Bibi POV: (2 years later)
I lay on the beach towel listening to the waves. The sound so calming yet so riveting. Namjoon walks over, "Why don't you get in the water with the others?". I raise one finger and point to my hair and another then point to me, "Ya girl not tryna drown today or kill her curls". I get up and stretch, dusting off stray sand particles. Namjoon raises an eyebrow, "You can't swim? But i thought you loved water". I look over to him, "I do but I was just never taught how to swim. Plus there was one time when I was 6 or 7 and I left the kiddie pool to go swim with the big kids . I took my floaty cuz ya girls smart, but when I jumped in, I had mistakenly went to the 10ft area and sank through my floaty". He looked worried, "What happened". I shrug, "My brother saw me under the water and put me on his back and took me out the water". I glanced at the water, watching hobi and V fight over a floaty, "I remember how it looked under the surface. It was beautiful. Instead of being traumatized it made me determined to learn. Sadly all I know is how to hold my breath and do the frog and dolphin." Namjoon stood up and grabbed my arm, "Let's go. You're learning how to swim". Me being a shrimp, I had no choice but to go with him.
We waded out to about hip depth for him and stomach depth for me. He held is arms out parallel in the water, "Lay across my arms and slightly hold your breath". "I will not let you sink, just trust me and your body will go into instinct". I looked at him and then looked at the water, " I swear to god if i end lookin like a blow fish". He laughed and kept his arms out. I laid across his arms and breathed in slightly feeling the warm water on my neck and back. I lifted my legs and cringed my body expecting to sink. "Relax I'm still right here. Release your breath and breathe normally." I let out a shaky sigh and slowly let myself sink into namjoons arms. I look up at him worriedly and then at the sky. I listen as the water flows in and out of my ears, and the boys laughter and splashes become muffled. I close my eyes and picture I'm alone. Floating aimlessly across the water. The water is clear enough to see the fish swimming beneath the surface. I see moon jellyfish bouncing across the water. Everything is peaceful. I open my eyes to see namjoon a little aways from me. I stand up and pull him out further, "I want to go underneath." I say with excitement. He stops me, "Are you sure you're ready for that, i mean you just learned how to float. I still don't know if you can even hold your breath correctly-" I stop him, "I want to see what's underneath. I swim fairly well underwater, I just suck at keeping myself above the water. Plus it's not like you're gonna let me drown right?" He sighs and shakes his head, "Alright but I'm not letting go of your hand". I jump splashing some water on him. "LETS GO!!"
Joon POV:
I let Bibi pull me out towards the deeper parts of the water until My feet are almost not touching the sand. I wrap her arms around my neck, "Let's see how well you can hold your breath. Don't let go." She nods and I feel her breath in and out before holding her breath. I go under the water until I see the edge of the sand drop off. I swim out a few feet and stop. I look over to see Bibi holding on to me tightly without her eyes even open. If I could sigh I would. I pull her around to face me and tap her head to open her eyes. She hesitates and looks around us seeing nothing but water. I can see the worried look on her face and almost laugh. I point to the drop off to show her we're not too far out. She relaxes and looks at me. I point to a lone fish swimming by and watch her face light up. I release her arms off my neck and hold her hand. We swim out a little bit more and look at the empty ocean. I look over at bibi and see her in awe. Her usually tightly coiled hair was now flowing lightly around her face. Her brown skin glowin as the sun kissed it under the water. Her face curiously gazing into the deep water, wondering if anything would come out. She looks amazing, as if she's at home. Bibi let's go of my hand and hesitantly swims away from me. Her swimming is like a mermaid. Hands to her side and feet together. She smiles at me and grabs my hand. She mouths the words 'Thank you' and hugs me. I smile, I love seeing her happy. But of course she'll never know that. I pull us up to the surface and take a deep breath. Bibi holds onto my shoulder and shakes her hair, "That was so amazing. Ya did you see how quiet everything looked. It was everything was in slow motion oh my god. And the tiny fish swam by like we wasn't even there. Oh sweet Jesus i can't breath". She breathes heavily. I laugh and swim us back to shore. The boys are sitting down eating snacks and sleeping i lay down face first across my towel as Bibi sits beside me on hers. Hoseok walks over holding two cans of sprite and hands them to us, "Wow Bibi your hair looks pretty when it's wet. How'd you like the water?" He sits beside her and hands her a towel. "Oh Really, Watch when it drys my hair will look short. And the water was so pretty". He laughs and places the towel across my back. Taking a sip of his drink before laying down. Shortly after we hear short deep breaths coming from bibi, as she drifts off to sleep. "She's beautiful."Hoseok says nonchalantly while taking another sip. Suga tiredly strides over, "She really is. It's amazing how much she's grown with us in this short time. Her personality compliments us so much. It feels even more like family with her around."
I look over at Bimil and see how rapidly her hair has started to shrunk. I pull out a jar of coconut oil out of her bag and rub a small wad between my palms. Hoseok pulls her onto my lap as i run the oil thoroughly through her thick curls. Completing the routine she has burrowed into all of our heads. "I've been reading the comments recently. On a few of out tv appearances, and there are quite a few people that ship her with some of the members" ,Suga laughs showing his gummy smile, "Especially between is three". I look over at him confused, "Why us three?" He shrugs, "I guess because we're the ones she shows a liking to recently i don't know. Fan girls don't need reasons to ship who they want. They just do it." He pulls out his phone, "I've even read some fan fiction on us. Some of them have a good story line, but others are just reasons to put 'smut' as they call it in our relationship." Hoseok moved closer to get a good look, while i translated an English one for them. It was a Bibi x Me fanfic, where our group was a well known mafia in Seoul, and Bibi had begun helping us through a sort of witness protection program thing. The story made her seem like a badass but had exaggerated stereotypes about her. I swiped to one with her and hoseok where we had adopted her and each had fallen in love with some random thing about her. The last one was her and yoongi. Bibi was apart of an all foreigner girl group with one Korean called 4reign. Basically our group and theirs fell in love with each other ending with suga and Bibi having twins, named Daejoon and Yoonhee. Hoseok scoffed, "Why does his story end so sweetly? I bet we'd make cuter kids anyway." Yoongi laughed in a teasing manner, "You just mad that we even made it to the final base and you didn't". Hoseok pouted and stuck his tongue out. "Yah please. As if y'all could get with her like that in real life. If anybody has a chance it's me. Plus our kids would be adorable and cute lil dimples" ,I snarked at them causing us to go into a small argument over who's children are cuter. It wasn't long before Seokjin stood up and trough an empty soda can at us, "Will y'all shut up? If anybody's kids would look good it'd be mine. They're automatically worldwide cuties." We groaned in unison at the overly self-confident elder.
~~Time skip~~
Bibi POV:
The boys and I were all in the living room watching 'Scarlet Heart: Ryeo'. We were really into it when there was a knock at the door. I got up and toddled towards it, "Just a minute", I called out before opening it. "Ah, Ajhussi. What is this? What are you doing here on your day off?" ,I smiled at him. He looked somber as he stared at me, "Momo there's some bad news I need to tell you. May I come in?" My heart sunk as i heard the words 'bad news'. A hundred thoughts raced across my mind as I began to think the unthinkable. "Of course". I closed the door and we sat a the kitchen table. I grabbed a bottle of soju and some banana milk out of the refrigerator and sat down in front of him. "Whats the bad news? Am I going to have to leave the group now?" ,I questioned, afraid of his answer. "No Momo I'm afraid it's something even more dire than that. Do you remember telling me about your best friend Taj?" ,He asked while taking a swig of his beer. "Yes did something happen? Is he ok? Did something happen to his daughter? Is she ok?" I stood at attention awaiting his answer. Taj was my Best friend and first boyfriend back when I started high school in America. We had a lot of ups and downs, but never gave up on our friendship. If anything had happened I-
"Momo are you listening?"
I looked at Ajhussi as he seemed to be holding back tears.
"Taj he... He died. He killed himself."
The world stopped.
My mind went blank and the words of comfort Ajhussi was telling me began to muffle. Taj couldn't die. He wouldn't die. He was going to see my concert. We were gonna watch his daughter Kida grow up together. I would be the cool aunt, and he'd be the strict but fun dad. I was going to teach him Korean and he was gonna teach me Arabic. I felt pain in my chest as my heart began to beat as fast as tornado winds. I started hyperventilating. My knees began to buckle. He was gone. My best friend, my first love, my first time. The boys came in after hearing the commotion. Hobi and Namjoon were trying to talk to me but I couldn't hear. My ears were ringing. I was hot. I was angry. I was broken. Time slowed down as i let out the most painful cry I've ever made. My knees finally gave out and I could feel myself fall. "NO HE CANT BE DEAD. How can they just take him away like that? He had a daughter. He had a family. He was a person. Aniya!!!" I began to breakdown. Ajhussi and Joon ran to my side trying to calm me down. But i was too far gone. I was angry. I felt defeated. I felt betrayal. How could just leave me like this? How could he leave his daughter? I wanted to hate him. I wanted to feel hatred for him. But i couldn't. I understood what he went through. I just couldn't understand.... anything. I was frustrated. Could i have stopped him? I was going to check on him after we finished the show, should i have called before? Should i have stayed in America with him? Should i have brought him with me? Could i turn back time?
Should i...?
Could i...?
Would i...?
Would he be alive if i had done anything?
I felt arms wrap around me. Jimin was holding me and rocking me, "Shh you'll be ok. You can get through this." With those words i finally let go. I began to cry, hard and ugly. Coughing and choking on my tears here and there. After i had slightly calmed down Ajhussi came over and wiped my tears, "I'm so sorry Momo. I know there's nothing I can say that could make you feel better." I looked over at him, "What about Kida? I can't leave her there." I sniffled and held onto Jimins shirt tightly. Ajhussi threw his bottle in the trash, "Your name is on the will. I was going to discuss this with you when you felt better, but if you're up f-" I jolted up, "I'm taking care of her. I won't leave her there. I don't care what papers i have to sign, she's not being left alone." Ajhussi softly smiled, "I'll talk with you about it another day for now... I'll let you have your time." He bid the boys goodbye and exited the dorm. Hoseok walked over to me with some tissues, "Are you ok now Bibi?" The boys had only heard me scream, but they didn't what Ajhussi had said to me in English. I looked up at his usually smiling face now filled with remorse. I forced a smile, "Yea I just lost someone very important to me. But, I'll be ok." I hated seeing him sad. He was our sunshine, i don't need to be raining on his usual parade. Jimin turned me around to face him, "Are you sure Bibi? You don't have to say so if you're not. It's ok to not be ok." This mochi. Still as sweet as ever, "Wow, look at our chim chim being so supportive" ,I forced out a chuckle, "I'm fine now. I have to be since we're gonna have a new person with us soon". He nodded not forcing further discussion. I stood up and wiped my tears, "Thank you guys. I'm sorry you had to see me have a breakdown, but I'm fine now. I'll go fix my face in the restroom and when I come back we can finish the drama ok?" They nodded and shuffled sadly back towards the living room. Jimin and Joon lagged behind before following the others. I scooted into the restroom, closing the door. I walked over to sink twisting the nozzle releasing the cool tap water to flow. I let the sink fill before placing my face into the water embracing the cold. I held my breath as the words Ajhussi had said began to replay over and over.
'He's dead' 'He's dead'
I pulled my face out of the water and breathed in deeply. I hummed solemn tune as the water droplets rolled down my skin. I looked at my reflection. This was not me. My dark brown eyes so full of happiness and wonder, had become dull and cloudy with sadness. My eye lashes clung to each other in triangular patterns. Underneath my eye had began to puff and gave me what the Koreans call an 'Aegyeo Sal'. My nose was now red from being rubbed against my rough sweater. My cheeks, puffed and tear stained, didn't seem to be going down anytime soon. My lips had also gained plumpness and were looking fuller than usual. I patted my face, trying to relieve the puffiness. I let the water drain and sat back down between Jimin and Hoseok. It was on the part where Baekhyun's character and his lover had been killed. I felt tears begin to build up in my eyes as i watched the 4th prince draw his sword and strike Baekyun across the chest. I could feel eyes on me. I looked up and saw Jimin stare at me with nothing but concern in his eyes. "Crying is ok. You don't have to not cry." ,He whispered in his broken English. I sunk into his shoulder and let my tears flow silently, sniffling here and there. Hobi rubbed my back chanting it's ok over and over. I don't know what I'd do without them.
A/N:
I'm back. It's been too long. I'm doing better, still depressed but now I'm releasing the pain through terrible jokes and fan fiction like a normal person. My updates are hopefully going to be more consistent. No promises since i suck at keeping them.
🐝Bibi🐝