Chapter 40
My ears perked up when I heard the loud siren of the ambulance. The next few minutes were a complete blur and before I knew it, Tyler was torn away from me.
I could feel all eyes on me as I was practically pulled out of the building, walking slowly behind Tyler who had expertly been lifted onto a stretcher.
The police were busy trying to evacuate everybody off Gabriel's front lawn rather than finding out who was behind this attack. They were failing though. As they sent people away, more and more began to gather after being informed of what had happened here at 27 Chapel Close.
I felt sick, I felt disgusted when the crowd pulled out their mobile phones and began to take pictures and record videos. This wasn't a show. This was real. Someone had been shot but all these people cared about was being the first one to deliver the story on Snapchat, get the most retweets on Twitter or have the highest number of likes and shares on Facebook because this was a rare event. In our town, these things didn't happen a lot did they? This was entertaining for them. It added some excitement into their normally dull and boring lives.
I wanted to scream. I wanted to shout. I needed to tell them all to stop pushing and shoving each other just to get a better view. I needed to tell them that what they were doing was wrong. Completely wrong. But I couldn't. It was impossible for me to utter one word, never mind form a complete sentence. I didn't have the energy to raise my voice. My throat burned and my mouth felt parched. Right now, it seemed to me like I would never be able to say a word again.
I was consumed by one overwhelming emotion.
Fear.
I had never been so scared before. There was a terrible feeling building in the pit of my stomach and it wouldn't leave me alone. It ripped and tore at my insides. Instead of ceasing to exist, it kept growing and exacerbated with every second ticking by. It was tormenting me.
A thick piece of fabric was thrown over my shoulders but I didn't look up to acknowledge who it was. I hadn't noticed how cold and dark it had become until now. I didn't even care.
My eyes remained on one person. Tyler was placed into the back of the ambulance and I climbed inside with him. I would stay right next to him throughout it all. After all, we promised to start this new year together and I wasn't one to break a promise. Neither was he. We would face this together and make it through, strengthening our relationship forevermore.
I stayed absolutely silent and still on the quick journey to the hospital which actually felt like hours. The paramedics shouted things to each other and tried to do whatever they could to help Tyler until we reached the care of a professional doctor. I didn't allow them to move my hand from Tyler's and brushed my thumb across his open palm, selfishly trying to calm my nerves rather than comforting him.
He probably didn't even know that I was there. The thought of that stung. It stung incredibly. In the most vulnerable, the most defenceless place. The place that was the easiest target. After everything with Jason, all the heartbreak, which thinking back on was nothing compared to this, I had began to build up walls and cage my heart from having to face that again. But Tyler broke those walls down before they had barely gone up, and he crawled into my life. No, he walked right into it. He made space for himself inside my heart and unlike with Jason, it was a space that would always remain his and would only expand with time, not diminish.
I hated myself. I should never have argued with Tyler. Ever. I should have made the most of every single moment because you never really know when someone can be taken away from you. And when they are, it is the most painful thing in the entire world. Nothing could hurt more.
Stop. He isn't being taken away from you. Have faith, my mind kept repeating to me. I subconsciously nodded my head and tightened my grip on Tyler's hand.
Just then, the ambulance stopped and the back doors were opened, sending in a gust of chilly air. A shiver tickled my spine and when Tyler was moved away from me, I rubbed my hands together to try and warm myself up. A hand was held out to assist me in getting out and I took it, trying my best to form a smile for the kind paramedic.
I followed them all inside, picking up pace when I failed to keep up with the fast nurses and paramedics. I managed to catch a glance of the doctor who would be heading this operation until he disappeared into a room with everyone else, including Tyler.
It hadn't been long at all when Heidi, Alec, Keith, Laura and Kyle sprinted inside, their gaze automatically glueing to me. I noticed somebody else trailing behind slowly, looking totally defeated. It was Ms. Lawson. Her eyes were bloodshot, probably from crying and she was hunched over, trying to hide her state from us. On seeing this, the tears began to spill from my eyes again. Or maybe they had never even stopped. I didn't know.
Everyone rushed over to me but for the first time, I pulled myself together a little and headed away from them, right in the direction of Tyler's mum. My arms automatically reached out for her and I enveloped her in my embrace. "He's going to be okay," I sniffled, and my own voice sounded so foreign to me. Here I was, reassuring a mother whose child had been shot when I didn't believe the words leaving my mouth myself. How could she possibly believe them?
She didn't reply. Instead, she let out all her cries and sobs as I caressed her back soothingly.
-
My back was leaning against the cushioned seat in the hospital and my eyes were closed as I prayed for Tyler's wellbeing. By now, my parents had also arrived but I hadn't spoken a word to them or anyone for that matter.
A warm hand rested on my shoulder and I flinched since it was so unexpected. My eyes shot open and I saw Laura's face before me. If she was here to taunt me, I really didn't want to know and wouldn't be able to endure it. I didn't want to end up resorting to violence but if she made a bitter remark, I wouldn't have any control over my actions.
"Mum," Kyle walked over before she could speak and pushed her hand away. "I'm sure Arissa doesn't want to hear how her son would never have landed here," he used quotation marks to mock her, "so please don't try and talk to her."
Laura wasn't one to give up though. I sighed as she opened her mouth to speak again. She sat down next to me and placed her hand on my back, "you may not like me, but I'm not that cold-hearted," she said. "I just wanted to say not to worry. If anyone can survive something like this, it's Tyler," she explained and I smiled a little. I was surprised. I never expected her to console me or genuinely end up complimenting Tyler in some weird way.
My smile faltered when I saw Dr. Tristan Smith quietly walk out of the room I had been extremely impatient to enter. At one point, my angst and trepidation had forced me to disturb them and I had caught a small glimpse of Tyler. All I remembered seeing was red. Lots of red.
Keith rushed to him and the rest of us were quick to follow. We nervously waited for the doctor's verdict. I felt helpless; on one hand I wanted to stay strong and listen to what he had to say but on the other, I wanted to crawl under a rock and remain there forever. Or at least until Tyler came to get me himself, in full health.
"Mr. Lawson," he said to Keith, and in that moment I wondered why Kirsty had never changed back to her maiden name. "If I could have a moment to speak to you in private—"
"No!" I argued. "Please. Say whatever you need to say infront of us, we'll find out sooner or later anyway," my voice sounded hoarse.
He looked very unsure but Keith nodded his head, giving him permission to speak before me and everyone else. "Well," he began very confidently, unlike me who was breaking down on the inside. I wondered how they did it. How they managed to hide their emotion in any circumstance. Hopefully, this time it would mean that he was about to deliver positive news.
"We have examined Mr. Lawson's body, finding the entry wound and exit wound caused by the bullet. Knowing the calibre of the gun and bullet could significantly assist us in determining to what extent damage may have been caused," he gestured with his hands with every word he spoke. "We managed to stop the external bleeding as well as we could without causing further damage, however, since abdominal injuries are usually associated with a high incidence of internal injury, it is very likely that Tyler may have perforated an organ."
I felt my stomach drop. Gulping, I was going to ask what would happen next but he began to talk anyway.
"He will be required to undertake a laparoscopy and from there only, will we properly be able to identify any problems and diagnose him before beginning treatment."
"What's a laparoscopy?" Heidi asked.
"And does that mean he'll be okay? He can be treated?" I followed up her question with a couple of my own.
He answered Heidi and then me. "A laparoscopy is when a small incision is made and a fibre-optic instrument is inserted through the abdominal wall to view the organs in the abdomen. It's the best way to locate any possible difficulties we might be facing."
He then turned to me, his expression fading as he rolled his lips inwardly and narrowed his eyes for a split second. "I don't want to give you, any of you, false hope and say everything will be fine. We do not even know what is happening within his body so it's too difficult to answer that question right now. But I assure you that I'll try my utmost to help him and as soon as we have the results, everything will become much clearer."
I tried to fight back my tears. I felt hopeless. I didn't have a great feeling about any of this; I had the worst one. One question plagued my entire body— mind, heart, soul, everything.
Would he survive?
As I started walking away, I heard him say, "I can't guarantee that he'll be back to full health, but I also won't say that there is no hope. Because there is, there certainly is."
-
"We should go home, we'll come back early morning when the test results are ready," Keith announced to the rest of us who were anxiously sat on the waiting seats.
I didn't want to go. I understood where he was coming from and all nine of us were definitely not allowed to stay here overnight but I couldn't leave and I didn't want to. I needed to stay here as long as Tyler remained here which hopefully wouldn't be long at all. "I'm going to stay," I said. There was no point in going home to rest because even if I left, it would be impossible for me to get a wink of sleep.
"But darling—" Mum started.
"Please Mum, I don't want to leave."
She glanced over at my Dad and I gave him a pleading look. I knew they were only looking out for me and I appreciated that immensely, but right now this is what I wanted to do. Be there for Tyler. He would do the same if the roles were reversed and even if that wasn't the case, I wouldn't leave him when he needed me the most.
"I'm staying too," Kirsty joined in. "She'll be okay here," she tried to persuade them for my benefit and I silently thanked her. They finally agreed to let me stay here and everybody left, although unwillingly. It was hospital policy though and a lot of people weren't permitted to stay at once. "You should try and get some sleep," she told me and I nodded my head lightly, taking a seat and pulling my knees up to my chest before closing my eyes.
-
I was stood in a small room.
It was dark here.
It was cold.
There was an odd smell in the room, and it grew a little stronger every time I took a few careful steps. It was absolutely pitch black as I tried to look for a light switch, or at least some source of light to bring me out of this seemingly inescapable darkness.
I called out names.
Tyler. Heidi. Mum. Dad. Drew.
Nobody heard me, or maybe they didn't want to reply. I felt confused. Where was I? How did I get here? How was I supposed to get out? Could I get out?
I found my way to something solid and as I dragged my hand across it, I realised it was a bare wall. Somewhat relieved, I continued to trace the whole room with my hand brushing across the wall, trying to find a door. Suddenly, I felt something wet make contact with my hand and I snatched it away. What was that?
I soon realised that I had just been going in circles— or squares. There was no door. There was no escape. I was trapped.
I screeched, hoping and praying for some help. Beads of sweat were beginning to form on my forehead and I could feel my body temperature rising as my fright grew. My heartbeat was erratic and uncontrolled, even when I stopped to take deep breaths it had no impact.
"Somebody help me!" I shouted but all I heard in response was the echo of my own petrified voice.
I slid down the wall, still wondering what the liquid on my hand was and trying to plan how I would get out of here. I got on my hands and knees and began to crawl around in case I found something helpful. When I knocked into something, my heart momentarily stopped beating. I squeezed my eyes shut and reached out for the object. My hand trailed up it until I found.. a hand. I held it up and once I let go, it fell back down with a thud.
"Oh my God!" I shouted, realisation dawning on me. I clambered around and finally stabled myself, standing upright. My fingers fiddled around and found a thin string hanging that I obviously hadn't come into contact with before. I tried to pull it but my nervousness had an effect on me, and I managed to let it slip from my fingers three times until I finally got a tight grip on it.
Forcefully, I pulled it downwards and the room lit up, one small bulb positioned in the centre of the ceiling.
I shrieked, tears misting my eyes up instantly as I placed my hands before my face. "No! Please!" I blubbered, shooting to the far end of the room.
There was a body on the ground in a pool of blood. However, the head belonging to it was lying a couple of centimetres away. I felt nauseous; I knew I was going to be sick once I began gagging and retching. I looked down at my shaking hand and saw that it had been painted in red.
It was Tyler's blood. And he was dead.
I turned myself away from him and closed my eyes. I couldn't look. I couldn't look. "Don't do this to me," I cried, rocking myself back and forth to stop this nightmare. It couldn't be a reality. No, my Tyler was alive. He had to be.
"Get up! Now! You can't leave me!" I bellowed, not even being able to face his bloodied, headless body.
"Arissa!" I heard a voice.
"No! He's gone!" I shouted.
I was shook violently time after time. All of a sudden, my eyes shot open and I saw Daniel towering above me, worry written over all of his features. I just stared into the distance, not acknowledging him. He might have even said something.
"Tyler. He's dead."
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