I was staring at my reflection in the mirror for the past twenty minutes. My eyes were red and puffy. My face worn out. I looked at my clothes that were out of place and then glanced at the bruises that were now starting to form on my body.
For a long time I haven't seen myself look so pitiful. So pathetic. I tried talking deep breaths in order to calm myself down but I failed. My knees buckled and I felt like I would faint.
I was physically harassed. I was almost raped. And now I feared Antonio even more than before. Now, I knew what he was capable of. And now I had to keep myself as far away from his as possible.
My eyes felt warm and I realized that I was sobbing. I tore my gaze away from the vanity mirror and shakily walked towards the bed. Without taking my clothes off I silently got into the bed. I pulled the comforters over me and placed my head on the pillows.
I wished that sleep would take me into it's embrace. That I would escape the nightmare. But it didn't. Not for a long time. And when it finally did. The nightmares only begun.
***
"What were you doing with, Dino today? " Amanda's sharp voice stopped my walk.
"What?"
"I saw him talking to you. Why were you guys talking?" She enlightened me.
My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Then the realisation hit me like a tornado. She saw us talking...today.
"I don't understand what's the problem, Amanda. We are best friends" I folded my arms together.
"Best friends? You haven't been talking to each other for the past three months, Gabriella. Why now?"
Oh, so she was this observant about it.
"We were just talking. There was nothing between us" I muttered. I felt sick because of the lie that escaped my mouth. Dino and I have kissed one week ago. And today we had to talk about it. I felt horrible for giving onto the kiss. He was drunk.
"I don't believe you" She hissed.
"Just because you guys fought doesn't mean that he is cheating on you" I sneered back.
Her eyed widened in shock.
"How did you know that we fought?" She stuttered.
"I-I" stuttering I turned my head away.
"He told you" She told herself.
"He was drunk!" I was quick to step up for him.
"Drunk? Why the hell was he drunk?" She exclaimed in anger.
"I don't know, Amanda. He was very sad about the fight. He wanted to drown his sorrows" I tried to reason.
"Then why did he come to you?" She questioned angrily.
"Out of all people, Gabriella. Why you? He could have came to me. Don't try to lie to me! What did he want?"
"There was nothing between us" I muttered brokenly.
"Of course there wasn't" She huffed.
"Dino would never even like someone like you. Why would he pay attention to a dull and ugly child like you when he has a girlfriend like me. You'd never have a chance with him."
The words hurt. They hurt because I knew they were true. He would never pick me over her. She was his everything. While I had become nothing. My eyes got blurry.
"I wouldn't" I agreed. I wouldn't tell her the truth. It would break their relationship. And Dino without Amanda would be broken.
"Can't believe I thought there was something between him and you. I must have really lost my mind. Look at yourself. Disgusting child." She laughed to herself.
My fists clenched in anger. I turned around to leave when she caught my arm. My eyes widened.
"Where do you think your going? This isn't over yet. I need you to stay the hell away from Dino. He is mine. And if I find out that you have been even thinking about him I won't hesitate to hurt you" She sneered.
Calmness, Gabriella. Calmness.
She laughed at my broken expression and continued to throw words at me. I don't remember what really happened to me at the moment. But all this year's of self control seemed to dissappear.
"Dino kissed me! He came to my room and we kissed!" I shouted in anger.
Her eyes widnend in shock as she stopped her words. I glared at her direction and turned around to leave when I caught the eyes of Dino himself.
***
My hands reached my chest instinctively as I tried to breath. The hot tears blinded my vision as I felt like I was burning.
No, no. Not the nightmares again. Not this again.
I felt too hot. I couldn't breath because of the lack of air in my room. Or my body. I shakily got out of the bed and opened the window. The cool night air hit me like a truck.
I tried calming myself down. After I manged I slowly sat back on the bed.
"She is sleeping" Antonio's distant voice said causing my eyes to widen in fear. Antonio was awake. Nothing had happened to him. I felt my body shaking in fear.
"What happened to you?" Christopher asked.
"Nothing. I hit my head." He answered calmly. I felt my shoulders move down when he said it. But then the relief turned into horror. He had once again covered for me. And this time I would have to pay for it.
"Hit your head? How?" I could almost see Christopher fold his arms together. My heart was beating faster than ever.
"I stumbled and fell."Antonio explained further. It was hard to imagine a man like Antonio stumbling and falling.
I blocked the rest of their conversation. My body was burning and I still had no air to breath even though the windows were all open.
I slid back into the bed and closed my eyes. I wanted home. I just wanted this to be all a nightmare. I wanted to be in my brothers arms. I wanted him to tell me that it's going to be okay. I just wanted to hear his voice.
I pushed my head into the pillow and screamed in anger. My muffled scream wasn't heard even to my own ears. I hit the bed a couple of times.
I pulled the covers off me. I lay with my gaze towards the ceiling. What was my fault? Why was I deserving this kind of a fate?.
Soon sleep took me into it's embrace for another nightmare yet to come.