something.” I said, stumbling my way through the sentence.
“You’re leaving?” Niall asked, the delight flooding from his face. He stood up from the couch abruptly.
I grabbed my purse by the strap and flung it over my shoulder. “Niall, I um—”
“You can’t leave, Ness.” he stated inflexibly, taking a few steps closer to me.
“Why not?” I didn’t mean for the words to sound as harsh as they did.
Niall facial expression changed into shock at my sudden cold statement. “I can’t let you go and roam the streets by yourself,” he said, nervously fumbling out syllables.
“Who said I was going to do that?” I felt the lie surge off the tip of my tongue; I knew he saw through it immediately.
I saw his eyebrows rise, making me want to go over and cuddle with him for days on end. “Are you going straight home to talk to Morgan?”
I bowed my head to avoid looking at him directly, chewing my bottom lip. “Not really.”
“Then you have to stay here.” Niall plead, as he moved a few inches closer.
I lifted my head aversely, looking him straight in the eyes. “Niall, I know this city better than anything else. It’s ridiculous for you to be worrying about me.”
Niall searched my face for any signs or changes in emotion. I felt my nose burn from the oncoming tears and the draft leaking through the window. Suddenly he grasped my hand and pulled me down the hall and into his bedroom. He quietly shut the door, anxiously running his long fingers through his hair. He sighed, his indigo eyes boring into mine. “Ness, you can’t leave.”
I clamped my eyes shut, practically drowning in my sea of emotions. I wished he would understand the circumstances of the situation; however I was too distraught to explain it. Locking eyes with him, my breath came out in one big gust. “I can’t, Niall. Morgan knows I’m here.”
“Why does that matter?” he asked, his arms folding across his thin chest.
I rubbed my temples in frustration. Explaining this to him without feeling the despair and wild emotions from last night would be practically impossible. “You’re the reason she kicked me out.”
Suddenly, Niall’s face froze into a frown of concern. He dropped his arms from his stomach, attempting to figure out what to say. After a long silence, he finally asked, “What happened after I dropped you off last night? You kind of told me, but I didn’t understand much.” He looked up at me, nervously through his eyelashes.
“After I sprinted back into my apartment,” I began, my hands beginning to shake. “I went inside and I found her sitting on the couch, dressed up and ready to go to the show. The first thing she asked me was how you were.”
“Why’d she ask how I—”
I couldn’t even let him finish. I knew I had to finish retelling the night’s events before I crumbled. I was already desperately trying to hold back tears, as I visualized Morgan’s glare in my mind. “I kept trying to apologize but she was mocking me, and being sarcastic. Then she just lost it on me, yelling about how she never stood against me spending time with you because she could tell you were good for me.”
I felt a warm tear coast its way down my rosy cheek. “I was trapped in silence by that point, and then she accused me of forgetting what we’ve been through because of you. I tried explaining what happened and apologizing again but she kicked me out, and I just ran.”
My hands clawed at my eyes, trying to trap the tears from spilling out anymore.
I saw Niall’s face droop to even greater sadness. He slumped down on his bed, placing his head in his hands. “It’s all my goddamn fault.”
“No, of course not Niall!” I said, my head snapping up instantly. I refused to let him take the blame for my terrible mistake. “I’m the one who forgot!”
“But I’m the reason why you forgot and I—”
“Niall, stop!” I said, the volume of my voice rising to practically a shout. Niall shot me a scared expression, snapping me back to my original self. I was blowing up at the complete wrong person. “I’m sorry, it’s just...”
“It’s okay, you had a rough night.” Niall said immediately. He smiled at me, but I couldn’t help but notice it didn’t reach his eyes.
I tried to smile, only managing to raise the left side of my lips.
Niall thrust himself off of the bed, closing the distance between us in a moment. I felt my face shy away from his, as I suddenly became focused on the carpet. His hand cupped my chin, raising my head to make eye contact.
“Please stay, Ness.” He was practically begging now, emotion drowning his every word.
I still couldn’t meet his eyes, so I stared at his chin instead. “Niall, I can’t.”
Truth was I never wanted to leave. I would much rather be with Niall then alienate myself by roaming the streets of Toronto alone. But if I was keen on receiving Morgan’s forgiveness, I wasn’t given much choice.
He seemed to know what I was thinking, before I did myself. “What would Morgan say about you walking around Toronto by yourself?” He said as I stared at him silently. “She’d never want you to get hurt, no matter how angry she is with you.”
In my heart, I knew it was true. Morgan would never want me to walk the streets alone, no matter what circumstances. However my logic fought with me; I knew Morgan would be absolutely enraged of the fact I’d spent another day with Niall, the one who had ‘stolen’ my attention in the first place. I wasn’t sure if I could take the risk.
I opened my mouth to verbalize my opinion, but Niall beat me to it, “For me, please?”
For him. That phrase affected me so much deeper than anyone could have thought. Nothing I should be doing after the horrid fight with Morgan, should be ‘for Niall’. I should be working on receiving her forgiveness, and focusing on things catered to her. Staying with Niall would take me a mile back on the road to forgiveness. But I only had so much will power.
I felt my eyes travel up from his chin to looking directly into his baby blues. I felt my heart beating so loud, I wondered if it was audible.
I thought about what would happen if I walked out of Niall’s flat right at that very moment. As cliché as it sounds, I was extremely afraid to lose him. I’d already almost done so, and I was not prepared to do it again. I knew what it felt like to be without him, and I wasn’t sure if I could handle it again.
Whether I was keen on the idea or not, I was staying. Niall had overpowered my logic, once again.
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OKAY so im not editing this chapter because it is so late and I have tooo much homework but I really wanted to get a chapter out to you guysss<3 I reached 1,000 votes on wattpad today and im ecstatic so thank you all for contributing:)!! Sorry if there is mistakes, you guys all rock.