[ the final chapter ]
Sam's sudden outburst caught me off guard. Of course I was curious on what he was about to say he would tell me but...
Do I want to know?
Dumbfounded from the sudden sentence is what I am.
A little speechless at a sense... I mean the past is the past, and we may want to learn from it sometimes but other times it's better to leave things there.
"Sam, I don't think I have to know. It's okay, seriously."
He waves me off, "No, I feel like I have been carrying this heavy burden on my back. I don't know, please just listen and be open minded okay?"
I nod, but I couldn't help to have regret slowly trace the rims of my brain.
"So... I liked you. And before you say anything more-! I don't at the moment so don't take things the wrong way," He awkwardly laughs.
I smile. Relief washes over me. I was on the edge considering whether to ask him if he still did or not.
"Look, I wanted you for myself but then shit went down, I got injured and things were a mess... and while I was sleeping one night at the hospital, I had this dream of you being happy. With Colby."
He continues, inhaling sharply, "You guys were laughing together as if you hadn't laughed together in years. But you guys were a couple in my dream. Both of you were in a state of euphoria because you both were so madly in love with each other. And I was off in the parking lot, jealous that you both found happiness within each other. Jealous and envious as I was, I began to ball my eyes out by seeing you two happy. It made me feel emotional..."
"I felt uncomfortable seeing you two as a couple as well. Especially as you and I used to have something, and you instead went to my best friend. I realize it's what the world wanted but it just hurt as I wished I could have what you guys had in the dream...then something about elephants and kpop singers popped up into the dream but that's besides the point."
He laughs, "When I woke up, I realized however that I liked seeing you happy and that was what mattered. I held off telling Ellie for that reason, because I rather see you guys just solve out your problems yourselves. I didn't really want to be the one that just caused more problems... when in the end I did but still—!"
"That's why I bit my tongue. I'm now genuinely glad you're making my best friend become a more mindful, caring and optimistic person. Not that he wasn't before, but now he's always in this love struck and ecstatic state or mood that's just contagious."
I giggle, "Sam... I thank you then. If you're happy I'm happy, for real. Just what made you actually tell Ellie? Did I provoke you by not attending the day of the lawsuit? Please tell me you can forgive me on making the decision I did... I'm still sorry. Seriously."
Sam sighs, shoving his hands in his pockets, "Well, actually not really. Okay, I had another dream the night before the lawsuit. It was a continuation of the one I just told you. It was after the kpop singers were done singing to the elephant but anyways, I was in the parking lot and suddenly I saw Ellie come out of the elevator with tears. And the idiot I was, in the dream, asked her why she was crying and she told me because it was because of you guys which was like, go figure. So in short, when I woke up I had another epiphany."
"Now keep in mind, my intentions at the time are not what I would have done now. I came to the conclusion that you two just hadn't solved your problems, you both still had some deep feelings for each other and Ellie is just going to end up with heartbreak if she found out when it was too late. "Late" meaning he would full on be cheating on her and she'd literally become the side chick instead of the main chick. So when I was at court getting ready and she was holding his hand, I couldn't stop but think that he just didn't want to hold hers anymore. He looked uneasy, and so if he couldn't even hold her hand while looking comfortable, what is the point in holding her hand at all?"
"Okay, what are you trying to say about this whole hand holding thing?" I ask.
"I'm saying it's like their relationship. He gets into the relationship but doesn't even have true feelings for his partner. He could've just ended it but he didn't. So what was the point in having it? Like what was the point in holding her hand?"
"I understand... it's really my fault because I just never wanted to accept my feelings for him. Kinda sucked when you liked your rival," I reply, crossing my arms.
"Right, so I guess because you two wouldn't just admit it to each other I took matters into my own hands. Especially after we lost, I just lost my shit. My parents were just so disappointed, it made me furious that we lost. I began to think of ways on how we could have maybe won and I just resorted back to you. When you showed up, I guess the wave of emotions rushed out of my mouth and spilled all the secrets that I was unwillingly keeping. I'm sorry, Ash."
I smile lightly, pulling him into a hug.
"It's alright, thanks for telling me, Sammy."
He hugs back, sighing, "Yeah of course, I just wanted to get this burden inside me out so you know what I was thinking and why. I don't like ignoring you, I want to still be one of your friends. Lately, we just really drifted."
We pull away and I say, "I know, but hey we are neighbors. Even if we were to drift apart, we'd still see each other often. For instance, right now."
"Haha right."
"Oh crap, I gotta go," I abruptly say, remembering Colby waiting in the car in the parking lot. "Uh, Colby and I are about to go shopping, wanna come?" I ask him.
"Sure, y'all planning to do anything cool today?"
"Eh... it's just shopping for school supplies and shit," I reply blandly.
"Well, I doubt that's the only thing we're going to do today..." he smirks.
"Oh god, what do you have in mind."
/////
"You think he's in the fucking baby stroller section again?"
"Wouldn't be surprised, we were there last time for an overnight video."
"Ha, ya I know. You didn't check here already?"
"Nah, thought he'd be smarter than that but I guess he might of done some reverse reverse psychology..."
We are playing hide and seek in target, in case you were wondering.
That was Sam's brilliant idea.
"Help me put these boxes aside," Sam whispers, stealthily tiptoeing into the section.
"Why are you tiptoeing dude," I flat out say, loudly.
"Ashlyn SHUT UP," Sam whisper yells.
I roll my eyes, "Even if he hears us, where is he going to run to, he's won and trapped by boxes."
"OH YAY I WON!" A random voice exclaims behind the baby stroller boxes. The box opens as if it were a sliding door and out springs Colby.
"I knew he was here, I told ya," I beam, folding my arms with pride.
"Reverse reverse psychology..." Sam mumbles.
"I'm amazing alone guys, I could do an overnight challenge by myself!" Colby proudly states.
"Ahuh, right on big boy with your big boy pants," I tease.
Colby rolls his eyes and slings an arm around me, "Whatever Neil, I can just take these big boy pants right off if that's what you're asking?"
I shimmy out of his grip and silence him, "Uh no. We are at Target! Actually that doesn't matter just don't take off your pants."
He smirks, "Cmon babe, but would you really mind-"
"UM I WOULD," Sam raises his hand straight in the air.
We both laugh at him, apologizing for our unholy conversation.
"I hate being third wheel okay imma go hang out with Aaron because he doesn't have a girlfriend," Sam shutters, leaving us.
"You need a ride to his house?" Colby chuckles, holding my hand as we walk out of the aisle.
"Nah, Aaron is actually like at the store across from us so I'm just going to walk over to him, he texted me ha, that's how I know."
Colby and I nod, "Aight we'll see you at the apartments later then," I say, waving farewell.
"Peace," Sam walks out and Colby and I are left.
The two of us.
"Hey Ashlyn, you wanna just go now?" Colby asks, tugging my hand to leave.
"Sure, what do you want to do?"
He drags me out the store, "What time is it right now?"
"Uh, it's seven right now," I reply, checking my phone.
Colby looks back and smiles brightly at me.
"Alright, we got one hour Neil!"
I look at him with a puzzling expression, "One hour for what?"
We arrive at the car and he unlocks the car for us both to get in.
I buckle my seat belt and Colby speeds out the parking lot.
"Not for what, but until what will happen," He grins, mischievously.
"What's happening?" I ask, smacking him on the arm.
"Babe, the sunset!"
I laugh while rolling my eyes, "Why are you so cheesy."
"I know how much you love sunsets, c'mon let's go romance it up Neil," He smirks, putting an arm around me.
I nod, "Ah, how do you know about my love for sunsets?"
He smiles, "Neil, I just know you."
/////
We arrived at the mountain again, we have been there so often now, it just has become our spot.
Colby walked me up there and held my hand the entire way, whispering past times we have had over the summer.
Reminiscing the memories that we created.
He lead me to the same spot we have always come to. The first time we took a genuinely happy picture, and when we watched the night sky talking about random things after our plans for the movies got foiled.
That was stressful... haha and it was stressful being in that closet in the hospital with him too.
Time flew by, now that I think about it.
I remember wanting to perish into nonexistence because of how slow time was moving.
But now I realize that life's a roller coaster for more than two reasons.
Yeah, there's ups and downs.
It can be scary for some people, and you know that once you're strapped into that seat, there's no way out.
Can't tell the operator to stop the ride, you can't unbuckle that seat belt and back down.
It's not going to happen.
However, no matter how scared you are, maybe one day you'll overcome the phobia and enjoy the ride.
The ride is fast.
It's faster than you might realize.
When your scared, you just want to get off so bad that your mind thinks it's too slow, too long and arduous...
but no, it really isn't.
Do you ever go at the end of a ride and say... "that's it?"
The roller coaster may be scary, it may be long, but you'll enjoy it sooner or later... if not, maybe this analogy isn't for you...
But what I'm trying to say is-
"Ash?"
I snap my attention back towards Colby, the sun was setting before our eyes and it was beautiful.
"Woah... sorry I was just lost in my thoughts," I quietly say, wrapping my arms tight around his waist.
"You think too much," He chuckles, securely tightening his grip around my shoulder.
"I know, it's a blessing and a curse," I giggle.
He immerses himself in the shades and hues of the sky.
Colby admires the sight above and before him. "Pink, orange, yellow, some blues... I understand your love for sunsets."
I nod, "It's the world's colors... I can't help to love every single sunset I see."
He nods, "Hey, can I be corny and cliche for a quick second."
I cringe, "Eeh, how corny and cliche do you plan to be? You know I strongly dislike the corny, cliche, cringey, cheesy, and all those bad C words."
He laughs, "Yes, I know."
"Alright what is it Brock?"
"I feel like I can't say it because the moment totally just left, it's ruined now. Never mind."
I whine, smacking his chest, "Noooo, babe I wanna know now."
"Eh.."
"Tell me Brock."
"But ehhh..."
"COLBY!"
"FINE. I enjoy every single sunset I see too, but only with you," He stammers.
I crinkle my nose, "Ooo yeah that was bad."
"NEIL! I TOLD YOU!"
I raise my arms in surrender, "I'm sorry I'm just saying!"
He pushes me away and crosses his arms like a little cute kid. "You wanted me to say it anyways so I did!"
I smile widely at his immature ways, "Cooolberity, ma asperity!"
"Nope. Not gunna talk to you," He turns his back on me.
I hug his back tightly, "Sir Cole Roberto Brockoli!"
He turns his head at me with an eyebrow raised.
I laugh uncontrollably, gripping onto his arms as his body now faces me again.
"You done now?" He asks, amused.
"Never," I giggle, going on my tiptoes to give him a kiss.
He smiles into the kiss and grabs my waist, boosting me into the air.
I break apart to laugh again, "Colby Brockosauras!"
Colby spins us around, laughing with me. "What is up with you and nicknames?"
"Baby I can make about millions just for you," I giggle wrapping my arms around his neck as he lowers me.
"Better only be me," He coos, holding me tightly into a hug.
I sheepishly grin widely, burying my face into his strong shoulder.
"That was cheesy again," I smirk.
"Oh shut up Neil," He frowns.
I kiss his cheek but laugh again into his skin as he said that.
We spent the rest of the night laughing while going to our favorite places.
As long as his hand was in mine, there was nothing that could stop us really.
If we weren't rivals before, he probably would have been my best friend because of how alike we are.
But if I learned anything from friendship, it doesn't really matter if you're alike or not. The reason why Ellie and I were so compatible was because we understood each other.
Yet she was my complete opposite, we both knew we somehow fit together. Ellie would always take my feelings in account and if maybe I just told her how I was really feeling, I wouldn't have had to be pissed off at her the whole entire summer.
I remember hating her for something she didn't even know of.
I liked- loved her boyfriend for how long?
And she didn't even know.
Maybe Sam exposing Colby and I was for the better, because if he didn't do that, would I have really told her the reality to my feelings?
I honestly think I've learned a lot about myself, about other people, and the world.
You never really know what you have until it's gone.
Jealousy can get the best of you.
Taking action is how to get your ideas across.
Sometimes being truthful is how you solve problems.
Imagine if all characters in books were honest, the story would end pretty quickly right?
That would have been amazing for me, but you know there's always the risks of being too real.
Oh, the positives and negatives of being in love.
As Colby and I walked into our building, the only thing I could think of is how lucky I was that he moved into the apartment down the hall.
All the regrets and stupid decisions I made since he moved here lead me to this moment of pure happiness.
Love creeps up on you when you don't expect, and if things are meant to be, they'll happen.
What were the chances my rival ended up becoming my neighbor?
What were the chances I'd fall in love with my enemy since high school?
What were the chances we'd end up together?
Colby's been the one since the lunchroom's mess up.
I don't regret laughing at his mashed potatoes!
Colby notices my silent giggling and pokes my cheek.
He raises an eyebrow, "What're you laughing at?"
I smirk, "You."
"Me? What's so funny about me?"
I stop us in the middle of the hallway and cuddle myself into his body.
"Everything's funny now when it comes to you," I sigh, hugging him tighter.
He lays his head on top of mine, laughing, "I'm not sure if I should take offense to that or what, Neil."
I look up into his ocean blue eyes, staring at his beautiful pupils as he gazed down at me.
"It's funny how we met officially by you tripping and spilling mashed potatoes on yourself in the lunchroom," I giggle,
"And... how we ended up being with our rivals."
Colby chuckles, "Yeah, I used to hate you, Neil."
"I used to hate liking you, did you know?" I reply, squeezing my eyes shut in embarrassment.
He presses his lips on mine lightly in a sensual kiss.
I feel the butterflies that swarmed the first time he kissed me.
Colby pulls away and caresses my cheek in his hand.
He whispers, "I love you, my rival."
"I love you too, rival."
I love liking my rival.